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Who Is Paul Blart
Oct 22, 2010
I believe that ghosts are real and strong adn that their power can be harnessed for good or evil by a powerful human. I seek to become powerful. Tell me how to do this.

Thanks in advance :coolfish:

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JiveHonky
May 12, 2001

by zen death robot
Grimey Drawer
oh snap the blackburn ghost is back
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dc3CYYte_f4

a shiny rock
Nov 13, 2009

become a ghost

ClamdestineBoyster
Aug 15, 2015
Probation
Can't post for 10 years!
You will become powerless to your demon. :catstare:

A ILL BREAKFAST
Jun 9, 2007

*unsheathes katana*
its gonna sound like a joke but the first step is to get dead

Ratjaculation
Aug 3, 2007

:parrot::parrot::parrot:



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k85mRPqvMbE

Sibilant Crisp
Jul 4, 2014

one time I took out four pieces of chicken out of the freezer to thaw and covered them with a damp paper towel. I lifted the towel a few hours later and there were only three pieces of chicken.

god drat ghosts i swear to GOD

Who Is Paul Blart
Oct 22, 2010
I ate ur chickey but I am not ghost?

Sibilant Crisp
Jul 4, 2014

Professor Tomtom posted:

I ate ur chickey but I am not ghost?

pay me back you poo poo

Gaunab
Feb 13, 2012
LUFTHANSA YOU FUCKING DICKWEASEL
Ghost are more believable than love.

JiveHonky
May 12, 2001

by zen death robot
Grimey Drawer
have you ever made a dook so stinky that you almost passed out? thats the power of ghost

scott zoloft
Dec 7, 2015

yeah same
i knew a girl who swore she was getting hosed by two ghosts on the reg

Dave_Indeed
Feb 22, 2004

by FactsAreUseless
My butt is haunted.

Ratjaculation
Aug 3, 2007

:parrot::parrot::parrot:



Dave_Indeed posted:

My butt is haunted.

spoohky

Sponge Baathist
Jan 30, 2010

by FactsAreUseless

Rationale
May 17, 2005

America runs on in'
Why dont they have ghosts at the zoo.

Who Is Paul Blart
Oct 22, 2010

scott zoloft posted:

i knew a girl who swore she was getting hosed by two ghosts on the reg

did it make her mokre powerful?

JiveHonky
May 12, 2001

by zen death robot
Grimey Drawer

Rationale posted:

Why dont they have ghosts at the zoo.

they do????

redm
Feb 20, 2016


Sugartime Jones
i swallowed a ghost once by accident

JimsonTheBetrayer
Oct 13, 2010

Game's over, and fuck you Jimson. It's not my fault that you guys couldn't get your shit together by deadline. No one gets access to docs because I don't fucking care anymore, I hope you all enjoyed ruining my game, and there won't be another.

Butyraceous posted:

one time I took out four pieces of chicken out of the freezer to thaw and covered them with a damp paper towel. I lifted the towel a few hours later and there were only three pieces of chicken.

god drat ghosts i swear to GOD

Oh god... starving girl is back... Someone inform Applewhite

FreudianSlippers
Apr 12, 2010

Shooting and Fucking
are the same thing!

You have two options.

The first:

Carve this stave on skin of a horse's head with a mixture of blood from a seal, a fox, and a man:


Recite the following incantation:
Þykkt blóð, þreytast rekkar.
Þjóð mörg vos öld bjóða,
grand heitt, gummar andast,
glatast auður, firrast snauðir.
Hætt grand hræðast dróttir
hríð mörg, vesöld kvíða,
angur vænt, ærnar skærur.
Illur sveimur nú er í heimi.

A ghost and/or an evil spirit should arrive shortly. This incantation and stave can also be used to exorcise spirits or ghosts.

The second:

Carve this stave in oak, and color the groove with blood. The blood is to be from the big toe of the right foot, and the thumb of the left hand, and then place this stave on the grave of your choice and walk three times clockwise and three times counter-clockwise around the church. Watch carefully to be sure that dirt spouts from the grave three times, and at the third spout it is imperative that you be prepared to receive the ghost. First you must grab the ghost lick away the fetid necro-foam that seeps from the mouth and nose of the walking carcass. After this is done you must wet its tongue with blood from your right little toe and then wrestle into submission. If you win it will serve you and can be sent to haunt or kill your enemies and their families for generations, if you lose it will at best drive you insane and at worst drag you back into the grave. If it becomes evident that even if defeated the ghost will not do your bidding you must break its back and drive it back into the ground. To prevent it from rising again and seeking revenge for the disturbance it is recommended you drive two iron stakes into the grave, one at the top and one at the bottom bottom, then you should and dig a small hole in the exact center between them and defecate into it.


Not however that "ghost" in this instance refers to the Nordic draugr which is a corporeal revenant which has more in common with the Slavic vampire than ethereal specters that most people associate the word "ghost" with.

Ratjaculation
Aug 3, 2007

:parrot::parrot::parrot:



A gho gho gho gho ghoooost

🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸

Sponge Baathist
Jan 30, 2010

by FactsAreUseless

Rationale posted:

Why dont they have ghosts at the zoo.

They used to right next to the cages that had a sign that said "'the N-word'" but things have changed and now us spooks still go to the zoo but only visiting.

a hole-y ghost
May 10, 2010

Professor Tomtom posted:

I believe that ghosts are real and strong adn that their power can be harnessed for good or evil by a powerful human. I seek to become powerful. Tell me how to do this.

Thanks in advance :coolfish:
ghost power is only as good as a weak fart sorry to let you down.

That Robot
Sep 16, 2004

ask me anything about robots
Buglord

that's like all in arabic according to the YouTube comments

Cartouche
Jan 4, 2011

A ILL BREAKFAST posted:

its gonna sound like a joke but the first step is to get dead

Get busy living or get busy dying.

Kuato
Feb 25, 2005

"I CAN'T BELIEVE I ATE THE WHOLE THING"
Buglord
I'm skeptical you're a professor OP. What's your Ph.D (player hating degree) in?

nomadologique
Mar 9, 2011

DUNK A DILL PICKLE REALDO
that's funn y op, as i do not

PathAsc
Nov 15, 2011

Hail SS-18 Satan may he cleanse us with nuclear fire

PISS TAPE IS REAL

be a necromancer, skeletons are way more powerful

Shaquin
May 12, 2007
ghosts are real

Business Gorillas
Mar 11, 2009

:harambe:



Ratjaculation posted:

A gho gho gho gho ghoooost

🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸🐸

Quote-Unquote
Oct 22, 2002



what are the rules for becoming a ghost? like obviously not all dead people are ghosts because otherwise there'd be ghosts fuckin everywhere, so like do some people become ghosts and others don't when they die? what's a guy gotta do to haunt people i hate when i dead?

hitchensgoespop
Oct 22, 2008
What if there was a ghost, but it was the ghost of a Chinaman.
I can imagine that and it's p funny imho

www
Aug 4, 2010

ghosts arent real idiots

JiveHonky
May 12, 2001

by zen death robot
Grimey Drawer

www posted:

ghosts arent real idiots

whoa whoa whoa whoa whoaaaaa ?!?!??!

Tricky D
Apr 1, 2005

I love um!
Hell is having to roam the Earth forever unable to communicate with anyone but TV mediums.

PathAsc
Nov 15, 2011

Hail SS-18 Satan may he cleanse us with nuclear fire

PISS TAPE IS REAL

if ghosts were real we'd still have the paranormal subforum

Who Is Paul Blart
Oct 22, 2010
We don't have it because maybe the ghosts suppressed it?

SilkyP
Jul 21, 2004

The Boo-Box

I have a phantom penis

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Microwaves Mom
Nov 8, 2015

by zen death robot
Show me a ghost and I'll show you how it wasnt actually a ghost.

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