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Commie NedFlanders posted:
I have no idea, some terrible one. I got made fun of for "stuffing my bra"
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May 8, 2016 15:12
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which book of the bible does that come from
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Jokes on me, I now have terrible back problems. Thanks, God. Maybe if I'd have gotten married then I'd be ok
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May 8, 2016 15:15
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Pvt.Scott posted:You can also use your religion as a tax shelter and money laundering machine! Well yeah but that goes without saying.
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May 8, 2016 15:32
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Thin Privilege posted:
I have no idea, some terrible one. I got made fun of for "stuffing my bra" [/quote] i'm sorry friend, my wifey was cursed with the boobage at a young age as well and i know it's not an easy burden. keep up the good fight 
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May 8, 2016 15:36
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What if someone only develops like A cup boobs? Is that a curse from Satan or something?
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May 8, 2016 15:37
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The Bible posted:If you're male and in charge, whatever you want to do is absolutely fine with God. ummm.....i don't think so Tim if you're male and in charge, everyone under your authority is blessed in following you, but the male must submit to the Lord God so if the whole family is acting foolish, following dad's lead, they are righteous for honoring their father, he's the one gonna get some tough love and discipline from God for not walking the righteous path. it's a responsibility, not a free pass to act a fool
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May 8, 2016 15:43
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it's like if you have a chaotic classroom with the kids acting stupid, principle skinner is gonna giving the  to the teacher, because the kids are just following his/her lead
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May 8, 2016 15:44
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I have boobs. Does that mean I'm a female for purposes of smoking Jesus?
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May 8, 2016 17:16
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no it means you are a mockery of gods perfect creation, hit the gym
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May 8, 2016 17:22
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I've seen commercials on TV where you can sue for gynecomastia, look into that.
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May 8, 2016 18:10
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In third grade I told a girl she wasn't actually a girl because she didn't have boobs. I hope she's forgotten because I still feel like an rear end in a top hat almost 20 years later. That's what all this talk made me think of.
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May 8, 2016 18:42
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Thin Privilege posted:
I have no idea, some terrible one. I got made fun of for "stuffing my bra" [/quote] Same thing happened to a friend of mine in fourth grade. She got in trouble when she became so tired of the teasing that she flashed a bunch of kids on the playground to prove them wrong.
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May 8, 2016 19:19
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ZDar Fan posted:
kids learning to neg so young these days
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May 8, 2016 19:23
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She should have chosen one of the kids first and beat them up, held them down and slapped them in the face with her tittays. You have to establish dominance to frighten potential snitches.
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May 8, 2016 20:42
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What do those people think of breast reduction surgery? A slap in God's face (or lack thereof if Chick is right)?
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May 8, 2016 20:44
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reduction is a crime against humanity
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May 8, 2016 20:46
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Commie NedFlanders posted:maybe ppl should stop trying to play liberal lawyer games with the letter of the law, and follow the spirit of the law. I think you forgot the "burn forever in Hell if you don't believe Jesus is God" part. Christian moderates usually do.
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May 9, 2016 00:04
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Commie NedFlanders posted:ummm.....i don't think so Tim Yet I can't help but notice how often what these leaders want also just happens to be exactly what God wants. Weird.
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May 9, 2016 00:05
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The Bible posted:I think you forgot the "burn forever in Hell if you don't believe Jesus is God" part. it's not a punishment it's an explanation ya goof
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May 9, 2016 00:07
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The Bible posted:Yet I can't help but notice how often what these leaders want also just happens to be exactly what God wants. Weird. uh that's called being a leader, beavis
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May 9, 2016 00:08
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just pray regularly and study the word diligently like you would physics or philosophy really dig in and get to know God and experience his presence and gain wisdom
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May 9, 2016 00:10
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Commie NedFlanders posted:just pray regularly and study the word diligently like you would physics or philosophy really dig in and get to know God and experience his presence and gain wisdom which word?
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May 9, 2016 00:10
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mdm posted:which word? i prefer the collection of inspired works known as the Bible but you don't necessary have to split hairs to get a new 'do
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May 9, 2016 00:12
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Tardigrade posted:What do those people think of breast reduction surgery? A slap in God's face (or lack thereof if Chick is right)? My insurance was going to cover it 100% until Obummercare came into play, now I can't afford it cause it's something like $20,000. So God has clearly spoken against it.
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May 9, 2016 00:24
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Commie NedFlanders posted:i prefer the collection of inspired works known as the Bible but you don't necessary have to split hairs to get a new 'do which bible? there are many bibles in the world, how am I supposed to know what your favorite book is  you're very presumptuous
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May 9, 2016 00:26
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mdm posted:which bible? there are many bibles in the world, how am I supposed to know what your favorite book is 
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May 9, 2016 00:37
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mdm posted:which bible? there are many bibles in the world, how am I supposed to know what your favorite book is i would just start one book at a time, alternate new testament and old testament each turn see how ya feel realtalk i mainly use a King James version study bible on my tablet with background historical information and maps and stuff my parents have some others, including a catholic bible and one side-be-side bible with english to greek translation i think it's really cool Commie NedFlanders fucked around with this message at 01:03 on May 9, 2016 |
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May 9, 2016 00:59
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The Bible posted:Yet I can't help but notice how often what these leaders want also just happens to be exactly what God wants. Weird. Wasn't there a show about The Real Pastors of Atlanta or something like that a few years ago? It was controversial because it showed they all have private jets and Mercedes while their churchgoers struggle to pay their electric bill? Or Prosperity Gospel just as a concept  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dHrVK2iOLXw
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May 9, 2016 01:01
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Commie NedFlanders posted:i would just start one book at a time, alternate new testament and old testament each turn see how ya feel wait, now you're talking about MULTIPLE books? I thought there was just one. Please speak English, this Latin isn't working out for you.
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May 9, 2016 01:02
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red19fire posted:Wasn't there a show about The Real Pastors of Atlanta or something like that a few years ago? It was controversial because it showed they all have private jets and Mercedes while their churchgoers struggle to pay their electric bill? i stick with humble poor pastors, my uncle's been one for years and my respect for him is titanic
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May 9, 2016 01:04
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Thought more happened in thread, turns out to be weak role player talking to themself
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May 9, 2016 01:06
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Oh commie Ned I thought he was here to abloo bloo about the Jenkins family getting pozzed in prison
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May 9, 2016 01:13
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Alan Smithee posted:Oh commie Ned I thought he was here to abloo bloo about the Jenkins family getting pozzed in prison all prisoners deserve human treatment 
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May 9, 2016 01:22
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Commie NedFlanders posted:all prisoners deserve human treatment True. King James Version is shameful for anything, though. Politically motivated translation more interested in sounding important than getting the message on point. E: I exclusively use mesoamerican runes carved on human knucklebones as a randomizer for a biblical Markov chain to generate my holy texts. Pvt.Scott fucked around with this message at 01:45 on May 9, 2016 |
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May 9, 2016 01:42
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Pvt.Scott posted:True. when the original message is the incoherent ramblings of schizophrenics over the ages I don't think it matters too much tbh
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May 9, 2016 01:44
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mdm posted:when the original message is the incoherent ramblings of schizophrenics over the ages I don't think it matters too much tbh Look, only some of it is crazy ramblings. A lot of it is the typical myths and legends of a tribal people, some aphorisms and wise sayings, records of secular laws and some bits that are just straight up some dude writing a work log about who showed up to build a wall. Yeah, there's some kickin rad visions in there, but the prophecies are all fulfilled soon after they're made and the really weird stuff is still just dreams, metaphors or symbolism, a lot of which is hard to tell because the ancient language a good chunk of the book is full of is stuffed with confusing idioms and poo poo. The "new testament" is really just a hippy "let's take it aaaaallllll as allegory," treatment of the old that spawned a bit of a messiah fad. One of those took off, but didn't get very far. It took the concerted effort of a man known both as Saul and Paul, a dual Jewish/Roman citizen, to take the tiny Jew cult and bring it to the uncircumcised masses. That's why a good chunk of the back half of the book is Paul telling everyone they're doing it wrong. It was his baby, drat it! Bringing a purposefully lovely translation to a fascinating but already confusing mess is just not cool.
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May 9, 2016 01:57
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Pvt.Scott posted:True. i'm not sure which translation would best communicate the spirit of the word to my soul, perhaps this is something for me to pray about.
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May 9, 2016 01:59
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Pvt.Scott posted:Look, only some of it is crazy ramblings. A lot of it is the typical myths and legends of a tribal people, some aphorisms and wise sayings, records of secular laws and some bits that are just straight up some dude writing a work log about who showed up to build a wall. Yeah, there's some kickin rad visions in there, but the prophecies are all fulfilled soon after they're made and the really weird stuff is still just dreams, metaphors or symbolism, a lot of which is hard to tell because the ancient language a good chunk of the book is full of is stuffed with confusing idioms and poo poo. i want to read more of your posts on this topic 
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May 9, 2016 02:01
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Commie NedFlanders posted:i'm not sure which translation would best communicate the spirit of the word to my soul, perhaps this is something for me to pray about. Nah, it's cool Ned. As long as you love the sinner and are down with the JC, the details don't matter too much. I'm just whining because I'm a nerd.
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May 9, 2016 02:02
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Commie NedFlanders posted:i want to read more of your posts on this topic A lot of my opinion is uneducated and scrabbled from half-remembered sources, I won't lie about that. For me, the important thing to remember is that living breathing humans wrote this stuff down. Quite often they had an agenda, even if an entirely innocent one like in Song/Psalm of Solomon/Songs/Psalms. Dude was writing a high brow poem about how nice his woman's titties and rear end were. When something bad happens, like a drought or whatever, and the tribe finds out later that some guy murdered his brother, they note that down as the tribe being punished for allowing wickedness to flourish. The local Levites can put the social squeeze on a whole community that way, for good or ill.
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May 9, 2016 02:10
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