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Aquatic Giraffe posted:Has anyone volunteered with Dogs on Deployment? Assuming our living situation allows it we're contemplating volunteering to be dog boarders in a year or so. I didnt even know that was a thing. but thats a pretty nice thing to do.
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Jun 22, 2016 00:08
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That deployment thing sounds like an awesome gig. I say go for it! Also, my house is now kittenless, so have a butterscotch everyone: 
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Jun 22, 2016 19:05
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i want to hug that butter creature
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Jun 22, 2016 19:09
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Chili posted:That deployment thing sounds like an awesome gig. I say go for it! That's a lot of butters.
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Jun 22, 2016 20:34
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Chili posted:That deployment thing sounds like an awesome gig. I say go for it! Thinkpad and Butterpad.
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Jun 22, 2016 21:42
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Chili posted:That deployment thing sounds like an awesome gig. I say go for it! Are you certain that's only one cat?
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Jun 22, 2016 22:01
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Chili posted:That deployment thing sounds like an awesome gig. I say go for it! Did... did Butterscotch eat them? He's looking heftier than usual 
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Jun 23, 2016 01:40
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So I spoke at length about my experiences fostering and there's one thing I wanted to touch on, something I'm sure you're all aware and have had experiences with and that's the state of mind. It seems to be you all do this because you're wonderful people, because you genuinely care and want to give these poor animals who have nobody to bat for them a good life, make sure their first steps in this world are ones full of love and care. When I opted to first care for my first terminally ill animal I really had no idea what I was getting myself into, I simply knew the animal would not live as long as most do, but somewhere along the line it became a bit warped in my own head, in some ways I convinced myself that either my presence or sheer force of will could prevent the inevitable and in many ways I made their passing much harder on myself than it needed to be, because rather than accept it as simply the natural order of things, I took it as a failure on my part, I didn't try enough and so on and so forth. Its really messed up, even today despite knowing I did it all right there's this part of me that still blames myself for their passing, like I failed somehow. So I really urge people to be careful, especially if you ever decide to care for an animal on its deathbed, maybe at the time its not a comforting though, it wasn't for me, but you are doing your best and without you those little animals would have nothing.
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Jun 23, 2016 02:38
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Thanks for that reminder. I don't know if I mentioned it here at all, but last week or the week before I spent the night holding and trying to stimulate a kitten who had severe heat stroke. She died the next day because the damage done was just too much. And of course there was Mars last week. As cat_herder says, the remaining senshi babies all passed a vet check (including SNAP tests for FIV and FeLV!) aside from another round of deworming but we're still worried about Venus. At least, unlike her brother, she's gaining weight and energy. We're keeping them until they weigh two pounds and then we take a break. This kitten season has been exhausting.
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Jun 23, 2016 02:50
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Neddy Seagoon posted:Did... did Butterscotch eat them? He's looking heftier than usual Haha, he's still down in weight, it's just an unflattering angle. Since his belly is blindingly uniformly white, it's nearly impossible to tell where it begins and ends. Also, so much of what you're seeing there is extra skin. If I reached out and grabbed his belly, right before he mauled me I could easily pull up a flap several inches up. He's never going to look trim, he'll always be a big dumb goof. Though I know that there is some kind of possible way to do skin removal, I imagine it's wholly unnecessary and expensive, so he'll always have some butter on him. Alteisen posted:So I spoke at length about my experiences fostering and there's one thing I wanted to touch on, something I'm sure you're all aware and have had experiences with and that's the state of mind. You cool with me adding this to the OP? It's super important and you continue to be an MVP of the thread.
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Jun 23, 2016 03:18
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Yea go ahead.
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Jun 23, 2016 03:28
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Thanks bud! OP updated with your quote and this: Basically, if you foster for long enough, you're going to run into some tough situations. Many of the lovely goons listed below can attest to that fact. Should the worst occur you will naturally deal with some of the stages of grief and you will invariably be very hard on yourself. What we're doing here is compiling a resource not just for the betterment of the animals, but for ourselves too. I'm a social worker. I know just how important self-care is for ensuring good care of others. This thread is a place to not just ask for help, but to ask for support as well. I've been so happy to see this thread evolve into a place where people have been helping each other! ____________ I'm posting that here to remind you all to feel free to post if you need help. This thread has been massively encouraging and inspiring and there's a lot of wisdom floating around. Also, if your request is a bit sensitive and you'd rather keep it out of the thread, you can PM me.
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Jun 23, 2016 04:24
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Yea that's why I said that here, cause in a way I'm trying to help myself as well, gonna get a little personal here but I'd like to tell a story on the dangers of what can happen if you're just not in the right state of mind and think you can change things just by being there. This little guy was my cat Rocky, he wasn't a foster, he was mine, he was born right here in my house, I saw him being born, I was the first thing he saw and heard and I was the last thing he saw as he passed on to the rainbow road. The problem is that it hurt so badly that at some point I convinced myself he wasn't really gone, he was gonna be back, I'd just have to wait, and all it all went back to me refusing to accept the natural order of things, that as much effort as we expend, as much we bust our asses for these wonderful creatures, things just happen, either disease or just age, it just happens, nobody's to blame, it just life, but I refused to accept that, there's just no way this animal I spent so long with is gone, its a lie and I refused to believe it, I was like this for almost a year, when his birthday came and went and no sign of Rocky, that's when the sadness and the reality of it all truly hit me, for the first time in my life I felt suicidal, I felt worthless, like nothing would be right every again, that was the point in living without my Rocky, that was the point I finally got help which I'm still seeing and its the subject we hit on today during my session, the roles we play in the lives of these animals, however long or short, it mattered, I think everyone here can say they wanted a few more moments with those wonderful animals they had, who wouldn't, but you also know what you did mattered. Forgive me herder and Grey to use you as an example but, the heat stroked little one, I'm sure you went above and beyond to save them, that little one didn't die alone in god knows where, they passed on warm and knowing someone cared for them, same goes with little Mars. So please folks, take care of yourselves as much as you do those little ones, don't be me, don't make the same mistakes I did, if you feel its to much, back off, if you feel you can't foster for awhile, then don't nobody will judge you, but please stay safe, because without you nothing happens and those little ones have nobody to be there for them. Thank you and god bless you all, or whatever deity you believe in, if you don't that's also fine.
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Jun 23, 2016 05:44
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It's interesting, because the truth of the matter is, no matter how many times we tell ourselves that we helped, contributed, or supported an animal in need, we all know that it goes both ways. I won't say that animals know they're looking after us, but we certainly do derive an awful lot from having them around. Pet ownership is a really weird thing that way. I've lost plenty of pets throughout my life, including a recent foster kitten last year. Part of my eventual acceptance of the situation was in acknowledging that some of what I was feeling was guilt over being selfish. I didn't just feel like a failure, part of me felt like I was abandoned too. hosed up though it may sound, it's the truth. As is often the case for me, I found out how I felt when I was listening to a song. This song in particular: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=itTJhMSDe3U Something about the lyric "Dying's just another way to leave the ones you love" was what ultimately snapped it into focus for me. I'll never forget the road I was driving on when it came on in my car. A lot of my feelings around that loss were, and remain, confusing. I'm still working on it but ultimately, I'm at a place now where I marvel at the beauty of how we all deal with grief. In a way, it's kind of beautiful. We all have our process and no process is wrong. So, Alteisen, while your journey was a long and tough one, you didn't make any mistakes. You couldn't possibly know how you would handle that specific loss. You took some chances and tried to help. It's important for people to self-assess and confirm their readiness as you said. There is, however, nothing wrong with how you dealt with your grief. I just wish we could have been there to help you.
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Jun 23, 2016 06:10
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I can understand what you mean by feelings of abandonment. Where it be a foster or our pet, we sometimes get a little ahead of ourselves and think on the life there going to lead, the things you'll do, the time spent together, then the unthinkable happens you're left with a broken heart and unfulfilled promises, we're sad over their passing but deep down there's a hint of anger there as well, anger over being abandoned, how dare they leave us when I had so many things in store for them planned. Eventually we realize how stupid we are but yea, I can perfectly understand those feelings.
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Jun 23, 2016 06:33
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Alteisen posted:I can understand what you mean by feelings of abandonment. This is how I felt with my little kitten Eddie. He was the absolute sweetest animal in the entire world and even if I only had him for a little over a week and I tried to prepare myself for the worst, I loved him with all my heart. How could I not? He would climb up onto my chest and just put his head on my shoulder or under my chin and sit there all day and nap or play with my hands, and if I put him down he would cry and follow me around until I picked him back up. I was hurt when he died but I was also angry, all the work and money and energy I put in and the day after being given a clean bill of health and all good scans, he deteriorates and then just falls asleep and dies within a few hours. And it felt like such a "wow, why would I expect anything different?" moment too, because that tends to just be how life goes for me and my family, we have plans and expectations and life finds a new way of ruining it all no matter how reasonable or how well prepared we are, and it just had to go for my little Eddie too.
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Jun 23, 2016 06:39
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Safari Disco Lion posted:This is how I felt with my little kitten Eddie. He was the absolute sweetest animal in the entire world and even if I only had him for a little over a week and I tried to prepare myself for the worst, I loved him with all my heart. How could I not? He would climb up onto my chest and just put his head on my shoulder or under my chin and sit there all day and nap or play with my hands, and if I put him down he would cry and follow me around until I picked him back up. I was hurt when he died but I was also angry, all the work and money and energy I put in and the day after being given a clean bill of health and all good scans, he deteriorates and then just falls asleep and dies within a few hours. And it felt like such a "wow, why would I expect anything different?" moment too, because that tends to just be how life goes for me and my family, we have plans and expectations and life finds a new way of ruining it all no matter how reasonable or how well prepared we are, and it just had to go for my little Eddie too. Yep I can understand this sentiment perfectly. Small story time, few years back I managed to coax this stray that used to hang around my house into a kennel I had in the back, she was MASSIVELY pregnant like good god I had never seen a cat that looked like that, it didn't help that she was a small cat in the first place, we where having some bad storms lately and I didn't want her to give birth in unstable conditions so I put her in there while she gave birth which wasn't long, about 2 days later I woke up to 4 little fuzz balls nursing, anyway several months pass, I gave away 2 of the little ones and kept fluffy and stephano, stephano was a persian mix, beautiful and fluffy was a totally white kitty cat, here's a picture of him inspecting my dirty rear end desk.  Anyway a few more months pass, been like 7 months or so at that point, momma and the kids where fixed so no more babies for any of them and vaccinated, at that point I was committed to keeping all 3, one night I put em into the kennel like normal, feed them, kiss em goodnight and off I go to sleep myself, next day I go downstairs and fluffy's lying dead on the floor of the kennel, apparently he had a stroke, completely fine one moment, seemingly looking forward to a life full of joy and play time and gone the next, it really messes you up, it kills your optimism in a lot of a ways and makes you unsure of life in general and sometimes jump at shadows with perfectly health animals, to this guy momma and stephano are perfectly fine. So my sincere condolences to you.
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Jun 23, 2016 09:07
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Saw Birdie yesterday and today at the Hub, he still recognizes me  and he told his siblings about me too, because his brother Radish reached out and grabbed me while I was working on something else. I found out that before he came to us, Birdie was so sickly that he was on IV fluids at the vet's office. Knowing that, I'm impressed he's doing so well now.to add to griefchat, when I was 18 or so I found a tiny orange kitten at a park I used to hang out at when I was depressed. No one in the neighborhood recognized him so I kept him. I loved him so much, he used to jump up on me and try to eat whatever I had (I named him "Taberu" for that, but my parents hated it and just called him Tabby). We took him in to see the vet after he started coughing and having trouble breathing, and discovered he had the wet form of FIP. There was nothing they could do but drain off some of the fluid and send him home to make the most of the time he had left. The last night he was alive was on my birthday, and I remember looking under the desk to where he was sitting in a box. He kept nodding off and jerking awake, always staring at me. He was afraid to sleep, I think he knew he was dying and didn't want to go yet. It broke my heart to see him struggling so much just to make me happy. We took him to the vet and let him go the next day, I remember holding his paw and singing to him. I still have his ashes. I still have a huge weakness for orange tabbies. When I first met Fish, who I raised from a kitten and has been my buddy for most of my adult life, it was like seeing Taberu all over again. I still sometimes feel like he's the reincarnation of that poor kitten all those years ago.
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Jun 23, 2016 09:59
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you guys are killing me here. I have a very hard time accepting animal death. I handle people death a lot better and with much more grace. I think its mainly because animals have little ulterior motives other than pain, hungry, nap and fun. I guess while it hurts to lose an animal, I couldnt ever picture myself NOT trying anymore just because while its just such a small inconsequential thing in the grand scheme, it makes such an utter difference in quality of life for something that usually has no choice in the matter and most often suffers just to sheer neglect or not being important to anyone. Chili posted:hosed up though it may sound, it's the truth. As is often the case for me, I found out how I felt when I was listening to a song. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4KEEXyRL0qE Yuuuup. And honestly the loss, grief and absence just punctuates how much they mean to you. Alteisen posted:It seems to be you all do this because you're wonderful people, because you genuinely care and want to give these poor animals who have nobody to bat for them a good life, make sure their first steps in this world are ones full of love and care. Doing something good doesnt require an active grasp of the long term consequences bub, you just have a lot of heart and obviously pour it into your efforts. And thanks for thinking I'm a nice guy,  I think i have a bit of a karmic balance and its a little way i can square up just a tiny bit.LivesInGrey posted:Thanks for that reminder. I don't know if I mentioned it here at all, but last week or the week before I spent the night holding and trying to stimulate a kitten who had severe heat stroke. She died the next day because the damage done was just too much. And of course there was Mars last week. You both are doing amazing. I'm sorry this time its ripping at you both so hard. Alteisen posted:Yea that's why I said that here, cause in a way I'm trying to help myself as well, gonna get a little personal here but I'd like to tell a story on the dangers of what can happen if you're just not in the right state of mind and think you can change things just by being there. I dont know about anyone else but getting personal just means actual conversation about real things. and I'm all about it. Although I have a great track record of oversharing sooooo... ymmv for me its cathartic. and you did change things by being there. you just cant control life and death. Still a big goddamn hero though 
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Jun 23, 2016 12:54
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This talk is very timely, FDJ and LAPS both lost kittens today, two for FDJ, and one for laps. 
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Jun 25, 2016 04:27
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SpannerX posted:This talk is very timely, FDJ and LAPS both lost kittens today, two for FDJ, and one for laps. Oh goddamn. FDJ was prepping for losing one, with how fragile Ladybug was, but two on the same day...
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Jun 26, 2016 11:22
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welp looks like the kitten might have a bit of completely dead/broken tail. I suppose we should take it into the shop, doesnt seem to be a DIY type repair.
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Jun 26, 2016 13:41
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MikeJF posted:Oh goddamn. FDJ was prepping for losing one, with how fragile Ladybug was, but two on the same day... Yeah, it sucks. Still have this livestream for a little while though: http://livestream.com/accounts/4175709/savina
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Jun 26, 2016 14:00
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SneakyFrog posted:welp looks like the kitten might have a bit of completely dead/broken tail. I suppose we should take it into the shop, doesnt seem to be a DIY type repair. Instant manx! We had a kitty at the shelter that had to have a full tail amputation and afterwards she was a completely different kitty. Cuddly and full of purrs and wanted to be a lap cat.
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Jun 26, 2016 16:17
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Geolicious posted:Instant manx! We had a kitty at the shelter that had to have a full tail amputation and afterwards she was a completely different kitty. Cuddly and full of purrs and wanted to be a lap cat. eh last 2 inches or so look pretty dead.  dont like chopping up kittehs.already happy and full of purrs. little rumblething and learning how to cat from the cuddly cat
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Jun 26, 2016 16:33
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When I get home tonight I'm going to put together a super happy post, if that's ok with y'all. I don't want to discourage potential fosters, the overwhelming majority of time, it's nothing but happy times!
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Jun 26, 2016 18:59
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Yes please, don't take my posts or other posts as anything bad, its just the sad nature of things sometimes, but even with what I did I still have many happy memories of those animals as I'm sure many do regardless of the time spent with them. Fostering is great and fulfilling.
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Jun 26, 2016 23:40
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I would welcome a happy post. I had a rough shift at the shelter today.
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Jun 27, 2016 00:23
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How about some good news? Birdie is doing great now that he's back with his family and more importantly, Venus has gained five ounces in as many days. That puts her within half an ounce of Mercury! They're off supplemental formula and now eating only dry food. Watching them play is great and I'll try to get video before they vanish under the clutter in my living room.
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Jun 27, 2016 02:54
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BUTTERPOST
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Jun 27, 2016 03:08
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I think we would all feel better if we saw a picture of Butterscotch.
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Jun 27, 2016 07:52
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LivesInGrey posted:How about some good news? Birdie is doing great now that he's back with his family and more importantly, Venus has gained five ounces in as many days. That puts her within half an ounce of Mercury! They're off supplemental formula and now eating only dry food. We put a little supplemental formula into their kibble earlier, and then Moon started throwing up a lot we already cleaned up the hutch again and swapped the food to fresh dry stuff. But now I'm super anxious for her and hope it was a one-off thing.
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Jun 27, 2016 09:09
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I hope so, too! Maybe she just ate too fast.
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Jun 27, 2016 12:03
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OK, so my house is currently devoid of fosters as I'm still healing up from my surgery. It's a ton of work, and it can be a pain to foster sometimes, but I really miss it. I do have some Butterpictures though! He's holding steadfast to his title of personal guardian.  But sometimes, he falls asleep on the job.  We're pretty good at freaking out would be interlopers though.  (sorry for the selfy but I don't have much more recent stuff on hand.)
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Jun 27, 2016 20:53
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He seems to have less existential dread these days. Perhaps he no longer experiences the absurd condition of existence so deeply.
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Jun 27, 2016 21:03
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Chili posted:OK, so my house is currently devoid of fosters as I'm still healing up from my surgery.  thank you Vet apparently doesnt want to chop the tail yet.. thinks its still worth saving. (2nd hand anyways) I suppose it would be like a limb haircut so i cant argue. clean bill of health though, first round of boosters done.
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Jun 27, 2016 21:18
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Jack Gladney posted:He seems to have less existential dread these days. Perhaps he no longer experiences the absurd condition of existence so deeply. Well, there's less of him to experience it.
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Jun 28, 2016 04:30
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Lookit that good cat taking care of his human.
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Jun 28, 2016 04:33
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Alirght, everyone. I need help. What shape is this? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DrX2S8eSNH0
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Jun 28, 2016 23:15
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He's like the ice cream kitty from TMNT
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Jun 28, 2016 23:19
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