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Tux, I tolerate you laying on top of my computer tower for the warmth only because you don't impact the airflow any up there. If you hork a hairball through the mesh and it drips onto my video card I swear to god your old-man cuteness will not save you.
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Jul 3, 2016 12:39
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Found another headless rat behind my garbage cans this morning I think I have a copyPorchcat Seriously why do my neighborhood cats keep trying to feed me, I'm not starving.
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Jul 6, 2016 23:35
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grack posted:Found another headless rat behind my garbage cans this morning Maybe they think you have a surfeit of rat heads and they're trying to give you something to put them on. They work in mysterious ways.
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Jul 6, 2016 23:41
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Son Of PorchCat: The Rattening
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Jul 7, 2016 03:44
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grack posted:Found another headless rat behind my garbage cans this morning Well you're clearly not hunting the local rats very well on your own. They're worried and trying to help because they care  .
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Jul 7, 2016 12:29
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 Booger, you are the worst. You are lucky to be alive and we still want to murder you more than once a week. We can't have any other pets because we know you would murder them, you horrible demon creature. People think we are crazy and I try to defend your psychotic rear end because I know that most of the time you love us. But we don't deserve this torment you wretched stinking piece of midget feces.
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Jul 8, 2016 22:58
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We found a stray cat that was like this. Someone had declawed her. But she could sure bit the everlovin' hell out of you, randomly, at the drop of a hat, WHILE loving PURRING.
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Jul 8, 2016 23:43
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Lynza posted:We found a stray cat that was like this. Someone had declawed her. I had to declaw the demon. It was either the claws or I don't know. But I'm still getting new scars from her teeth weekly. If we werent in modern times I'd be dead of infection.
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Jul 8, 2016 23:52
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Macready, it's not your fault you had a reaction to the flea spot on but it is your fault you keep scratching at it and reopening the scab. I mean, I literally just put your steroid cream on, give it a minute to start working before you claw your grody scalepatch again! Also I'm going to kill your old owner. We've made good progress on you not tacklepouncing my hands and feet but that doesn't mean trying to wrestle my face is any more acceptable.
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Jul 9, 2016 13:02
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Athos I swear to god, if you run across my stomach just as I'm getting to sleep one more loving time I'm shoving you into the laundry basket. I work nights. gently caress off.
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Jul 10, 2016 14:33
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Your cat is biting you because you declawed her.
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Jul 11, 2016 16:35
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Puppy Galaxy posted:Your cat is biting you because you declawed her. that is incorrect but you can go gently caress yourself hth
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Jul 11, 2016 17:06
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Good job on bringing up one of the few things that derails the gently caress out of most catte threads. 
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Jul 11, 2016 17:37
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SneakyFrog posted:Good job on bringing up one of the few things that derails the gently caress out of most catte threads. >Points at Lynza
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Jul 11, 2016 17:42
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Im gonna tell on ALL OF YOU. actually no, but just sayin....
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Jul 11, 2016 17:44
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psychokitty posted:that is incorrect but you can go gently caress yourself hth lol edit: Cats bite more when they're declawed. That's a fact, not a judgement. Puppy Galaxy fucked around with this message at 19:34 on Jul 11, 2016 |
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Jul 11, 2016 19:27
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psychokitty posted:>Points at Lynza Not it! In other news, my parents' dog has decided, in his wisdom, that because we feed him when they're on vacation, we should feed him all the time. Like, ALL the time.
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Jul 11, 2016 20:21
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Puppy Galaxy posted:lol I'll say one thing and then maybe we can drop it or you can PM me for stories: you don't know this cat, meaning you have no idea what she was or wasn't like before the "mutilation."
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Jul 11, 2016 20:42
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Declaw or not, they're still going to eat your face when you die. What comes before is just tenderizing.
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Jul 11, 2016 20:55
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Is it ok to un-helldump here? I got Misha as a buddy for Vanya after Katya died, but Misha's a dumb rear end in a top hat who doesn't know when to stop playing so Vanya ended up with scars on his neck and an antisocial nature. After I moved, my parents took Misha but Vanya spent literally like 3 years hiding between boxes in the basement and darting upstairs for a furtive meal. A few months ago I was like gently caress it, it would be nice to have a cat who will not bolt in fear and disappear for three days, so I got Lydia. She's a rescue from an abandoned house in Indiana. She will follow me into the kitchen even if I'm just moving through it because OMG THERE IS FOOD HERE I LOVE FOOD I MAY NEVER SEE FOOD AGAIN, but the funny thing is, she wrestles Vanya and then it turns into kitty kisses, and even if she's off in another room he naps on the mat by the porch and I think this might be the most daylight he's seen in years. I'll be reading on the couch and hear them behind me getting all slurpy. Vanya even deigns to be petted now, plus tummy rubs. I think this may be the only situation I've ever heard of where adding a cat to a cat problem actually makes it better.
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Jul 11, 2016 21:13
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Malachite_Dragon posted:Athos I swear to god, if you run across my stomach just as I'm getting to sleep one more loving time I'm shoving you into the laundry basket. I work nights. gently caress off. I can definitely sympathize on this one, although Tuna typically does it when I'm trying to bask in the warm glow of not actually needing to wake up for another hour, with the occasional exciting variants of "accidentally bodyslam Hats' stomach" and "go get paws nice and wet first and then apply directly to the stomach". This is after I've already gotten up to feed him and gone back to bed. Darnit Tuna,I let you sleep in all day, why can't you let me have an hour? 
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Jul 11, 2016 21:42
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Okay, so not only is Red one sad assed broken dog with a new pair of barn kitten followers, now they have taken to sleeping with her. Wrestling kittens all drat night long in my tent trailer. Kibbles and Bitz, I hope a coyote gets you. 
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Jul 11, 2016 22:58
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mcbagpipes posted:Okay, so not only is Red one sad assed broken dog with a new pair of barn kitten followers, now they have taken to sleeping with her. Wrestling kittens all drat night long in my tent trailer.
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Jul 12, 2016 00:17
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A friend of ours recently purchased 100+ acres of foothill property next to the Canadian Rockies. We moved our tent trailer out there and have been helping out on weekends. The kittens seem to love the trailer and the dog. I think they like the trailer because it is warm and the dog because she is dysfunctional and protective of them. I will admit that after running a chainsaw for most of a day, having kittens jump on your head at night gets old.
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Jul 12, 2016 06:20
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Rufus if you're going to keep piling up your blankets and humping them don't come and whine and headbutt me until I lay them flat again you stupid trash mutt!
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Jul 13, 2016 05:09
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Shackleton I know you love being in the window so you get all the adoration from people walking past but I swear to god if you ever jump up there just to puke all over the curtains again I am going to turn you into mittens. You don't even look loving guilty 
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Jul 13, 2016 11:04
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DigitalRaven posted:Shackleton I know you love being in the window so you get all the adoration from people walking past but I swear to god if you ever jump up there just to puke all over the curtains again I am going to turn you into mittens. Of course not! Shackleton did nothing wrong 
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Jul 13, 2016 12:09
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Stupid moron stop missing the litter box and peeing on the floor! I know you're not sick cause I just took you to the vet, you're just stupid.
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Jul 14, 2016 00:17
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godammit roger stay out of the pantry  
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Jul 16, 2016 05:54
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Why do you all poo at the same time? Most days the litter boxes are pretty clean but then some days, like today, I walk into the room into a nuclear bomb cloud of poo smell, only to find 500000000 pieces of poo in the litter box. Are you synchronizing this? Do YOU enjoy it?
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Jul 22, 2016 13:31
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Six-Of-Hearts posted:God damnit, cat. It was cute the first time you pretended you wanted to cuddle just so you could plant a nose spot on my glasses. Its become less so a dozen times later. Cat just wants to sniff your eyeball. I have one that likes that too. It's loving weird, but, well, cats. Johnny, I love you. You're adorable. But goddamn. We got you because two dogs are better than one, and Maggie loves the hell out of you, and you have so much fun together. But. Maggie never barked at anything outside of "actual unknown person attempting to enter the house" and now, since you bark at your goddamn shadow, she and you bark at everything. Thanks for that. 
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Jul 23, 2016 00:33
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Onca, I know you use your litter trays during the day when I am at work. So why do you run around yelling like a moron when I get home from work, and then start doing your "I am about to pee on this" move everywhere, until I physically put you in your litterbox, at which point you pee copiously and without complaint, before returning to acting (relatively) normal? You do not need supervision to pee. Stop being weird.
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Jul 25, 2016 17:55
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Flea infestation (my fault, not he cat's) and I live with two other people. Flea problem is my fault, no two ways about that. I don't need to be texted at 9am every day about whatever new development is happening, I don't need the people doing NOTHING TO HELP telling me that there are, in fact, still fleas in the house. When you here about a mid-western guy going to prison for burning his house to the ground with his roommates still inside, please send this post along to CNN for me, TIA.
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Jul 27, 2016 05:28
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 Waffles, if you are going to threaten me, at least pretend that you give a gently caress.
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Jul 27, 2016 15:12
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pooter03 posted:
dems happy toes 
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Jul 27, 2016 15:33
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pooter03 posted:
lol waffles
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Jul 27, 2016 17:08
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Sampson, If you eat another god drat sock, I will not be the one who has to pull it from your rear end. Also, stop eating loving toilet paper. Matter of fact, If its not in kibble form, just gently caress off entirely. 
Sneaky Wombat fucked around with this message at 23:58 on Jul 31, 2016 |
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Jul 31, 2016 23:53
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pooter03 posted:
Is this an audition tape from the Wolverine Blu-Ray?
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Aug 1, 2016 03:57
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Belle, I'm really happy you came home after being lost the whole weekend. But did you have to make your noisy, triumphant return at midnight on Sunday?
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Aug 1, 2016 10:21
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Sneaky Wombat posted:Sampson, If you eat another god drat sock, I will not be the one who has to pull it from your rear end. Sampson you silly bugger
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Aug 2, 2016 06:34
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