How to be Cool at Parties

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > General Bullshit > How to be Cool at Parties

Jubs: Jul 11, 2006; Boy, I think it's about time I tell you the difference between a man and a woman. A woman isn't a woman unless she's pretty. And a man isn't a man unless he's ugly.

When I finally get invited to a cool kid's party, I can't wait to show off all of these awesome magic tricks.

How much trouble did Malcolm Jamal Warner get in for revealing the magician's code?

# ? Jun 23, 2016 00:44

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# ? Apr 28, 2024 10:29

Chinatown: Sep 11, 2001; by Fluffdaddy; Fun Shoe

bring, sell drugs

# ? Jun 23, 2016 00:48

Jubs: Jul 11, 2006; Boy, I think it's about time I tell you the difference between a man and a woman. A woman isn't a woman unless she's pretty. And a man isn't a man unless he's ugly.

Chinatown posted:

bring, sell drugs

Wouldn't it be cooler to give the drugs away?

# ? Jun 23, 2016 00:49

Hector Beerlioz: Jun 16, 2010; aw, hec

Please pist the video on how to get invited to parties in the first place

# ? Jun 23, 2016 00:53

Chinatown: Sep 11, 2001; by Fluffdaddy; Fun Shoe

Jubs posted:

Wouldn't it be cooler to give the drugs away?

depends

# ? Jun 23, 2016 01:01

SHISHKABOB: Nov 30, 2012; Fun Shoe

The string trick is so lame.

# ? Jun 23, 2016 01:03

Salem Saberhagen: Feb 23, 2009

I know all these already! I need new tricks cause no one has invited to a party since 1987.

# ? Jun 23, 2016 01:10

SHISHKABOB: Nov 30, 2012; Fun Shoe

# ? Jun 23, 2016 01:11

Superior Bastard: Jun 5, 2004; I wanna be on you.

Chinatown posted:

bring, sell drugs

The key is to have lots of cocaine. The greater the amount and quality, the cooler you are.

# ? Jun 23, 2016 01:16

Boomstick Quaid: Jan 28, 2009

Superior Bastard posted:

The key is to have lots of cocaine. The greater the amount and quality, the cooler you are.

For some reason people often think I have cocaine and stringing them along works wonders

# ? Jun 23, 2016 01:17

ClamdestineBoyster: Aug 15, 2015; Can't post for 10 years!

You know magic isn't all about illusion op. :colbert:

# ? Jun 23, 2016 01:17

treasure bear: Dec 10, 2012

it's called the kitchen, it's where to go

# ? Jun 23, 2016 01:18

satanic splash-back: Jan 28, 2009

always keep the pinky out

# ? Jun 23, 2016 01:18

Ape Fist: Feb 23, 2007; Nowadays, you can do anything that you want; anal, oral, fisting, but you need to be wearing gloves, condoms, protection.

step 1.
For the love of loving God don't be the fattest person in the room.

# ? Jun 23, 2016 01:18

Boomstick Quaid: Jan 28, 2009

Lol if you're a fat person and you go to a party

# ? Jun 23, 2016 01:19

Jubs: Jul 11, 2006; Boy, I think it's about time I tell you the difference between a man and a woman. A woman isn't a woman unless she's pretty. And a man isn't a man unless he's ugly.

Ape Fist posted:

step 1.
For the love of loving God don't be the fattest person in the room.

Chris Farley got invited to a lot of parties.

# ? Jun 23, 2016 01:24

reallivedinosaur: Jun 13, 2012; Ogdober subrise! XDDD

# ? Jun 23, 2016 01:26

tazjin: Jul 24, 2015

reallivedinosaur posted:

hell yeah, this would be pretty cool at most parties

# ? Jun 23, 2016 01:29

Iron Prince: Aug 28, 2005; Buglord

reallivedinosaur posted:

h-holy poo poo!

# ? Jun 23, 2016 01:32

Tumble: Jun 24, 2003; I'm not thinking of anything!

Any advice other than busting out a gram of blow is bad advice. If you're at a party with new people and they frown at doing some blow, you're at a lame party and you'd only be uncool if they liked you.

# ? Jun 23, 2016 01:34

SEGA Ass Fisting: Feb 15, 2012; KEEP IT TIGHT!

First, take out the garbage. Then go around and collect any extra garbage that people might have, like a crumpled-up napkin, and take that out too. Pretty soon people will want to meet the busy garbage guy.

# ? Jun 23, 2016 01:36

Solice Kirsk: Jun 1, 2004; .

- smoke and lean against a wall

- roll cigarette pack into sleeve

- eye everyone that walks by you

- spit on the floor

- shove someone smaller than you

- steal a full bottle of hard liquor and drink by the river till you pass out so you dint have to go home and see your dad

# ? Jun 23, 2016 01:36

SHISHKABOB: Nov 30, 2012; Fun Shoe

Drugs aren't cool.

# ? Jun 23, 2016 01:38

Infidel Castro: Jun 8, 2010; Again and again
Your face reminds me of a bleak future
Despite the absence of hope
I give you this sacrifice

Yeah, I saw that Best of the Worst episode too.

# ? Jun 23, 2016 01:42

numberoneposter: Feb 19, 2014; How much do I cum? The answer might surprise you!

do the helicopter with your dingus

# ? Jun 23, 2016 01:43

Jubs: Jul 11, 2006; Boy, I think it's about time I tell you the difference between a man and a woman. A woman isn't a woman unless she's pretty. And a man isn't a man unless he's ugly.

SHISHKABOB posted:

Drugs aren't cool.

DO ME A FAVOR! DON'T PREACH TO ME! DON'T GIVE ME ANY ADVICE! AND DON'T YOU EVER TRY TO BE MY FRIEND!!!!!!!

# ? Jun 23, 2016 01:45

Orkin Mang: Nov 1, 2007; by FactsAreUseless

jubs!!! :/

# ? Jun 23, 2016 01:47

Hector Beerlioz: Jun 16, 2010; aw, hec

reallivedinosaur posted:

This guy sells the weakest weed ever no good

# ? Jun 23, 2016 01:47

JiveHonky: May 12, 2001; by zen death robot; Grimey Drawer

the best thing to be cool at parties is talk nonstop about red letter media, star worlds, game of throne, and sonic the hedgehog.

then take out your dick.

the n put it away

then leave quickly

# ? Jun 23, 2016 01:50

Ein cooler Typ: Nov 26, 2013; by FactsAreUseless

# ? Jun 23, 2016 01:51

Doggir: Dec 24, 2013

Jubs posted:

Chris Farley got invited to a lot of parties.

See: Drugs.

# ? Jun 23, 2016 01:58

Jubs: Jul 11, 2006; Boy, I think it's about time I tell you the difference between a man and a woman. A woman isn't a woman unless she's pretty. And a man isn't a man unless he's ugly.

Doggir posted:

See: Drugs.

But he probably wasn't the one bringing the drugs to the party. So that and being the fattest guy there are two strikes against him.

# ? Jun 23, 2016 02:04

ScRoTo TuRbOtUrD: Jan 21, 2007

Chinatown posted:

bring, sell drugs

# ? Jun 23, 2016 02:06

Doggir: Dec 24, 2013

Jubs posted:

But he probably wasn't the one bringing the drugs to the party. So that and being the fattest guy there are two strikes against him.

You're allowed one fat guy per party. But they have to be able to do a mountain of drugs. Every cool party has one.

# ? Jun 23, 2016 02:10

JiveHonky: May 12, 2001; by zen death robot; Grimey Drawer

if you look around the party and dont see a drugged out fatty its probably you

# ? Jun 23, 2016 02:14

Iron Prince: Aug 28, 2005; Buglord

let me know when they make a "how to have sex at parties" :smith:

# ? Jun 23, 2016 02:15

Science Rocket: Sep 4, 2006; Putting the Flash in Flash Man

Jubs posted:

Wouldn't it be cooler to give the drugs away?

If you're in socialist Europe, maybe. But in the USA, if you give away drugs you're a pinko commie and should be beaten up. Unless it's really good poo poo. Then you're cool.

# ? Jun 23, 2016 02:19

Doggir: Dec 24, 2013

You give it away for free the first time...

# ? Jun 23, 2016 02:21

Doggir: Dec 24, 2013

Just think about how cool Starbucks is, they give their drugs away for free and call it a "sample".

# ? Jun 23, 2016 02:22

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# ? Apr 28, 2024 10:29

Jubs: Jul 11, 2006; Boy, I think it's about time I tell you the difference between a man and a woman. A woman isn't a woman unless she's pretty. And a man isn't a man unless he's ugly.

Iron Prince posted:

let me know when they make a "how to have sex at parties"

The Boys & Girls Guide to Getting Down

In all honesty, it's actually a really funny and accurate movie.

# ? Jun 23, 2016 02:23

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