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DrBouvenstein
Feb 28, 2007

I think I'm a doctor, but that doesn't make me a doctor. This fancy avatar does.

In a twist of...irony? Coincidence? Weird Al actually directed the Mmmbop music video.

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I. M. Gei
Jun 26, 2005

CHIEFS

BITCH




value-brand cereal
May 2, 2008

du -hast posted:

I guess this is the place to ask: there's a giant cat thing in Russia, like the size of a golden retriever. It looks like basically a really big housecat. IIRC they are not domesticated tho. What is it called?

value-brand cereal
May 2, 2008

More!

whiteyfats posted:

Getting off on some dude banging your ol' lady is such a weird fetish. I don't get it.

Somfin posted:

Humiliation kink plus porn addiction. Mix in low self esteem and blammo, it's more fun for you if someone "better" is doing the loving. I don't get it, but I can almost understand it.

Baller Time posted:

So it's just like watching cooking shows on TV?

Comrade Koba posted:

That, but you have to do their dishes afterwards.

Also:

whiteyfats posted:

Getting off on some dude banging your ol' lady is such a weird fetish. I don't get it.

Pope Corky the IX posted:

Ask your father about it.

Aramoro posted:

How will he know which one that is?

Pope Corky the IX posted:

He'll yell "Daddy!" and pay attention to who looks most disappointed.

And:

blarzgh posted:

The A/U/G thread: idolizing only the popular mental illnesses since 2015.

TontoCorazon posted:

I'm all about that depression.

Ularg posted:

I knew I had fans.

Hogge Wild
Aug 21, 2012

by FactsAreUseless
Pillbug
can someone link the "fingerbang that turd" post

free basket of chips
Sep 7, 2012

by FactsAreUseless

criscodisco posted:

No one wants to think about a 200 pound Sailor Moon taking a huge sweaty period dump.

some plague rats
Jun 5, 2012

by Fluffdaddy

Sudo Echo posted:

more great hits from noted pedo defender "Data Graham"


There's a link here, I just can't quite put my finger on it.

Haha the dude wrote a post where he got so autistic about a children's cartoon that he got probated for it in a thread about Steven Universe

That's like getting thrown out of the KKK for being too racist

U.T. Raptor
May 11, 2010

Are you a pack of imbeciles!?

Chantilly Say posted:

Matt Walsh, Professional Pedant about definitions of "girl" and "boy"

God, he's like Christian Fishmech

InequalityGodzilla posted:

So a Jesus Fishmech?

Snooze Cruise
Feb 16, 2013

hey look,
a post
heh, at first i thought they were talking about the comedian actor/improviser!

atomicthumbs
Dec 26, 2010


We're in the business of extending man's senses.

Crane Fist posted:

Haha the dude wrote a post where he got so autistic about a children's cartoon that he got probated for it in a thread about Steven Universe

That's like getting thrown out of the KKK for being too racist

Why haven't the Steven universe people been kicked out and made to mingle with the bronies

Nanomashoes
Aug 18, 2012

They buy avatars. Lowtax is makin' the big bux.

Karate Bastard
Jul 31, 2007

Soiled Meat
We need to keep track of these people. Someone should give them all star trek next generation avs so people can know who they be dealing with.

Mods?

Inexplicable Humblebrag
Sep 20, 2003


yes give them star trek avatars too

Pick
Jul 19, 2009
Nap Ghost

Hogge Wild posted:

can someone link the "fingerbang that turd" post

Obeah posted:

When I was working as a graphic designer for PAWS Inc. (SE Asian Market) in Muncie, Indiana, I got stuck in what I can only describe as a triplex apartment between a group of BSU students and an elderly, mentally handicapped man who would tell us all about how he was the last person in his assistance program to still have a helper monkey. Apparently they've mostly been phased out or something?

Anyway, the kids who lived next to me in the triplex were obsessed with seeing this grandfathered capuchin and seemed to be split 50-50 on believing it even existed. I'd been there six months, the students almost a year, and none of us had seen or heard this thing in person. Kenneth - the old man - would stand on his end of the house and "water the grass", which really just amounted to chain smoking and hosing his corner of the lawn down. Anytime any of us went outside while he was doing this, he'd yell conversation to us. "Esquire (the monkey) turned off the TV during Final Jeopardy last night. I got so mad..." and "I caught Esquire eating out of the trash again. Such a pain in my rear end." It was nonstop during the summer months.

So at the end of August, I was helping Kenneth with some legitimate yard work. He asked me if I wanted to come over for dinner, and even though Esquire did not come up in the invitation at all, he was my first thought. A chance to confirm this creature's existence. I jumped at the opportunity.

So that night, I have the worst meal of my life. Reheated spaghetti eaten out of Tupperware. No conversation. Just the sounds of us eating. Feeling weirdly nauseous and wanting to go home, I asked Kenneth where Esquire was.

"In my bedroom. He was acting up earlier. and I didn't want him bothering you during supper."

I should have accepted this, but I pressed on, saying I was full and just wanted to meet him before going home. At this point, Kenneth stood up, walked to his bedroom, slammed the door shut, and was in there for maybe five minutes or so. I was about to leave when he came out.

"He's about to bedtime out, but you can see him before you leave."

Here's my memory of that encounter, as filtered through my PTSD (semi-serious here - I could get diagnosed for sure):

Sock monkey sitting in a wicker chair next to a bed. Withered Cracker Barrel price tag still hanging off. White areas of the monkey stained with nicotine. A hole cut in between the legs. Kenneth behind me. The sinking feeling as I realize his hard cock (still in pants, though) is pressed against my back. I forget the exact words, but he did ask me to touch Esquire, so I half heartedly petted it and he slapped the back of my head. Whispered to me "F-fingerblast this little turd." That part I remember perfectly. And I did.

I won't dwell on the rest of the encounter. Suffice to say that it was a bad night for me, and finishing out that lease was hell. I don't regret anything but accepting the dinner invitation. Had I not become finger intimate with Esquire, he very well could have stabbed me. He'd been collecting knives since Vietnam. I noticed several pocket knives on a drawer in the bedroom alone. This was a scary dude, and it's hard to blame myself for it. But anyway, I ended up getting let go from my dream job right before the end of the lease, so obviously I didn't stick around for long.

All of this is just a roundabout way of saying that you should really, really be careful around this neighbor of yours. What seems and reads as funny on SA or to your friends can be a life threatening, terrifying experience irl.

MariusLecter
Sep 5, 2009

NI MUERTE NI MIEDO

SedanChair posted:

Killing murderers is granting them a final moral victory. "Yes, this is how problems get solved, murderer. But I, the state, am the ultimate murderer and am bigger than you."

Hemingway To Go!
Nov 10, 2008

im stupider then dog shit, i dont give a shit, and i dont give a fuck, and i will never shut the fuck up, and i'll always Respect my enemys.
- ernest hemingway

FactsAreUseless posted:

They have an entire section of the website for user-submitted stories about making GBS threads yourself, and it's a different part of the website from the section where people talk about farting so hard they poo poo themselves.

TehRedWheelbarrow
Mar 16, 2011



Fan of Britches

gaddamn hero you are.

Carthag Tuek
Oct 15, 2005

Tider skal komme,
tider skal henrulle,
slægt skal følge slægters gang




Is this about GBS? Why is it written like it's some offsite forum?

hackbunny
Jul 22, 2007

I haven't been on SA for years but the person who gave me my previous av as a joke felt guilty for doing so and decided to get me a non-shitty av

Sudo Echo posted:

more great hits from noted pedo defender "Data Graham"


There's a link here, I just can't quite put my finger on it.

I think there's a kind of pedophile who doesn't see anything wrong with being a pedophile because, deep down, they kinda are kids, hence the obsession with cartoons, toys and other childish things. I wish TV networks didn't pander so much to them, I mean of course adult children are more profitable than actual children, but god drat it gets disgusting. Then again the show creators themselves may be that kind of pedophile too :shrug:

Carthag Tuek
Oct 15, 2005

Tider skal komme,
tider skal henrulle,
slægt skal følge slægters gang



hackbunny posted:

I think there's a kind of pedophile who doesn't see anything wrong with being a pedophile because, deep down, they kinda are kids, hence the obsession with cartoons, toys and other childish things. I wish TV networks didn't pander so much to them, I mean of course adult children are more profitable than actual children, but god drat it gets disgusting. Then again the show creators themselves may be that kind of pedophile too :shrug:

Very young girls are sexualised, also boys too. Discussing it on the internet is a bad idea though, at least in the quotes thread. It's possibly a good topic for a sepearate thread imho

graybook
Oct 10, 2011

pinya~
something something fbi about this post

Carthag Tuek
Oct 15, 2005

Tider skal komme,
tider skal henrulle,
slægt skal følge slægters gang



Hah hah

But seriously it's gross how children have become sexualised.

oldpainless
Oct 30, 2009

This 📆 post brought to you by RAID💥: SHADOW LEGENDS👥.
RAID💥: SHADOW LEGENDS 👥 - It's for your phone📲TM™ #ad📢

Snapchat A Titty posted:

Very young girls sexualised, also boys It's a good topic for a thread

Carthag Tuek
Oct 15, 2005

Tider skal komme,
tider skal henrulle,
slægt skal følge slægters gang



:|

Bobby Digital
Sep 4, 2009

Snapchat A Titty posted:

It's possibly a good topic for a sepearate thread imho

https://forums.somethingawful.com/showthread.php?threadid=3576140&perpage=40

Carthag Tuek
Oct 15, 2005

Tider skal komme,
tider skal henrulle,
slægt skal følge slægters gang




lmao

Malachite_Dragon
Mar 31, 2010

Weaving Merry Christmas magic
Man, we didn't even make it a hundred pages this time.

blunt for century
Jul 4, 2008

I've got a bone to pick.

Hogge Wild
Aug 21, 2012

by FactsAreUseless
Pillbug

:tipshat:

it's so drat good

Chichevache
Feb 17, 2010

One of the funniest posters in GIP.

Just not intentionally.

fishmech posted:

Saw this going around:

what your favorite ancient roman says about you

caesar: you’re really into the military and political reform, or you just like the ablative absolute a little too much

antony: you are an actual human disaster

augustus: either you’re really artsy and love the roman aesthetic or the propaganda got to you

catullus: it’s impossible to tell what’s more of a mess, your love life or your maturity level

nero: you have some seriously bad taste

cato the elder: you are a cabbage farmer, or you just really, really hate carthage

cicero: you are too salty for your own good sometimes

vergil: you are either a gentle forest spirit or a rabid imperialist, no in-between

horace: you just wanna chill and have a nice drink, or you just really, really hate trees

hadrian: you should probably try studying ancient greece instead

julian the apostate: you read decline and fall of the roman empire and were all like hmm this reasoning for why the empire fell definitely still checks out. you have a vintage aesthetic tumblr and wonder if you were born in the wrong century

cincinnatus: the only thing you like more than saving the republic is farming. the only thing you like more than farming is farming in the nude

ovid: you got rich doing transformation commissions on furaffinity

sejanus: ok i don’t think there’s a single person whose actual favorite roman is sejanus but is it just me or was patrick stewart super hot as sejanus in i, claudius?????? i mean for real

aurelian: you listened to mike duncan’s the history of rome podcast and were convinced of aurelian’s high Value Over Replacement Emperor stat

diocletian: you try to micromanage every aspect of your life in order to fix the problems you see all around you and think that if everyone just did their job everything would work out. but nobody else gets it and you just watch while everything falls apart anyway

sulla: you’re like the diocletian person except you died before everything fell apart again so you’re smugger about it

marius: you know a lot about roman military history. you mention individually numbered legions in casual conversation as if that will mean anything to anyone ever. you saw a portrayal of republican roman soldiers in the iconic lorica segmentata of later rome and cried

trebonianus gallus: you’ve been to the met and seen that hilarious statue of him in “heroic nudity”

pliny the elder: your hobbies include natural history and being killed by a volcano

incitatus: you are a horse

julius nepos: you instinctively pick sides in arbitrary historical disputes and then fight to the death for them. you know the name of the current pretender to every abolished monarchy in europe. when somebody says the roman empire fell in 476 you go, “um, actually”, but in a way even more annoying than byzantine enthusiasts

justinian, alexios komnenos, [insert byzantine here]: ha ha, very clever

Chichevache posted:

What if my favorite is any of the three Flavians?

Deteriorata posted:

Three Flavians makes you Neapolitan.

Carthag Tuek
Oct 15, 2005

Tider skal komme,
tider skal henrulle,
slægt skal følge slægters gang




https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=s-qdBmaYk0o

I. M. Gei
Jun 26, 2005

CHIEFS

BITCH



What if my favorite is Caligula?

HoAssHo
Mar 10, 2005

:love::love::love:
I was thinking the same thing. Scanned for Caligula, didn't see it, thought what the gently caress.

Ride The Gravitron
May 2, 2008

by FactsAreUseless

Lizard Wizard posted:


Nobody explain this to me, ever.



davidspackage posted:

*looks at watch* oh no... it's 4:20! Grrr... grrrraAAAWWWWR

FactsAreUseless
Feb 16, 2011

Snapchat A Titty posted:

Is this about GBS? Why is it written like it's some offsite forum?
Because it's about a completely different website. I have no idea why it was quoted with zero context.

Zamboni Rodeo
Jul 19, 2007

NEVER play "Lady of Spain" AGAIN!




Avshalom posted:

like a loving nude slenderman with a snake face idk i spent most of that summer sitting naked in front of a fan and walking a labrador with behavioural difficulties who once ate a whole 750gram bag of uncooked almonds and got wild diarrhoea so every five seconds she'd squat and this stream of undigested whole almonds would go pop-pop-pop-pop-pop out of her rear end in a top hat like a machine gun. anyway that was what i was dealing with and that's how i forgot that you could draw an anthropomorphic toaster with red-hot slots and someone on the internet will still want to have sex with it

Ride The Gravitron
May 2, 2008

by FactsAreUseless

Screaming Idiot posted:


Though I know I should be wary
Still I jones for something hairy
Dankest howlings I turn loose
Weed wolf, weed wolf, WEED WOLF!

china bot
Sep 7, 2014

you listen HERE pal
SAY GOODBYE TO TELEPHONE SEX
Plaster Town Cop

Zzulu posted:

fetishism has always been around but with the internet you can slake your urges nowadays and then you're gonna need stronger stuff ya know, more powerful, weirder poo poo to get you goin ya know, and it's a slippery slope, you start out jerking to some weird girl in a uniform and then next ya know you're getting off to watching blurry videos from ukraine where 3 clowns are farting on a horse while the russians are bombing a village in the background

The MSJ
May 17, 2010

From the Batman v Superman/ Man of Steel thread.

Judakel posted:

In reference to arguing from ignorance, you PM'd me:



It is an informal fallacy. My point is that you're not taking Willy's posts in good faith and you do this often. All bitterness aside, he makes good points.

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

MacheteZombie posted:

Can't you see how fu
He could be making
, however given the

Terrorist Fistbump posted:

He did the right thing, and you did the wrong thing by publicly continuing this conversation that no one else wants to read!

ungulateman posted:

[Ferrinus looks on in horror]

If you destroy this conversation, you destroy Something Awful!

[Judakel stares at the private messaging features]

Something Awful had its chance!

[Shittily crops a PM with his heat vision, destroying the forums]

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I Love Annie May
Oct 10, 2012

Antti posted:

Is this a Loss reference? In 2016?

Neddy Seagoon posted:

The baby died, but the joke is alive and healthy.

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