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Skellybones
May 31, 2011




Fun Shoe
Imagine if this was actually a prank released by Croberts

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A Neurotic Jew
Feb 17, 2012

by exmarx

Trapezium Dave posted:

Is this the bulk of the script? There's about a billion different characters and they're all identical.

reddit chat leads me to believe that it contains alot of dialogue from every mission barring the final two.

Happy Sisyphus
Nov 13, 2013

You take the blue paarp - the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red paarp - you stay in pre-alpha, and I show you how deep the sperg wallet goes.

star citizen and anime should be combined

Mr.Tophat
Apr 7, 2007

You clearly don't understand joke development :justpost:
All JPEGs and no gameplay make the script a dull boy

Sedisp
Jun 20, 2012


Imagine if this is a joke and the actual script is worse.

You literally can't.

CROWS EVERYWHERE
Dec 17, 2012

CAW CAW CAW

Dinosaur Gum
The Full Burn lyrics lead me to believe this is not, in fact legit

But imagine how magical it would be if it were

alf_pogs
Feb 15, 2012


CROWS EVERYWHERE posted:

The Full Burn lyrics lead me to believe this is not, in fact legit

i am sure that it will be a character singing along to the song on the radio or something in the background. an 'easter egg'. it seems exactly in keeping with this whole stupid thing

Happy Sisyphus
Nov 13, 2013

You take the blue paarp - the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red paarp - you stay in pre-alpha, and I show you how deep the sperg wallet goes.

weirdly a lot of negativity right now, i feel like i am reading a thread from an alternate timeline where Chris hasn't already delivered a fully featured persistent first person universe simulator

is this a world where Chris Roberts was not the first person to win a nobel prize in literature for a video game script?

Sedisp
Jun 20, 2012


CROWS EVERYWHERE posted:

The Full Burn lyrics lead me to believe this is not, in fact legit

But imagine how magical it would be if it were


What if the full burn lyrics are just something a character is singing.

Full burn is very clearly a song written in universe.

Megafunk
Oct 19, 2010

YEAH!
Was the script in there to act as subtitles? I can't think of another reason.

Sushi in Yiddish
Feb 2, 2008

Happy Sisyphus posted:

star citizen and anime should be combined

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9Xm6zzSiUSc
2 late

Exinos
Mar 1, 2009

OSHA approved squiq
I think there has just been some confusion.

Ryan Archer did not go to a College to study art. Ryan Archer went to a collage as a source of his art.








I apologize if this joke has been used, I am still like 10 pages in the past. If it has been used please just pretend it was run through a photoshop filter and signed Ryan Archer tyvm.

Happy Sisyphus
Nov 13, 2013

You take the blue paarp - the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red paarp - you stay in pre-alpha, and I show you how deep the sperg wallet goes.

it seems that in this timeline, A Neurotic Jew' is not the chief moderator of the /r/starcitizen subreddit...

Toops
Nov 5, 2015

-find mood stabilizers
-also,
Wait holy poo poo... The Squadron 42 script leaked??

CROWS EVERYWHERE
Dec 17, 2012

CAW CAW CAW

Dinosaur Gum

alf_pogs posted:

i am sure that it will be a character singing along to the song on the radio or something in the background. an 'easter egg'. it seems exactly in keeping with this whole stupid thing

[Player]: "@Dlg_SC_ac_spitfire_generic_response_yes_0300"

e: sorry, I meant to say [Player]: "@Dlg_SC_ac_bludgeon_generic_response_no_0310"

NVB
Jan 23, 2010

Grimey Drawer

Sedisp posted:

Ben groaned as he awoke drenched in sweat. As of late this had become more frequent and was by no means unusual. What was unusual was the absence of his wife Alexis, she was never up this early. He grunted has he hefted himself to a sitting position. Ben had never been thin but his weight had been ballooning lately and as the weeks went by even things like sitting and standing had become more and more elaborate rituals.

He swung his legs over the side of the bed and shimmied forward.

"Now for the worst part" he sighed.

He flexed and relaxed his legs a few time to prepare them for their burden. After a few moments he inhaled then pushed his bulk off the bed. His knees let him know of their grievances but they held. He straightened up and trundled to the door bracing briefly against the frame to catch his breath.

The master bedroom was located on the second floor and much to Ben's chagrin Alexis had refused his idea to temporarily relocate to the guest bedroom on the first floor which meant in order to leave the house he was forced to contend with fourteen of his most hated foes. He gritted his teeth has he got to the stairs and began his descent. He still had fears of one or both of his legs going through a step like they had the month before, the steps complained but otherwise the trip was uneventful.

At the bottom of the steps he noticed a light on in the kitchen as he headed towards it he heard crying, his wife was seated at the kitchen table eyes red and puffy, tears still drying on her cheeks.

"Well look who's up" she said a hint of anger creeping into her voice.

Ben rolled his eyes and shuffled towards the refrigerator she had been getting increasingly hostile ever since the company's payroll had gotten delayed. She couldn't understand that this was temporary that everything would be back to normal, maybe not today or next week but surely next month, they could get by on savings that long.

Ben opened the fridge and his face fell. A singular can of red bull remained.

"Sorry I forgot to buy groceries again, you understand right" Alexis called behind him words dripping with sarcasm.

"Alexis don't start with this again Chris is good for it and you know it."

Alexis laughed.

"How much of the money do you think is left Ben? Do you think this has a happy end where you get to trot up to that rear end in a top hat-"

"Enough!" Ben roared.

Now she had done it. She could bad mouth the company all she wanted but not him, not Chris. Chris' vision was the only thing that kept him going. Chris WOULD come through he HAD to.

"He's done more for us than anyone Alexis. He has a vision and if we stick to that vision he'll carry us towards a brighter future"

Alexis just laughed.

"Does that vision include laying you off?"

"Of course it doesn't" Ben said, he wasn't comfortable with the direction this conversation was headed.

"You sure about that?" Alexis picked a piece of paper off the table and held it out. Ben snatched it away from her. It was plain printer paper and scrawled on it were fourteen words

Ben gonna to have to let you go budget cuts I'm sure you understand

His hands shook and the room began to spin, he wanted to believe it was a lie but the signature was unmistakable his hero. His everything.

"Ben?" Alexis said, her voice strained with concern.

"Ya whoah did ehp did eh woh did" was all Ben could manage before consciousness failed him.

:holymoley:

Loving these fanfic's, the creativity in the story telling is very immersion filled.


anyhow it's been 3days when these people staging there walk-out ?

Mr.Tophat
Apr 7, 2007

You clearly don't understand joke development :justpost:

Toops posted:

Wait holy poo poo... The Squadron 42 script leaked??

Please bear in mind the date, but seems that way.

Vincent Van Goatse
Nov 8, 2006

Enjoy every sandwich.

Smellrose
[Randall Graves]: ""
[Zeke]: ""
[Randall Graves]: ""
[Steve Colton]: ""
[Randall Graves]: ""
[Steve Colton]: ""
[Randall Graves]: ""
[Steve Colton]: ""
[Randall Graves]: ""

Happy Sisyphus
Nov 13, 2013

You take the blue paarp - the story ends, you wake up in your bed and believe whatever you want to believe. You take the red paarp - you stay in pre-alpha, and I show you how deep the sperg wallet goes.

could it be that Peter Gabriel was never hired as community manager?

CROWS EVERYWHERE
Dec 17, 2012

CAW CAW CAW

Dinosaur Gum
[Marcus Correl]: "Oh, bad news, I heard Goofy was assigned to your rig for this last shift, so brace yourself, your controls are gonna be screwed."

friendly request to put this into Solar Plebe pls and ty

CROWS EVERYWHERE
Dec 17, 2012

CAW CAW CAW

Dinosaur Gum
[Eugene Morrow]: "'chim's a great guy. Amazing to think he was fiending on WiDoW just a few years ago. Come on, we'll cut through here."

:siren: C0da confirmed as canon :siren:

Matlock Birthmark
Sep 24, 2005

I wanted this to happen!!
Soiled Meat

CROWS EVERYWHERE posted:

[Marcus Correl]: "Oh, bad news, I heard Goofy was assigned to your rig for this last shift, so brace yourself, your controls are gonna be screwed."

friendly request to put this into Solar Plebe pls and ty

Ha, that one would work really well as a ship computer startup quote.

Toops
Nov 5, 2015

-find mood stabilizers
-also,

Solarin posted:

Your cat looks like a remorseless killing machine. I mean all cats are, but he looks especially deadly

He's completely dead behind the eyes. Like pitiless Halloween/Jason levels of dead. He loves his momma, and he tolerates me. But oh gently caress if he doesn't know you, he turns into a demon spawn belched screaming from the boiling pit of hell.

Vincent Van Goatse
Nov 8, 2006

Enjoy every sandwich.

Smellrose
Man the SQ42 dialogue isn't even bad in an entertaining, Ed Wood sort of way. It's just completely boring and cookie cutter and hacky and totally unoriginal.

CROWS EVERYWHERE
Dec 17, 2012

CAW CAW CAW

Dinosaur Gum
[Eugene Morrow]: "Right... might need you to grab them from Web while I finish taking the new pilot to the Briefing Room. Connie, new pilot - new pilot, Starman Connie Hayes."
[Connie Hayes]: "The Morrow Experience Tour. Lucky you. I'll go speak to her."

don't tell me not to reference my game within my game

Dusty Lens
Jul 1, 2015

All Glory unto the Stimpire. Give up your arms and legs and embrace the beautiful agony of electricity that doubles in pain every second.

Apparently they were in the PTU files and have since been pulled.

CIG was informed that they had been discovered by a small number of people, of whom apparently one decided to share it with the world.

If Ben was in charge of/responsible for that in any way it might explain a few things.

CROWS EVERYWHERE
Dec 17, 2012

CAW CAW CAW

Dinosaur Gum
[Sophia Kelly]: "At east."

No Mods No Masters
Oct 3, 2004

ALL-PRO SEXMAN posted:

Man the SQ42 dialogue isn't even bad in an entertaining, Ed Wood sort of way. It's just completely boring and cookie cutter and hacky and totally unoriginal.

Don't worry, I'm sure the direction will push it over the top, to the level of sublime cringeworthiness followers of this project demand

CROWS EVERYWHERE
Dec 17, 2012

CAW CAW CAW

Dinosaur Gum
[Woodrow Tannen]: "The Army likes to fight, and Marines are pretty tough, but if you want adventure, the Navy's got the stuff. Oh we fly the 'verse, protecting those in need. We serve the Empire, At 1/5th light speeeeed! Oh! The Navy life's for me, hey! The Navy life for me."

Dusty Lens
Jul 1, 2015

All Glory unto the Stimpire. Give up your arms and legs and embrace the beautiful agony of electricity that doubles in pain every second.

[Captain Maclaren]: "I saw you applied to the flight academy again."
[Player]: "@Dlg_SC_ac_spitfire_generic_response_yes_0300"

CROWS EVERYWHERE
Dec 17, 2012

CAW CAW CAW

Dinosaur Gum
[Sophia Kelly]: "Woodrow Tannen, the repairs were supposed to be completed last shift."
[Woodrow Tannen]: "They were, sir, but you know how these older ships are. As soon as I replaced the conduit, the whole breaker blew. Have to change out the entire thing now, sir."

more dialogue for the Plebes

Gravity_Storm
Mar 1, 2016

Star Citizen is literally in my top 5 games of all time - It gives me LOLs every day guaranteed.

I can't believe the whole script was in the build. There's enough comedy material in there for WEEKS.

Just another clusterfuck day day at CIG.

CROWS EVERYWHERE
Dec 17, 2012

CAW CAW CAW

Dinosaur Gum
This is loving magical. Even when it is revealed as an April Fool's Day joke, it will be full of enough rich meaty memes to feed the thread for a year

Tokamak
Dec 22, 2004

Ash1138 posted:

i hope this is an april fool's joke false flag molehunt counter-op

If this was fake, it is a step above any of the satire written in this thread. The leaked script is pretty consistent with the style and tone of language used in the Morrow tour, and what we know about the plot of the game.

Skellybones
May 31, 2011




Fun Shoe

CROWS EVERYWHERE posted:

[Woodrow Tannen]: "The Army likes to fight, and Marines are pretty tough, but if you want adventure, the Navy's got the stuff. Oh we fly the 'verse, protecting those in need. We serve the Empire, At 1/5th light speeeeed! Oh! The Navy life's for me, hey! The Navy life for me."

Can't wait for the garage band cover release of this song.

Tippis
Mar 21, 2008

It's yet another day in the wasteland.

Let's look at that list again.

Games with story, script, or similarly writing credits by Chris:
• Strike Commander (mission design, original outline)
• Wing Commander III (story, but script written by Terry Borst and Frank De Palma)

“Chris-games” not written by Chris:
• Wing Commander (witten by Philip Brogden, Steve Cantrell, Jeff George)
• Wing Commander mission packs (written by Aaron Allston, Steve Cantrell, Ellen Beeman)
• Wing Commander II (written by Gilbert P. Austin, Ellen Beeman, Stephen Beeman, Jeff George, Paul Arden Lidberg, Brian Martin)
• Wing Commander II mission packs (written by Jack Herman, Charles Cafrelli, Chris Douglas, Ellen Beeman, Kevin Potter)
• Wing Commander: Privateer (written by Gilbert P. Austin)
• Privateer mission pack (written by Arthur DiBianca, Phil Wattenbarger)
• Strike Commander mission pack (no writing credits)
• Wing Commander: Armada (no writing credits)
• Wing Commander IV (written by Terry Borst, Frank De Palma, Kevin Schlipper, Melissa Tyler)
• Privateer 2 (written by Diane Duane, Peter Milligan)
• Wing Commander: Prophecy (written by Chris Douglas, Adam Foshko, Phil Wattenbarger, David Carren, J. Larry Carroll)
• Starlancer (concept by Nick Elms, Philip Meller, Erin D. Roberts; missions by Zuby Ahmed, Nick Elms, Brian J. Flanagan, Simon Harris, Philip Mervik, Steve Routledge, Darren Vaile, Will Whitehead)
• Freelancer (written by Adam Foshko, Jörg Neumann)

Coincidentally, WC3 is by far the weakest story in the WC series, and Strike Commander makes Iron Eagle look like Proust. Why anyone in their right mind would ever think that Chris was the right person to write… oh… anything is beyond me.

No Mods No Masters
Oct 3, 2004

Meme's back on the menu boys

CROWS EVERYWHERE
Dec 17, 2012

CAW CAW CAW

Dinosaur Gum

Dusty Lens posted:

Apparently they were in the PTU files and have since been pulled.

CIG was informed that they had been discovered by a small number of people, of whom apparently one decided to share it with the world.

If Ben was in charge of/responsible for that in any way it might explain a few things.

S-source please :eyepop:

Thoatse
Feb 29, 2016

Lol said the scorpion, lmao

Tortolia posted:

You would need a plumber too if you flushed $111 million down a toilet

As a reformed plumber, this made me laugh more than it should have... I once read a Yelp ad about the company I worked for which had ridiculous prices and it said: "don't call these guys unless your toilet is clogged with money" :v:

plumbing... it's a poo poo job -Ryan Archer

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CROWS EVERYWHERE
Dec 17, 2012

CAW CAW CAW

Dinosaur Gum
[Player]: "@Dlg_SC_ac_bullseye_player_order_assistance_required_0121"

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