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Toops
Nov 5, 2015

-find mood stabilizers
-also,

Colostomy Bag posted:

Ben: "Hey, this isn't the tattoo I paid for."

Artist: "Sorry, you were looking at a concept pic."

Ben: "I demand a refund."

Artist: "It's in the queue."

YES dude. YES to this burn.

edit: page snipe sea horror:

Toops fucked around with this message at 02:17 on Apr 15, 2016

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Palisader
Mar 14, 2012

DESPAIR MORTALS, FOR I WISH TO PLAY PATTY-CAKE
Pgabz, you are a refreshing breeze

Ragequit
Jun 1, 2006


Lipstick Apathy
That was the first time I heard Ben's voice - not really what I expected. Also that appeared to be a straight up mini-stroke.

fuctifino
Jun 11, 2001

Ben's getting space prison tattoos in preparation for the ELE.

grimcreaper
Jan 7, 2012


i literally thought it was a joke... i had no idea. Woa eh dip deh wo ma woah mu hed.

Blue On Blue
Nov 14, 2012

The extremely fat man got a tattoo ?

lol

Lime Tonics
Nov 7, 2015

by FactsAreUseless
42 INT. TIGER CLAW - FLIGHT DECK

Marine guards scan the identity badges and examine the orders of the two new lieutenants, MOS, then step back and salute. Paladin's ID is also electronically scanned.

The three walk towards the elevators, passing the flight deck.

The flight deck is busy, as repair crews struggle to patch combat damage from the last engagement -- we get the sense that the Tiger Claw has seen a lot of action.

PALADIN
Well, gentlemen, don't think I haven't enjoyed your company.

MANIAC
We won't...Sir.

BLAIR
So what about the tattoo?

PALADIN
You know what it is?

BLAIR
It's a Kilrathi marker. You were a prisoner of war.

PALADIN
That's right. I was on the Iason when they took her.

BLAIR
The Iason. That was the first ship to have contact with the Kilrathi. There weren't any survivors.

PALADIN
I guess not.

Elevator doors open. PALADIN steps in.

BLAIR
Why don't you have it removed?

PALADIN
Let's just say, it helps me not forget.

BLAIR
Not forget what?

PALADIN
Why I fight.

Doors start to close.

MANIAC
So what exactly do the Kilrathi look like?

PALADIN
...They're ugly.
(directly to Blair)
Good luck.

Ohtsam
Feb 5, 2010

Not this shit again.

ewe2 posted:

I can't play the guitar solo tho. It would have to be some kind of terrible keyboard solo. And you wouldn't want that.

How about the Family Matters Theme Song? Mostly piano and drums

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ftLhANQxX0s

Full House might be funny too "Everywhere you look theres a parp that needs you"

Ohtsam fucked around with this message at 02:18 on Apr 15, 2016

Paramemetic
Sep 29, 2003

Area 51. You heard of it, right?





Fallen Rib
Thanks for slowing down everyone it was a wild ride catching up since 11

850 posts with a 3 hour time out in the middle y'all done good

Risc1911
Mar 1, 2016

AP posted:



It's a nice break from designing shoes.

Wait what? She is a Mother? She got a kid? A litlle Crobert? WTF!

flyboi
Oct 13, 2005

agg stop posting
College Slice

Risc1911 posted:

Effort Post incoming...

Just recently Chris Roberts said they are "re-factoring" the server and client net-code. At this point CIG does not have a network solution and will most likely not have one in the near future. What they have is the standard CryEngine network stack and server slightly modified (read hacked) to support a few more players.

We also heard they are sending Megabytes of data to the clients which in turn means they have not even started to optimize the serialization of their objects which is frightening to say the least.

Since they have not even started with persistence they do not have any infrastructure or server code for that either. The only thing they have is an account database for the web users which might be re-usable for the login server but most certainly not for the MMO account server.

People think making a MMO is hard because of all the content and the size. That is unfortunately not true. You can throw a ton of artists and level designers at a project without running into much of a problem, given your workflow and management is competent. They will create your art and content effortlessly when directed by professionals. Content creation scales really well in that regard.

Programming does not scale well at all even with stellar management. Especially not specialized tasks like networking or engine optimization. You can't throw 20 programmers at it, it will only slow things down. These are 1-3 man team efforts by highly qualified developers. Every code monkey can write you a quick sort but can they write you a quick sort in ASM that uses only 64 kilobytes and sorts through gigabytes of data in seconds? You get the idea.

The hardest part for CIG will be to get a stable and fast network architecture up and running. Typical MMO network architecture is extremely complex.

1. Web facing Firewall and Proxy(s)
2. Load balancing servers that spread the traffic to available login servers.
3. Login and account servers with Account Database and Backup Account Database servers.
4. Dispatch servers that hand off clients to the area server manager depending on where the players are.
5. Area Server Manager that dispatches the clients to instances.
6. World, NPC and Item Database plus Backups.

That is just a broad overview and all of these have to be developed and optimized to work flawlessly together under high load. They need to be written from scratch since every game is different. You can of cause buy a solution but it will limit you in the long run.

This is as much of a Hardware as it is a Software challenge. Physically setting up those Servers is critical to the overall success. Using cloud solutions is doomed to be a failure unless you are making a simple browser game or similar simple software. You want hundreds of clients at the same time, you better get your hands dirty and set-up those servers in your own network centre.

I have worked as a C++ Tech optimizing source code for network servers, game engines and financial software and i can tell you that i don't see CIG as a company that will be able to deliver anything remotely stable and playable in terms of network performance. Given time, they might tackle it, we are talking 3-4 years here with multiple failed attempts and serious scaling back of the initial promises.

I think they will be out of money and belly up long before we even get to the whole network infrastructure problems.

I'll agree with some of this but some of it is pretty dated. "Cloud platforms" are far beyond capable in the year 2016. 1/2 are combined these days because a load balancer is much quicker at L7 to act as a firewall, proxy and load balancer. In extremely complex environments though these aren't even considered and you go straight to anycast but I've never seen a game server be that crazy.

Cloud services are more than capable to host "teh mmo" so long as you go with an actual platform and not jim's lovely openvz vm shop. Amazon as an example has everything you would need minus anycast. You can even get 10GBE links between instances if necessary. Plenty of platforms have and do use EC2 instances and Amazon even touched on it at GDC last year http://www.slideshare.net/nateware/gdc-2015-lowlatency-multiplayer-gaming-with-aws

Google's platform I'm not able to comment on due to agreements and no I'm not an Amazon shill but NDAs gonna NDA. Aside from Amazon the other major one I can comment on is Azure however it isn't as established at this point but slowly making strides.

The biggest problem with servers in general are developers. You can make the most banging infrastructure you want, decide to go totally in-house with a fiber-to-rack deployment of your own, ssds with 6 hex-core processors and 9000000 GB ram but the beefier hardware only hides bad code. ACTUAL distributed computing is a very hard concept for many to get as you have to deal with locking everywhere, how to replicate this data and how to also maintain consistency in a global scale when sending data across the US for example will give you ~85ms latency which in a database locking term is ages when most transactions will take 1ms or less.

Backups these days are pretty inconsequential in terms of setting up, there's a shitload of software that makes this easy along with full blown DR failover such as Zerto and Commvault.

I do agree however that CiG are hosed with their network setup and it's more than just trying to distribute their platform into something stable. They're taking a network stack that was developed specifically for local multiplayer and expecting it to scale massively. That's completely not possible and I have a feeling based off how they've described things Cryengine is extremely friendly about making GBS threads out a fuckload of XML data to clients. I'm hoping during free-flight to have some free time to take a poke at it myself but life gonna life. A way to compare at a lower level look at the hacks Lowtax has done to SA over the years to get it to survive a month. It's a message board that was meant for tiny little fan things and has now become this... thing.

And while I do not writ network stacks in C++ I have spent my life engineering globally scaled infrastructure for lots of companies ranging from porn to ads to youtube clones. Plenty have been in the Alexa top 500 at some point in their lives.

Tokyo Sexwale
Jul 30, 2003

grimcreaper posted:

i literally thought it was a joke... i had no idea. Woa eh dip deh wo ma woah mu hed.

I laugh uncontrollably every time this comes up.

Rainbow Knight
Apr 19, 2006

We die.
We pray.
To live.
We serve

hi i work for CIG.

Lime Tonics
Nov 7, 2015

by FactsAreUseless
Reading the wing commander movie script is like reading the star citizen one.

Both give me a headache.

Look at this riveting writing.

DEVERAUX
(too harsh)
Let me give you a Reality check -- in all likelihood, you're going to die out here -- we all are -- What none of us needs to be is reminded of that fact -- so, you die, you never existed. Understood?

BLAIR
Yes ma'am.

DEVERAUX
Good. Cause that's the only sensitivity training speech I can remember. Now move on.

grimcreaper
Jan 7, 2012

Jason Sextro posted:

I laugh uncontrollably every time this comes up.

I dont know whether to laugh or weep for the English language.



Langosta Paleface posted:

hi i work for CIG.

Your not Jason. Lol.

Tortolia
Dec 29, 2005

Hindustan Electronics Employee of the Month, July 2008
Grimey Drawer

VealCutlet posted:

More greyhounds please

spacetoaster
Feb 10, 2014

Turn up!!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=toxh4i3ZEqQ

Palisader
Mar 14, 2012

DESPAIR MORTALS, FOR I WISH TO PLAY PATTY-CAKE

Langosta Paleface posted:

hi i work for CIG.

Hey

Palisader
Mar 14, 2012

DESPAIR MORTALS, FOR I WISH TO PLAY PATTY-CAKE
U should probably ask for a raise

flyboi
Oct 13, 2005

agg stop posting
College Slice
Oh and a link I forgot - if you want to see the kind of hardware to run something on the fidelity scale multiply Eve's setup by 10

https://community.eveonline.com/news/dev-blogs/tranquility-tech-3/

ZenMaster
Jan 24, 2006

I Saved PC Gaming


Check and mate

Beet Wagon
Oct 19, 2015





Decrepus posted:

Thank god. A dog that isn't a Blue Eyes White Yuppie dog.

:roflolmao:

A Neurotic Jew
Feb 17, 2012

by exmarx

G0RF posted:

That's very flattering, truly -- disquieting a little bit too if true but I would hope even those who dislike or dismiss my writing would consider it fair to all parties involved. Even the few who obviously wouldn't will still find times in my writing where I've defended them against an unfair claim or uncorroborated rumor. I write what I wish I could read somewhere else and mourn that what is so obvious to so many here is known to so few.

The tragedy of this -- all of this -- is that something truly amazing was within reach at one time. And as obvious as it is from here, how much more painful must that be for all the people working at CIG who are NOT a Roberts? Or a "friend of Chris"? I know many here feel that empathetic sting because they've memories of working on that thing that could've but SO GREAT but for a few toxic people at the top. And many of them work there now.

What CIG has become it became through hubris and vanity, dishonesty and greed... It is easy to focus on the technical missteps, and they are myriad, and were dictated by the top. But for all the technical missteps like CryEngine, for all the operational missteps, like splitting it all into modules handled by teams all over the place and hoping to cobble it together into something grand, there are as many moral missteps-- and those are the ones which will hurt more than any other when the find accounting is done. People inside CIG, people who once were but were fired or left in frustration, have already started THAT accounting.

One day-- the things we remark upon in laughter or horror here, the story we've largely agreed upon-- the one that can't be told but must be told, WILL BE TOLD. It won't be a secret chuckled and sneered and lamented by goons, it won't be a story whispered about by frustrated and miserable employees struggling to make the best of a bad hand.

It will be settled history, carved in stone and erected over the remains of what could have been, and it will read "Here lies CIG. It was the only thing they were good at."


(sorry that turned into an unplanned effort post-- as you were folks. And thank you, EightAce, and anybody at CIG who visits this forums wondering why nobody understands what you are going through. We do, and it's wrong, and you deserve better than this.)

ZenMaster
Jan 24, 2006

I Saved PC Gaming

Can anyone tell me the origin of I am glad of it and the Betty big boobs references? Thanks in advance!

TTerrible
Jul 15, 2005

ZenMaster posted:

Can anyone tell me the origin of I am glad of it and the Betty big boobs references? Thanks in advance!

Betty Big Boobs was a troll account on reddit that convinced citizens to donate ships for her son. In a great surprise to everyone, it wasn't legit. We have no idea who this was.

I'm glad of it was something to do with Eonwes admirers that kept changing his avatar.

CHICKEN SHOES
Oct 4, 2002
Slippery Tilde

ZenMaster posted:

Can anyone tell me the origin of I am glad of it and the Betty big boobs references? Thanks in advance!

bettysbigtits was a "mom" who came on to reddit, maybe RSI, asking whales to buy pictures for her son. She offered pictures of her tits in exchange. People fell for it, ahhaha

i thought for sure it was tits anyhow

Rainbow Knight
Apr 19, 2006

We die.
We pray.
To live.
We serve

Palisader posted:

U should probably ask for a raise

i did what you suggested. now i live in a timeless void, feeding the essence of the best-saleswoman-in-the-world-since-the-day-of-the-first-conjuring with my eternally damned soul. i'm finally a part of the dream :unsmigghh:

VealCutlet
Dec 21, 2015

I am a marketing god, shave that shit

Well gently caress me

grimcreaper
Jan 7, 2012

G0RF posted:

That's very flattering, truly -- disquieting a little bit too if true but I would hope even those who dislike or dismiss my writing would consider it fair to all parties involved. Even the few who obviously wouldn't will still find times in my writing where I've defended them against an unfair claim or uncorroborated rumor. I write what I wish I could read somewhere else and mourn that what is so obvious to so many here is known to so few.

The tragedy of this -- all of this -- is that something truly amazing was within reach at one time. And as obvious as it is from here, how much more painful must that be for all the people working at CIG who are NOT a Roberts? Or a "friend of Chris"? I know many here feel that empathetic sting because they've memories of working on that thing that could've but SO GREAT but for a few toxic people at the top. And many of them work there now.

What CIG has become it became through hubris and vanity, dishonesty and greed... It is easy to focus on the technical missteps, and they are myriad, and were dictated by the top. But for all the technical missteps like CryEngine, for all the operational missteps, like splitting it all into modules handled by teams all over the place and hoping to cobble it together into something grand, there are as many moral missteps-- and those are the ones which will hurt more than any other when the find accounting is done. People inside CIG, people who once were but were fired or left in frustration, have already started THAT accounting.

One day-- the things we remark upon in laughter or horror here, the story we've largely agreed upon-- the one that can't be told but must be told, WILL BE TOLD. It won't be a secret chuckled and sneered and lamented by goons, it won't be a story whispered about by frustrated and miserable employees struggling to make the best of a bad hand.

It will be settled history, carved in stone and erected over the remains of what could have been, and it will read "Here lies CIG. It was the only thing they were good at."


(sorry that turned into an unplanned effort post-- as you were folks. And thank you, EightAce, and anybody at CIG who visits this forums wondering why nobody understands what you are going through. We do, and it's wrong, and you deserve better than this.)

If only we could get Gary Oldman to voice that. It would be glorious.

EminusSleepus
Sep 28, 2015

I missed the bonafide shills that are not CIG employees like

Ocotopode
Karl
Sarsapariller

and others..


guys come back Sherlock Smart will not doxx you anymore

VealCutlet
Dec 21, 2015

I am a marketing god, shave that shit

Yes!

B_of_InfoRedux
Oct 6, 2015

WANT A MELTDOWN? KEEP READING FROM YOUR MOTHERS BASEMENTS WHILE YOU BEAT YOUR TINY DICK SECRETLY THINKING OF SANDI YOU HYPOCRITICAL PIECES OF HUMAN GARBAGE.
In non SC related news, Dark Souls 3 is excellent so far.

VealCutlet
Dec 21, 2015

I am a marketing god, shave that shit
My contribution is one of my brothers greyhounds sleeping back when we still lived together:



E: He won a fair few races too, now he loving OWNS the couch.

Samizdata
May 14, 2007

Awwwwwright! Both our efforts (and those of CIG :downsa:) are bearing fruit.

Samizdata
May 14, 2007

Beet Wagon posted:

It's true. Everything down there is nightmare fuel



But, often delicious nightmare fuel...

big nipples big life
May 12, 2014

B_of_InfoRedux posted:

In non SC related news, Dark Souls 3 is excellent so far.

I wonder how many new players will rage quit forever at the first boss

Samizdata
May 14, 2007

Toops posted:

Yes. But CIG can't program a delta patcher anything worth a drat (unlike you), and they can't make a 3d object spin on one axis, so vOv

FTFY.

(And our video editors beat CIG like the proverbial redheaded stepchild too!)

Samizdata
May 14, 2007

Beet Wagon posted:

Derek, blue on blue, man.

Blue on blue is best blue.

G0RF
Mar 19, 2015

Some galactic defender you are, Space Cadet.
Meanwhile, in Elite....



David Braben posted:

"Our amazing team at Frontier is continuing to deliver on an incredibly ambitious vision for Elite Dangerous. There have been major Elite Dangerous deliveries every 2-3 months, with smaller point updates in between – a stunning total of 148 deliveries over the last 15 months. For The Engineers we decided to take a bit longer, to ensure what we deliver is great, but also to give us a chance to revisit many of the features in the game already. This is in addition to the great new features we have already hinted at, and of course more of the story, more on the ‘barnacles’ and their origins, more on aliens, and much, much more…

The Engineers are individuals that are mavericks in some way. Each has some sort of expertise from their pasts that they have made into a business – tuning all sorts of aspects of your ship to improve them. They do this using exotic and often hard-to-find components. Most Engineers are very secretive, working behind the scenes for the military or other shady organisations, and so you need an introduction, and need to find out how to find them. Missions can lead to introductions to Engineers, and some Engineers will introduce you to others, providing a more directed path for those that want that sort of approach. There is progression with each Engineer too, as you build up your relationship with them by doing missions and earning their trust.

I am delighted to announce The Engineers (Elite Dangerous 2.1) will be available to players with beta access in the week ending 8th May.

David Braben

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Samizdata
May 14, 2007

Been there, done that got the <achoo!>

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