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Quote-Unquote posted:You should try stretching out her vagina imo because that's a thing that is totally real I held my wife over a pot of boiling water so that the steam would loosen her microscopic pussy. It was easy since she is such a tiny woman
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Sep 9, 2016 14:52
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Schwarzwald posted:England might not be part of the EU anymore, but you're still a part of Europe. It's not like the island moved.
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Sep 9, 2016 15:03
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this loving thread
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Sep 9, 2016 15:42
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I can see the stretching thing maybe if your dick was too thick(and here is where he posts that yes it is a monster dong in every sense) but not really because from my experience all it takes for my vag to open up is, you know, arousal. maybe it takes a while but that is in the moment not over a period of days or weeks. I can't even imagine how that works unless you're just trying to shove a coke can up there dry. I think it's probably a psychological thing rather than a physical thing, like vaginismus but no amount of work is going to make a vagina get magically deeper to accommodate a long dick besides what it does naturally
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Sep 9, 2016 15:46
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Someone described someone's dick as "as big as a coke can" the other day and I thought it was an interesting choice of words. I told the dick haver what was said about his dick and he said "okay not quite that big" but I haven't seen it to be sure.
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Sep 9, 2016 15:55
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hurrr, must break vagoo wid big dik, lol. The guy was as transparent a troll as it gets, yet still you feed him.
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Sep 9, 2016 15:57
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CrazyLoon posted:hurrr, must break vagoo wid big dik, lol. he has always posted like this, he is very sincere
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Sep 9, 2016 16:03
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 pictured: the saurus' terrible giant clown dick actual shape
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Sep 9, 2016 16:05
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FISTS CURE WOMEN posted:On the reverse I was told many times while traveling Ireland that my mild southern accent was really attractive. So I concluded the the Irish are a basic people. Southern folk who are well spoken are pretty charming, though I think the same can be said for basically any accent, as long as you don't come across like trailer-trash equivalent for wherever you're from you'll probably get treated real nice. Pretty much everyone appreciates eloquent/elegant speaking. Calico Heart posted:My dad is from the States and pointed out to me that something Americans do to be cool in his experience is use British expressions/slang, and every time he hears an American say something like "take the piss" or "wanker" he internally shudders because it sounds so wrong. I like that Americans have adopted "twat" but never say it properly, I think the only Americans I've heard say it properly are american standup comedians like Rich Hall and Reginald Hunter who have done lots of stuff in the UK over the years.
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Sep 9, 2016 16:07
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CrazyLoon posted:hurrr, must break vagoo wid big dik, lol. Read his posts in the UKMT sometime, he's unfortunately very serious.
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Sep 9, 2016 16:11
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Shugojin posted:
this guy gets it
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Sep 9, 2016 16:11
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Adam Vegas posted:Read his posts in the UKMT sometime, he's unfortunately very serious. oh lol then... ...Saurus, dude, I know you've most likely watched some hentai or whatevs, but you'll never see a woman's skin bulge out because your dick's so huge, dawg. Mainly because I bet you've got a micropenis IRL
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Sep 9, 2016 16:17
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You know how The Saurus gets his dick to be 12 inches? He folds it in half
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Sep 9, 2016 16:24
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Troposphere posted:I can see the stretching thing maybe if your dick was too thick(and here is where he posts that yes it is a monster dong in every sense) but not really because from my experience all it takes for my vag to open up is, you know, arousal. maybe it takes a while but that is in the moment not over a period of days or weeks. I can't even imagine how that works unless you're just trying to shove a coke can up there dry. I think it's probably a psychological thing rather than a physical thing, like vaginismus Saurus on the interbutts: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9HilyOLWzrM He is the guy this thread is about. We've gone meta.
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Sep 9, 2016 16:30
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I heard The Saurus can't get it up unless his wife lays motionless on the floor with a slice of pizza over her crotch. Seems hosed up if it's true though
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Sep 9, 2016 16:32
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Calico Heart posted:My dad is from the States and pointed out to me that something Americans do to be cool in his experience is use British expressions/slang, and every time he hears an American say something like "take the piss" or "wanker" he internally shudders because it sounds so wrong. I don't say those, but "cannot be bothered" is too good of an expression not to use
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Sep 9, 2016 16:34
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Can you do penis transplants? Like, i saw that amputee kid who got a dead kids hands Could i cut my donger off and get like some black guys monster penis sewn on instead??
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Sep 9, 2016 16:35
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Zzulu posted:Can you do penis transplants? Like, i saw that amputee kid who got a dead kids hands Why cut off your own when you can just stitch a new one to the end of what you already have for an even longer donger?
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Sep 9, 2016 16:48
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This talk about dick sizes reminds me of a tumblr I stumbled across and seems relevant to this thread about British Politics and 5 year-old video games. http://pornmeasurements.tumblr.com/
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Sep 9, 2016 17:18
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CrazyLoon posted:oh lol then... I'm not sure how my posts about supporting Jeremy Corbyn and Brexit in UKMT (which I am serious about) can be used to ascertain that I am not trolling when posting about penis size, but I guess that's why I'm not an internet detective
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Sep 9, 2016 17:39
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Has the saurus, considered stuffing a vagina full of nice tokens to make it more accommodating? This thread has taught me nothing makes women ready for sex like prepackaged gestures of kindness.
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Sep 9, 2016 17:53
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ikanreed posted:Has the saurus, considered stuffing a vagina full of nice tokens to make it more accommodating? but if all of the tokens are in there how can anything else fit? it's a paradox
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Sep 9, 2016 17:56
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See each nice guy token loosens the vag by an amount such that it undergoes a very slightly net gain in volume So you need to optimize the system to use the least amount of nice guy tokens to get it in so that the vag is not too stretched out
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Sep 9, 2016 17:59
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Remember, it doesn't count as good relationship advice unless you can quantify it. Cubic centimeters per dollar is the relevant question.
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Sep 9, 2016 18:01
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MY PALE GOTH SKIN posted:
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Sep 9, 2016 18:03
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radiatinglines posted:I don't say those, but "cannot be bothered" is too good of an expression not to use Saying "cannot", rather than "can't", makes this common expression British?
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Sep 9, 2016 18:06
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ikanreed posted:Remember, it doesn't count as good relationship advice unless you can quantify it. Cubic centimeters per dollar is the relevant question. but what's the usd:nice guy token conversion rate?
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Sep 9, 2016 18:07
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i mean naturally you have to convert the nice guy tokens to bitcoins first so this is a compound conversion, subject to many factors
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Sep 9, 2016 18:08
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Shugojin posted:See each nice guy token loosens the vag by an amount such that it undergoes a very slightly net gain in volume see this makes sense to me, it's like advantage playing at Dave and Busters. Except instead of a PS4 you get a better vagina.
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Sep 9, 2016 18:08
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radiatinglines posted:I don't say those, but "cannot be bothered" is too good of an expression not to use  I didn't even know that that expression was specifically British!
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Sep 9, 2016 18:13
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Dreddout posted:
It's not. Maybe the lack of contractions sounds a bit out of place to an American though.
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Sep 9, 2016 18:14
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Well, looks like it's time for me to friend zone this thread. I'll return when I'm lonely and crave attention
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Sep 9, 2016 18:24
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gigawhite posted:Well, looks like it's time for me to friend zone this thread. I'll return when I'm lonely and crave attention So all the time?
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Sep 9, 2016 18:26
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ikanreed posted:It's not. Maybe the lack of contractions sounds a bit out of place to an American though. loving British poofs thinking they are Data! 
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Sep 9, 2016 18:32
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lohli posted:Why cut off your own when you can just stitch a new one to the end of what you already have for an even longer donger? you are a bonafide god drat genius
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Sep 9, 2016 18:33
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The Saurus posted:According to the British Journal of Urology, who performed a worldwide study on 15,000 men, it takes even less to be in the top 1%. Well you can call me mitt Romney then lol
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Sep 9, 2016 18:37
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mind the walrus posted:This talk about dick sizes reminds me of a tumblr I stumbled across and seems relevant to this thread about British Politics and 5 year-old video games. It's comforting to know that even the hugest dicks in the world are still only a few inches bigger than mine, and not like over-half-a-foot bigger than mine.
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Sep 9, 2016 18:39
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naem posted:Well you can call me mitt Romney then lol  But that's because of my binders full of pictures of women.
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Sep 9, 2016 18:39
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skander posted:Saying "cannot", rather than "can't", makes this common expression British? I've only heard British people say it either way Sorry y'all are embarrassed for using a Brit phrase but no need to go into denial
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Sep 9, 2016 18:43
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You whore bitches don't deserve a nice colloquialism like "can't be bothered"
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Sep 9, 2016 18:49
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