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psychokitty posted:So's your mom but we didn't have a very good pic of her
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Aug 20, 2016 19:28
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facts are useless
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Aug 20, 2016 20:40
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My AROOOO cat has peen clawing me in the nose and eyes, very carefully, to get only the inside of my nose and my eyelid. Guy is smart. I'm trying to take a nap, AROOOO!
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Aug 20, 2016 20:54
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Thin Privilege posted:My AROOOO cat has peen clawing me in the nose and eyes, very carefully, to get only the inside of my nose and my eyelid. Guy is smart. I'm trying to take a nap, AROOOO! put tea tree oil in your armpits then it will lick your pits instead
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Aug 20, 2016 21:09
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psychokitty posted:put tea tree oil in your armpits then it will lick your pits instead They like my ear wax more  if I happen to scratch my ear I inevitably get a cat coming over to lick my fingers
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Aug 20, 2016 22:23
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Aug 21, 2016 02:18
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"loving fish, stop being so loving fishy"? Where's the helldump?
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Aug 21, 2016 02:43
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Nina, you dumb dog. Stop rubbing your back half on things, you're ripping the skin off your back. You know it hurts. I've heard you whimpering while you do it. I'm pretty sure this is why your last owner left you at the shelter.
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Aug 22, 2016 04:28
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Thin Privilege posted:This is a great idea but I'm paranoid cause some of my cats like to chew cables... Jerkface was silent last night because I actually ignored him so I assume this will be continued. But now he's just sitting behind me STARING. You know, that cat sit-+wide-eyed-stare-into-your-soul type of stare. It is so creepy. You have 8 goddamned cats? How are you not posting in this thread every other hour?
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Aug 22, 2016 18:26
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grack posted:You have 8 goddamned cats? How are you not posting in this thread every other hour? just need 1 more for the crazy cat lady label 
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Aug 22, 2016 18:29
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SneakyFrog posted:just need 1 more for the crazy cat lady label No. No they do not. The label applies for any number of cats greater than two.
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Aug 22, 2016 22:14
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MrYenko posted:No. No they do not. The label applies for any number of cats greater than two. ... wait. I'm a crazy cat lady? i suppose this makes sense.
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Aug 22, 2016 23:54
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grack posted:You have 8 goddamned cats? How are you not posting in this thread every other hour? My cats are pretty much always well behaved (I am a super crazy cat lady) but I def post when they are bad little cattes. SneakyFrog posted:just need 1 more for the crazy cat lady label Already am one. When I go to doctors (always) they're like, do you live with anyone? I say: "my cats" Oh god I'm insane :that smilie I haven't bought yet of the crazy happy cat:
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Aug 24, 2016 02:43
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I thought it was nine for some reason. 
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Aug 24, 2016 12:14
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SneakyFrog posted:I thought it was nine for some reason. 9 for women, 1 for men
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Aug 24, 2016 12:33
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Iron Crowned posted:9 for women, 1 for men  I have more dogs than cats am i still defined by the greater than one cat? I need the appropriate title for my  tshirt
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Aug 24, 2016 12:48
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 You little fluffy deviant. I let you run around my parents garden because you love it, and you break my Mom's fancy hollow statue. Why? You are why we can't have nice things (I love her, but goddamn is she destructive)
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Aug 25, 2016 22:39
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bunnyofdoom posted:
To release the evil contained within the statue and drain it for her own nefarious powers of wanton Chaos, of course.
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Aug 26, 2016 08:50
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Dear Kitty, You're a very loving cat. But I think you're a little psycho with how attached you are to me. You don't need to jump on my lap every few hours. There are other rooms in the house besides the one I'm currently in. I can't even take a shower without you waiting outside the door every day. Go explore the world on your own a little bit. You're afraid of everything and every other person who isn't me. It's not healthy, and I worry about your mental state. I do not have to be in your local vicinity for you to enjoy this universe. By the way, you're poo poo at pretending you're interested in other things when I know you're just following me around. I'm about to get a restraining order.  Just kidding, we're inseparable soulmates.
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Aug 26, 2016 21:49
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Calm posted:
Are you and your cat twins.
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Aug 29, 2016 00:38
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constantinople posted:Are you and your cat twins. When cat+human are soulmates it's really awesome
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Aug 29, 2016 03:02
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You've independently developed this affectation along with your mother, your brothers, and I suspect your sisters as well. As much as I agree that scritches are better than, well, anything.... no, you're right.
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Aug 29, 2016 04:07
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SneakyFrog posted:just need 1 more for the crazy cat lady label as soon as the cats outnumber the people by 2:1 you're a crazy cat person. Porchcat, I love you, you're fluffy and sweet. You're also someone else's, I know your owner. You can't come live with us just because your owner lets you outside in the daytime.
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Aug 29, 2016 20:26
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Peztopiary posted:as soon as the cats outnumber the people by 2:1 you're a crazy cat person. Porchcat, I love you, you're fluffy and sweet. You're also someone else's, I know your owner. You can't come live with us just because your owner lets you outside in the daytime.  
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Aug 29, 2016 20:39
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Dear Tuna, As you are clearly aware, I eat dinner. Preparing dinner is an extended process, and you are very good at not charging in to get underfoot. I appreciate that, I really do! And yes, sometimes you like to sit on my chair at the table, and while I'm going to eventually be sitting there, I don't mind your presence. But why is it that you feel so strongly compelled to touch my food? I set the plate down on the table, and I turn to get silverware, or a drink, or a side that I didn't already put on the plate, and when I turn back to the table, there you are, reaching out a paw to touch my food. If you were sniffing the food, I could understand. If you were eating my food, I wouldn't be happy, but it would at least make some sort of sense. But why do you have to touch it? What are you possibly getting out of doing that? I've shooed you off the chair beforehand, only to find you on the table, touching my food. I have picked you up and carried you to another room, and you have followed me back to the table so that you can touch my food. I have managed to sit down to my meal untouched, only to have you leap up and touch it. Just... why? Why do you do these things?
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Aug 29, 2016 23:35
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ziggy please stop chewing/suckling your own nipples when you groom yourself, it's weird and gross and then i have to explain why my cat has bare titties now that you've removed all the fur on your tummy. we've had him checked out. he's fine physically. he has plenty to do all day and another cat whom he is boyfriends with. but he just can't get enough of his own titties.
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Aug 30, 2016 18:49
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Octofoot posted:ziggy please stop chewing/suckling your own nipples when you groom yourself, it's weird and gross and then i have to explain why my cat has bare titties now that you've removed all the fur on your tummy. Ваня has been checked out for disease and parasites but still does the compulsive lick his tummy bare thing. He's also got the older-cat saggies so it kind of looks like a prop from The Thing. At least he's stopped kicking divots out of his neck and spraying blood everywhere.
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Aug 30, 2016 19:11
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My 16 year old cat decided to be a shitlord on friday. He currently lives with my mother in her retirement on a farmhouse on the eastern shore.And he up and vanishes. 16 years old, hyperthyroid and riddled with arthritis so he can barely move and just gone. My mother is in tears, I drive all the way over to help her search as does my brother from his place. No luck, we knock on doors and all that jazz to get the FEW neighbors to know. (like 1 mile distant either side.) Basically giving up hope, and then wham, he walks on her porch monday morning like he don't give a poo poo. Mir, Why did you go and do thaaaaaaat.
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Aug 31, 2016 01:32
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its 4am kitten. My ear is not a chew toy.
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Sep 2, 2016 10:17
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SneakyFrog posted:its 4am kitten. My ear is not a chew toy. That's what YOU think.
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Sep 2, 2016 10:23
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Dear cats: I love when you want to lay down with me but why do you always lay in such a way so your rear end is directly in my face? No, I do NOT want to smell your butt. Can't you lay down like, with your side to me?
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Sep 2, 2016 12:59
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Minuit, the correct response to me closing the door to my bedroom at night was to go the gently caress to sleep, not scratch at the door and sad meow. You're not allowed in because you claw my neck and knock everything off my desk for attention at 4am. The fan did a good job of drowning you out until you upped your game and started slapping the door like you're playing the intro to Wipeout on it. How are you even doing that you loving goblin cat??
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Sep 2, 2016 19:15
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Thin Privilege posted:Dear cats: I love when you want to lay down with me but why do you always lay in such a way so your rear end is directly in my face? No, I do NOT want to smell your butt. Can't you lay down like, with your side to me? The cats must present to you their Handsomeness.
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Sep 2, 2016 22:02
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Kitty, I know one of the other cats is your enemy but your growling and hissing started a fight between 3 cats and you just jumped onto the shelf to watch. I am glad I know how to break up fights but seriously, you are a crazy rear end in a top hat.
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Sep 3, 2016 03:44
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Fat Cat, I appreciate that you found the one set of blinds in the house I didn't reel up out of cat-reach and chewed through every cord you could wrap your face around. 
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Sep 3, 2016 04:30
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This thing keeps getting into my rock garden even though I put up a fence around it, send help 
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Sep 4, 2016 17:25
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steinrokkan posted:This thing keeps getting into my rock garden even though I put up a fence around it, send help  SQUEEEEEEEE
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Sep 7, 2016 16:21
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Tiny dumbass. Quit destroying the room to get the bird/dog/cat on the TV.
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Sep 9, 2016 18:04
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Well Thanks, Rug! You idiot cat! Thanks for the three half-eaten disemboweled gopher corpses you lined up in a neat row outside my bedroom door! Nothing is more refreshing than stepping on an ice-cold gopher liver in my bare feet in the morning! Word. E: Almost forgot, thanks for hiding in the shadows under my car, ambushing those slow fat quail, and then deciding my bed is the perfect place to rip out about a half a cubic foot of quail feathers and leave a stripped skeleton behind. Lovely. Notes: I lived up in the National Forest above Kagel Canyon in Ellay, and there were vast flocks of fat, well-fed quail. It was a bumper year for them. Lotsa grasshoppers. If you startled them, the flock would take off en-mass with the deep roar of a thousand beating wings. ... I like to let cats name themselves. Rug got his name because he was always under my feet. He'd try to trip me just to get attention. He got bit by a rattler in 1978 and died, the poor dumbass. RIP, Rug. I miss you. Hope you got to Cat Heaven. Or maybe Quail Hell, who knows. zimboe fucked around with this message at 09:22 on Sep 10, 2016 |
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Sep 10, 2016 09:02
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zimboe posted:Well Thanks, Rug! You idiot cat!  Did you just helldump your almost 40 years expired cat?
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Sep 10, 2016 12:40
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