Star Citizen: Big MoMA's House

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > The Goodmine > Star Citizen: Big MoMA's House

«‹›6665 »

CROWS EVERYWHERE: Dec 17, 2012; CAW CAW CAW; Dinosaur Gum

Dementropy posted:

Dammit, Crows Everywhere! Now I'm picturing a version of I, Claudius with CIG staff.

I'm sorry. I can only hope that this will make it up to you.

e: super sekrit Babel synpe :synpa:

# ? Apr 5, 2016 10:10

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Apr 29, 2024 01:56

Dementropy: Aug 23, 2010

Seriously? Babelrolled.

Well played.

# ? Apr 5, 2016 10:14

Sillybones: Aug 10, 2013; go away,
spooky skeleton,
go away

Haskell9 posted:

Also people were being weird to that new guy because his first post that I saw read exactly like what a reputation management company's employee would write to 'soften the narrative' of the thread while maintaining tone close enough to the baseline to avoid being called out. I'm not saying that's what he is - it could have been just unfortunate phrasing plus residual kool-aid notions - but my first thought was the shill co. CiG hired threw some poor intern into the shark tank for grins.

Yes.

# ? Apr 5, 2016 10:17

iron buns: Jan 12, 2016

CROWS EVERYWHERE posted:

Got it, noice one

Did you find :pgabz:

too?

# ? Apr 5, 2016 10:22

AP: Jul 12, 2004; One Ring to fool them all
One Ring to find them
One Ring to milk them all
and pockets fully line them; Grimey Drawer

Toops posted:

Yeah, truth.

Ok story time. My mom went back to school when I was around 11 for Computer Science, and went on to teach and do academic research for many years. So I was lucky enough to be around phd-level comp-sci people for a good part of my formative years. Aside from what I learned, it was through those connections I got a summer job working for a branch of Sierra Games (Dynamix). This was high-school, so I was hired as QA, and later got to do some grunt-coding on games like Starsiege Tribes, PGA Golf, etc. I had a great manager who taught me something I'll never, ever forget:

There are only two ways to tell how good code is:
1. How do you feel when you're using it?
2. Is it easy to change?

CIG represents the antithesis of what I've learned over the years. First and foremost, the only real way to measure progress is with working code. The only real test of your architecture how easily you can turn ideas into working code. The only real test of your game is how fun it is. The only real test of your enterprise software is how well your customers like it.

Instead, CIG does the opposite. They promise features without vetting their feasibility, or even really thinking about what they're promising. They don't consider what's fun. They create art assets without considering how to control them, or transfer them over a network. And so it's no surprise we have a near-empty dumpster lined and splattered with fragments of disembodied viscera. A stimperial vista. The waves of stench could gag a maggot. When the game isn't crashing it feels like it's being held captive against its will. None of this has changed. But CIG only seem concerned with how things appear in a press release, and clearly don't value working code. Otherwise they'd have some by now.

It begs the question, how the hell do they measure success? A bullshit money counter? Millions of "users?" What is this??

Ok I'm getting loving heated, and I fear this all might come off a bit self-aggrandizing. But it's not. I'm honestly just an average guy who's had a fortunate life and some great mentors. I'm loving pissed off but this isn't about me. This is about engineering as a practice. I'm sticking up for Art, Design, Computer Science, Creative Writing, and all the many fields that CIG has dishonored.

From an engineering standpoint, CIG is a loving god drat disgrace. They're an insult to my profession. There's no other way to say it.
From a design standpoint, CIG is a disgrace (how's that Ship pipeline there, guys? How are those mocap datasets coming along?)
From a visual arts standpoint, CIG is a disgrace (no creativity, no style, assets used as propaganda, RYAN loving ARCHER)
From a writing standpoint, CIG is a hackneyed disgrace.
From a sales/marketing standpoint, CIG is a lying, scummy disgrace.

I don't know guys. To say I wanna watch them burn in effigy is the understatement of the week.

This is a great post, I remember back in 2014 wondering why CIG never featured the networking team considering how important it was going to be for the core features of the game. They'd do lots of features on the other teams, now we know why.

# ? Apr 5, 2016 10:24

ewe2: Jul 1, 2009

Parallelwoody posted:

Two games diverged from a kickstarter
And sorry I could not support both
One made by Braben, one by Crobber
Which sold JPEGS and promised harder
Where scope creep encountered massive growth;

I backed the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better pitch,
Because it could be made and had some care;
And SC seemed like vaporware
Plus Sandi is a pube hating bitch,

And both eventually were funded
But Crobberts had to promise more.
Oh, the whales immersed in JPEGS galore!
Yet seeing feature progress stunted,
The Smart money headed towards the door.

I shall be parping this with a sigh
Gestures wild with belligerence:
Two games were made about space, and I�
I backed the one where space ships fly,
A working game is the difference.

# ? Apr 5, 2016 10:28

Truga: May 4, 2014; Lipstick Apathy

Ash1138 posted:

a massive industrialized nation with an atrocious human rights and worker safety record with a government that's so hellbent on reinforcing its territorial claims that it's building islands out of nothing in the middle of a disputed sea?

not sure i want a country with that attitude taking an interest in manned spaceflight and exploration of the solar system

What are they going to do with it, lay claim to vast quantities of interplanetary vacuum? lmbo

# ? Apr 5, 2016 10:29

MeLKoR: Dec 23, 2004; by FactsAreUseless

Darkpriest667 posted:

So yes.. the two largest cities in China having a good GMP matters. The fact that Shanghai was building towers everywhere last time I was there, 3 years ago, signaled to me that major economic growth was going on.

I was in Angola little over a year ago and there were sky scrappers being built all over Luanda, look at it now. No one was expecting the sovereign debt crisis in Europe to blow up like it did, how can the economic health of dictatorships where there is massive blatant corruption and no free press be accurately ascertained?

# ? Apr 5, 2016 10:35

Daztek: Jun 2, 2006

MeLKoR posted:

I was in the brown sea little over a year ago and there were spaceships being built all over the 'verse, look at it now. No one was expecting the funding of Star Citizen to blow up like it did, how can the economic health of dictatorships where there is massive blatant corruption and no free press be accurately ascertained?

# ? Apr 5, 2016 10:46

Daztek: Jun 2, 2006

Speaking of funding

Woah

# ? Apr 5, 2016 10:47

Parallelwoody: Apr 10, 2008

Their economy was only in pre alpha. You just don't know profit development.

# ? Apr 5, 2016 10:47

Skellybones: May 31, 2011; Fun Shoe

Daztek posted:

Speaking of funding

Woah

Every time I see these charts, I think of this:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KPsj0oOJB24

# ? Apr 5, 2016 10:52

LastCaress: May 8, 2004; bonobo

CT aborted, doggue too big

# ? Apr 5, 2016 10:53

MeLKoR: Dec 23, 2004; by FactsAreUseless

Terebus posted:

When I grow up, I want to be able to tell my children I posted in the Star Citizen thread.

I'm training my children to be my shitposting wingmen, they'll run interference for me and overwhelm any griefer with a torrent of paarps.

# ? Apr 5, 2016 10:54

Devian666: Aug 20, 2008; Take some advice Chris.; Fun Shoe

Variable 5 posted:

How many people want to live in a building built like this?

When we find a building like this the structural engineer tells everyone to leave immediately and condemns the building. Building death traps to create artificially supported growth isn't what we'd call sustainable. Chinese ghost cities are the Star Citizen of the construction industry. :gary:

# ? Apr 5, 2016 10:59

Xaerael: Aug 25, 2010; Marching Powder is objectively the worst poster known. He also needs to learn how a keyboard works.

MeLKoR posted:

I'm training my children to be my shitposting wingmen, they'll run interference for me and overwhelm any griefer with a torrent of paarps.

Lowtax should develop multicrew accounts.

# ? Apr 5, 2016 11:03

MeLKoR: Dec 23, 2004; by FactsAreUseless

Devian666 posted:

Building death traps to create artificially supported growth isn't what we'd call sustainable.

It stimulates the coffin industry.

The idea that building empty cities now is part of a long term urbanization plan is ridiculous. Unoccupied buildings degrade fast, considering the initial building quality those buildings will be worse than worthless in 5 years time.

# ? Apr 5, 2016 11:04

CROWS EVERYWHERE: Dec 17, 2012; CAW CAW CAW; Dinosaur Gum

MeLKoR posted:

I'm training my children to be my shitposting wingmen, they'll run interference for me and overwhelm any griefer with a torrent of paarps.

My bird helps me shitpost every day. Sometimes he even poops on the keyboard. That is how I post in GBS.

# ? Apr 5, 2016 11:20

LastCaress: May 8, 2004; bonobo

That's not a crow.

# ? Apr 5, 2016 11:21

Daztek: Jun 2, 2006

LastCaress posted:

That's not a crow.

Crows are smart, they would never post a picture of themselves on the internet

# ? Apr 5, 2016 11:26

no_recall: Aug 17, 2015; Lipstick Apathy

LastCaress posted:

That's not a crow.

You clearly have no idea about crow development.

# ? Apr 5, 2016 11:31

intardnation: Feb 18, 2016; I'm going to space!

Skellybones posted:

Will Chris Roberts many underhanded dealings result in him being marked for death by the Triads? Will the Swedish Mafia get to him first? Stay tuned to find out.

He can rip off the neonazis!

# ? Apr 5, 2016 11:36

intardnation: Feb 18, 2016; I'm going to space!

Daztek posted:

Speaking of funding

Woah

i see some snorting going on

on the bright side - a full timer must be hired to keep up with this thread alone!

# ? Apr 5, 2016 11:38

intardnation: Feb 18, 2016; I'm going to space!

no_recall posted:

They have a special snowflake.

only butthurt varieties though I believe.

# ? Apr 5, 2016 11:39

TTerrible: Jul 15, 2005

Good morning.

Caught up with the thread and I have some thoughts. atxsperg please be real. Dark priest you're the urgoon.

Toops goddamnit you worked on tribes. I played TAC till it ruined me.

# ? Apr 5, 2016 12:02

Berious: Nov 13, 2005

Scathach posted:

But what if we keep throwing money at it? That helps right? RIGHT?

I really like fat stacks catte and the new 8Ace. I hope this china derail is over soon

# ? Apr 5, 2016 12:10

Mr.Tophat: Apr 7, 2007; You clearly don't understand joke development

MeLKoR posted:

For some reasons you assholes decided to post 20 pages during the night and once again I get ready to tackle this bitch.

In case I can't manage before we make it to page 3000 I just wanted to add my voice to the people that are calling for a new thread once we reach this stretch goal. Uncle Derek was the obvious OP during the previous phase for being public enough to become the visible face of the growing discontented. An added bonus was the fact that him being the OP threw the shitizens into a tizzy. However DS is unable to keep an updated OP or change the thread title and the SC thread badly needs an index, that alone would make a new thread desirable. But more than that, I think at this stage we can all agree that there was a definitive change after Star Marine, dissent has been constantly growing in the CIG forums, reddit has became the echo chamber for citizens and Star Citizen is now undeniably on hold.

tl;dr: poo poo has changed, these are new times, we need a new thread and volunteers to take up the burden

Agreed.

Trying to work my way through the thread too.

# ? Apr 5, 2016 12:11

Astrobastard: Dec 31, 2008; Winky Face

# ? Apr 5, 2016 12:20

Dark Off: Aug 14, 2015

i just love how fast he logged off after seeing that :pgabz:

video.

# ? Apr 5, 2016 12:20

Jobbo_Fett: Mar 7, 2014; Slava Ukrayini; Clapping Larry

Star Citizen: Only 15000 more posts to go!

Hello future self, hope your day is going well.

# ? Apr 5, 2016 12:25

Agrajag: Jan 21, 2006; gat dang thats hot

LastCaress posted:

That's not a crow.

i know right? what a dumbass

# ? Apr 5, 2016 12:25

MedicineHut: Feb 25, 2016

Lime Tonics posted:

Rings on the wrong hand though.

It is a Ryan Archer job.

# ? Apr 5, 2016 12:26

Mr.Tophat: Apr 7, 2007; You clearly don't understand joke development

ewe2 posted:

Let us parp, oh Derek who art in goondom, hallowed be thy code:

* lyrics
* do your own bloody harmonies, that poo poo is whack
* free parps to good homes.
* hi reddit, you suck.

# ? Apr 5, 2016 12:30

KM Scorchio: Feb 13, 2008; "If you don't find rape hilarious, you're a sensitive crybaby."

intardnation posted:

i see some snorting going on

on the bright side - a full timer must be hired to keep up with this thread alone!

CIGs funding graph really should just be a graphical representation of CR snorting backers money.

# ? Apr 5, 2016 12:32

Palisader: Mar 14, 2012; DESPAIR MORTALS, FOR I WISH TO PLAY PATTY-CAKE

atxsperg if you see this, it's pretty obvious that you're a former employee and, based on some of your responses, that you worked with the artists. With that said...

Did you know Ryan Archer? Is he a massive rear end in a top hat?

# ? Apr 5, 2016 12:36

Xaerael: Aug 25, 2010; Marching Powder is objectively the worst poster known. He also needs to learn how a keyboard works.

Daztek posted:

Speaking of funding

Woah

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d3NxEGSrDeE

# ? Apr 5, 2016 12:40

TTerrible: Jul 15, 2005

Daztek posted:

Speaking of funding

Woah

Wow I just realised they broke that $50k floor :chanpop:

# ? Apr 5, 2016 12:42

CROWS EVERYWHERE: Dec 17, 2012; CAW CAW CAW; Dinosaur Gum

LastCaress posted:

That's not a crow.

Don't tell him that, he's adopted

# ? Apr 5, 2016 12:43

Mr.Tophat: Apr 7, 2007; You clearly don't understand joke development

Decrepus posted:

This thread has become more sad than the CIG forums.

Do you feel grief?

Also, the words under your avatar? Where are they from? They are good.

# ? Apr 5, 2016 12:43

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Apr 29, 2024 01:56

Feindfeuer: Jun 20, 2013; shoot men, receive credits

TTerrible posted:

Wow I just realised they broke that $50k floor

I'm more impressed that they still have so much daily sales. I mean who is buying that stuff all the time? Is there actually an influx of new players and if so, why? Or are the whales accumulating more and more ships so they can later equip their make-believe fleet, rent them out or 'sell them for a profit ingame' ?

# ? Apr 5, 2016 12:47

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > The Goodmine > Star Citizen: Big MoMA's House

«‹›6665 »