Fathis Munk posted:

Oh man who was that (fake) girl that was also a turtle (?) and then her black boyfriend came to live with her and only spent time with her mom?

quote:

Jenn here.
Some things that happened today:

1. Made ramen with edamame, bok choy, and fried tofu.

2. Was so good that I made another bowl of it immediately after finishing the first bowl.

3. Put half a jar of peanut butter with chocolate chips in glass for dessert.

4. Mom saw me eating it. She asked how much peanut butter I used and I told her.

5. She got angry and told me I might as well eat the rest of the peanut butter in the jar since I “obviously want to die young from a heart attack.”

6. I opened up the fridge and got out the jar of peanut butter intending to eat it since she said I could.

7. She got even angrier and told me she was just being sarcastic and asked me how stupid I was. She then picked up my dessert glass and threw it onto the floor.

8. She grabbed a bottle of wine and stormed out of the kitchen. I called her a fatphobic, transfatphobic, body shaming, alcoholic bully.

9. I cleaned up the mess of peanut butter, chocolate, and broken glass. As I was doing so, I suddenly had some vivid memories of my past life as a tortoise. I think they were triggered by the Japanese food I had eaten. I recalled the family I had lived with. I was able to see their faces and hear them speaking this time. They were Japanese. They had a son who looked like he was about five or six. He put a lettuce leaf in front of me.

This could explain why I have been questioning my ethnicity and why I have been feeling like I might actually be Japanese. It’s because in a past life I was a Japanese tortoise! Now that I know the reason why I have felt like I may be transethnic, I am not sure if I should stop questioning my ethnicity and just identify as cisethnic or continue questioning my ethnicity as well as begin exploring the possibility that I may be tortoisekin. I really wish Algoral were here to guide me in the right direction.

AlbieQuirky posted:

Someone made a very convincing argument (maybe on the F Plus site?) that that was trolling. I had wanted to believe.

quote:

I'm a big fat guy and I lost a lot of weight recently (170lbs), but still have a ways to go before I'd be considered in shape. I go to the gym for a couple of hours and 3 times a week. I have a trainer who pushes me hard and not being able to stand because my legs have nothing left is a common occurrence. I'm getting stronger every week, but still not able to bench a lot or do an actual push-up. About 45 minutes into my conditioning I look like someone turned a hose on me and I'm gasping for air like a drowning fish. I know I probably look ridiculous as I'm going into my fourth set of 15 and barely able to lift 70lbs worth of bar, let alone clean it above my head. But I don't care what it looks like as long as I'm doing it right. Anyway, these younger gentlemen about college age (I live in a college town) made some snide comments about me and I honestly didn't hear what was said. Although I did see them laughing about it while looking at me and of course that would make me feel self conscious.

HOWEVER, I hear this woman speak up. I'm pretty sure the ENTIRE gym heard her speak up. "WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE!?!?" came from right next to them and this somewhat older woman puts her workout on hold to start berating them. Then three large gentlemen came from the free weight section of the gym and started in on him too. The largest of the gentlemen (seriously looked like The Mountain) could be heard saying "I'd like to see you do ONE set of his workouts without stopping. I've seen his workouts and they are intense and go on forever." The college kids became embarrassed and decided to leave quickly. Afterwards all four of them came over and gave me big sweaty hugs to which I apologized for sweating all over them. I also thanked them for what they did.

Big thanks go out to the good people at the gym that are there for encouragement and fitness.

puck puck goose posted:

kimcicle posted:

Caught up with an old acquaintance and he added me on facebook. He's the epitome of shit_that_didnt_happen.




I'd block him but this stuff is too funny to read.

kimcicle posted:

Caught up with an old acquaintance and he added me on facebook. He's the epitome of shit_that_didnt_happen.




I'd block him but this stuff is too funny to read.

hyperhazard posted:

e: Forgot the other one

Fathis Munk posted:

Yessssssss that's her, Jenn!

I also believe she's a troll because later stiff just veers very much into unbelievable territory once her bf moves in. It is however still a very entertaining saga.

Bogmonster posted:

Post it then mate, I'm on the edge of my seat here

Fathis Munk posted:

I did a quick google but her tumblr has disappeared

I remember a bunch of that stuff got posted into an old GBS tumblr thread but that has been closed for a while and apparently I removed it from my bookmarks.

kimcicle posted:

Caught up with an old acquaintance and he added me on facebook. He's the epitome of shit_that_didnt_happen.




I'd block him but this stuff is too funny to read.

quote:

6. I opened up the fridge and got out the jar of peanut butter intending to eat it since she said I could.

hogmartin posted:

Being a reincarnated Japanese tortoise is more believable and less bizarre than someone keeping peanut butter in the refrigerator.

Bertrand Hustle posted:

Natural peanut butter (no ingredients other than peanut butter and maybe salt) should be kept in the fridge to prevent the oil from separating out. Peanut butter that doesn't separate at room temperature achieves this feat by the addition of hydrogenated fats that are solid at room temperature.

hyperhazard posted:

e: Forgot the other one

hyperhazard posted:

e: Forgot the other one

Bertrand Hustle posted:

Natural peanut butter (no ingredients other than peanut butter and maybe salt) should be kept in the fridge to prevent the oil from separating out. Peanut butter that doesn't separate at room temperature achieves this feat by the addition of hydrogenated fats that are solid at room temperature.

ElGroucho posted:

What kind of monster are you

Just mix it back together with a butter knife, do you have nor respect for toast?

Xen Tricks posted:

I feel like the line between trolling and not with something as idiotic as otherkin is so thin as to basically not matter. It's all patently absurd so what's the difference

Tracula posted:

Also I don't know if SJW still gets word filtered and I'm too lazy to check. You can figure it out if it is.

Drunk Tomato posted:

Here's a hint:

"Otherkin" have always been trolls made to mock transgenderism, perhaps on several sad and rare occasions glommed on to by naive, vulnerable teenagers.

Drunk Tomato posted:

Here's a hint:

"Otherkin" have always been trolls made to mock transgenderism, perhaps on several sad and rare occasions glommed on to by naive, vulnerable teenagers.

hyperhazard posted:

chitoryu12 posted:

shit_that_didnt_happen.txt: As I was doing so, I suddenly had some vivid memories of my past life as a tortoise. I think they were triggered by the Japanese food I had eaten.

I wish it would fit.

Drunk Tomato posted:

Here's a hint:

"Otherkin" have always been trolls made to mock transgenderism, perhaps on several sad and rare occasions glommed on to by naive, vulnerable teenagers.

http://imgur.com/r/funny/ItWbTzi posted:

I've been holding onto this for years, and I feel like it's time to tell this story to someone. It may seem ridiculous, but this is all true.

When I say I lost the girl of my dreams, I literally mean a girl from my dreams. Ever since I was a kid, I've been able to have incredibly vivid dreams, most of which I can still recall today.

At about the age of 9, I began to have dreams about a specific girl that was also around the age of 9. As a child, I didn't think much of it, just someone to go on adventures with as I slept. We would play in the woods, eat candy, and fight monsters. We would play and protect one another in my silly little dreamland.

As I got older, so did she. We grew up together. And as we grew, so did the complexities of the dreams. We went from some little adventures to creating cities and forests with our minds. Whatever we wanted to bring into existence in our world we created. Trees, buildings, rivers, vehicles, you name it. One thing we created was a skyscraper in the middle of one of our forests, it was tall enough that we could see all that we had created from the top floor and was the focal point of everything. Also, we just thought a skyscraper in the woods was a funny idea.

In one dream, when we were at about the age of 17-18, she even showed me where she lived while I was away, in the real world. She took me to an area of the city that was the more like a ghetto, just a bunch of old rundown apartment buildings. I questioned her living choice, but she told me just to wait until we got inside. To get to where she lived, we had to traverse a variety of obstacles and doing acrobatics I am only capable of accomplishing in my dreams, climbing up the buildings. She finally led me through a window on a fire escape on the fourth or fifth floor, and the inside of this run down building was something I hadn't expected. It was beautiful, with luxuries I've never seen before in the real world, and curtains of many different colors hanging from the walls and ceiling . I remember being awe struck, but in my haze she came up to me and kissed me saying, "I love you." I woke up, sat up in bed, smiled to myself and couldn't help but whisper, "I love you too."

Back in the real world, I was going to school, dating girls, and just living my life. As I grew up my dreams of her and the places we created became fewer, but she and that world continued to come back to me, and I cherished each time I was there all the more.

During my graduate school years I met a girl, she was beautiful, funny, and an all around catch. We dated for a while, and eventually fell in love. I am happy to say that she is now my wife, and I wouldn't trade her for anything. However, on the night I proposed to her, a very happy moment of my life, something unexpected happened and it's something I'm not sure that I'll ever be able to forget.

That night, as I slept, I was whisked away back to a familiar world, but something was wrong. The sky was dark and gray, the city was in ruins, and a brutal never ending wind was blowing through it all. I didn't know what was going on, this had never happened before. The city was usually a bright and vibrant place and it was now reduced to something out of an apocalypse movie. I also couldn't explain the absence of "her," she would usually greet me with a big smile on her face when I dreamed of that place. I looked around for a while until my attention was caught by the skyscraper we had created. The wind and clouds were spiraling around it, emanating from it. I knew she was there, she had to be. I ran out of the ruined city and into our forest, once beautiful and green, now dark and menacing without a single leaf on any tree. It didn't matter, I had to find her.

I made it to the building, most of the windows had been blown out and the walls were crumbling, but it still stood. I ran inside and all the way up to the top and that's where I found her. She was sitting in a chair in the middle of the room, holding her face in her hands as the wind howled outside. I walked up behind her and put my hands on her shoulders to comfort her. She was shaking and cold, but she turned towards me and forced a small grin before she began crying again. I leaned down and wrapped my arms around her, my head next to hers. She whispered in my ear, "Do you still love me?" With tears coming to my eyes, I replied, "Always." She squeezed my arms tight and kissed me. Right after that moment, that brief moment, the wind rushed through that place throwing me from the building while leaving her sitting there. I fell to the ground and when I landed, I watched the skyscraper crumble and fall into pieces. I woke up.

It's been about 3 years since that last dream, and I haven't dreamed about her or the world we made since. I would like to see her again, and have my friend back in my dreams, but I don't think that is going to happen.

Don't get me wrong, I am happily married and am living as good a life as I can in the real world. It's just something that has been eating at me for a while and I wanted to share. I know it sounds ridiculous.

Has anyone else had recurring people or places in their dreams like this? Or am I just crazy?

Sorry for the long read, but thanks if you made it this far. If you have some actual advice, I'd like to hear it.

Drunk Tomato posted:

HOOLY BOOLY posted:

I know we haven't had one show up in a while but i would actually believe half these "and then they burst out in Bohemian Rhapsody" stories if they used a different Queen song. We Will Rock You? We are the Champions? At least those you can have semi-decent excuses for like sporting events and stuff.

Also in general, nobody bursts out into Bohemian Rhapsody and sung the entire thing, the loving song is like 6 minutes long.

Decrepus posted:

Oh mama mia, mama mia, mama mia let me post

Leninboarrir posted:

Internet HARDO I'm Facebook friends with, in response to a video of a guy berating a cyclist: