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  • Locked thread
CrazyLoon
Aug 10, 2015

"..."

Moridin920 posted:

Ozymandias is dope

gently caress him. He had to wait until the one true Alpha superhero - The Comedian - got old to take him out, didn't dare face him back when he was prime Alpha male! /PUA

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Moridin920
Nov 15, 2007

by FactsAreUseless
Sounds like the actions of a master strategist with patience and vision to me

:D

Groovelord Neato
Dec 6, 2014


man that's gotta suck having a smokin mom and getting none of her genes. dad musta been some skeevy loser knocking someone up at 15.

client
Aug 19, 2010

Moridin920 posted:

Ozymandias is dope

it's the truth.

dude was:
super smart, rich, athletic, brutally handsome, a successful entrepreneur, owner of a cool pet, and probably pounded out a ton of dudes too

of course weird internet men relate more to the weird, ugly hobo who had no friends and died a virgin

CubanMissile
Apr 22, 2003

Of Hulks and Spider-Men
Ozy watched a ton of TV tho

Pick
Jul 19, 2009
Nap Ghost

Moridin920 posted:

Yeah plus (i forgot thanks Pick) the 1-2 scale people being unfuckable theory doesn't account for people who legit just like "ugly" people.

They def exist.

I like people with strong characteristics because the things they have that are unique are unique identifiers of them, it's charming as gently caress

CrazyLoon
Aug 10, 2015

"..."
Ozy's basically a goon lol.

...well...except being the exact opposite in physical appearance.

Cumslut1895
Feb 18, 2015

by FactsAreUseless

Pick posted:

I like people with strong characteristics because the things they have that are unique are unique identifiers of them, it's charming as gently caress

oh come on.

Moridin920
Nov 15, 2007

by FactsAreUseless

Cumslut1895 posted:

oh come on.

look, cumslut, some people like some things and other people like other things

Cumslut1895
Feb 18, 2015

by FactsAreUseless

Moridin920 posted:

look, cumslut, some people like some things and other people like other things

everyone likes different food. doesn't mean anyone likes rotting meat.

mind the walrus
Sep 22, 2006

client posted:

it's the truth.

dude was:
super smart, rich, athletic, brutally handsome, a successful entrepreneur, owner of a cool pet, and probably pounded out a ton of dudes too

of course weird internet men relate more to the weird, ugly hobo who had no friends and died a virgin

While most of them are more like the naive overtly chivalrous fat goon with a gadget fetish, a man-cave, and impotence.

CaptainSarcastic
Jul 6, 2013



Cumslut1895 posted:

everyone likes different food. doesn't mean anyone likes rotting meat.

Why do you hate the French?

Moridin920
Nov 15, 2007

by FactsAreUseless

Cumslut1895 posted:

everyone likes different food. doesn't mean anyone likes rotting meat.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/H%C3%A1karl

Cumslut1895
Feb 18, 2015

by FactsAreUseless

No one actually likes that. They eat it when they absolutely have to, and pretend to enjoy it as a tradition. There's a metaphor there.

Moridin920
Nov 15, 2007

by FactsAreUseless

Cumslut1895 posted:

No one actually likes that. They eat it when they absolutely have to, and pretend to enjoy it as a tradition. There's a metaphor there.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Beef_aging


https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fermented_fish#Stinkheads

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fesikh

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Igunaq



pretty sure most people in here have had aged beef at least once in their life, most high end steakhouses have it by default.

Different strokes for different folks.

Cumslut1895
Feb 18, 2015

by FactsAreUseless

Moridin920 posted:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Beef_aging


https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fermented_fish#Stinkheads

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fesikh

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Igunaq



pretty sure most people in here have had aged beef at least once in their life, most high end steakhouses have it by default

I'm talking real, rotting meat. Maggots, rotting juice etc.

pathetic little tramp
Dec 12, 2005

by Hillary Clinton's assassins
Fallen Rib
I'm reading through Seņor hoverhands history and this whole drat thing holy poo poo this whole drat thing, I strong-emphasised some choice bits:

quote:



From the way she held me tightly in her arms when I was an infant to the way she consoles me today as a self-harmer, no woman has had a greater impact on my life than my mother. As girlfriends and even wives come and go in this age of infidelity, selfishness, and instant gratification, she is the one woman I can count on to always be there for me. There are many great mothers out there, but none of them quite compare to my mother. She falls in a league of her own. And for that she deserves my praise, as I call to remembrance the unwavering care, dedication, and love that I have been fortunate enough to receive from her throughout the years.



From the wonderful foods that she always cooks for me



...Like enchiladas



Or better yet, enchiladas and rice because it is the little things like always going out of her way to prepare two or more side dishes for every meal that bear witness to how loving she is.



That and her tamales, because her tamales are my favorite. Christmastime is a glorious time indeed.

To the little things that make me feel loved



Like how she still purchases me birthday cakes even though I am 20 years old



And through her love and support, helped me to finish my first year of college with a 4.0 GPA after an unprecedented move among other hardships at the time.

...My mother has always been there for me.



She is the woman who taught me to love what I see in the mirror and smile even when I feel like I have nothing to smile about. From when I feel too short or unattractive to when I allow my over analytical mind to think itself into a panic and subsequently self-harm, my mother is there. I can always rely on her to wipe away my tears even when my world feels like it is about to collapse.

quote:

"The storms of life are not frightening to one in whose heart shines the light of Your fire. All around the weather is bad--there is darkness, horror, and the howling wind. But in the soul of such a one there is peace and light," ~ The Akathist of Thanksgiving.

She is the reason why I have not killed myself yet or become a barely functional alcoholic who lives off of pay per view porn and frozen dinners. If it were not for her, I never would have graduated as valedictorian and student of the year, or acquired that 4.0 GPA in college, and for that matter ever really applied myself to anything at all. I would be a miserable underachiever doomed to a life of mundanity, isolation, and loneliness with no prospects of a wife beyond my own hand.



She taught me to be happy even amidst the face of uncertainty, change, and conflict. When I allow my social anxiety to get the best of me and/or feel like women will never like me, she is there to lift my spirits. Her presence alone evokes joy, comfort, and encouragement to take action and be happy.



But more than that,

My mother is the type of person I can always talk to about anything no matter what

And this is probably what I love most about her. Whereas my father is either distant and/or incapable of this without resorting to anger, my mother is open to talk to me about everything and anything, always there to provide me with the advice and guidance that I yearn for so badly. She is the one who encouraged me to major in English, since pursuing my dream is more important than monetary success. Perhaps most of all and very significantly, she has never shied away from teaching me about sex and answering my questions about it, both as a child and as an adult today.

quote:

I remember back when I was in 8th grade, my mother allowed me to ditch school and we spent the entire day together at the local historic park before seeing a movie later that evening. This is perhaps the greatest memory I have with my mother.

In many ways she had to play the role that my father should have played because he was too weird, prudish, and/or downright awkward to do it himself. I say this not to rail against my father, but to emphasize how great my mother was. She taught me strong Christian values and traditional morality pertaining to sex, but she also taught me the mechanics of it and never shamed me for being curious about it no matter how explicit my questions were. Never have I had to feel odd for talking to my mother about these things, or confiding in her that I'm a virgin, or that I am attracted to such and such a woman. Again, all of which is in stark contrast to my father.



My mother is a woman of glamor and fitness. From dropping thousands over the years at Sephora to counting calories and devoting hours at the gym, my mother takes pride in her physical appearance. She is living proof that despite the excuses given by fat women on here, any woman can lose weight if she works hard at it. My mother had 3 children yet has the figure of a supermodel. What is your excuse? More than that though, my mother is not the shallow type either. I'm sure many of you are already generalizing her as a gold digger or snob, but my mother is nothing like that. In fact, she used to bake snacks for her Church and once volunteered to prepare food for homeless people on Thanksgiving.

She taught me that love actually exists, that a woman can actually love a man who is way below her league. I learned this by observing the way she has loved my father throughout the years, despite him being overweight, middle-class, and a dick at times. She is living proof that the neckbeards are wrong: there are beautiful women out there who are not shallow and can love a man below them. My mother provides me with a priceless model of how a woman ought to treat a man.



She was the one who encouraged me to pursue the girl of my dreams when I was just a shy, socially awkward 16 year old in desperate need of a haircut.

My mother gave me the life that she herself never had the privilege of enjoying.

The youngest of 6 girls and a bitterly divorced mother, my mother's childhood was difficult to say in the least. Her father was out of the picture for the most part, and her mother my grandmother was the irresponsible type who never should have had children to begin with. That and she was mean and abusive, along with my mother's older sisters (with the sole exception of the oldest) who made her life a living Hell marked by panic attacks, anxiety, and things that would have drove me to suicide. But my mother never gave up.

And perhaps to her detriment, she has never once felt sorry for herself even when I wish that she would. She got pregnant with me at 15 years old, and contrary to taking the cowardly, infanticidal way out like so many girls before her via abortion, she opted to keep me, and strive to give me the life that she never had. From sleeping in my father's car to avoid her thieving heroine junkie of a sister to taking me to the park and spending what little money she had to purchase me McDonalds, my mother was selfless beyond belief. She always put me first.



I try to show her how grateful I am by purchasing her flowers like the bouquet above. The green symbolizes the Holy Spirit while the purple is the Crucifixion and the white the Resurrection. But I know that no flowers no matter how beautiful they may be can ever repay her for what she has done for me. She is the reason why I will get out of bed every morning, why I will go to work, why I will get that 4.0 GPA, why I will make my dreams a reality, why I will marry a sexy blonde woman, why I will put the blade down, and why I will face the world when I would much rather give up and flee.

I learned from my mother selflessness, and the value of putting others before yourself. She taught me that love is not merely a fleeting emotion like its secular bastardization via the Enlightenment, but that it is a conscious, self-emptying sacrifice whereby the recipient comes before the giver. Even when that recipient was a pedantic, ungrateful little poo poo who never deserved it. What St. Monica was to my patron St. Augustine of Hippo, so my mother is to me. The old adage that you will never meet a woman as good as your mother applies especially to me. She will always be #1 in my life.

code:
http://i.imgur.com/sjNqLFi.jpg


From his other posts:

quote:

And as a result, you have lost me. You lost a sincerely nice guy who believed in you. And I hope that you are happy. Of all the men you could have destroyed, from the Chad Thundercocks to the real misogynists, you chose to destroy me simply because I was meek, respectful, and an easy target. You chose to destroy the soft-spoken virgin who wears a Holy Trinity necklace and purchases his mother flowers every night after work. You chose to destroy your only friend.

quote:

I'm the guy who drinks coffee and reads Edgar Allen Poe over the weekend. My life consists of school, church, masturbation, and a couple hobbies like reading and writing. Every once in a while I will roam around the mall aimlessly when I am bored and accompany my mother on her many hair appointments.




https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dPQ_Ac0uQr0

Pick
Jul 19, 2009
Nap Ghost
I've also eaten hakarl and it's fine.

Pick
Jul 19, 2009
Nap Ghost

Cumslut1895 posted:

everyone likes different food. doesn't mean anyone likes rotting meat.

Llama face dude isn't rotting meat, he looks doleful and it's cute.

Cumslut1895
Feb 18, 2015

by FactsAreUseless
Somehow I think you're deliberately missing the point

edit: Llama face dude aside, I'm sick of people trying to say there's no such thing as an ugly person

Moridin920
Nov 15, 2007

by FactsAreUseless

Cumslut1895 posted:

I'm talking real, rotting meat. Maggots, rotting juice etc.

Som Tam Hoy Dong has fermented oysters in it, closest thing I can think of.

There is casu marzu though

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Casu_marzu

quote:

Derived from Pecorino, casu marzu goes above and beyond typical fermentation to a stage of decomposition, brought about by the digestive action of the larvae of the cheese fly Piophila casei. These larvae are deliberately introduced to the cheese, promoting an advanced level of fermentation and breaking down of the cheese's fats. The texture of the cheese becomes very soft, with some liquid (called lagrima, Sardinian for "tears") seeping out. The larvae themselves appear as translucent white worms, about 8 mm (0.3 in) long.[2]

The acid from the maggots' digestive system breaks down the cheese's fats,[5] making the texture of the cheese very soft; by the time it is ready for consumption, a typical casu marzu will contain thousands of these maggots.[6]

Because the larvae in the cheese can launch themselves for distances up to 15 centimetres (6 in) when disturbed,[2][9] diners hold their hands above the sandwich to prevent the maggots from leaping.

Moridin920
Nov 15, 2007

by FactsAreUseless

Cumslut1895 posted:

Somehow I think you're deliberately missing the point

edit: Llama face dude aside, I'm sick of people trying to say there's no such thing as an ugly person

But you're missing the point my friend, 'ugly' is subjective as gently caress and what is horrendous to you might be perfectly fuckable to another. There is no universal standard of ugliness.

Some people get off to eating poo ffs there's all kinds.

Obv some are luckier than others in the looks department but I'm sick of people going 'you're a 1, you'll never get laid or have love just give up.'

Pick
Jul 19, 2009
Nap Ghost
Ugly is relative, though most people have similar opinions about it granted. I guess if you've got a face like llama man you just might have to date a Pick :shrug:.

Cumslut1895
Feb 18, 2015

by FactsAreUseless

Moridin920 posted:

Som Tam Hoy Dong has fermented oysters in it, closest thing I can think of.

There is casu marzu though

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Casu_marzu

y'know it's possible to overextend a metaphor. The point is that while peoples tastes vary, there's a large area that everyone agrees sucks.

Dreddout
Oct 1, 2015

You must stay drunk on writing so reality cannot destroy you.

pathetic little tramp posted:

I'm reading through Seņor hoverhands history and this whole drat thing holy poo poo this whole drat thing, I strong-emphasised some choice bits

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dPQ_Ac0uQr0

Holy poo poo :stonklol:

Moridin920
Nov 15, 2007

by FactsAreUseless

Cumslut1895 posted:

y'know it's possible to overextend a metaphor. The point is that while peoples tastes vary, there's a large area that everyone agrees sucks.

There's a large area most people agree suck; I'm simply saying it isn't impossible for people with deformities or whatever to find love and in general the 1-10 thing is hella subjective.

Some hot rear end girl might specifically have a fetish for large noses and eyes set wide apart, you never know and there's 0 reason to just give up because you didn't get blessed with good looks.

Cumslut1895
Feb 18, 2015

by FactsAreUseless

Moridin920 posted:

But you're missing the point my friend, 'ugly' is subjective as gently caress and what is horrendous to you might be perfectly fuckable to another. There is no universal standard of ugliness.

Some people get off to eating poo ffs there's all kinds.

God that is such bullshit. Is the idea of admitting you beat someone in a competition really that hard? Pretending everyone is on an even footing is pretty cruel to the people who know they're not.

Groovelord Neato
Dec 6, 2014


never thought i'd see a mom hotter than microwave's

Moridin920
Nov 15, 2007

by FactsAreUseless

Cumslut1895 posted:

God that is such bullshit. Is the idea of admitting you beat someone in a competition really that hard? Pretending everyone is on an even footing is pretty cruel to the people who know they're not.

idk why finding a partner to fill a human need for companionship has to be some kind of competition bro

yeah, it sucks for ugly people and it is easier for attractive people. that's no reason to just say screw it I'm a monster better just shut myself away.

Groovelord Neato
Dec 6, 2014


the person's still ugly if everyone else in the world besides their partner thinks so.

Pick
Jul 19, 2009
Nap Ghost
Not everyone's on equal footing by a long shot, and yeah some stuff is stuff you can't change. But people on the whole are prettier than ever (no smallpox scars!) so I think humanity will keep managing to bang

Moridin920
Nov 15, 2007

by FactsAreUseless
in general I think goons get angry at the thought of people who are happy despite hardships or whatever but mebbe I'm wrong

seems like a lot of defensive people itt though

Cumslut1895
Feb 18, 2015

by FactsAreUseless

Moridin920 posted:

idk why finding a partner to fill a human need for companionship has to be some kind of competition bro

yeah, it sucks for ugly people and it is easier for attractive people. that's no reason to just say screw it I'm a monster.

it is literally a competition. there's this whole genetic selection thing you might have heard of

Pick
Jul 19, 2009
Nap Ghost

Cumslut1895 posted:

it is literally a competition. there's exactly 0% difference between humans and gibbons looking for partners.

Gibbons are monogamous.

Also I used to go to the zoo and do work near the gibbons because they'd sing to confirm their relationship every single day. Envied that lady gibbon for sure.

Moridin920
Nov 15, 2007

by FactsAreUseless

Cumslut1895 posted:

it is literally a competition. there's exactly 0% difference between humans and gibbons looking for partners.

I'm sorry you feel that way, it seems like a miserable place to be.

Maybe if you stopped thinking about dating like you're a monkey seeking mates you'd have more luck?

Cumslut1895
Feb 18, 2015

by FactsAreUseless

Pick posted:

Gibbons are monogamous.

Also I used to go to the zoo and do work near the gibbons because they'd sing to confirm their relationship every single day. Envied that lady gibbon for sure.

yes, and then you have the gibbons that never mate. There's a reason I compared humans to them.

Moridin920 posted:

I'm sorry you feel that way, it seems like a miserable place to be.

Maybe if you stopped thinking about dating like you're a monkey seeking mates you'd have more luck?

People get to be optimistic when they succeed

Pick
Jul 19, 2009
Nap Ghost

Cumslut1895 posted:

yes, and then you have the gibbons that never mate. There's a reason I compared humans to them.

well give me his number

Pitdragon
Jan 20, 2004
Just another lurker
do all nice guys have serious mommy issues? do they always have this weird unhealthy relationship with their mother???

Moridin920
Nov 15, 2007

by FactsAreUseless

Cumslut1895 posted:

People get to be optimistic when they succeed

On the other hand if your strategy and theory has failed you then perhaps it is time to try an alternate path rather than despair and self pity.

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Cumslut1895
Feb 18, 2015

by FactsAreUseless

Moridin920 posted:

On the other hand if your strategy and theory has failed you then perhaps it is time to try an alternate path rather than despair and self pity.

look, I'm nothing like the people in this thread, I just don't like it when people with massive advantages pretend they're on the same level as people without them.

edit: I'm not even that unsuccessful at dating.

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