FCKGW posted:

op your roomate wants a glory hole but is too shy to ask

Blind Rasputin posted:

My roommate in college did this with our rented floor of this college house. He built a secret room in his bedroom that housed sodium lamps and he grew weed. It always worried me because I was a good student and didn't do drugs. But he failed to realize the implications of a small window he left as part of his walled off weed growing room (he would leave it open for ventilation and we were on a ground floor) and one day a raccoon or something got in there and ate all of his plants.

So after a few days of despair on his part, I came home one day and there was literally giant rodent sized mousetraps all around our house and he had bought new plants.

Wedemeyer posted:

Please, PLEASE click through to the thread. It's a Good one. Namaste

codenameFANGIO posted:

Forceholy, tear down this wall.

slinky triscuits posted:

Dude was an employee who got passed over for a promotion and got mad about it. He left the store, got a gun, came back and fired one round into the ceiling before grabbing the girl who got "his" promotion and the store manager and locking them all in the manager's office. Yup he was Somali but that doesn't mean much, lots of them were relocated here.

Vacation Tenzin posted:

"Look at me. I am the Produce Manager now."

Enhydra lutris posted:

Cannabis no longer has a Qualitative Effect on me; I am using a Blend of Precise 50:50 Ratio (Half) Nimbin Red Rocket and Astrobella; I must perforate the Tolerance Ceiling; and explore a different Nectar; my Body is resistant to Altered States; which Species has the strongest Nectar (once distilled)? The Kangaroos eat my Saplings; they are a Pest

Enhydra lutris posted:

A Farm is necessary; the Cannabis Farmer lives Two Hundred and Twenty Kilometres (220) to the South East; in addition He Is A Prick; he has a Shanty in which his Children live; with the Dogs; Chickens; Turkey (?); he has a Southern Cross Flag in lieu of a screen door; the Property has a Smell of Rendered Fat and Petroleum. I can grow Cannabis In Peace; I control the Smell of my Property; I have a screen door. My Saplings are in a Surreptitious Bed; I purchased a Rusted Car Shell for Eighty Seven (87) Dollars; Pick Up Only; plus Reptile Aquarium (surplus to Needs); I severed the Roof with a Hand Saw; it is permeable to Light. I planted Six (6) Seeds; Four (4) developed into Seedlings; the Kangaroos (Macropus giganteus) ate them. My Question: does Tetrahydrocannibol remain psycho active following Digestion?

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

Enhydra lutris posted:

Why Am I Not Able To Attain Heights as previous

Terrible Robot posted:

I was never quite sure what to think of Enhydra lutris but I think these posts in the weed-growing thread have won me over.

Terrible Robot posted:

I was never quite sure what to think of Enhydra lutris but I think these posts in the weed-growing thread have won me over.

DOWN JACKET FETISH posted:

funny posts!? about kangaroos!?

user loses posting privileges for three days

quote:

I planted Six (6) Seeds; Four (4) developed into Seedlings; the Kangaroos (Macropus giganteus) ate them. My Question: does Tetrahydrocannibol remain psycho active following Digestion?

Sham bam bamina! posted:

He's not... he's not seriously considering...

Enhydra lutris posted:

I was bitten by a Chesapeake Bay Retriever; the Dog removed the Sandwich that I was eating (Sausage and Tomato Sauce) from my Plate while I was momentarily distracted by a Lemon Yellow Car; I attempted to retrieve the Sandwich; the Dog emitted a Coarse Huff and bit my Hand; however I did not suffer significant Tissue Damage; and did not retaliate legally or physically. The Dog remains alive; I saw it upon visiting the Town recently; it seems healthy (Lustrous Pelt; Unimpeded Movement; Slim Physique) and Non Aggressive toward passers by.

DOWN JACKET FETISH posted:

funny posts!? about kangaroos!?

user loses posting privileges for three days

Rinkles posted:

Interesting that his son is central to the gameplay throughout, so much so that there's a button dedicated to interacting with him

"While you assume complete control of Kratos, you also passively control his son throughout the entire game, and both characters grow and evolve. There’s a single button dedicated to your son, and its use depends on the context. He becomes an active participant in combat, traversal, exploration, and puzzle-solving."

From IGN

ethanol posted:

press f to pay allowance

acksplode posted:

Press the Son button to deploy your Son. This will deplete your Sons by 1, but Sons automatically regenerate over time.

NESguerilla posted:

Oh poo poo! I accidentally hit the son button during the sex minigame! Press Select to back out, quick! Oh no that's the share button now nooooo

The MSJ posted:

Democratic Pirate posted:

That kid is staring straight into a dragon butthole.

Rad Lieutenant posted:

some secrets are too big to keep

Sham bam bamina! posted:

He's not... he's not seriously considering...

Jedit posted:

People drink coffee that's been through a civet cat.

A GLISTENING HODOR posted:

I never fully digest peanuts. Wonder if I could sell foodies my organic artisan peanut butter.

Christmas Present posted:

panning for gold in San Francisco makes a comeback

Neddy Seagoon posted:

So some guy's job somewhere is to just jam his dick into those on a production line every day for authenticity?

Dick Trauma posted:

It's a living.

Hollismason posted:

As someone who formerly worked in EMS I can assure you that it is really common to get a shampoo bottle stuck in your rectum. To avoid this common accident this is why I exclusively only use square shaped shampoo bottles in the shower or I will dump the shampoo out and place it in a zip lock bag.


It's super common and a risk that is easily avoidable if you bathe. I didn't realize it was a epidemic until I was in EMS

GameCube posted:

fyi if you really want to know what the most humane way to euthanize an animal is, here u go

SO DEMANDING posted:

Enhydra lutris posted:

Hodor's Penis as presented in the Television Show is not exceptionally large; it is much smaller than a Horse Penis; Stallions have Penises of exceptional length; the longest Stallion Penis that I have measured was Eight Hundred and Thirty Millimetres (830mm) long when fully erect; belonging to a mature Australian Draught Horse (a large breed).

Cobweb Heart posted:

Peppers are the ultimate natural medicine.



I hope one day to be a extreme pepper head world Legend.

Snapchat A Titty posted:

wow ive never seen a twitter screenshot from an atari 800

social vegan posted:

weird, usually the death roll happens unsupervised in the crib

Bob James posted:

The gator went to Disney World to discover the little kid inside him.

dispatch_async posted:

https://twitter.com/PoliticalAP/status/743076129356034048

sebzilla posted:

Knowing me, No-ing EU.

Solice Kirsk posted:

Just put a Cradle of Filth album on repeat until the skull admits defeat and moves on.

GWBBQ posted:

LSD CURES JUNKIES posted:

Here's something I find unnerving:

A dude in the town where I live beat his twin to death with a hammer

Jedit posted:

A word of wisdom for that guy - using your twin to provide an alibi for your crimes does not work in all situations.

Gravitas Shortfall posted:

Plot twist, they're actually triplets

Ktb posted:

poop dood posted:

This is the type of dude who hits on a girl in his Intro to Psychology class, begs to eat her pussy on Facebook Messenger, then calls her a whore for not responding within twenty minutes.

This is the type of dude who corrects strangers' pronunciation in public.

Ol' conspicuously-reading-Hemingway-in-public lookin' rear end. Fedora-trenchcoat-faded jeans wearin' rear end. Sapiosexual lookin' rear end.

EmmyOk posted:

Someone recently tagged me in a buzzfeed post where they put Partridge quotes over EU Referendum photos and it's wonderful

https://www.buzzfeed.com/robinedds/knowing-me-knowing-eu

EmmyOk posted:

Someone recently tagged me in a buzzfeed post where they put Partridge quotes over EU Referendum photos and it's wonderful

https://www.buzzfeed.com/robinedds/knowing-me-knowing-eu

Smythe posted:

alright OP ive been steering clear of this loving wasteland of a thread but im gonna drop some pearls in here and no their not poo poo their not pearls no bitch theyre loving frozen god cum so get ready

first, the trick is 2 realize that as an adult nerd, ur the bomb. ur a nerd, right? but now, that ur old, u dont gonna be a wimp and u aint gotta be fat. u r born with ur engorged cranium and huge brain fulla loving ownage. now the loving loser shithead jocks, they aint got that. but you, bitch, you can get what they got

get loving buff as hell. ok. now u got a bigt rear end brain fulla loving BIG IDEAS and KNOLEDGE -> and now ur loving BIG BUFF GUY. U gottta get the pecs. u gotta get tyhe loving GLUTS. u gotta the loving ABS., BENCH PRESS UR COMPUTER CHAIR. DEAD LIFT UR SERVER RACK. LEG PRESS UR TOILET. Get loving IMMENSE. SO BIG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Right.

Now, dress like a nerd. Get a shirt with a pocket. Put az POCKET POROTECTR. put pens, inside it- Nice. Get PANT. Tight ones. Show off those BUNS

O_O -------- 8-) (girl checkin ya out, w/ ya glasses)

Then, u c her. Take out that BIG FAT WALLET. Money is fuycking EVERYWHERe b/c w/ ur BIG BRAIN u got a BIG BANK. DANG!

Being this PIMP will give u MAD CONFIDENCE., u got the swaggar like shaggar. GEt out yo TOURUS and say YO, check it. -thats it dog. its done. thats all u gotta do.

gg

Rap Music and Dope posted:

this is bad and pathetic you trying to plug yourself in the quotes thread LMAO