God Hole posted:

I was a barback in college and one of my coworkers came out of the bathroom in the middle of happy hour covered in piss. It turned out someone pissed into a plunger and then carefully suctioned it onto the ceiling with the piss still inside.

Supple Moisture posted:

One time I picked up a patient that claimed to be getting raped by a ghost.

Mozi posted:

That kind of experience can really haunt someone.

Gazpacho posted:

2032: all restaurants are taco bell, all operating systems are linux

2038: civilization collapses

LeftistMuslimObama posted:

im at the combination microsoft and linux shell

God Hole posted:

I was a barback in college and one of my coworkers came out of the bathroom in the middle of happy hour covered in piss. It turned out someone pissed into a plunger and then carefully suctioned it onto the ceiling with the piss still inside.

Volume posted:

Plethora posted:

I refuse to pretend that this makes sense.


I don't know the history behind this painting but it's haunting and I love it.

Tasteful Dickpic posted:

"Cat Upset By Goatse"

iRend posted:

i tried but she didn't care


no no dora its not for sniffing its for expressing my discontent


derp


WHAT IS HAPPENING I AM WOOL


superderp.jpg

lord funk posted:

iRend posted:

WHAT WALKS ON FOUR LEGS IN THE MORNING

TWO LEGS IN THE TOMORROW

PEANUT BUTTER SANDWICH

atomicthumbs posted:

GOTTA STAY FAI posted:

I hadn't either, until I finally called a contractor in to explain what the heck was going on when things started looking dicey. "I'm saving some money," I said to myself when I bought the supplies. "Lay it yourself, it's just tile on slab. There's no way to gently caress that up."

I was wrong.

Dead wrong.

After a few months, I had gaps in my grout. In less than half a year, I had cracked tiles. Twelve months later, poo poo hit the fan. The slab had ruptured catastrophically, ruining the tiling job I'd done, and a portal to the underworld consumed my living room ensemble and my new TV. A cacophonous chorus erupted from the gap where my tasteful-yet-traditional ceramic floor tiles had once been: an undead army's battle cry. Atop a flaming steed with gleaming eyes of obsidian rode the reinvigorated corpse of John Wayne, leading the charge against the world of the living. They erupted from the hole in the foundation with all the rage that furious, damned spirits could muster, paying no mind to the few remaining intact Style Selections "Colonial Wood" pecan ceramic floor tiles available at Lowes.com. The reign of our dark lord John Wayne is a brutal one, the skies darkened with acrid smoke and peppered not by shining stars but by the glittering eyes of myriad flying beasts whose sole purpose is to fill us with terror (or, at best, unease).

So, you know, at least consider an anti-fracture membrane

Apeshit Sixfingers posted:

I need people to PM me pictures. Horrifying pictures. I will make more if this is done.

Karate Bastard posted:

The worst part is I think he's sincere.

SirEvelynTremble posted:

http://i.imgur.com/PnzK0jl.jpg

Apeshit Sixfingers posted:

drat, that's a dead ringer for Guy Fieri!
Wait...

That is Guy Fieri.

You bastard.

Apeshit Sixfingers posted:

Guy Fieri, just enjoying his alone time at his ranch!

Apeshit Sixfingers posted:

Guy Fieri be careful! Hot kielbasa coming through!

Pennywise the Frown posted:

Oh god, please someone do something with this (yeah yeah, I have no skills, I know).

http://i.imgur.com/qVkvnbc.webm

Apeshit Sixfingers posted:

I'm really bad at making gifs

Apeshit Sixfingers posted:

Apeshit Sixfingers posted:

High school glamour shots you say?

computer parts posted:

I still haven't heard a reason why the jar of urine is bad other than people assuming it's pure toilet humor.

Uncle Boogeyman posted:

I know, right? I think the jar of piss should get nominated for best supporting actor

computer parts posted:

Case in point.

Uncle Boogeyman posted:

I will die, on this hill of piss

Outfreakage posted:

Here ya go

Equeen posted:

It would be really cool if people like you got this upset over the Dr. Strange movie's blatant whitewashing. I guess urine is more offensive.

Uncle Boogeyman posted:

Haaaaaahahahaha

"You didn't like the piss joke? Well what about racism, you monster?"

Whizbang posted:

Well, they're both yellow perils.

SciFiDownBeat posted:

hey let's not argue about james cameron for a dozen pages all over again, how about it fellas

[covers mouth, speaks in high pitch] yeah that sound pretty good

[low voice] that guy is pretty smart

[girly voice] attractive too

Pick posted:

I'm not sure, they're just the best example I can recall of "incredibly insane and hilarious fetish" and striking artistic competence. I think in one there was also a mastodon man where his trunk was a wiener, and I think the brontosaurus man's tail was also a wiener? I just realized I said "brontosaurus", it's apatosaurus obviously.

Captain Foo posted:

front-page reading joke

Dex posted:

dsyp

Equeen posted:

What could have been...




I can't believe we were deprived of such wonderful lines like, "You thought a pair of glasses could fool the world's greatest detective?" and "Tell that to Zod's snapped neck."

CelticPredator posted:

my script is better

Equeen posted:

SUPERMAN: Tell that to Zod's snapped neck.

CelticPredator posted:

alt ending

Kirk posted:

one of the lead writers on welcome to night vale asked me out for coffee once and i told him i wasnt gay and he stopped talking tom e

Kirk posted:

a year later he saw me making out with a dude and he started crying

The MSJ posted:

edit:

Arctic Baldwin posted:

imagine a boot breaking zods neck- forever

Cardboard Box A posted:

Panty Saluter posted:

https://twitter.com/stuartmwrites/status/715901416435552257

Trig Discipline posted:

Welcome to the garden
Please respect the rules
We've got tea and crumpets, dear
But please don't act like fools
We are people, you will find
Who still say "ma'am" and "please"
You can smell the flowers
But don't touch the shrubberies

In the garden, welcome to the garden
hope you don't have allergies, geeze
Uaaggh
We don't want to watch you sneeeze

Part of Everything posted:

Which one of you chucklefucks did this?

Son of Thunderbeast posted:

And I'll look down and whisper, "A miscarriage is definitely not a joke, and I have no intention of making light of it. And it can be a tough and emotional thing for couples to go through, speaking from personal experience. And I know that it's often much harder on the woman than on the man. However, I also know that it doesn't necessarily turn you into a sad, depressed sack of tears for the rest of your life. People can move past it, and heal."

atomicthumbs posted:

Babe Magnet posted:

rewritten song lyrics is the death of humor

Babe Magnet posted:

rewritten song lyrics is the death of humor

no they will not posted:

[x]

Puppy Galaxy posted:

Sham bam bamina! posted:

Yeah, when a horde of imbeciles bandwagons it into the ground.

Minarch posted:

Then this thread must be the death of humor

Travis343 posted:

That's all of pyf honestly

Lunchmeat Larry posted:

untrue. pyf is the place where we quote jokes, and explain why they should be illegal, and gather in memory of the time a joke was told and not dissected, and explain why this can never happen again. the death of humour will only happen when pyf fulfills its purpose and all jokes are killed