Star Citizen: Big MoMA's House

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > The Goodmine > Star Citizen: Big MoMA's House

Theotus: Nov 8, 2014

My Grandpa didn't fight in WWII, but he did sneak into the national guard when he was under age. Never really asked him about it and we're a bit estranged now. Happy Memorial Day or whatever.

Catte synpe.

# ? Jun 1, 2016 02:51

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Apr 27, 2024 20:32

D_Smart: May 11, 2010; by FactsAreUseless; College Slice

Breetai posted:

Right back at the beginning of Derek's current clash with SC, people on the forum noticed that he appeared to have the right of it when discussing exactly what the trajectory of the game was, and then about the time when he started making noises in a way that actually got some people to get refunds from CIG, someone noticed that his account from waaaay back in the day was still in operation. He was essentially initially invited to post here for shits and giggles because the prevailing take on the matter was it was deeply funny that one failed developer was taking potshots at another developer who was failing decades later in exactly the same way. Initially it was kinda rocky because Derek hadn't quite grasped the zen of justposting on the SA forums, and he even hosed off in a huff for a while after some personality clashes, but he kept coming back, and a lot of the info he was dropping was clearly accurate and definitely from internal sources.

Basically what started off as an uneasy truce because we had a common target to laugh at has evolved into... I dunno. A grudging respect, maybe? Recognition that while his games are not hugely successful by any objective measure, that here's a guy who at least obsessively cares about the things that he's trying to do with his games rather than just being a shyster rip-off merchant? I mean, Derek's still a blowhard and an internet warlord and all of that, but he's either mellowed a lot since his early days and gotten to the point where he can take some good-natured ribbing in his stride, or he's sufficiently obsessed with shitizens that he lets the occasional barb from us slide. That plus he's occasionally really, really loving funny and releases some gold information now and then (though you do kinda need to sift through all of the 'two weeks' and 'here's the big reveal on my blog that reiterates poo poo you already know about').

Don't mistake him being a mod for any kind of special thing, tho; I'm fairly sure that part of it is that he was made mod just so no-one else would have to deal with the Star Citizen shitpile, though it's also fair enough that he's mod of this subforum because he has brought a fair amount of laughs, traffic, and notoriety to this dead gay comedy forum. Regardless of what shitizens and Reddit think, we're not like his little army of minions or anything, but we are naturally attracted to the potential for schadenfreude, and he's the guy with the claim to a rich seam of it.

I don't know if he'll even keep posting here once the Star Citizen fiasco is over, but I've personally liked having him around because at the end of the day he's an unusual guy with an interesting take on certain things, and he's certainly made the forums livelier. Plus the fact that we've managed to bury the hatchet with him is fairly amazing.

*sniff* *sniff* That was touching. And beautiful. And everything.

# ? Jun 1, 2016 02:53

Gumbel2Gumbel: Apr 28, 2010

D_Smart posted:

*sniff* *sniff* That was touching. And beautiful. And everything.

I saw a gameplay video today which would have been encouraging as a tech demo in late 2013, thank you for fighting the good fight.

# ? Jun 1, 2016 02:56

Cactus: Jun 24, 2006

After all this is over and done, who do you think will be the next developer to poo poo the bed and cause a subforum to pop into existence?

What's Ken Levine doing these days?

# ? Jun 1, 2016 02:56

TheLastRoboKy: May 2, 2009; Finishing the game with everyone else's continues

Cactus posted:

After all this is over and done, who do you think will be the next developer to poo poo the bed and cause a subforum to pop into existence?

What's Ken Levine doing these days?

I'm sure he's got something amazing in the pipe, all ready to be reiterated over and over into a massive disappointment.

# ? Jun 1, 2016 03:02

flyboi: Oct 13, 2005; agg stop posting; College Slice

Cactus posted:

After all this is over and done, who do you think will be the next developer to poo poo the bed and cause a subforum to pop into existence?

What's Ken Levine doing these days?

Well Romero is supposedly making a new game and sir Patrick has quite the train wreak happening

# ? Jun 1, 2016 03:02

Decrepus: May 21, 2008; In the end, his dominion did not touch a single poster.

Cactus posted:

After all this is over and done, who do you think will be the next developer to poo poo the bed and cause a subforum to pop into existence?

What's Ken Levine doing these days?

Derek Smart's Subforum Commander

# ? Jun 1, 2016 03:02

grimcreaper: Jan 7, 2012

My grandfather was a civilian expense auditor for the government. He oversaw the costs of [redacted] and [redacted].

He had security clearance for whatever 2 ranks above top secret is and that's all I know.

When I was like 9 years old, a good friend of his was all excited about something. "You will never know the name of the operation but your grandfather made it happen by allowing the budget. You should be proud of him!" And to this day he won't tell me what it was about. Just that it lead to freedom.

# ? Jun 1, 2016 03:05

Ghostlight: Sep 25, 2009; maybe for one second you can pause; try to step into another person's perspective, and understand that a watermelon is cursing me

Operation Bomb The Japs

e: my grandfather never talked about the war, but my grandmother made biscuits for the US soldiers stationed here.

# ? Jun 1, 2016 03:10

Mirificus: Oct 29, 2004; Kings need not raise their voices to be heard

Physics with Captain B'tak :science:

# ? Jun 1, 2016 03:19

A Neurotic Jew: Feb 17, 2012; by exmarx

https://forums.robertsspaceindustries.com/discussion/331417/is-it-just-me

# ? Jun 1, 2016 03:27

Theotus: Nov 8, 2014

Mirificus posted:

Physics with Captain B'tak

loving B'Tak. Dude has a great imagination, he should write a book.

# ? Jun 1, 2016 03:27

Beet Wagon: Oct 19, 2015

Star Citizen: I'd Rather Go To MineCon

# ? Jun 1, 2016 03:31

TTerrible: Jul 15, 2005

Things I cannot read about on the brown sea, in descending order of horror:

Programming
Law
Physics
The definition of "pay to win"

# ? Jun 1, 2016 03:34

boviscopophobic: Feb 5, 2016

A Neurotic Jew posted:

https://forums.robertsspaceindustries.com/discussion/331417/is-it-just-me

The most open development there ever was: it's just like a black hole.

# ? Jun 1, 2016 03:38

Colostomy Bag: Jan 11, 2016; C-Bangin' it

My grandpa was the greatest Nazi ever since the 3rd grade.

# ? Jun 1, 2016 03:51

Rodney-CK: Jun 19, 2004

Beer4TheBeerGod posted:

Translation:
What the gently caress do I care? We already have your money and this question isn't about Wing Commander. Go gently caress yourself you'll get what we decide to provide and you'll loving like it. You were dumb enough to give us money now deal with it.

I'm always curious if it bugs Ben that Star Citizen isn't Wing Commander. It's like the Strike Commander of Wing Commander. He'll never get to catalog the library of DVDs or gigs of data sent because it's beneath his station as the world's only official Wing Commander fanatic.

# ? Jun 1, 2016 03:51

Samizdata: May 14, 2007

TTerrible posted:

People discovering the recent Schmorky drama for the first time are like the people that come into this thread and ask about the conversion between CIG $ and real money.

I'm so sorry for what you're about to experience.

Prepare.

For.

Grief.

# ? Jun 1, 2016 03:54

SirPhoebos: Dec 10, 2007; WELL THAT JUST HAPPENED!

Cactus posted:

After all this is over and done, who do you think will be the next developer to poo poo the bed and cause a subforum to pop into existence?

What's Ken Levine doing these days?

If anyone does it, it'll be Hideo Kojima.

# ? Jun 1, 2016 03:55

sanctimoniousqfd: Dec 16, 2015

quote:

Game Systems:
Fixed an issue where a players wanted level was not correctly capping at 2 when enabling and disabling Comm Arrays.
Fixed an issue with the ICC Probe Mission 4 not failing due to irregular pirate spawning.
Increased the reward for the Outlaw mission �Keep the Comm Arrays Offline� from 100 aUEC per kill to 250 aUEC.

And all of these, in any sane MMO-like, would be server-side and thus not bullet-points in client-side patch notes...

# ? Jun 1, 2016 03:56

VealCutlet: Dec 21, 2015; I am a marketing god, shave that shit

A Neurotic Jew posted:

https://forums.robertsspaceindustries.com/discussion/331417/is-it-just-me

Sometimes I feel sorry for these people, sometimes I laugh. Sometimes like now I don't know what to feel... they are just... lost.

# ? Jun 1, 2016 04:03

Samizdata: May 14, 2007

Propagandist posted:

Derek Smart is my grand-dad, he fought in a war too. A different war though, in space.

also yes #freetophat

Christ, you bastards. Now I have to have children, so I can have grandchildren, so I can brag to them about standing next to The Smart One on ELE Day.

Thanks a whole loving lot.

# ? Jun 1, 2016 04:09

Samizdata: May 14, 2007

sanctimoniousqfd posted:

Wow, what is with this guy's fetish with assembler?

No, procedural generation can be implemented in ANY language... and Elite says hi from 1984 by the way (first use of the technique in games IIRC... e: apparently nope, that honour goes to Akalabeth for first to use a seed, or Beneath Apple Manor for RNG dungeon generation)!

Thanks for reminding me I have Akalabeth in my GOG Library!

(4 Mb? Seriously?)

# ? Jun 1, 2016 04:13

Ash1138: Sep 29, 2001; Get up, chief. We're just gettin' started.

lol only $1.4M for the month

archive THAT, reddit

# ? Jun 1, 2016 04:13

Mirificus: Oct 29, 2004; Kings need not raise their voices to be heard

While Captain B'tak can't stand being ambushed, he'd like to be able to use Q-Ships to ambush attackers. He also doesn't want outlaws to be able to use them.

# ? Jun 1, 2016 04:13

Blunderstorm: Mar 1, 2016; my grandfather just posts and all i got was this lousy joke, so what

SirPhoebos posted:

If anyone does it, it'll be Hideo Kojima.

Has he found anyone to give him money to make a new game? I don't see that happening after the public fiasco of MGS5 and Silent Hill.

# ? Jun 1, 2016 04:17

Jobbo_Fett: Mar 7, 2014; Slava Ukrayini; Clapping Larry

Turd Burglar posted:

Has he found anyone to give him money to make a new game? I don't see that happening after the public fiasco of MGS5 and Silent Hill.

He should look into making a space sim...

He's already got the procedural weather, the customization, vehicles, multicrew, emergent gameplay, amazing AI...

and horse poop!

# ? Jun 1, 2016 04:20

squirrelzipper: Nov 2, 2011

My maternal grandpa flew planes for the commonwealth allies and shot some nazis up. My paternal grandfather was a chemist so he stayed home in Australia and by all accounts gouged the government for enough during the war that he could open his own pharmacy once it ended. I never met either of them, but my mums dad was an alkie too so I like him best.

squirrelzipper fucked around with this message at 04:26 on Jun 1, 2016

# ? Jun 1, 2016 04:23

EminusSleepus: Sep 28, 2015

it is June 1 now!!

so any interesting news?

has DSmart acquired 51% of CIG?

# ? Jun 1, 2016 04:25

Jobbo_Fett: Mar 7, 2014; Slava Ukrayini; Clapping Larry

EminusSleepus posted:

it is June 1 now!!

so any interesting news?

has DSmart acquired 51% of CIG?

PST time

# ? Jun 1, 2016 04:26

Godmode Enabled: Jul 14, 2013; I AM A BETAGOON, ASK ME ABOUT PROPER GRIEF TO CASH RATIOS.

Reddits getting bored of SC :ohdear:

1.7m drop in monthly visitors and 5m from max around dec.
https://www.reddit.com/r/StarCitizen/about/traffic/

# ? Jun 1, 2016 04:28

sanctimoniousqfd: Dec 16, 2015

Godmode Enabled posted:

Reddits getting bored of SC 1.7m drop in monthly visitors and 5m from max around dec.
https://www.reddit.com/r/StarCitizen/about/traffic/

How many of those are goons looking for material to post here? ;-)

# ? Jun 1, 2016 04:31

Nebrilos: Oct 9, 2012

Mirificus posted:

While Captain B'tak can't stand being ambushed, he'd like to be able to use Q-Ships to ambush attackers. He also doesn't want outlaws to be able to use them.

Why would someone write like this? The overuse of quotes, italics, and bold make this painful to read.

# ? Jun 1, 2016 04:33

Tippis: Mar 21, 2008; It's yet another day in the wasteland.

Samizdata posted:

Thanks for reminding me I have Akalabeth in my GOG Library!

(4 Mb? Seriously?)

Ultima games always were huge disk hogs. Granted, the 75% of that GOG release is probably just the emulation software, but the point still stands.

# ? Jun 1, 2016 04:35

HoneyBakedMAN: Oct 26, 2007; Sliced for babewiches

Annabelle "Boo" Huxley needs to be one of the main antagonists in Solar Plebeian.

# ? Jun 1, 2016 04:35

Ghostlight: Sep 25, 2009; maybe for one second you can pause; try to step into another person's perspective, and understand that a watermelon is cursing me

Do you think we can get Schmorky to voice her?

# ? Jun 1, 2016 04:41

Tijuana Bibliophile: Dec 30, 2008; Scratchmo

A Neurotic Jew posted:

PTU 2.4.0m patch notes

https://www.reddit.com/r/starcitizen/comments/4lyfnv/ptu_240m_patch_notes/

I'm starting to think "fixed several server crashes" means a lot of the servers crashed, so they restarted them

# ? Jun 1, 2016 04:48

Colostomy Bag: Jan 11, 2016; C-Bangin' it

VealCutlet posted:

Sometimes I feel sorry for these people, sometimes I laugh. Sometimes like now I don't know what to feel... they are just... lost.

That whole forum is sickening and heartbreaking. Don't feel bad. You just have to accept it.

# ? Jun 1, 2016 04:56

Blunderstorm: Mar 1, 2016; my grandfather just posts and all i got was this lousy joke, so what

Jobbo_Fett posted:

He should look into making a space sim...

He's already got the procedural weather, the customization, vehicles, multicrew, emergent gameplay, amazing AI...

and horse poop!

belongs to konami

and i just got really upset remembering they won't license out fox engine.

# ? Jun 1, 2016 04:57

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Apr 27, 2024 20:32

G0RF: Mar 19, 2015; Some galactic defender you are, Space Cadet.

A random person tries out Star Citizen for the first time and offers an extensive summary of his first experience with the $114 million, four and a half years in the making, so ahead of the competition only Rockstar might hope to catch up (maybe) Best drat Space Sim Ever.

quote:

"My first few hours with Star Citizen
Yaroc on 2016/05/31

Below is my adventure. TL;DR version: I had a bit of fun messing around with the game, but I don't know if it's a game quite for me -- hard to tell because it's only Alpha.

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

My computer is barely able to run the game. I was able to tweak my system and get it where it was playable... then found out that for some reason SLI was disabled on my system, so turning that on helped a bit more... but I still experience a few issues.

The pilot training SUCKED. I was doing good up until the point where I had to shoot the drone with the missles. Not a single missle even came close to hitting. NOT. ONE. After I don't know how many shots, I finally did a search to see if I was doing something wrong. Well, I don't think it was me; there have been issues with the pilot training being buggy since July/August 2015.

I skipped that portion of the training and went on to Landing. Easy enough, or so I thought at that time.

Continued to where we 'race' through the asteroids. That was ok, though no matter what I did, I couldn't catch up to Gilly. "Race to the spire" part came up, and I figured out how to use the afterburner. WHOOSH, I was off and at the spire and... what the hell? I'm going out of bounds? He's stopped dead half way to the spire. I fly back to him; HUD still shows "Race to the spire". I did circles around him; nothing. Ok, restarted that portion of the training. Figured out how to keep up with Gilly, by setting my ship to cruise.

NOW the proper part of the training came up. I was able to finish the rest, and all was good. Tried the basic combat training again in case it was buggy the first time. Nada. Still can't kill the drone with the missles, and the guns don't fire. Tried again, and again, and again to see if there was something I was missing if I could complete that part of the training.

Gave up. Figured I'd try racing through Arena Commander. Didn't see it listed, except for Spectrum races. Tried one. Ya, bad idea.... I crashed after the 2nd gate.

Checked through the other options in Arena Commander and found the races where I can practice. Did that for a while, about 60-70 laps of the first course to get used to the controls etc, until I thought I was doing decent enough to try another spectrum race. HAAH. Not. I was left in the dust; I have no clue what the guy I was going up against was piloting, but he was off like a shot and I couldn't catch him no matter what I tried.

Took a break. Watched a few vids. Visited the forums and found that I missed joining you guys in game. I figured I'd go in and check on the actual gameplay on the PTU.

Had a bit of fun with that...

I don't remember choosing a Mustang Alpha as my ship... but that's what I have. It's buggy as all hell; I get in and almost immediately pop out through the side or top of it. I have to get in and hit CTRL to crouch so that once the animation is done playing, I can hit F to sit in the chair to pilot my ship.

Didn't know where to go after I launched. The keybinds screen is hard to read for some reason (my low graphics settings, maybe?). I was able to open the Journal (F9) and found a com relay that wanted repairs. Headed there and got blown to bits from the 3 pirates there. K, so, I probably suck or my ship isn't set up for combat (and hell if I'm paying any more cash out for a different ship or whatever).

I looked into the Private Investigator job. Went to the system, and was able to land on the little platform first try! Couldn't figure out how the hell to get out of my ship. Hit ALT-F to get out of the chair. Walked to the ladder and .. nadda. <<USE>> would just put me back into the chair. Out of the chair - into the chair - out of the chair - into the chair. FINALLY it glitched me into the ceiling of my ship and I was able to jump out through the side.... but put me spinning around and around and around in space. Almost made me sick.

Mashed keys until I bashed into the deck. Stopped my spinning long enough for me to figure out the EVA controls. K, I got it from here. Flew into the station at the point where it asked to "Find Evidence". "Find Evidence" changed to "Upload Evidence". No clue where I needed to go to do that. Got lost in the station; figured out how to turn on the flashlight. Finally got back to the hole in the station where I entered, and got blasted to bits from something and died. Was there enemies in the station that respawned? Was it a player that mowed me down with the guns on their ship?

Repeat all above. Got to the station, nobody there. Figured out how to draw my gun (in case there were NPCs in the station; there aren't lol). Flew around, with a lot of difficulty -- character wanted to constantly spin or tilt or .... I dunno. After a bit, I actually found a few things that classified as evidence, then found the room to upload evidence; uploaded. Heard the chikky say "thanks, payment is made" blah blah. Exited the station and found my ship floating 4.5km away from where I was. WHAT?

Started heading in that direction. Frikkin' spaceman wanted to do flips/turns/rolls .... UGH. Stopped to figure out if there was something I could do; found the 3rd person camera. All jets on my spacesuit were going off at random times. I didn't know what the heck to do about it, but by watching it, I noticed the timing of the jets going off was slower and slower until IT'S A MIRACLE THE drat THINGS STOPPED FIRING. Now I'm in space and stable, and flying ever-so-slowly towards my ship and not getting this motion sickness.

Can I sprint -- OMG I can sprint in space! Haha. I got within 1500m from my ship when the game disconnected me. I felt defeated ... I mean, I was almost there! Hehe.

Checked my log, still 0 UECs. I did that job and didn't get paid! Damnit.

Ok, went through those steps again. This time there were 3 other ships at the station. Landed, again. Got out and sent my ship spinning off into the void. Went through the station after letting my dude settle down and not go all wonky, found the evidence, uploaded, got out. Got to my ship (which wasn't far away) and died trying to get back into the thing....

Woke up and, somehow, I made myself a criminal. 45 seconds to wait before I could exit my bedroom. Ok. Crap. Still 0 UEC. Double-crap.

Log shows I didn't upload the evidence. Aiight.... go back, uploaded, the chick came on and said thanks blah blah payment blah. Mission cleared from my log, but ... no payment. Fine, whatever ... maybe the money isn't implemented yet? Fine - I'll find out something else to do.

Got into my ship. What next? Message about clearing my criminal status. K.

Flew to that station. Some doofus in a BIG ship sat outside the station and was mowing everyone down. 60 seconds to respawn. /sigh

Made it back to the station. The guy that was killing everyone was no longer there, so I was able to land just fine. Ran to central room - couldn't hack the computer (didn't know what I was doing). Ran around ... found weapons and was able to pick up a decent rifle. COOL! Aiight... still can't figure out how to hack that computer. Another guy was running around as well, trying everything along with me. Neither of us could figure it out. Meh.

Ran around some more and ended up stuck inside a wall somehow. Just wonderful. Figured out how to kill myself so that I could do something different.

Read the forums; apparently some of the repair jobs need an EVA to complete the work... aiight, I'll try the EVA crap again at a comm station.

My Mustang vs 5 pirates. Nope. Found myself respawned in my room; no more criminal flag though (apparently it wears off after a while).

Too tired to continue, so, I logged off for the night.

I did have a bit of fun. I'm just not sure that the game is for me. I loved playing Wing Commander and Freelancer ages ago ... so I thought I'd like this a lot more than what I do. But, it's only Alpha so maybe it'll get better? I hope it gets better."

# ? Jun 1, 2016 04:57

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > The Goodmine > Star Citizen: Big MoMA's House

«‹›6665 »