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Cool chapter in which nothing happens
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May 11, 2016 10:20
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jsoh posted:Cool chapter in which nothing happens Dorne.txt As far as I can tell there's only one Arianne chapter that could be said to have things happening in it.
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May 11, 2016 10:22
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Dangerllama posted:All the show talk and no one else is annoyed that Jon peaced out from Castle Black with nothing but a shirt and skinny jeans? His watch is ended. He's only going as far as the brothel in town.
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May 11, 2016 10:47
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jsoh posted:Cool chapter in which nothing happens And it is actually a chapter that he has read before. Still no new chapters.
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May 11, 2016 12:41
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nobody gives a poo poo about wild cards you fat turd.
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May 11, 2016 13:30
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This chapter felt like knock-off Lord of the Rings. Describing nature with a checklist but not actually caring about it. Disappointing.
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May 11, 2016 13:49
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Groovelord Neato posted:nobody gives a poo poo about wild cards you fat turd. Or Dorne. Thanks for giving us a chapter I might skip over when the book comes out. Just what I wanted.
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May 11, 2016 14:09
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Cavelcade posted:This chapter felt like knock-off Lord of the Rings. Describing nature with a checklist but not actually caring about it. Disappointing. This kind of thing is irresistible to him. There is a place on the map that no one has gone. There has not been a description of the land. There has not been a description of the heraldry. No names of the ruling families. No chance to introduce new characters and mystery. That's all he wants to do at this point because making all the other places and people and things come together to make a coherent story is too hard.
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May 11, 2016 14:15
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I liked the chapter overall, although it wasn't great. I enjoyed the exploration of the terrain, I enjoyed the sense of being on a spy mission, I found it an interesting look at the golden company, I liked the cavern exploration (actually wish there was a bit more of consequence there). In terms of moving the story along, we hear about an army from King's Landing coming to meet (f)Aegon, that's something. I didn't like the bit where the young sand snake was fooling around with Feather, felt a bit easy and cheap. Some of the writing felt a bit easy overall. I'd give it a C+. It's not -that- bad people.
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May 11, 2016 15:14
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CountFosco posted:I liked the chapter overall, although it wasn't great. I enjoyed the exploration of the terrain, I enjoyed the sense of being on a spy mission, I found it an interesting look at the golden company, I liked the cavern exploration (actually wish there was a bit more of consequence there). In terms of moving the story along, we hear about an army from King's Landing coming to meet (f)Aegon, that's something. I didn't like the bit where the young sand snake was fooling around with Feather, felt a bit easy and cheap. Some of the writing felt a bit easy overall. I'd give it a C+. It's not -that- bad people. A C+ isn't awful, but I don't want to read a C+ story and the way this chapter was written doesn't make me optimistic. There's no need for so much of it, and even worse than that, it's boring. It should just have started in the castle or with them meeting Mudd and Chain. .
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May 11, 2016 15:30
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CountFosco posted:I liked the chapter overall, although it wasn't great. I enjoyed the exploration of the terrain, I enjoyed the sense of being on a spy mission, I found it an interesting look at the golden company, I liked the cavern exploration (actually wish there was a bit more of consequence there). In terms of moving the story along, we hear about an army from King's Landing coming to meet (f)Aegon, that's something. I didn't like the bit where the young sand snake was fooling around with Feather, felt a bit easy and cheap. Some of the writing felt a bit easy overall. I'd give it a C+. It's not -that- bad people. It kind of explains how Bran and Bloodraven can see in the south. There's caves full of their bullshit below everything even though the weirwoods themselves were cut down.
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May 11, 2016 15:39
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It mentions there are wild weirwoods too but presumably they need a face for the old gods to act through them
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May 11, 2016 15:45
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CountFosco posted:I liked the cavern exploration (actually wish there was a bit more of consequence there). GURM rolled for encounter and came up empty.
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May 11, 2016 16:31
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The show has killed my capacity to keep track of or care about minor houses and random bullshit. So I can't follow all these minor Dornish lords, or their bastards, or the geography of the Stormlands or whatever, its just, I can't muster enough to care about it anymore.
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May 11, 2016 17:13
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Mike N Eich posted:The show has killed my capacity to keep track of or care about minor houses and random bullshit. So I can't follow all these minor Dornish lords, or their bastards, or the geography of the Stormlands or whatever, its just, I can't muster enough to care about it anymore. Watch a few Preston Jacobs videos. Random bullshit and minor houses is literally how he makes his living.
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May 11, 2016 17:19
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is...
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May 11, 2016 18:10
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Always a good sign when an author talks about a series he hasn't written a full book for in over a decade as an annoying burden
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May 11, 2016 18:11
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It's not like he can't go the Tom Clancy route and just get a ghostwriter.
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May 11, 2016 18:15
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poo poo, I was in the middle of reading the new chapter when my browser crashed, and now the site won't reload. Anyone care to copy/paste?
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May 11, 2016 18:22
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ruddiger posted:poo poo, I was in the middle of reading the new chapter when my browser crashed, and now the site won't reload. Anyone care to copy/paste? He didn't remember being captured. Jaimie struggled against his bonds but found the act fruitless. He was surprised to find that he still had his golden hand on. How did they capture him? He saw his men lying on the ground, dead or dying. His squire Peck was tied to a tree and Sir Payne was tied to his horse. Why kill everyone and us these three? The men who now had control of his camp were everywhere. They wore bright yellow armor and had a signet of a dragon rapped around a tree. Odd. He had never seen armor like this before. What was going on? Jaimie saw the smallest man walking towards him. At first, for half a second, he believed it too be Tyrion but this man was unbelievably shorter than Tryion he was. His body was covered in the same strange yellow armor and helmet but with a red strip across his chest. "Hmm hehehe. Kinslayer!" The short yellow man said. "Do I know you?" "Oh brotha, don't tell me you've forgotten me already?" Startled, Jaime gasped. "Impossible. You're supposed to be dead!" He whispered hoarsely. "MMmm hmhmhmhmmmm! I'm a lot harder to kill." The yellow man lifted off his helmet and revealed a face he hadn't seen in 15 years. "Winnie the Pooh!" Jaime said disbelieving. "My father destroyed your house 15 years ago." A pink armored man came up beside Pooh. He could only be none other than Sir Piglet. "Oh D-d-d-dear-dear! You shut your mouth Kinslayer! The 100 Acre Wood lives on in the hearts of those who still remember!" "Your house is dead and the memories as well. All I see is a bunch of broken animals." "Bastard!" Piglet pulled out his sword. "No Piglet. Death is too easy. I want to savor my revenge. I'll have my revenge! Tigger, bend him over!" "That's what tiggers do best!" "Afraid of me even now Pooh? Why don't you fight me, single combat? Too cowardly to fight a cripple?" "No..." Pooh pulled down his breeches. His magnificent golden penis stood in the air like a golden statue. It made his golden hand look like dull copper. "I prefer to make you suffer!" Jaimie's breeches were pulled off. "You bastard..." "You'll enjoy this as much as I will." He remembered what he had told Brienne that day. When it happened, you had to go inside yourself. Endure. All thoughts left his mind when Winnie the Pooh shoved his ten inch penis inside Jaimie Lannister's rear end. Jaimie screamed louder than he had when his hand was cut off. In some ways, this was far, far worse. Winnie the Pooh was loving him in the rear end! And too his shame, this was also far, far better than times with Cersei. Winnie the Pooh pumped Jaimie from behind like a wild animal. It was both horrible pain and addictive pleasure. He didn't know whether he was moaning from his tearing rear end or the pulsing pleasure. Out of no where, Kylaer, Dendra, and Bummey walked in the clearing. They saw Jaimie Lannister, looked at each other in confusion, than backed away slowly into the unknown. Jaimie gasped. The pressure from his rear end was gone. He was already missing the pleasure. He had time long enough to see Sir Payne getting raped from behind by Piglet before his line of vision was cut off by Winnie the Pooh's massive member. "You moan too much..." Before Jaimie had time to reply, his mouth was penetrated. He resisted at first, but found himself not resisting hard. It was so wrong, but felt so, so right. It was over fast. He felt Pooh shudder and release his seed in Jaimie's mouth. "*cough* Dear god... it... *cough* taste like honey." It was the most wonderful taste he had ever tasted. "Kinslayer... you are now my wife." Pooh announced. "Yes..." Jaimie wheezed and swallowed. "You are going to live a long time Kinslayer." Winnie the Pooh shuddered. "Only you remember my true identity. Only you remember my real name." "Winnie the Pooh..." Jaimie said slowly. "Targaryen!"
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May 11, 2016 18:36
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ruddiger posted:poo poo, I was in the middle of reading the new chapter when my browser crashed, and now the site won't reload. Anyone care to copy/paste? edit: lol, snipered by Hogge Wild. Woodpile fucked around with this message at 18:41 on May 11, 2016 |
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May 11, 2016 18:39
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It talked about Rape and had food descriptions.. what else did you want?
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May 11, 2016 19:55
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jsoh posted:It mentions there are wild weirwoods too but presumably they need a face for the old gods to act through them I don't think they need faces for someone to see through them. I think the faces were carved later as a bit of a warning or reminder "hey, if you're near this tree, someone is watching you." I'd have to go back and look, but I don't think the children of the forest carved the faces, it was men, wasn't it? Which means that the faces aren't really necessary.
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May 11, 2016 20:21
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Mnemosyne posted:I don't think they need faces for someone to see through them. I think the faces were carved later as a bit of a warning or reminder "hey, if you're near this tree, someone is watching you." ice and fire wiki says it's the children who carve them quote:Legends say the children of the forest were gifted with supernatural powers and magic; having power over the beasts of the wood, the ability to wear an animal’s skin, the skill to create music so beautiful as to bring tears to the eyes of any who heard it, the greensight ability (although maesters believe that the greensight was not magic, simply another kind of knowledge) and the ability to speak to the dead.[10] It was the children who carved the faces on the weirwoods to keep watch over the woods.[11] They believe that their wisdom had something to do with the faces in the trees.[11] The children of the forest believed that the weirwood trees were gods, and when they died they became a part of them.[2]
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May 11, 2016 20:33
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Dangerllama posted:All the show talk and no one else is annoyed that Jon peaced out from Castle Black with nothing but a shirt and skinny jeans? He also came back to life with gaping wounds that weren't bleeding. Sure a bunch of this stuff can be chalked up to bad writers but there's also plenty of speculation that a side-effect of his revival is that the magic keeps him from getting cold, similar to Melissandre's ability. davecrazy posted:It's not like he can't go the Tom Clancy route and just get a ghostwriter. He's too much of a self-absorbed rear end in a top hat to do that though. Or he'd pick someone even worse than him. Imagine if he handed the series to Patrick Rothfuss. The guy is even actively not giving a gently caress about his next book too.
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May 11, 2016 20:36
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Evil Fluffy posted:He also came back to life with gaping wounds that weren't bleeding. Sure a bunch of this stuff can be chalked up to bad writers but there's also plenty of speculation that a side-effect of his revival is that the magic keeps him from getting cold, similar to Melissandre's ability. I assumed that as well.
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May 11, 2016 21:28
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I watched the ToJ scene on youtube, and I think it's supposed to be the Sword of the Morning and Ice. Look, it has a sun on it  Looks kinda like Ice from season one, except shorter, and thinner, and duller  edit: It's the same version of Ice they used in the promo pictures  edit2: The swords name is Dawn. I haven't read the book it was last mentioned in since 2003 Anders fucked around with this message at 22:23 on May 11, 2016 |
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May 11, 2016 21:40
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The sword of the morning and the sword of the time when you're hungry but it's still a bit too early for lunch.
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May 11, 2016 21:48
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Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:The sword of the morning and the sword of the time when you're hungry but it's still a bit too early for lunch. The Sword of Brunch
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May 11, 2016 23:06
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Sword of the 9 o' clock coffee break
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May 11, 2016 23:12
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I love it how he publishes a chapter for the first time in a year which is the same chapter he read out loud a year ago and his main concern is that people will somehow assume that he has finished the books rather than that he has not written anything in well over a year.
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May 11, 2016 23:16
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I like Preston Jacobs, I really do, but I fear he's not yet realised his precious book version, so superior to the show, will never exist. He will learn.
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May 11, 2016 23:44
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Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:The sword of the morning and the sword of the time when you're hungry but it's still a bit too early for lunch. The Sword of Second Breakfast Now Available At Denny's
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May 12, 2016 00:09
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spoilers for the rest of the season were just posted and although they obviously veer in a different direction than the booka there are some things of note such as the origin of the Others......which is hilarious
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May 12, 2016 02:00
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Lol its dumb enough I believe it.
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May 12, 2016 02:21
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I hate myself, so... link?
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May 12, 2016 02:29
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yeah, link, plz
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May 12, 2016 02:41
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http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?goto=post&postid=459764179#post459764179
TommyGun85 fucked around with this message at 02:55 on May 12, 2016 |
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May 12, 2016 02:51
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lol Reddit posted:Intro
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May 12, 2016 03:21
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| # ? Apr 29, 2024 11:44 |
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TommyGun85 posted:http://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?goto=post&postid=459764179#post459764179 This is just stupid enough to be true.
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May 12, 2016 03:25
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