what is that man doing to his coffee maker

The Something Awful Forums > Discussion > Serious Hardware/Software Crap > YOSPOS > what is that man doing to his coffee maker

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doctorfrog: Mar 14, 2007; Great.

afternoon coffee: "Afternoon, coffee."

# ? Sep 2, 2016 23:16

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# ? Apr 18, 2024 17:04

bradzilla: Oct 15, 2004

Coffee is cool and good.

:geno:

# ? Sep 7, 2016 13:39

Podima: Nov 4, 2009; by Fluffdaddy

drinking a nice mug or ~~three~~ five

# ? Sep 7, 2016 13:51

big scary monsters: Sep 2, 2011; -~Ｓｋｕｌｌｗａｖｅ~-

burnt my tongue trying to drink my coffee too hot, still drank it though

# ? Sep 7, 2016 14:15

prefect: Sep 11, 2001; No one, Woodhouse.
No one.; Dead Man’s Band

big scary monsters posted:

burnt my tongue trying to drink my coffee too hot, still drank it though

they should make straws out of ice

# ? Sep 7, 2016 14:31

doctorfrog: Mar 14, 2007; Great.

big scary monsters posted:

burnt my tongue trying to drink my coffee too hot, still drank it though

please be careful not to do this too much!!!!!!!! :prepop:

http://www.cnn.com/2016/06/15/health/coffee-tea-hot-drinks-cancer-risk/index.html
e: sorry bout the extra ! but i just had some coffee

# ? Sep 7, 2016 16:08

flakeloaf: Feb 26, 2003; Still better than android clock

doctorfrog posted:

please be careful not to do this too much!!!!!!!!
http://www.cnn.com/2016/06/15/health/coffee-tea-hot-drinks-cancer-risk/index.html
e: sorry bout the extra ! but i just had some coffee

quote:

skin contact with a liquid this hot can result in almost instantaneous burns if prolonged.

# ? Sep 7, 2016 16:20

big scary monsters: Sep 2, 2011; -~Ｓｋｕｌｌｗａｖｅ~-

doctorfrog posted:

please be careful not to do this too much!!!!!!!!
http://www.cnn.com/2016/06/15/health/coffee-tea-hot-drinks-cancer-risk/index.html
e: sorry bout the extra ! but i just had some coffee

gently caress!! next time i'll have a quick pre-coffee cig first to let it cool down to safer temperatures

# ? Sep 7, 2016 16:35

Spambort: Jun 19, 2012

friend dropped off a couple bags of some espresso blends and a private blend from his job.
Thinking about upgrading from a v60 to a decent chemex

brewing for one

# ? Sep 8, 2016 07:22

bump_fn: Apr 12, 2004; _{two of them}

had some coffee too late in the evening and regretting it

# ? Sep 8, 2016 07:43

Star War Sex Parrot: Oct 2, 2003

bump_fn posted:

had some coffee too late in the evening and regretting it

Nice!

# ? Sep 8, 2016 08:55

Syncopated: Oct 21, 2010

i made a cup of coffee

it is good

# ? Sep 8, 2016 10:22

lord funk: Feb 16, 2004

not going to survive the rest of the day without a double shot

:coffee:

# ? Sep 8, 2016 21:00

teen bear: Feb 19, 2006

how noticeable are the effects of a decent grinder

# ? Sep 8, 2016 21:51

bump_fn: Apr 12, 2004; _{two of them}

both cafes near me are closed for the week gently caress my life i need coffee

# ? Sep 8, 2016 21:56

CrazyLittle: Sep 11, 2001; Clapping Larry

bump_fn posted:

had some coffee too late in the evening and regretting it

yeah i'd regret the evening too.

# ? Sep 8, 2016 22:39

Computer Serf: May 14, 2005; Buglord

Something about black coffee makes me twacked out and twitchey eyed. :sludgepal:

Espresso gets me buzzed quiet good and dandy, unless of course the barista butchers pulling the shot and I end up with a festering pool of acidic garbage sludge.

# ? Sep 9, 2016 00:09

Visual GNUdio: Aug 27, 2003

teen bear posted:

how noticeable are the effects of a decent grinder

It sounds nuts but the grinder is probably the single most important component to brewing quality coffee. Whirly-blade grinders can never produce anything but an inconsistent grind (large range of particle size), which will result in an inconsistent extraction as the small particles extract quickly and the large ones slowly. I just bought a Capresso Infinity to give to my in-laws as it appears to be the standard recommendation for the lowest-price grinder to still produce an acceptable grind. I only used it for a weekend but it's solid and the grind was good.

# ? Sep 9, 2016 00:42

Computer Serf: May 14, 2005; Buglord

i felt inspired to dig up a "WHY IS ESPRESSO SCIENTIFICALLY DANKER THAN COFFEE" report and i found this:

http://www.ift.org/~/media/Knowledge%20Center/Publications/Books/Samples/IFTPressBook_Coffee_PreviewChapter.pdf

quote:

Because espresso machines use pressure to extract the brew and do not use paper filter,
more of the lipids, including diterpenes, can be found in brewed espresso compared with
regular percolation methods.

quote:

Factors that affect the brew�s composition include the ground roast coffee composition, grid,
brewing method, proportion of coffee to water, hardness and temperature of water, length of
time coffee is in contact with water, and the filter material. The amount of soluble solids in
the brewed coffee varies from 2 to 6 g/100-mL cup [140].
Preparing a filtered brew from ground and roast coffee, involves extracting water-soluble
compounds; most of the lipophilic fraction remains in the filter with the solid materials.
Espresso is prepared by a special brewing technique in which a small amount of hot water is percolated through ground coffee under high pressure for a short time. In this case, the composition and quality of the brew also depends on the water pressure.
Usually, extraction of water-soluble components including chlorogenic acids, caffeine,
nicotinic acid, soluble melanoidins, and hydrophilic volatile compounds is greater at higher
temperatures and pressures [108]. Although the lipid fraction is not water-soluble, part of
the amount remaining in the seeds after roasting is extracted due to the high temperature
of the water and is present in the brew as an emulsion. However, oil particles are likely to
be retained in filters made of paper or similar types of materials. The high pressure used
to make espresso and absence of a filter made of paper or another lipophilic material to
retain the lipids facilitates their extraction into the brew. Thus, unfiltered coffee and espresso
coffee brews contain higher amounts of these compounds, including bioactive diterpenes and
sterols.
Approximately 80%�100% of chlorogenic acids, the components primarily responsible
for the functional properties of coffee, are extracted in home coffee brewing [47], resulting
in 35�100 mg chlorogenic acids/100-mL cup of Arabica coffee and 35�175 mg/100-mL
cup of Robusta coffee [141]. However, maintaining coffee brews at a high temperature re-
duces chlorogenic acids and lactones concentrations [142,143]. Despite their thermolability,
chlorogenic acids are still present in relatively high amounts in light- to dark-medium-roasted
coffees compared with most food sources [47,144]. Coffee abstainers typically ingest less
than 100-mg chlorogenic acids/day, whereas modest and heavy coffee drinkers ingest 0.1�2 g
[47,141,145]. In addition to free chlorogenic acids and those incorporated by melanoidins,
D ́ıaz-Rubio and Saura-Calixto [102] reported that 8.7�10.5 mg chlorogenic acids and their
derivatives are associated with soluble fiber in 100 mL brewed coffee.
Coffee�s acidity is due to organic acids such as acetic, formic, malic, citric, and lactic
acids, as well as chlorogenic and quinic acids. The pH varies from approximately 5.2 in a
brew made from light roast to 5.8 [139].
Approximately 0.3�0.7 g potassium may be found in 100 mL brew at 8%�20% (coffee/
water) [106,140], and low amounts of sodium (approximately 3 mg/100 mL brew) were
found in a brew prepared at 20% (w/v) [106]. The antidemineralization effect of
C. canephora reported by Antonio et al. [106] has been attributed, in part, to phosphorus (50 mg/100 mL
brew). Costa and Farah [146] observed that the total mineral extraction achieved by espresso
machines and electric coffee makers was higher than that of all other percolation methods.
As previously mentioned, galactomannans and type II arabinogalactans are the predomi-
nant polysaccharides that pass into the brew. After roasting the coffee seeds and brewing, these
polysaccharides represent approximately 15%�25% of the dry matter [117,147]. According
to Petraco [147],
a typical amount of soluble fiber in espresso coffee is 800 mg/100 mL, and a
regular percolation method produces approximately 200 mg/100 mL. Similarly, Diaz-Rubioand Saura-Calixto [102] reported 470�750 mg soluble fiber in 100 mL brewed coffees.
Caffeine, trigonelline, and nicotinic acid are also soluble in hot water. Typical amounts in
brewed coffee prepared with medium roasted coffee vary from 50�100 mg caffeine, 40�50 mg
trigonelline, and approximately 10 mg nicotinic acid. Trigonelline tends to be completely
degraded in dark roasts, whereas nicotinic acid content increases [52].
As previously mentioned, most of the lipid fraction is retained in the remaining solid
material after brewing. Triacylglycerols account for approximately 75% (w/w) of total coffee
lipids in freshly brewed coffee, whereas free fatty acids account for only approximately 1%
[46].

# ? Sep 9, 2016 00:51

BONGHITZ: Jan 1, 1970

Diet Pepsi is ok

(USER WAS PUT ON PROBATION FOR THIS POST)

# ? Sep 9, 2016 00:57

Visual GNUdio: Aug 27, 2003

I've finally released my machine learning first crack identifier thing. There might be two people in the universe who would ever deploy such a thing, but hey here it is.

# ? Sep 9, 2016 01:16

Knuc U Kinte: Aug 17, 2004

BONGHITZ posted:

Diet Pepsi is ok

This is the coffee thread, not the un-funny broke brain moron stuck on repeat gbs style baby's first troll thread.

# ? Sep 9, 2016 10:34

prefect: Sep 11, 2001; No one, Woodhouse.
No one.; Dead Man’s Band

teen bear posted:

how noticeable are the effects of a decent grinder

depends on how much you like gay sex :haw:

c coffee s: praline-flavored, i think? :shrug:

# ? Sep 9, 2016 12:16

Syncopated: Oct 21, 2010

BONGHITZ posted:

Diet Pepsi is ok

mods?

# ? Sep 9, 2016 12:48

teen bear: Feb 19, 2006

Visual GNUdio posted:

It sounds nuts but the grinder is probably the single most important component to brewing quality coffee. Whirly-blade grinders can never produce anything but an inconsistent grind (large range of particle size), which will result in an inconsistent extraction as the small particles extract quickly and the large ones slowly. I just bought a Capresso Infinity to give to my in-laws as it appears to be the standard recommendation for the lowest-price grinder to still produce an acceptable grind. I only used it for a weekend but it's solid and the grind was good.

i feel like this would take me to a new coffee threshold i could never come back from and i'm nervous and scared rn

# ? Sep 9, 2016 13:51

Visual GNUdio: Aug 27, 2003

teen bear posted:

i feel like this would take me to a new coffee threshold i could never come back from and i'm nervous and scared rn

Don't worry buddy, it'll be fine. I used to drink bad coffee and then I bought a good grinder and I turned out perfectly normal. lol RIP you

# ? Sep 9, 2016 14:49

Podima: Nov 4, 2009; by Fluffdaddy

teen bear posted:

how noticeable are the effects of a decent grinder

can confirm from a non-coffee autist perspective. i used to use a whirly blade grinder and got a burr grinder for christmas (i think i linked it earlier in this thread actually) and it makes a tremendous difference as long as you have halfway decent beans. purely from a economic point of view you can brew coffee with fewer beans because you get a finer/more even grind which exposes more surface area to the liquid. other than that Visual GNUdio covered it adequately

edit: of course i'm drinking my usual friday bagel shop coffee instead of my own ground coffee while i type this :ironicat:

# ? Sep 9, 2016 14:53

Visual GNUdio: Aug 27, 2003

Touchscreen scale for Artisan is working brilliant, now I need to figure out how to deal with an enclosure.

This might be the project that finally pushes me into buying a 3D printer.

# ? Sep 9, 2016 14:53

flakeloaf: Feb 26, 2003; Still better than android clock

"this grinder is easy to clean"

forgive me for not thinking so but i don't loving think so

Visual GNUdio posted:

Touchscreen scale for Artisan is working brilliant, now I need to figure out how to deal with an enclosure.

This might be the project that finally pushes me into buying a 3D printer.

# ? Sep 9, 2016 14:54

big scary monsters: Sep 2, 2011; -~Ｓｋｕｌｌｗａｖｅ~-

teen bear posted:

i feel like this would take me to a new coffee threshold i could never come back from and i'm nervous and scared rn

you are right to be afraid, i used to be happy to drink poo poo tier instant coffee until a girlfriend convinced me that the real stuff was better and got me a grinder and made me use beans and stuff

now i drink better coffee but it means that i can't enjoy it any more when someone serves me crap. i'm not sure that developing taste is even worth it

# ? Sep 9, 2016 14:56

Podima: Nov 4, 2009; by Fluffdaddy

flakeloaf posted:

"this grinder is easy to clean"

forgive me for not thinking so but i don't loving think so

https://smile.amazon.com/Cuisinart-...rt+burr+grinder

here i dug it up for you - this is the one i use and its fairly easy to clean. comes with a brush to get most of the residue off, and every so often (like 1/week?) you can just use a toothpick to dislodge anything that's built up on the spout. i'm a lazy shitlord and this suits my needs.

# ? Sep 9, 2016 14:57

Podima: Nov 4, 2009; by Fluffdaddy

Podima posted:

edit: of course i'm drinking my usual friday bagel shop coffee instead of my own ground coffee while i type this

update: spilled everywhere on carpet. self-owned.

# ? Sep 9, 2016 15:06

prefect: Sep 11, 2001; No one, Woodhouse.
No one.; Dead Man’s Band

i wonder what would happen if you bathed in coffee. there are people in the bible who bathe in milk, but maybe coffee would do the job better

# ? Sep 9, 2016 15:09

Happy Noodle Boy: Jul 3, 2002

prefect posted:

i wonder what would happen if you bathed in coffee. there are people in the bible who bathe in milk, but maybe coffee would do the job better

as long as it isn't iced coffee.

# ? Sep 9, 2016 15:16

Captain Foo: May 11, 2004; we vibin'
we slidin'
we breathin'
we dyin'

i'm happy to report that after a month off, i am drinking that hot bean sludge

it's really good

# ? Sep 9, 2016 15:25

Visual GNUdio: Aug 27, 2003

prefect posted:

i wonder what would happen if you bathed in coffee. there are people in the bible who bathe in milk, but maybe coffee would do the job better

Funny you should mention it. For christmas wife bought me some weirdo coffee-based bath scrub poo poo. I don't know what it is about girls and their endless desire to rub food all over their fuckin bodies but a quick look at the labels in the beauty supply aisle seems to suggest they can't get enough of it.

So I figure why not I'll try it. Turns out the thing contains actual ground coffee, which, when combined with a warm shower, equals brewed coffee all over my drat self. I love coffee, but I also like being clean, and I don't understand how anybody thought that brewing coffee all over my pasty white skin was somehow going to improve things.

# ? Sep 9, 2016 20:28