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  • Locked thread
Deedrix
Jun 6, 2016

"Give me money and I'll give you shit in return."
CIG ToS
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5XhrNiw8CYA

This guy is a prime example of the cult


Edit: Catte Duke

Deedrix fucked around with this message at 10:46 on Jun 20, 2016

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it dont matter
Aug 29, 2008

Beer4TheBeerGod posted:

Yeah that really is amazing. Thanks.

If you've not read it, Morgan's Altered Carbon is an ace cyberpunk noir novel. Highly recommended.

There's a Netflix adaptation on the way too.

1000 Sweaty Rikers
Oct 13, 2005

Deedrix posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5XhrNiw8CYA

This guy is a prime example of the cult


lol how can this be real? Is this real?

Bofast
Feb 21, 2011

Grimey Drawer

TacticalNecromancy posted:

While a day later than I alluded to in the Discord thanks to intense refactoring and me forgetting I have a shitload of work to do, I present a little more gameplay, along with an ode to the $24m stretch goal: 'Space Liners and Public Transport'.

---
A Journal
Call me xXIsmha3lXx. Some months ago, never mind how precisely, having too much money in my wallet and an attraction to space games, I thought I would acquire one and see the mysterious parts of deep space as rendered by a madman’s delusional fever dreams.

As soon as I had become a Citizen of the world of space, I found myself attempting to earn my first star vessel by finding myself a berth aboard a successful citizen’s starship in order to earn experience of what the United Empire of Earth regarded as an honest line of work. The vessel I found was the Tigers’ cLaw #137, a large vessel of a class well known to be a valuable all-rounder. While I had initial concerns given the vessel’s condition, and the fact the name had been crudely daubed on the side in what I will continue to assume is paint for the sake of my soul, I swallowed what doubts I had and strode aboard. One does not learn the ways of the ‘laxy with our risk, after all.

I profoundly regret that decision, which did such things to my sanity that the present hell I find myself trapped in feels like a blissful reprieve from the terrors that the citizens of this crazed ‘empire’ seem to revel in. Aboard my first host’s… ship, let us refer to it, I encountered darkness beyond mortal understanding. Strange animal-men haunted the corridors of this vessel, while the doors drifted through the ship, liberated from their set positions by the vagaries of the universe. Upon sighting an innocent freight steamer, the crew set themselves to task… they conducted their boarding operations with a terrifying, brutal efficiency that would be the envy of any Stormtrooper, but taken to the worst possible ends. While I refuse to detail the exact nature of their… goals, suffice it to say that I now understand the concept of a ‘rape bus’.

Whilst the crew were distracted on one of their ‘missions’ a month into my servitude, I felt it necessary to escape in order to retain what was left of my fragile and bruised psyche. I feel no regrets for removing the vital systems for their Faster Than Light Engines as I ran for the escape pod, nor for my call for the Navy to assist.

As I fell through the void in my tiny and cramped one-man pod, with barely enough room to move about beyond turning slightly to view the monitors that cocooned my head in a welcome glow, I believe I had finally found peace in this universe as the weeks passed. Perhaps a month later, my hope for once more seeing a sane member of my species was piqued as I caught a glimpse of the brilliant gleaming bulk of one of the numerous star-liners that ply these dark spaceways, its very hull ablaze with the lights from a thousand windows that seemed to beckon me closer like the gates of St. Peter himself. My hope was answered as a series of grapple-lines belched forth from the glorious craft and drew my small pod into its protective embrace.

For the first days on this vessel, I found myself resting and attempting to get used to a crowd that was not smearing their own names on the walls in indescribable fluids, but I began to notice curious things about the passengers and crew of this great craft. A good deal of the faces I encountered were identical, as if the bowels of the liner were naught but a vast duplication facility and while walking, many seemed to bump into railings and ‘slide’ along the side until they found a position they could continue walking forwards. I put this down initially to hallucinations brought about by my ordeal and signed a contract in order to find myself some gainful employ as an unofficial member of the crew.

Sadly, this employment, while initially mentally stimulating, served only to deepen my suspicions. I spent three solid days working at some of the ship’s various bars and while I approved of the work… drinks were always ordered in the same sequence, every time, no matter the hour. I found myself pre-empting some of the customers, who didn’t seem to react beyond responding as they did after they ordered normally. The facts had begun to stare me in the face, but I refused to listen to them while all the while my fellow passengers operated rote patterns occasionally interrupted by them somehow falling through parts of the ship, presumably ending up in another dimension or perhaps crushed in a gravitational vortex.

Over the next week, I conducted various other jobs throughout the ship for pay… all were initially logical and practically enjoyable but they began to fade over time into simple repetition. By this point, two months in, I have memorised no less than a dozen of the miniature diversions, all of which are slowly earning me the money I require to buy my own vessel… but I cannot escape this vessel for the moment. We have docked at perhaps a hundred space ports since I came aboard this vessel and all that has happened is that a collection of the ‘passengers ‘ disembark, only to be replaced by identical passengers.

I came to realise that I am trapped aboard a ship of soulless automata, no less than empty-faced drones that take the form of humans solely in order to crew this ship and sail her through the trackless stars forever. I pray that I will earn enough money to complete my contracted terms and leave this ship of the damned before the light fades and I become little more than one of them.

Save yourselves from hell.

:five: :five:

Kakarot
Jul 20, 2013

by zen death robot
Buglord

I made the one about how Dereks coming for your space ships :unsmith:

tuo
Jun 17, 2016

Tace Vim posted:

lol how can this be real? Is this real?

He really seems to "like" Sandi...like Ben likes that TV chick... :sandance: :barf: :sandance:

Daztek
Jun 2, 2006





Gonna need a sale soon

Kakarot
Jul 20, 2013

by zen death robot
Buglord
the sale is still on...

TacticalNecromancy
May 25, 2015

Guys, I think I did it. I found out where the dreams are being developed:

Chalks
Sep 30, 2009

Kakarot posted:

the sale is still on...

Gonna need to overlap the sales

AP
Jul 12, 2004

One Ring to fool them all
One Ring to find them
One Ring to milk them all
and pockets fully line them
Grimey Drawer
https://giant.gfycat.com/NaiveSelfreliantFlies.mp4

Tank Boy Ken
Aug 24, 2012
J4G for life
Fallen Rib

AP posted:

hurl.pic

This is a bit nauseating. And it's not even VR!

AP
Jul 12, 2004

One Ring to fool them all
One Ring to find them
One Ring to milk them all
and pockets fully line them
Grimey Drawer
EXPECTED RESULT

respawning normal so you can see the avatar
With a GTX1080 i paid well over $1000 for? A lot more than f_cking 30FPS!!
The quantum drive animation should stop
The contacts panel should be legible.
Repaired guns at Cry Astro should make guns look AND OPERATE properly.
After respawn, gimbals should still function.
When I let go of my fire trigger gun should stop firing.
That the animation works correctly
The loading screen should go away after a while so that I can play the bloody game! NOW CONTACT ME AND FIX IT. I PAID UP NOW DELIVER!
can change weapons and rockets like its supposed
Stable motion and position
access to universe, AC or Handar
Ship should be put together without parts floating behind it
When the cutlass was melted, it should have deleted the stock loadout that came with the cutlass package,, not the actual loadout with items from other, still existing, packages.
The range of platform numbers should be listed as 01-02, there is no platform 00
Should be a completed wall there with no random hole into the void.
Hand position shouldnt be wierd
Unless I'm looking in the wrong place (see screenshot below), the holotable is completely absent from my hangar, which doesn't seem right.
To get in game
Items and flairs should load when reloading hangar module.
Notthing . legs or arms normal.
Play SC 2.4.0
Be able to spacewalk again.
game start fater log on confirm
Able to get back into pilot seat and continue flying.
The game to open and be able to play
A similar result as to the diagonal right forward walk & jog animations that move correctly (read: not unnaturally or bizarrely) and don't clip through the character's own limbs.
Should be able to wait out the timer to remove the wanted outlaw level. Personally I don't want to be the bad guy in this game.
I should have been able to enter ship during EVA
Exit seat, be able to kill self. Exit cursor with F3.
Normal EVA
Game should not have crashed.
The UI to be centered in the middle of the screen, the circle indicating progress encircling the destination.
Ship to only roll when told to do so.
No crime levels for inside my hanger
After repairs the turrets should be working



AP fucked around with this message at 11:32 on Jun 20, 2016

orcinus
Feb 25, 2016

Fun Shoe

Okay, he just overdid it.
He's a troll, quite possibly someone from here.

Hopper
Dec 28, 2004

BOOING! BOOING!
Grimey Drawer

AP posted:

Spaceship with fallout-style generator.gif

I am the hand missing the folding chair that doesn't actually unfold by a good 5 inches

AP
Jul 12, 2004

One Ring to fool them all
One Ring to find them
One Ring to milk them all
and pockets fully line them
Grimey Drawer
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Jvef6MvygY

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bLTIqqNR9QU

Skellybones
May 31, 2011




Fun Shoe
That really is emblematic of everything CIG has tried to achieve. They want fold-out chairs in space ships for some reason.

Maldoror
Oct 5, 2003

by R. Guyovich
Nap Ghost

AP posted:

EXPECTED RESULT

respawning normal so you can see the avatar
With a GTX1080 i paid well over $1000 for? A lot more than f_cking 30FPS!!
The quantum drive animation should stop
The contacts panel should be legible.
Repaired guns at Cry Astro should make guns look AND OPERATE properly.
After respawn, gimbals should still function.
When I let go of my fire trigger gun should stop firing.
That the animation works correctly
The loading screen should go away after a while so that I can play the bloody game! NOW CONTACT ME AND FIX IT. I PAID UP NOW DELIVER!
can change weapons and rockets like its supposed
Stable motion and position
access to universe, AC or Handar
Ship should be put together without parts floating behind it
When the cutlass was melted, it should have deleted the stock loadout that came with the cutlass package,, not the actual loadout with items from other, still existing, packages.
The range of platform numbers should be listed as 01-02, there is no platform 00
Should be a completed wall there with no random hole into the void.
Hand position shouldnt be wierd
Unless I'm looking in the wrong place (see screenshot below), the holotable is completely absent from my hangar, which doesn't seem right.
To get in game
Items and flairs should load when reloading hangar module.
Notthing . legs or arms normal.
Play SC 2.4.0
Be able to spacewalk again.
game start fater log on confirm
Able to get back into pilot seat and continue flying.
The game to open and be able to play
A similar result as to the diagonal right forward walk & jog animations that move correctly (read: not unnaturally or bizarrely) and don't clip through the character's own limbs.
Should be able to wait out the timer to remove the wanted outlaw level. Personally I don't want to be the bad guy in this game.
I should have been able to enter ship during EVA
Exit seat, be able to kill self. Exit cursor with F3.
Normal EVA
Game should not have crashed.
The UI to be centered in the middle of the screen, the circle indicating progress encircling the destination.
Ship to only roll when told to do so.
No crime levels for inside my hanger
After repairs the turrets should be working





where are you getting all this poo poo dude

Maw
Feb 18, 2013

Mere minutes after discovering the new technology, it was used to send me a crude ASCII dong.


AP posted:

EXPECTED RESULT

The range of platform numbers should be listed as 01-02, there is no platform 00

Arrays are hard :(

E:
Dead Space 4 looking pretty shoddy :/

Maw fucked around with this message at 11:44 on Jun 20, 2016

orcinus
Feb 25, 2016

Fun Shoe

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OaTO8_KNcuo

AP
Jul 12, 2004

One Ring to fool them all
One Ring to find them
One Ring to milk them all
and pockets fully line them
Grimey Drawer

Maldoror posted:

where are you getting all this poo poo dude

The other comedy website I visit.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JKaMRga5sQs&t=34s

Erenthal
Jan 1, 2008

A relaxing walk in the woods
Grimey Drawer

Why? I mean, I know the answer, but sometimes it's just good to ask the question. Why is this animation necessary? Why do you have to have the capability to sit down on a fold-out chair inside your sperg rocket?

Now, I'm no game deisgner, but I would assume that when you add things to your game, you ask some questions. Does this enhance gameplay? Is it fun? Will people want to do this? Will they keep doing it after the first time? If the answers to all these questions are no, then don't loving add it!

Maw
Feb 18, 2013

Mere minutes after discovering the new technology, it was used to send me a crude ASCII dong.



The lack of pants reveal is my favourite part of this.

Maw
Feb 18, 2013

Mere minutes after discovering the new technology, it was used to send me a crude ASCII dong.


I mean trousers but these forums have Americanised me :(

Erenthal
Jan 1, 2008

A relaxing walk in the woods
Grimey Drawer

Maw posted:

The lack of pants reveal is my favourite part of this.

I'm just glad they they found a way to add this dedicated fan to the game!



e: the original filename on CIG's site for this photo is satan.jpg, which makes me unreasonably happy.

AP
Jul 12, 2004

One Ring to fool them all
One Ring to find them
One Ring to milk them all
and pockets fully line them
Grimey Drawer

Tokamak
Dec 22, 2004


:yikes:

This one is a slow burn. Starts out with lots of creepy Sandi gifs, it then goes off on a full blown rant about adding survival elements to the game to attract more rubes.

it dont matter
Aug 29, 2008

TacticalNecromancy posted:

Guys, I think I did it. I found out where the dreams are being developed:



lesnickweddingnight.jpg


They are well on their way to emulating Arma in one respect. That is some janky animation.

That jumble of components and wires in the side of the otherwise smooth and clean spaceship looks really out of place. Nothing to do with the confused and inconsistent project management from Crobber I'm sure.

it dont matter fucked around with this message at 12:01 on Jun 20, 2016

Maw
Feb 18, 2013

Mere minutes after discovering the new technology, it was used to send me a crude ASCII dong.


Erenthal posted:

I'm just glad they they found a way to add this dedicated fan to the game!



e: the original filename on CIG's site for this photo is satan.jpg, which makes me unreasonably happy.

W...why is this on CIGs site? I feel all the time I spent getting a job was time I should have spent keeping up to date on happenings

Best filename though

it dont matter
Aug 29, 2008

Maw posted:

W...why is this on CIGs site? I feel all the time I spent getting a job was time I should have spent keeping up to date on happenings

Best filename though

It's from a gallery of citizens CIG hosts. Not only did someone feel this would be a good picture to make publicly viewable on a web site, CIG appear to have done little to no vetting or moderation of the gallery. It's full of crazy poo poo like this (CPAP commando is a good one).

This is the source of bunnyman and the scraggly serial killer looking dude with the stained trousers and holster, among many others.

Dante80
Mar 23, 2015

AP
Jul 12, 2004

One Ring to fool them all
One Ring to find them
One Ring to milk them all
and pockets fully line them
Grimey Drawer
EXPECTED RESULT

I expect that the game doesent need Lightyears of loading till i get on crusader.
No intermittency: Reliable keybind functionality
Should not die from that I believe
Ammo should load with the weapon or should be reloadable at CryAstro... Neither is the case!
No clipping
Sights should stay persistent
Smooth and beautiful textures...
My 300i should have weapons
you should collide with the walls and be kept within certain areas of the ship.
both weapon mounts should have a gun attached
just launch 1 Countermeasure
Having audio on SC.
after death by exit the freelancer sidedoor in space and respawn i cant see my avatar (1st and 3rd person, flight suit or civilian clothes). and i can glitch through doors and no jetpack in space
well it shouldn't freeze, able to select my item and change to different item, and continue playing the game
Fun smooth FPS gameplay and a dead pirate.
The screen should not have gone black.
play ac match to the end
All of the cockpit should be shown
The fire from the canard turret weapons should be directed towards the reticle
Still be able to use stations/doors/elevators while the ship is moving.
I'd expect that the door should be attached properly.
since you own your ship, this should not trigger an outlaw status.
you should just normally get out of your ship.
I should be seeing the armor I bought properly
It shouldn't say landing complete because the ship is already landed :P That probably has to do with the floating / aurora can't land bug and thats why you get this message.
sitting in seat
Once in the ship, I should be able to manually trigger the door closing. anytime I free the interact near the doors while in the ship just makes me climb down the ladder.
Should force crouch or prevent character standing on bed from clipping through ship and being jettisoned from the ship.
Not being ejected from ship (Freelancer) while manning a turret during combat. However, in the event of being ejected and then EVA'ng around, not being a statue under artificial gravity, but being able to move as normal. In the event all of that fails, being able to suicide and respawn.
Being able to turn comm relay on whether pirates were alive or dead and whether they were dead at my hands or others.
I expect to be able to hear sound in game with a headset.
Sniper rifle with scope; pistol with iron sights
Size 2 missiles should lock on and fire.
Text should be readable.
Game continues
weapons should cool down
Successful Quantum Travel
Can i get THE RELIANT KORE - MINI HAULER?
To see a door.
It should be possible to get back to the main menu from the Defeat Screen using [ESC]. It should not be mandatory to load into another round of alien swarm just to get back to the main menu.
Weapon should already have ammo installed when equipped
Should not have been happen to phase/glitch/run through the door.
should work.
TO GET AMMO
Be able to get into the game.
don't get a Crimestat
Respawn without a model bug!
Nothing should happen.
Both hands should be holding the weapon.
I expected to see the launcher download its updates.
dont know how to reproduce but i have no EVA vest. i have Relogged comitted suicide and tried on other suits says i have it equipped. when i go into space i survive but have no control
The dot or crosshair should not dissapear
The Finger should not be as long as seen on the screenshot.
Expect guns for ship to have ammunition when ship spawns.
I expected the missile launchers to deploy at least once I lock missiles or when I am in combat mode.
Pirates die.
All Tarantulas should have ammo and be able to reload ammo.
The room to be normal
nothing not possible to press botton
I should see the whole Gemini radar, being its pilot.
Voice states 'is off' when you switch a system off, and 'is on' when you switch it back on. And ideally, she would state the system she's talking about too.
No landing gear message at all.
Looking at the Hornet with quad racks equipped - they should be visible under the ship model.


Erenthal
Jan 1, 2008

A relaxing walk in the woods
Grimey Drawer

Star Citizens: Even they are not dumb enough to fall for bitcoins.

Gradis
Feb 27, 2016

GAPE APE

this happened?

Kavak
Aug 23, 2009


Gradis posted:

this happened?

Beanie Babies were a hell of a drug.

Erenthal
Jan 1, 2008

A relaxing walk in the woods
Grimey Drawer

Kavak posted:

Beanie Babies were a hell of a drug.

Looking forward to a fat whale and his whalette crouching on a court room floor dividing up stained printouts of jpgs.

TacticalNecromancy
May 25, 2015

AP posted:

EXPECTED RESULT

I found these a while ago, I thought it was illuminating to see various landmark bug reports:

Bug Milestones posted:

#1:

ACTUAL RESULT
Fall through a hole in the floor


EXPECTED RESULT
Should not fall through a hole

#10:

ACTUAL RESULT
Your character will clip through the collision, allowing you access to areas that are intended to be unreachable.

EXPECTED RESULT
You should not clip through the collision.

#100:
ACTUAL RESULT
Crossing simulation boundary during ejection sequence causes double life loss in Vanduul Swarm Coop.

EXPECTED RESULT
As player has no control over distance traveled by ejection animation sequence, Crossing simulation boundary during ejection sequence should only cause a single life loss in Vanduul Swarm Coop.

^ Your ship and you both die. One comment there is someone who died ten times instead of twice.

#1000:
ACTUAL RESULT
Once I lost my body, I was a walking head and shoulders. I died to see if my body would return, but I re-spawned as a head and shoulders.

EXPECTED RESULT
You'll randomly lose your body, and you're just a head. Note: I've seen other players running around as a head. Not all of them just a few.

#10000:
ACTUAL RESULT
I have infinite loading screens or get kicked back to the Main Menu.

EXPECTED RESULT
Enter the Hangar or Mothership Cabine [sic]

#20000:
ACTUAL RESULT
textures flickering because of obviously overlapping geometry (very minor bug)

EXPECTED RESULT
no texture flickering

Given I've no real connection to the game beyond the videos of a dancing cat, I have to wonder how many of these have actually been fixed.

Tippis
Mar 21, 2008

It's yet another day in the wasteland.

Maldoror posted:

that girls face hee hee she so embarrassed her bun fuked up

Nah. It's just the smarter of the bunch.

Engineer bunny awaaaay!

AP
Jul 12, 2004

One Ring to fool them all
One Ring to find them
One Ring to milk them all
and pockets fully line them
Grimey Drawer
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NERLlrhHdm8&t=134s

CiG are running out of money.

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Beer4TheBeerGod
Aug 23, 2004
Exciting Lemon

alphabettitouretti posted:

If you've not read it, Morgan's Altered Carbon is an ace cyberpunk noir novel. Highly recommended.

There's a Netflix adaptation on the way too.

Thanks!

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