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Rockman Reserve
Oct 2, 2007

"Carbons? Purge? What are you talking about?!"

chitoryu12 posted:

This might surprise you and cause you to question some of the stuff you've done in the past, but it doesn't really count as consent if you coerce the woman into consenting.

Hey guys look, perpetually insulted and offended chitoryu12 thinks I'm a rapist because I pointed out that words have meanings!

Don't you have a children's birthday cake to be emotionally scarred for life over?

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EmmyOk
Aug 11, 2013

PYF needs to just shut the gently caress about rape in every single lighthearted internet thread imo, the pedantic bullshit was way better than this :wooper:

Drunk Tomato
Apr 23, 2010

If God wanted us sober,
He'd knock the glass over.

EmmyOk posted:

PYF needs to just shut the gently caress about rape in every single lighthearted internet thread imo, the pedantic bullshit was way better than this :wooper:



Like being body-positive is great, but maybe being terrified of your own weight isn't really being "positive"?

oldpainless
Oct 30, 2009

This 📆 post brought to you by RAID💥: SHADOW LEGENDS👥.
RAID💥: SHADOW LEGENDS 👥 - It's for your phone📲TM™ #ad📢

I would like links to these studies

oldpainless
Oct 30, 2009

This 📆 post brought to you by RAID💥: SHADOW LEGENDS👥.
RAID💥: SHADOW LEGENDS 👥 - It's for your phone📲TM™ #ad📢

Sausage links

Redrum and Coke
Feb 25, 2006

wAstIng 10 bUcks ON an aVaTar iS StUpid

EmmyOk posted:

PYF needs to just shut the gently caress about rape in every single lighthearted internet thread imo, the pedantic bullshit was way better than this :wooper:



I would like to recommend that everyone finds THE ONE doctor that refuses to follow medical consensus.

cash crab
Apr 5, 2015

all the time i am eating from the trashcan. the name of this trashcan is ideology



No one's gay for Evilreaver


EmmyOk posted:

PYF needs to just shut the gently caress about rape in every single lighthearted internet thread imo, the pedantic bullshit was way better than this :wooper:



:agreed: and also ha-ha at the screenshot. Maybe she Hulked out on a nurse on a past visit and they're all scared to make her mad now

Tunicate
May 15, 2012

cash crab posted:

Maybe she Sulked out on a nurse on a past visit and they're all too fremdschämed to make her sad now

EmmyOk
Aug 11, 2013

My favourite part is it sounds like these studies have been hidden away or oppressed by the fat shaming ruling class.

Rockman Reserve
Oct 2, 2007

"Carbons? Purge? What are you talking about?!"

I find it very believable that that man has no idea about a lot of things.

EmmyOk
Aug 11, 2013

I believe he sent it I don't believe he did it by accident. Accidental selfies are great too







Joey Freshwater
Jun 20, 2004

Always playing with my meat
Grimey Drawer

If my camera randomly started taking pictures of me on it's own I don't think the first thing I'd do was post them on facebook.

GOTTA STAY FAI
Mar 24, 2005

~no glitter in the gutter~
~no twilight galaxy~
College Slice

Cared so little he didn't plug his phone in to charge after getting an "accidental" shot of your tits and clam

drat

Thin Privilege
Jul 8, 2009
IM A STUPID MORON WITH AN UGLY FACE AND A BIG BUTT AND MY BUTT SMELLS AND I LIKE TO KISS MY OWN BUTT
Gravy Boat 2k

Ryoshi posted:

Wanting to be intimate with your wife = being a rapist, you heard it here first folks!

Dude's an rear end in a top hat sure but Thin Privilege is a goddamn moron.

I know I'm just feeding a troll but

-guy is frustrated about no sex, ok this is fine
-guy yells at wife about it in abusive way
-wife touches guys dick
-he "literally goes to town on her rear end" & afaik most ppl don't willingly do anal and the way he wrote it is creepy and gross and imo is rapey



For content here's a lighthearted Pokemon adventure

quote:

Preserving Life, 1-Up At A Time
RETAIL, VIDEO GAME STORE | CALIFORNIA, USA | TOP
(Note: Pokemon is a game with various creatures that simulate animals in it. When a Pokemon has no hit points, or HP, is is considered “fainted.” Many mistake this for something serious, but it is easily remedied by healing your Pokemon in a specific building.)

Customer: *storms up to desk* “I DEMAND A REFUND!”

(She slams a copy of Pokemon Platinum on the counter.)

Me: “Certainly, what seems to be the problem?”

Customer: “My freaking fire monkey DIED! See?”

(She pulls the DS from her pocket, turns it on, enters game, and shows me that her Pokemon [a chimchar] has no HP.)

Me: “Well, I can…erm…revive your ‘fire monkey’ if you’d like.”

Customer: “What are you, some freaking Pokemon priest?! MY FIRE MONKEY IS DEAD!”

Me: “No, no, look.”

(I control her character to go to a Pokemon Center and heal up her Pokemon.)

Me: “There, all better.”

Customer: “THANK YOU! YOU SAVED MY FIRE MONKEY! HOW CAN I EVER REPAY YOU?!”

Me: “Um…no problem, ma’am. Glad to help.”

Customer: “AND SO HUMBLE! YOU SAVED MY FIRE MONKEY!” *leaves store*

MizPiz
May 29, 2013

by Athanatos

Just so we're on the same page, the stdh is this conversation, or is that just me?

LITERALLY A BIRD
Sep 27, 2008

I knew you were trouble
when you flew in

Thin Privilege posted:

I know I'm just feeding a troll

Then don't.

Thin Privilege
Jul 8, 2009
IM A STUPID MORON WITH AN UGLY FACE AND A BIG BUTT AND MY BUTT SMELLS AND I LIKE TO KISS MY OWN BUTT
Gravy Boat 2k

I'm sorry :(

EmmyOk
Aug 11, 2013

MizPiz posted:

Just so we're on the same page, the stdh is this conversation, or is that just me?

The conversation is legitimate but if you look very closely there's actually no picture there.

My Q-Face
Jul 8, 2002

A dumb racist who need to kill themselves

Thin Privilege posted:

-he "literally goes to town on her rear end" & afaik most ppl don't willingly do anal and the way he wrote it is creepy and gross and imo is rapey

:what:

Apparently as a shut-in, afayk "going to town on someone's rear end" means anal. But I have bad news for you. You are probably the only person in the world who is that dumb.

Unplug from the Internet for a while, go have sex a few times. Learn how it works in real life and not just your hentai manga.

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

EmmyOk
Aug 11, 2013

You guys must think the bible was a much sexier book than it actually is.

EmmyOk
Aug 11, 2013

Why's this dude loving the Samaritan that tried to help him?

Thin Privilege
Jul 8, 2009
IM A STUPID MORON WITH AN UGLY FACE AND A BIG BUTT AND MY BUTT SMELLS AND I LIKE TO KISS MY OWN BUTT
Gravy Boat 2k
More restitution


quote:

Shaping Up To Be An Awful Night
Restaurant | MA, USA | Awesome Workers, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

(I work in a fancy little restaurant dealing with snooty stuck-up rich people.)

Customer: “Yes, I’d like the [Restaurant Name] salad, and I want the avocado slices on the left side of the salad.”

Me: “All right, we’ll put the order in and have your salads up in a few minutes.”

(Roughly 10 minutes go by. I grab the food from the kitchen.)

Me: “Here are your salads.”

Customer: “What the h***l is this! I SAID I WANTED THE AVOCADO ON THE LEFT SIDE OF THE SALAD!”

(I notice that I served him his salad with the avocado on the right.)

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, just let me rectify this.”

(I proceed to spin his salad around for him so now the avocado is on his left.)

Customer: “WELL, NOW ALL I HAVE IS A BACKWARDS SALAD! I DEMAND TO SPEAK TO YOUR MANAGER! I’M GOING TO MAKE SURE YOU GET FIRED BECAUSE OBVIOUSLY YOU ARE THE MOST INCOMPETENT WAITER THERE IS THAT YOU CAN’T LISTEN TO SIMPLE INSTRUCTIONS AND KNOW YOUR LEFT AND RIGHT!”

(I walk to my manager, quickly explain the issue, and he walks over to the customer.)

Customer: “Your employee here is an absolute disgrace! I can’t imagine why [Restaurant Owner] hired them. They don’t even know their left from right! I demand reconciliation and the cost of the rest of my meal be compensated for this vast incompetence.”

Manager: “Well, sir, I’d like to explain a simple fact. We are not going to be comping your meal; your argument and complaint is absolutely ridiculous. The salad is on a circular plate, there are no sides to a salad. It cannot be backwards. I apologize for your problem with shapes and hope you have a wonderful night.”

Me: “So, what would you like to order for entrees, or would you just like the bill?”

quote:

No Holding Back
Call Center | Webster, NY, USA | Bizarre, Musical Mayhem, Technology, Uncategorized

Me: “Thank you for calling [company] support, can I have your employee ID number, please?”

Caller: “Yeah, can you put me on hold?”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Caller: “I called before and complained about the awful hold music you guys use. I want to see if you changed it.”

Me: “Hold on just a minute.”

(I put the caller on hold for a minute.)

Me: “Hello, are you still there ma’am?”

Caller: “Yeah, I’m here.”

Me: “So is the hold music any less awful?”

Caller: “No, not really. Thanks.” *click*

quote:

Snide Salad
Restaurant | Brooklyn, NY, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink

(I am a customer at a restaurant. I overhear an exchange while I am waiting for my pickup order.)

Customer: “Waiter?”

Waiter: “Yes ma’am, how can I help you?”

Customer: “Where is my side salad?”

Waiter: “Uh, ma’am?”

Customer: “I said, where is my side salad?”

Waiter: “You ordered a salad, ma’am.”

Customer: “Yes, I know.”

Waiter: “Salads don’t come with side salads.”

Customer: “But it said on the menu that orders came with side salads.”

Waiter: “It said in the entree section that orders came with salads, not in the salad category.”

Customer: “I WANT MY SIDE SALAD!”

Waiter: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but I can’t give you a side salad for your salad.”

Customer: “This is unacceptable. Every time I’ve come here, I have received a side salad.”

Waiter: “Have you ever ordered the salad as a main course before?”

Customer: “No, but—”

Waiter: “Exactly. We only provide side salads for things that are in the entree section. We do not give side salads to people who order salads.”

Customer: “BUT WHY NOT?!”



They apparently have videos now? They're also terrible and obviously legitimaze the text.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pZ3rK4RRTxo

quote:

(I’m the only employee still working a cash register late one night. I’ve got a long line, and the next customer keeps glaring at me.)

Me: “Hello, miss, sorry about the wait. Did you find everything all right?”

Customer: “I’m so sick of you people.”

Me: “Of who?”

Customer: “First, that awful girl stacking the shelves with the pink hair, and now you with that… thing on your face! Why are you brats so desperate for attention?”

(Two years ago, I lost my right eye in an accident. I wear an eyepatch now.)

Me: “Ma’am, that’s not a fashion statement, I really need—”

Customer: “Don’t lie to me!”

(Without warning, she lunges across the counter and grabs the patch, snapping the cord and pulling it off. She laughs with triumph for about a second before she sees my empty eye socket.)

Customer: *screams and runs out of the store, leaving her items but taking the eyepatch*

(That customer never came back. Fortunately, I have a lot of spare eyepatches, but I had to finish the rest of my shift that night with a paper bandage over the socket.)

Thin Privilege has a new favorite as of 01:09 on Jun 21, 2016

Xen Tricks
Nov 4, 2010
I Don't Even Own A Television, friend of the thread's favorite podcast The F Plus, released an episode last week on The Fat Jew's book "Money, Pizza, Respect" and it is a goldmine of infuriating STDH.

Check it out: http://www.idontevenownatelevision.com/2016/06/12/057-money-pizza-respect/

LITERALLY A BIRD
Sep 27, 2008

I knew you were trouble
when you flew in

Thin Privilege posted:

They apparently have videos now? They're also terrible and obviously legitimaze the text.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pZ3rK4RRTxo

hahaha what the gently caress is this?

Zelder
Jan 4, 2012

EmmyOk posted:

Why's this dude loving the Samaritan that tried to help him?

a new bible for a new era

Samizdata
May 14, 2007

Thin Privilege posted:

More restitution






They apparently have videos now? They're also terrible and obviously legitimaze the text.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pZ3rK4RRTxo

And exactly why were assault/battery charges not filed?

Oh, yeah, DIDN'T happen.

Postal Parcel
Aug 2, 2013
Straight from the front page of imgur




and so on

e:

Thin Privilege posted:

More restitution


quote:

Customer: “What the h***l is this! I SAID I WANTED THE AVOCADO ON THE LEFT SIDE OF THE SALAD!”



They apparently have videos now? They're also terrible and obviously legitimaze the text.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pZ3rK4RRTxo

Wait, what is h***l? It's one too many for hell, unless there's a helll...

Postal Parcel has a new favorite as of 10:08 on Jun 21, 2016

ElGroucho
Nov 1, 2005

We already - What about sticking our middle fingers up... That was insane
Fun Shoe

This one didn't happen so hard, it gave me a permanent sneer.

Redrum and Coke
Feb 25, 2006

wAstIng 10 bUcks ON an aVaTar iS StUpid

ElGroucho posted:

This one didn't happen so hard, it gave me a permanent sneer.

It appeared today on The Huffington Post.

It's good to see 21st century journalism continues to shine.

Weatherman
Jul 30, 2003

WARBLEKLONK

Postal Parcel posted:

Wait, what is h***l? It's one too many for hell, unless there's a helll...

"halal"

mostlygray
Nov 1, 2012

BURY ME AS I LIVED, A FREE MAN ON THE CLUTCH

Thin Privilege posted:

More restitution

They apparently have videos now? They're also terrible and obviously legitimaze the text.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pZ3rK4RRTxo

When it comes to customer service stories, no matter how insane, believe the stories. I've been in customer service/tech support for 16 years now and am always blown away by the insane behavior of customers.

A man yelling at me about his clearly mail order bride not getting treated right and refused to allow her to speak though she was standing right there. A woman who told me that our company was going to hell because we trapped a bird inside her computer (squeeky PS fan). Another woman who told us that she taught her cats to pee on her computer and she wanted a new one. A man who insisted that one of our techs was "killing Americans with the Koran" (the staff member in question was a devout Catholic).

I never had a call about the CD-ROM tray as a coffee cup holder, that one seems to be total BS. However, I did have a customer that used her mouse upside-down for years (cable coming out under her wrist). I also had an older lady that put the mouse on the floor like the pedal for a sewing machine. She was embarrassed but took it in stride. It was her first computer. I was proud of her that she got it all put together on her own. I had a call once where the owner of the computer was 90% blind and the sighted person helping her was almost completely illiterate. That was a fun call. She could count, but could barely identify letters.

My favorite was the woman who called nearly 300 times in one year about her computer and would only talk to people that had a "K" in their name. If no "K" people were available, a hard "C" was tolerated but not desired.

Khazar-khum
Oct 22, 2008

:minnie: Cat Army :minnie:
2nd Battalion
Bike

quote:

This troper managed to get hit by a car while riding his bike through a crosswalk. She had stopped, but was looking to the backseat while on her cell phone! As the car hit me from the right; I didn't even look when I heard the engine rev up. When I heard, I immediately came up with a plan: stand on the pedals, jam the handlebars hard to the left, roll onto, then off of the hood of the car, and land on my feet. Which is what happened, except I forgot to take into account a little concept called "momentum". I ended up landing on my rear end, and noticing my keychain was detached from my belt loop. So before I even get up, I reattach it, stand up, dust myself off, when a lady in the other lane says, "oh my god! Are you all right!?" To which I say: "Yeah, I'm okay, but you're blocking the road..." On a minor note, there are better ways of getting a girl's phone number. (She was the first.)

Bully

quote:

This Troper, the shortest in his eighth grade class, once lost his cool with a bully and subsequently lifted bully's desk about 3 feet in the air (with Bully in it) tossed all his poo poo (and bully) on the floor.

Tool

quote:

This troper has multiple Crowning Moments of Awesome ... yes, I'm just that awesome.
Once, back in the day, a co-worker was attempting to install a copy of Windows NT 4 Beta. He needed an install key. I walked up, smashed some numbers randomly on the keypad, and hit OK. It worked.
At a friend's high school open house, I was wandering by when I noticed she was caught in conversation with an elderly woman. I heard "Well, computers are of the devil" come out of the lady's mouth. I immediately stepped up and said "Excuse me, ma'am, I couldn't help overhearing you, and as a computer professional, I must rebut. Computers are a tool. There is no inherent morality in a tool. You can use a hammer to build a house to live in, or to smash someone's brains out. It is all in how a tool is used." ... you could have heard a pin drop, I silenced the entire room.
One day, aged 15 years, I was shoveling snow, when I noticed two teens, two years younger than I, approaching a group of young kids (including my 9 year old brother) who were playing soccer. The teens grabbed the ball away from them and started taunting them, etc. Something snapped in me - I threw aside my snowshovel and ran towards them, skidding to a stop in front of the lead teen, snatching his baseball cap from his head, and ruthlessly backhanding him across the eyes with it, screaming "pick on someone your own size!". Through eyes streaming with tears (that must have really stung), he made various threats at me and withdrew. Later we became close friends and he thanked me for putting him in his place.

Bear

quote:

This troper has been involved with a local fundraiser for a few years now called ''Bearvillities'' which is a once-a-year drag/variety show that raises money for Camp Sunrise (a summer camp for kids who have been affected by HIV/AIDS). Granted, this is fairly awesome in and of itself but the official Moment was during 2008's show (titled The Funk) wherein, because of the '70's theme, I streaked off the stage and through the crowd. Best 2 seconds of stage time EVAR< We raised enough money to send 10 kids to camp that night. (The previous year, I performed with a live snake, but that's not as awesome as public nudity for charity.)
Oh, and I'm also Mr. All-Ohio Bear 2008. :D YAY! I'm pretty. (For those unfamiliar with the term "Bear" it's a big, hairy, lumberjack-lookin' gay guy.)
This one is completely unrelated, but up until about my sophomore year in High School, I was pretty much the school punching bag being quiet, bookish, and physically on the weak side (I Got Better). The moment that started turning around was the day the number one school bully (one who had once gotten into a fist-fight with a teacher) followed me home. Needless to say, he started a fight. At that point, I had pretty much reached the "I'm mad as Hell and I'm not gonna take it anymore" point and I proceeded to get him in a headlock and repeatedly punch him in the face, sobbing the whole time because I really wished he would have just left me alone and violence, on the whole, sucks unless it's over-the-top movie violence that would never happen in real life. The fight was stopped by a passing police officer. The bully got taken in. I got sent home with orders to tell my dad the officer said hi. On the way home, my twin brother and his friend very reverently said to me things along the lines of "Remind me never to get you angry." The whole school had heard about it by the next day and the bully never came back to school. Because I wasn't the only person he'd terrorized, I was kinda-sorta a hero.

Byzantine
Sep 1, 2007

EmmyOk posted:

You guys must think the bible was a much sexier book than it actually is.

"My lover thrust his hand through the latch-opening; my heart began to pound for him. I arose to open for my lover, and my hands dripped with myrrh, my fingers with flowing myrrh, on the handles of the lock." - Song of Songs 5:4-5

chitoryu12
Apr 24, 2014


These might be the first troper tales posted here that are outright fake instead of just embellishments of real stories.

Xen Tricks
Nov 4, 2010
*slaps the poo poo out of a kid*

PICK ON SOMEONE YOUR OWN SIZE!

Fathis Munk
Feb 23, 2013

??? ?

Khazar-khum posted:

This troper managed to get hit by a car while riding his bike through a crosswalk. She had stopped, but was looking to the backseat while on her cell phone! As the car hit me from the right; I didn't even look when I heard the engine rev up. When I heard, I immediately came up with a plan: stand on the pedals, jam the handlebars hard to the left, roll onto, then off of the hood of the car, and land on my feet. Which is what happened, except I forgot to take into account a little concept called "momentum". I ended up landing on my rear end, and noticing my keychain was detached from my belt loop. So before I even get up, I reattach it, stand up, dust myself off, when a lady in the other lane says, "oh my god! Are you all right!?" To which I say: "Yeah, I'm okay, but you're blocking the road..." On a minor note, there are better ways of getting a girl's phone number. (She was the first.)

Holy poo poo I hope English isn't this guy's first language.

30 Goddamned Dicks
Sep 8, 2010

I will leave you to flounder in your cesspool of primeval soup, you sad, lonely, little cowards.
Fun Shoe




This dude has just turned 18 and isn't even in the military. Like, not only STDH, there's a sprinkling of stolen valor in there too.

Fathis Munk
Feb 23, 2013

??? ?
It's crazy how people can delude themselves into believing something so unbelievable.

chitoryu12
Apr 24, 2014

Why the hell would you go running shirtless wearing a plain plate carrier? It's so unnecessarily oo-rah.

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Pastry of the Year
Apr 12, 2013

30 Goddamned Dicks posted:





This dude has just turned 18 and isn't even in the military. Like, not only STDH, there's a sprinkling of stolen valor in there too.

The guy whose profile picture is one glue-on handlebar mustache away from being the real-life Mr. T.G.I. Friday is keeping Carolla, North Carolina safe for American flags

:911:

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