Weird News Headlines: Twerk will set you free

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china bot: Sep 7, 2014; you listen HERE pal
SAY GOODBYE TO TELEPHONE SEX; Plaster Town Cop

du -hast posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m3qHepWxn-k

# ? Jul 25, 2016 21:49

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Apr 25, 2024 04:59

Say Nothing: Mar 5, 2013; by FactsAreUseless

# ? Jul 26, 2016 04:22

bzw: Mar 31, 2007; waxing

http://news.nationalpost.com/arts/b...-forbidden-love

And here's your opportunity to make a difference:

https://www.change.org/p/librarian-of-congress-appoint-chuck-tingle-to-be-the-us-poet-laureate-in-2017

# ? Jul 27, 2016 02:21

big parcheesi player: Apr 1, 2014; Also, I can kill you with my brain.

Woman Claims Sexual Assault By Toy In Hibachi Restaurant

There is a hibachi restaurant near me that uses this toy as well and every time that I've gone with my wife and that toy is used by the chef, they exclaim "Here comes the fire fighter" and proceed to spray water on the onion volcano and then spray the younger kids a few times and everyone would laugh.

# ? Jul 28, 2016 13:03

Aesop Poprock: Oct 21, 2008; Grimey Drawer

drgnwr1 posted:

Woman Claims Sexual Assault By Toy In Hibachi Restaurant

There is a hibachi restaurant near me that uses this toy as well and every time that I've gone with my wife and that toy is used by the chef, they exclaim "Here comes the fire fighter" and proceed to spray water on the onion volcano and then spray the younger kids a few times and everyone would laugh.

quote:

One day after this report aired, the Lassiters released the following statement:

"People are missing the point. This was a sexually-oriented toy meant for adults, in front of minor children. We're not trying to make money off of this. If the toy was in a bar, it'd be a different situation, but this was in a family restaurant with 13 to 14 year olds at the table. If people think it's so funny, why don't people go buy that toy and squirt a cop in the face with it and see what happens."

Lol that's probably gonna go over well

# ? Jul 28, 2016 13:29

Fathis Munk: Feb 23, 2013; ??? ?

Uh yeah that sounds like a totally reasonable analogy.

"if you can't do it to a policeman on duty it's harassment to do it to me "

# ? Jul 28, 2016 13:42

Mu Zeta: Oct 17, 2002; Me crush ass to dust

She looks like she makes frivolous complaints about a lot of things

# ? Jul 28, 2016 14:00

Platystemon: Feb 13, 2012; BREADS

Mu Zeta posted:

She looks like she makes frivolous complaints about a lot of things

I�m pretty sure that�s Ted Cruz with a wig.

# ? Jul 28, 2016 14:02

Karma Monkey: Sep 6, 2005; I MAKE BAD POSTING DECISIONS

Mu Zeta posted:

She looks like she makes frivolous complaints about a lot of things

Jesus, she looks like an animated corpse. :zombie:

# ? Jul 28, 2016 15:02

Eddie Whitson: Nov 2, 2010

Platystemon posted:

I�m pretty sure that�s Ted Cruz with a wig.

So that's what that Ted Cruz look-alike porn star is doing nowadays

# ? Jul 28, 2016 15:07

wyntyr: Mar 27, 2006

Eddie Whitson posted:

So that's what that Ted Cruz look-alike porn star is doing nowadays

word filter on point

# ? Jul 28, 2016 15:10

Mescal: Jul 23, 2005

drgnwr1 posted:

Woman Claims Sexual Assault By Toy In Hibachi Restaurant

There is a hibachi restaurant near me that uses this toy as well and every time that I've gone with my wife and that toy is used by the chef, they exclaim "Here comes the fire fighter" and proceed to spray water on the onion volcano and then spray the younger kids a few times and everyone would laugh.

Was expecting this to involve a hibachi magic wand

# ? Jul 28, 2016 19:24

chitoryu12: Apr 24, 2014

Mescal posted:

Was expecting this to involve a hibachi magic wand

Hitachi*

# ? Jul 28, 2016 20:05

Alaois: Feb 7, 2012

*Heihachi

# ? Jul 28, 2016 20:07

Zemyla: Aug 6, 2008; I'll take her off your hands. Pleasure doing business with you!

Mescal posted:

Was expecting this to involve a hibachi magic wand

Do you smellllllll... what the cock... is cookin'?

# ? Jul 28, 2016 21:42

Pigsfeet on Rye: Oct 22, 2008; I'm meat on the hoof

Mu Zeta posted:

She looks like she makes frivolous complaints about a lot of things

Ah los' mah teef!

# ? Jul 28, 2016 23:10

Platystemon: Feb 13, 2012; BREADS

Florida man arrested when cops mistake donut glaze for meth

# ? Jul 28, 2016 23:37

Say Nothing: Mar 5, 2013; by FactsAreUseless

# ? Jul 29, 2016 02:05

Choco1980: Feb 22, 2013; I fell in love with a Video Nasty

Platystemon posted:

Florida man arrested when cops mistake donut glaze for meth

You'd think they'd be super familiar with the stuff. :downsrim:

# ? Jul 29, 2016 03:32

Karma Monkey: Sep 6, 2005; I MAKE BAD POSTING DECISIONS

Platystemon posted:

Florida man arrested when cops mistake donut glaze for meth

quote:

in 2014 a Florida man tried to pass off a crumbled-up Pop-Tart as cocaine to an undercover cop.

# ? Jul 29, 2016 10:42

Gravitas Shortfall: Jul 17, 2007; Utility is seven-eighths Proximity.

Mescal posted:

Was expecting this to involve a hibachi magic wand

chitoryu12 posted:

Hitachi*

Alaois posted:

*Heihachi

# ? Jul 29, 2016 11:43

Stoatbringer: Sep 15, 2004; naw, you love it you little ho-bot

# ? Jul 30, 2016 14:13

rodbeard: Jul 21, 2005

Phone posting hope this shows up correctly. It was supposed to say powder.

Only registered members can see post attachments!

# ? Jul 30, 2016 22:07

Say Nothing: Mar 5, 2013; by FactsAreUseless

# ? Jul 31, 2016 01:25

By popular demand: Jul 17, 2007; IT *BZZT* WASP ME--
IT WASP ME ALL *BZZT* ALONG!

It's always fun to cook a rooster for a meal for two.

# ? Jul 31, 2016 14:09

Solice Kirsk: Jun 1, 2004; .

It's called a Cap'n Capon.

# ? Jul 31, 2016 19:43

slinkimalinki: Jan 17, 2010

Fatal death is the worst kind.

# ? Aug 1, 2016 11:09

By popular demand: Jul 17, 2007; IT *BZZT* WASP ME--
IT WASP ME ALL *BZZT* ALONG!

I much prefer the little death
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/La_petite_mort

# ? Aug 1, 2016 13:57

Say Nothing: Mar 5, 2013; by FactsAreUseless

# ? Aug 3, 2016 09:45

Cythereal: Nov 8, 2009; I love the potoo,
and the potoo loves you.

Florida Man arrested today for punching a flamingo at a theme park.

# ? Aug 3, 2016 21:42

Johnny Aztec: Jan 30, 2005; by Hand Knit

Florida Man needs a theme song.

# ? Aug 4, 2016 02:53

Lady Disdain: Jan 14, 2013; are you yet living?

Johnny Aztec posted:

Florida Man needs a theme song.

I thought it was the duelling banjos song from Deliverance.

# ? Aug 4, 2016 09:53

AlbieQuirky: Oct 9, 2012; Just me and my 🌊dragon🐉 hanging out

Cythereal posted:

Florida Man arrested today for punching a flamingo at a theme park.

He killed the flamingo. :smith:

# ? Aug 4, 2016 18:14

china bot: Sep 7, 2014; you listen HERE pal
SAY GOODBYE TO TELEPHONE SEX; Plaster Town Cop

Johnny Aztec posted:

Florida Man needs a theme song.

this comes pretty close

# ? Aug 4, 2016 19:17

Say Nothing: Mar 5, 2013; by FactsAreUseless

# ? Aug 5, 2016 04:40

Zesty: Jan 17, 2012; The Great Twist

Say Nothing posted:

I believe it.

# ? Aug 5, 2016 08:17

Josef K. Sourdust: Jul 16, 2014; "To be quite frank, Platinum sucks at making games. Vanquish was terrible and Metal Gear Rising: Revengance was so boring it put me to sleep."