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SpaceGoatFarts
Jan 5, 2010

sic transit gloria mundi


Nap Ghost
LOOK ON MY WORKS AND DESPAIR!

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TotalLossBrain
Oct 20, 2010

Hier graben!

PCOS Bill posted:

cooking it to a proper well done.

old bean factory
Nov 18, 2006

Will ya close the fucking doors?!

SpaceGoatFarts posted:

LOOK ON MY WORKS AND DESPAIR!



That is some palate cleanser.

SpaceGoatFarts
Jan 5, 2010

sic transit gloria mundi


Nap Ghost
MEAT IS POWER
RAW MEAT IS RAW POWER

the_sea_hag
Oct 9, 2012
LOAF FANCIER

SpaceGoatFarts posted:

MEAT IS POWER
RAW MEAT IS RAW POWER



I am physically holding myself back from going into the city to have tartare by myself.

Also, oreo churros are not good. Even fully cooked they have a kind of thick and rubbery consistency. Like PVC pipes made out of stale bread.

old bean factory
Nov 18, 2006

Will ya close the fucking doors?!
why is your meat purple

PCOS Bill
May 12, 2013

by FactsAreUseless

You don't know how to cook if you can't find a difference between properly cooked and burned to a crisp.

cyberia
Jun 24, 2011

Do not call me that!
Snuffles was my slave name.
You shall now call me Snowball; because my fur is pretty and white.

mng posted:

why is your meat purple

I'm going to guess either:

A) bad lighting
B) it's horse meat

serious norman
Dec 13, 2007

im pickle rick!!!!

Funny Food

NecroMonster
Jan 4, 2009


where is the ketchup/A1?

SulfurMonoxideCute
Feb 9, 2008

I was under direct orders not to die
🐵❌💀


Would.

NewFatMike
Jun 11, 2015

SneakyFrog posted:

I never sent my food back ever because i thought it was rude, i ordered a burger though once that was utterly just raw as gently caress. not medium nothing just gooey cold and not just the middle it was pretty thoroughly raw. so i felt horrible and sent it back, this fucker sent out an even more raw burger.


sad part is, this was supposed to be a boutique-ish "artesinal" burger place and the burgers were like 16 something so yeah i kind of expect em palatable and not trying to gag down raw hamburger i dont give a gently caress if its 30% ground prime rib its loving raw.

If a place does the butchering and grinding in house, it's perfectly safe to order ground meat at any done-ness, but it's still crappy that they didn't fix it unless you actually ordered something called The Gooburger in the menu.

Somfin
Oct 25, 2010

In my🦚 experience🛠️ the big things🌑 don't teach you anything🤷‍♀️.

Nap Ghost
Tiggum, in a sushi restaurant: Why the gently caress did you serve me raw fish
Chef: That's what sushi is you twonk
Tiggum: Cook it properly
Chef: It is
Tiggum: My needs are not being catered to by your establishment
Chef: Maybe you should try things that are different, they might be that way on purpose
Tiggum: But that would require me to consider the idea that my cultural norms might not be universal so please fix the food the way I like it before I press submit on this negative Yelp review
Chef: *sighs and blowtorches the already-served sushi*
Tiggum: You have made this rather awkward

PCOS Bill
May 12, 2013

by FactsAreUseless

Somfin posted:

Tiggum, in a sushi restaurant: Why the gently caress did you serve me raw fish
Chef: That's what sushi is you twonk
Tiggum: Cook it properly
Chef: It is
Tiggum: My needs are not being catered to by your establishment
Chef: Maybe you should try things that are different, they might be that way on purpose
Tiggum: But that would require me to consider the idea that my cultural norms might not be universal so please fix the food the way I like it before I press submit on this negative Yelp review
Chef: *sighs and blowtorches the already-served sushi*
Tiggum: You have made this rather awkward

This post was half baked

DJ Fuckboy Supreme
Feb 10, 2011

And when you stare long into the abyss, you become aggressively, terminally chill

PCOS Bill posted:

This post was half baked

Not unlike a bad steak

A HUNGRY MOUTH
Nov 3, 2006

date of birth: 02/05/88
manufacturer: mazda
model/year: 2008 mazda6
sexuality: straight, bi-curious
peircings: pusspuss



Nap Ghost
While I agree that Tiggum is a poindexter whose definition of cuisine is literally anything taken from his fridge mixed with a bag of frozen vegetables and served on plain bread, he's actually being uncharacteristically reasonable about people doing things differently from him for once in his life and should be rewarded.





Tiggum
Oct 24, 2007

Your life and your quest end here.


Somfin posted:

Tiggum, in a sushi restaurant: Why the gently caress did you serve me raw fish
Chef: That's what sushi is you twonk
Tiggum: Cook it properly
Chef: It is
Tiggum: My needs are not being catered to by your establishment
Chef: Maybe you should try things that are different, they might be that way on purpose
Tiggum: But that would require me to consider the idea that my cultural norms might not be universal so please fix the food the way I like it before I press submit on this negative Yelp review
Chef: *sighs and blowtorches the already-served sushi*
Tiggum: You have made this rather awkward

How far does this go? I ordered a pizza with extra onions the other day; was that OK or should I have respected the integrity of the pizza chef's vision? Can I order breakfast at a cafe and get my eggs scrambled instead of fried, or would that be a grave insult?

The Ferret King
Nov 23, 2003

cluck cluck

Tiggum posted:

How far does this go? I ordered a pizza with extra onions the other day; was that OK or should I have respected the integrity of the pizza chef's vision? Can I order breakfast at a cafe and get my eggs scrambled instead of fried, or would that be a grave insult?

It goes as far as normal people usually take it. By now, seeing how everyone on this forum reacts to you, you should be very aware that you're not normal.

Zipperelli.
Apr 3, 2011



Nap Ghost

Tiggum posted:

How far does this go? I ordered a pizza with extra onions the other day; was that OK or should I have respected the integrity of the pizza chef's vision? Can I order breakfast at a cafe and get my eggs scrambled instead of fried, or would that be a grave insult?

By all means, order your eggs scrambled. However, if you ask for ketchup for your eggs I hope the waiter brains you with a glass ketchup bottle.

PCOS Bill
May 12, 2013

by FactsAreUseless
"Eating to your own taste? This calls for violence you savage!"

Pomp
Apr 3, 2012

by Fluffdaddy

Tiggum posted:

How far does this go? I ordered a pizza with extra onions the other day; was that OK or should I have respected the integrity of the pizza chef's vision? Can I order breakfast at a cafe and get my eggs scrambled instead of fried, or would that be a grave insult?

you're a dumbdumb poopy brain

mostlygray
Nov 1, 2012

BURY ME AS I LIVED, A FREE MAN ON THE CLUTCH

Tiggum posted:

Maybe I've tried i before? Maybe I just know I like a lot of salt on my food? Maybe I just literally never eat anything without tomato sauce on it? Who cares?

My brother salts everything without tasting it. He has a salt affinity. He has been salting the crap out of everything since he was a kid. It's no harm nor is it an insult to the cook. Some people just crave salt.

He does put ketchup on schnitzel though. For that, he should be condemned to die.

NecroMonster
Jan 4, 2009

isn't there even like a name for places that cook things as the customer wants them as opposed to proper restaurants where your choices are limited to meat doneness, drinks, and sometimes sides or salad dressing choices?

and i ask this as someone who once broke into a multiple minute long laughing fit while standing in line at a burger king after hearing that a drive in customer wanted their "double whopper" with no onions, no tomatoes, no lettuce, no pickles, no mayo, no ketchup, no cheese, no bun and cut in half "but twice"

rodbeard
Jul 21, 2005

You guys know a hot sandwich isn't supposed to be cold in the middle right? I've never heard of that and I've eaten plenty of roast beef. That fucker probably just didn't want to admit he hosed up. You're supposed to let your meat rest before serving it so you don't have this problem.

Xen Tricks
Nov 4, 2010

rodbeard posted:

You guys know a hot sandwich isn't supposed to be cold in the middle right? I've never heard of that and I've eaten plenty of roast beef. That fucker probably just didn't want to admit he hosed up. You're supposed to let your meat rest before serving it so you don't have this problem.

Yeah actual roast beef still as a roast might be red in the middle and lukewarm, but sandwiches use sliced roast beef and there's no reason it should be anything other than at least warm throughout

SpaceGoatFarts
Jan 5, 2010

sic transit gloria mundi


Nap Ghost

rodbeard posted:

You guys know a hot sandwich isn't supposed to be cold in the middle right? I've never heard of that and I've eaten plenty of roast beef. That fucker probably just didn't want to admit he hosed up. You're supposed to let your meat rest before serving it so you don't have this problem.

A roast beef is a huge piece of meat that you cook once and can later serve cold over the course of a few days, like in sandwiches. I don't know how it works in the US but that's how it's served here and when you order a roastbeef sandwich you don't expect a hot sandwich.

El Estrago Bonito
Dec 17, 2010

Scout Finch Bitch

SpaceGoatFarts posted:

A roast beef is a huge piece of meat that you cook once and can later serve cold over the course of a few days, like in sandwiches. I don't know how it works in the US but that's how it's served here and when you order a roastbeef sandwich you don't expect a hot sandwich.

A lot of times it's heated up enough to melt the cheese, depending where you are this might involve lightly frying the meat on a flat grill with onions or similar or it might not. In many cases you get a half hot sandwich where it's been heated on a salamander or similar in order to melt the cheese (or the bread and cheese were cooked/toasted/whatever together) and so you'll have roast beef that might be warm on the outside but cool on the inside since it probably was only heated for a couple seconds at best. If you're used to a hot roast beef like a Philly cheesesteak or similar I could see how one made using the above method might be alarming.

SpaceGoatFarts
Jan 5, 2010

sic transit gloria mundi


Nap Ghost
ROAST ROAST roast roast

BEEF BEEF beef beef


SANDWICH!

Pomp
Apr 3, 2012

by Fluffdaddy
i really want some loving roast beef now

Pomp
Apr 3, 2012

by Fluffdaddy
give me pics of your worst thoroughly dragged beef

Pomp
Apr 3, 2012

by Fluffdaddy
this one goes out to pcos bill, may your meat be forever brown in the middle

Jusupov
May 24, 2007
only text

Pomp posted:

this one goes out to pcos bill, may your meat be forever brown in the middle



There's a cut for everyone from well done to raw

Iron Crowned
May 6, 2003

by Hand Knit

SpaceGoatFarts posted:

LOOK ON MY WORKS AND DESPAIR!



I didn't eat breakfast this morning, now I don't need to!

GOTTA STAY FAI
Mar 24, 2005

~no glitter in the gutter~
~no twilight galaxy~
College Slice

Those fries are still frozen

icy, like Bill's steely stare as he watches the last vestiges of tender juiciness fade from a prime rib

Julias
Jun 24, 2012

Strum in a harmonizing quartet
I want to cause a revolution

What can I do? My savage
nature is beyond wild

GOTTA STAY FAI posted:

Those fries are still frozen

icy, like Bill's steely stare as he watches the last vestiges of tender juiciness fade from a prime rib

Honestly, frozen fries on their own taste just fine and when I was younger I would sometimes just grab a few to satisfy a hunger craving.

DJ Fuckboy Supreme
Feb 10, 2011

And when you stare long into the abyss, you become aggressively, terminally chill

Julias posted:

Honestly, frozen fries on their own taste just fine and when I was younger I would sometimes just grab a few to satisfy a hunger craving.

justwhitepeoplethings.txt

MariusLecter
Sep 5, 2009

NI MUERTE NI MIEDO
Guys, pcos bill and others like him just like chefs to spit in their food. don't shame them plz

RNG
Jul 9, 2009

I used to work for a guy who did the chefsplaining thing. Customer asks for a substitution on his dish, manager goes out and explains that "the vision of our restaurant is to serve food as traditionally as possible to give you the true Italian experience," I :rolleyes: and just make the substituted dish, manager comes back and bitches me out. For some reason we had a problem with customer retention there.

Philippe
Aug 9, 2013

(she/her)

Pomp posted:

this one goes out to pcos bill, may your meat be forever brown in the middle



Big old beef curtains.

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Ceciltron
Jan 11, 2007

Text BEEP to 43527 for the dancing robot!
Pillbug

Pomp posted:

this one goes out to pcos bill, may your meat be forever brown in the middle



So much would there are lumberjacks lining up to chop me down.

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