American Sushi is superior to Japanese Sushi

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > General Bullshit > American Sushi is superior to Japanese Sushi

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Haverchuck: May 6, 2005; the coolest

a hole-y ghost posted:

Cool, I love my food to be served inside a toilet paper tube.

upon inspection, with eyes, it looks like thats just a sticker that holds the paper wrapper closed

# ? Sep 8, 2016 20:30

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# ? Apr 20, 2024 01:32

a star war betamax: Sep 17, 2011; by Lowtax; Gary’s Answer

Jokes on you op you were in japon

# ? Sep 8, 2016 20:30

a hole-y ghost: May 10, 2010

Haverchuck posted:

upon inspection, with eyes, it looks like thats just a sticker that holds the paper wrapper closed

Good, inspect it with your anus next time you loving weirdo

# ? Sep 8, 2016 20:31

Mnemosyne: Jun 11, 2002; There's no safe way to put a cat in a paper bag!!

QUEEN CAUCUS posted:

There was a food truck near where I used to work that my friend loved, like he would not ranting about how much he loved the 'sushi nachos' there.

I went with him one time and no loving joke, the sushi nachos turned out to be Doritos sprinkled with tuna and spicy mayo

Raw tuna or cooked?

I'm seriously hoping to hear that it was a plate of Doritos that someone just dumped a regular can of tuna fish on.

# ? Sep 8, 2016 20:32

glowstick party tonight: Oct 4, 2003; by zen death robot

sushi burrito sounds like something guaranteed to give you some kind of infection/parasite/explosive diarrhea

what the gently caress

# ? Sep 8, 2016 20:33

dookifex_maximus: Aug 10, 2016; by zen death robot

a hole-y ghost posted:

Good, inspect it with your anus next time you loving weirdo

the blind people keep asking "but why does it have to go on my anus" and i keep telling them its because its the most sensitive part of their body and they get great resolution but they keep using the roof of their mouths like plebs, i even told them "yeah well you know you only get 800x600 with that" while i gingerly inserted my device

# ? Sep 8, 2016 20:35

shoophobo: Aug 30, 2013; "shoophobo? more like shittyposter!"; Fallen Rib

WHAT THE FXXX!!!??

# ? Sep 8, 2016 20:37

ScRoTo TuRbOtUrD: Jan 21, 2007

Zzulu posted:

# ? Sep 8, 2016 20:39

Falun Bong Refugee: Dec 14, 2015; by FactsAreUseless

That would be pretty awesome for dias de los muertos.

# ? Sep 8, 2016 20:42

shoophobo: Aug 30, 2013; "shoophobo? more like shittyposter!"; Fallen Rib

So I guess this dude is Japanese. Ok.
He seems very butt mad he couldn't afford Kobe beef in Japan.

quote:

It's Wagu, There is NO Bobe Beef in US, period.

It's a pathetic Japo Yuppy place.
Pathetic Japo Yuppy= Bananas.

What the FXXX with the Kobe beef poo poo ?
Is Kobe beef is THE MOST IMPORTANT BEEF?
Do you think that all people who lives in Kobe can get Kobe beef for free? Hell No!
I am from Kobe but I have never had it before.
Kobe beef is just another snobish, over spoild, too rich piece of crap for only the rich politician and Emperor family can affort.
FXXX the poo poo.
I always hate the rich high society poo poo like Kobe beef.
Because I am a cheap and poor divorced man with 2 kids.

But one thing that I don't understand is that why Izaka-Ya has Kobe Beef to begin with.
Like the Motsu-Nikomi, this is organs stew Japanese way,
they use chicken, pork and beef organs,
this dish used be a most cheap dish, Motsu-no-Miso-Nikomi, it calls "Dote-Yaki" in Osaka, in Izaka-Ya in Japan.
But, this place uses Kobe beef for the stew, why?
It doesn't make any sense for Izaka-ya that I think it should be.

By the way, what the hell is Kobe style?
There is no style in Kobe, is it?
Kobe is the city has big Korean, Chinese and Okinawan people. I believe that they started Izaka-Ya in Kobe after WW-2.
So, Kobe style is pretty much mixed between Korean and Chinese, I guess.

Izaka-Ya type place should be great cheap place, for regular, ordinary people like me.
Not for snobish rich people.
Oh, Sorry, this is "Izakaya Style" in San Francisco, Not real Izaka-Ya, I forgot about that.
Izakaya become Yuppy place!
I hate yuppies!

I was with my great friends so we had a great time to make a fun of it.
We were 4 of us, a good looking black lady and her Scots-man friend and my Irish gf and myself. We were having too much fun and laughing so much so that the couple sat right next to us, they moved away from us to the other table.

We ordered most of the appetizer.
They came cold.

One star for the good booz.
One star for the parking.

The Food Sucks!
Another Hip YoYo FuFu Japo Fusion poo poo!
I didn't like any of it!
I won't go back.
I still don't like the "Izaka-Ya style" places in the city.
Pseudo-Japo!
Hime goes to my Pseudo Japanese list.

http://www.yelp.com/list_details?list_id=s2kB2rQMnXv63bemRFFo2Q

# ? Sep 8, 2016 20:42

numberoneposter: Feb 19, 2014; How much do I cum? The answer might surprise you!

whos ready for some haunted sushi???

quote:

So supposedly this used to be a funeral home which might creep out some people.

# ? Sep 8, 2016 20:49

Hometown Slime Queen: Oct 26, 2004; the GOAT

I'd eat ghost sushi

Mnemosyne posted:

Raw tuna or cooked?

I'm seriously hoping to hear that it was a plate of Doritos that someone just dumped a regular can of tuna fish on.

Also I think it was actual sushi-grade raw tuna on top of Doritos and drizzled with delicious mayo sauce
I tried a bite of his and it was terrible.

# ? Sep 8, 2016 20:50

Meme Poker Party: Sep 1, 2006; by Azathoth

That sushi too spooky.

# ? Sep 8, 2016 20:51

Ichabod Tane: Oct 30, 2005; A most notable
coward, an infinite and endless liar, an hourly promise breaker, the owner of no one good quality.

https://youtu.be/_Ojd0BdtMBY?t=4

Who doesn't drown sushi in soy??? Also I'd eat ghost sushi or sushi on a ghost. However they do it.

# ? Sep 8, 2016 20:51

shoophobo: Aug 30, 2013; "shoophobo? more like shittyposter!"; Fallen Rib

LUNCH SPECIAL

# ? Sep 8, 2016 20:51

Grand Prize Winner: Feb 19, 2007

how me a frog posted:

Lol you mix wasabi in the soy sauce like an rear end in a top hat.

Wait what are you supposed to do with it? Just, like, eat chunks of wasabi in between pieces of sushi or something?

# ? Sep 8, 2016 20:52

Hometown Slime Queen: Oct 26, 2004; the GOAT

they take you into a dark room

"AND THESE WERE THE DEAD MAN'S BRAAAIIIIINS"
*puts your hand into bowl of spicy tuna*

# ? Sep 8, 2016 20:52

s0j: May 17, 2003; get fucked, round-eye

numberoneposter posted:

doobster dreams of sushi

# ? Sep 8, 2016 20:53

bag em and tag em: Nov 4, 2008

how me a frog posted:

Lol you mix wasabi in the soy sauce like an rear end in a top hat.

It's a good and delicious thing to do. All your dumb proper sushi rules are objectively inferior.

# ? Sep 8, 2016 20:53

numberoneposter: Feb 19, 2014; How much do I cum? The answer might surprise you!

QUEEN CAUCUS posted:

they take you into a dark room

"AND THESE WERE THE DEAD MAN'S BRAAAIIIIINS"
*puts your hand into bowl of spicy tuna*

MORE HOT SAUCE, MORE SRIRACHA TUNA SASHIMI!!!!

# ? Sep 8, 2016 20:54

Hometown Slime Queen: Oct 26, 2004; the GOAT

konichiwa, I am looking for a dish that will leave me shooting bright red liquid from my rear end in a top hat, do you have any suggestions?

# ? Sep 8, 2016 20:56

numberoneposter: Feb 19, 2014; How much do I cum? The answer might surprise you!

QUEEN CAUCUS posted:

konichiwa, I am looking for a dish that will leave me shooting bright red liquid from my rear end in a top hat, do you have any suggestions?

go no further than haunted sushi in burnaby

"LAS VEGAS ROLL"

# ? Sep 8, 2016 20:56

Haverchuck: May 6, 2005; the coolest

Grand Prize Winner posted:

Wait what are you supposed to do with it? Just, like, eat chunks of wasabi in between pieces of sushi or something?

at many places if you order nigiri they put a little dab of it bewteen the fish and the rice. I guess if you want more you just put a little blob right on the piece youre about to eat. I just mix it with the soy thought because nobody cares

# ? Sep 8, 2016 20:56

a hole-y ghost: May 10, 2010

numberoneposter posted:

go no further than haunted sushi in burnaby

"LAS VEGAS ROLL"

I like sawdust and mustard on my sliced churros, too

# ? Sep 8, 2016 20:58

numberoneposter: Feb 19, 2014; How much do I cum? The answer might surprise you!

a hole-y ghost posted:

I like sawdust and mustard on my sliced churros, too

quote:

Pretty scary considering this use to be a crematorium ... but i tried to not think about that when eating my dinner.

# ? Sep 8, 2016 21:00

Haverchuck: May 6, 2005; the coolest

There used to be a place in my town that's owned and solely operated by an old japanese guy. He has a big list of preposterous rules you have to follow or he wont serve you. He has the paper checkbox style menu, most of the time he'll take it and look at it, and then totally disregard it and just serve you whatever he feels like making

# ? Sep 8, 2016 21:00

Applewhite: Aug 16, 2014; by vyelkin; Nap Ghost

numberoneposter posted:

go no further than haunted sushi in burnaby

"LAS VEGAS ROLL"

I bet they call it that because what happens in the las vegas roll stays in the las vegas roll and it looks exactly like that when you poo poo it out.

# ? Sep 8, 2016 21:00

dookifex_maximus: Aug 10, 2016; by zen death robot

Grand Prize Winner posted:

Wait what are you supposed to do with it? Just, like, eat chunks of wasabi in between pieces of sushi or something?

hold the chopsticks points together and stab downward into the wasabi, tip them towards you and scrape along the plate to smear some between them. now pick up and eat your sushi

:goonsay:

# ? Sep 8, 2016 21:01

shoophobo: Aug 30, 2013; "shoophobo? more like shittyposter!"; Fallen Rib

in japan I saw japanese people mixing soy sauce and wasabi.
I also saw some that did not dip but poured a small amount of soy sauce.
And some who dunked.

I'm sure there is a formal and polite way to eat sushi but in casual everyday life it seems every one had their own way to eat it like anything else and that's okay.

anyone who says it bad and wrong to eat fuckin sushi a certain way is an on the spectrum weeaboo. Especially if it's just in some casual little sushi bar or god drat take out.

Also, wasabi come on the sushi in between the rice and fish by default in japan.

# ? Sep 8, 2016 21:02

a hole-y ghost: May 10, 2010

numberoneposter posted:

It used to be a crematorium but now they use another method to dispose of the bodies.

# ? Sep 8, 2016 21:02

Meme Poker Party: Sep 1, 2006; by Azathoth

Haverchuck posted:

There used to be a place in my town that's owned and solely operated by an old japanese guy. He has a big list of preposterous rules you have to follow or he wont serve you. He has the paper checkbox style menu, most of the time he'll take it and look at it, and then totally disregard it and just serve you whatever he feels like making

There is a sushi place near me run by a guy who is there every night and as far as I can tell drinking every night on the job as well. If you sit at the bar you will get free sake and probably asked to toast.

He's a pretty cool guy and also his wife is constantly exasperated.

# ? Sep 8, 2016 21:03

a hole-y ghost: May 10, 2010

They put these two sauces in front of your face at literally every sushi restaurant but I swear to GOD if you loving use them...

# ? Sep 8, 2016 21:03

King of Bees: Dec 28, 2012; Gravy Boat 2k

Haverchuck posted:

There used to be a place in my town that's owned and solely operated by an old japanese guy. He has a big list of preposterous rules you have to follow or he wont serve you. He has the paper checkbox style menu, most of the time he'll take it and look at it, and then totally disregard it and just serve you whatever he feels like making

I would love this place.

# ? Sep 8, 2016 21:04

bag em and tag em: Nov 4, 2008

Smashmouf eat the sushi

# ? Sep 8, 2016 21:05

dookifex_maximus: Aug 10, 2016; by zen death robot

i woulda told that passive aggressive gently caress face that everybody in america loves salt on everything

# ? Sep 8, 2016 21:08

shoophobo: Aug 30, 2013; "shoophobo? more like shittyposter!"; Fallen Rib

Here our Japanese friend Nobu K. goes full sperg

quote:

What do you get when you at Sushi House?
Jiveassroll and got diarrhea.
That's what you get for all your trouble
I'll never goin' in Sushi again
I'll never goin' in Sushi again

What do you get when you at Sushi House?
A guy with chopsticks to burst your Roll
That's what you get for all your trouble
I'll never goin' in Sushi again
I'll never goin' in Sushi again

Don't tell me what it's all about
'Cause I've been there and I'm glad I'm out
Out of those Rolls those Sashimis that bind you
That is why I'm here to remind you

What do you get when you got the Tempura-Bento Box?
You got it all broken up and battered
That's what you get, a heart that's shattered
I'll never goin' in Sushi again
I'll never goin' in Sushi again

..............fxxx.
..............poo poo.
............., jesus christ.
............., mozafxxer.

I'll stay with the Terryyucky beef because it's safer here.

One of the Food Network Chef, Giada De Laurentiis has such a big head.
I think that her body proportion is same as a marionette of "Thunderbirds Are Go!"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2K9rVRuehGU

I loved that show so much when I was a kid.
I still get goosebumps when I hear the theme song.

Btw, Giada De "Giant head" said something funny on her show.
She was in Chicago having poo poo in Chicago like .. Fruit Sushi Maki-Roll.
?
She said, "Maki-Roll."
Fruit Sushi is strange enough but "Maki-Roll"?
Fxxx, Maki means "Roll" in Japanese.
Idiot!
That's like sayin' "Roll-Roll." or "Maki-Maki".
Like say'in ATM-Machine, Shii-Take-Mushroom and such.
Why do you have to say the same thing twice in one name?

I think Giada is cute but she creeps me out every time when I see her on TV because it reminds me of the marionettes. And I just don't like her that much of her over acting.

I like Julia Child because she is always herself, I have never seen her over acting.

Oh, Yes, about the Sushi House.
How about it?
Nothin'
It's Nothing.
I just keep my mouth shut, myself cool and polite to all my friends who thinks the Sushi House provides good Japanese. That's all

That was the last update, he updated the review twice. Both times were crazy as FXXX!

A 1 star review of Sushi House by Nobu K.:
https://www.yelp.com/biz/sushi-house-san-bruno?hrid=lerY8XTjUoTRccvUf70JrQ&utm_source=ashare&ref=yelp-android

# ? Sep 8, 2016 21:09

Hometown Slime Queen: Oct 26, 2004; the GOAT

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bDL8yu34fz0

Please educate yourself on how to properly prepare and eat sushi, as well as tradition and lore surrounding this special dish

# ? Sep 8, 2016 21:09

dookifex_maximus: Aug 10, 2016; by zen death robot

we put salt on our coffee ffs

# ? Sep 8, 2016 21:09

shoophobo: Aug 30, 2013; "shoophobo? more like shittyposter!"; Fallen Rib

QUEEN CAUCUS posted:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bDL8yu34fz0

Please educate yourself on how to properly prepare and eat sushi, as well as tradition and lore surrounding this special dish

needs more tempura flakes and spicy mayo

# ? Sep 8, 2016 21:11

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# ? Apr 20, 2024 01:32

Haverchuck: May 6, 2005; the coolest

King of Bees posted:

I would love this place.

from a yelp review from a couple years ago:

He has a well-deserved reputation for being a bit cantankerous. I asked a couple of "wrong" questions the first couple of times I came in. Lots of stuff on the menu just isn't available, and if you ask for it, you are asking for trouble. Standing at the counter and waiting for him to take your order is a Grade 1 insult. Just sit down. If you're alone, don't sit at one of the 3 tables that can handle more than 1 person. Wait quietly and he will ask you what you want when he's ready to do so. Know what you want before he asks, and make sure you have a backup in case what you ask for isn't really available. Because half of the menu items aren't really available at all.

This is a man who sells food for almost cost, and refuses any attempt to leave him a tip. In fact if you push him on it, he will remember you and decline to take your order next time.

# ? Sep 8, 2016 21:17

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > General Bullshit > American Sushi is superior to Japanese Sushi

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