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Quinn2win
Nov 9, 2011

Foolish child of man...
After reading all this,
do you still not understand?


Umineko no Naku Koro ni, literally When the Seagulls Cry, is a 2007 sound novel by Ryukishi07, the author of the generally more well-known Higurashi series. It's simultaneously a murder mystery, a loving metatextual homage to the genre of murder mysteries, a deconstruction of his previous work, and a wild over-the-top anime fantasy adventure. In short, it's a hell of a thing.

With the first half of the game finally getting a proper western release on Steam (go get it!), I figured it's about time I dragged some more people through this fever dream of a story.

The ground rules:

  • As usual, a screenshot LP, with music links and occasional video links. It will be possible to fully enjoy the story without clicking on them, but Umineko's music is seriously fantastic, so I don't recommend skipping them.
  • There are a total of eight episodes in the story; I'll be trying for now to make it through the first four. After I get that far, I'll decide whether or not to continue based on my stamina and whether or not I've found a good text dump for episodes 6 and onwards.
  • Updates will come three times a week, on Monday, Wednesday and Friday, or more frequently if my backlog is more than 10 updates long. I'll try to be upfront about when I'll have to miss updates. Between Episodes, I'll probably take some time off for my own sanity. This game is seriously huge, after all.
  • I'm using the PS3 art assets and the Steam translation. My game copy is using a different translation and I'm adopting some of its conventions, so technically the final product won't quite be matching any existing translation, but I hope to make things as readable as possible.
  • While the game itself is almost completely a linear story, this doesn't mean you can just sit back and relax. Your job, once the mystery is afoot, will be to try and stay one step ahead of Battler and solve the many mysteries of Rokkenjima.
  • While I'll be including video links of particularly major scenes, if you want to see/hear a scene in video but I didn't record it, let me know. If I was on the fence about it, or if there's enough demand, I'll go back and edit a video in.
  • Hoo boy.

Are you going to be less of a spoiler nazi than usual?
I'm going to be just as much of a spoiler nazi as usual! Umineko is a whodunnit at heart, so it's possible for even a small spoiler to ruin huge swaths of the experience. Even commenting on how important a scene is in retrospect can be a massive, mystery-cracking hint, so don't even think about it.

If you've played this game before, be very careful about what you say. Don't even think about posting spoilers disguised as "speculation", either. A true Umineko fan realizes that half the fun is watching new players flounder around in the dark and form crazy theories, and won't do anything to make things easier for them. If anything, you should be trying to constantly mislead people like a proper enigmatic witch, a suggestion that will hopefully at least make new readers second-guess any accidental spoilers they come across.

I just had a great idea for a post that won't quite look like spoilers, but in hindsight will turn out to have been secret spoilers all along!
This is not nearly as clever as it sounds in your head. Please reconsider.

I really want to talk about spoilers, but your spoiler policy is suffocating me!
If you want to discuss spoilery things pertaining to the LP, we have an open-spoiler Discord chat. Be aware before clicking on that link that we will be openly discussing spoilers for all eight episodes in that channel.

Episode 1: Legend of the Golden Witch
Part 1: Prologue
Part 2: Arrival at Rokkenjima
Part 3: Arrival at Rokkenjima II
Part 4: Guesthouse
Part 5: Dining Room
Part 6: Dining Room II
Part 7: Epitaph on the Portrait
Part 8: Sandy Beach
Part 9: Letter and Umbrella
Part 10: Letter and Umbrella II
Part 11: Legend of the Gold
Part 12: Night of the Storm
Part 13: The Six Chosen by the Key
Part 14: The Six Chosen by the Key II
Part 15: The Curtain Rises on Tragedy
Part 16: The Curtain Rises on Tragedy II
Part 17: Occult
Part 18: Occult II
Part 19: The Two Who Are Close
Part 20: The Two Who Are Close II
Part 21: Boiler Room
Part 22: Boiler Room II
Part 23: Besieged
Part 24: Besieged II
Part 25: Besieged III
Part 26: The Golden Witch
Tea Party
????

Episode 2: Turn of the Golden Witch
Part 1: Prologue
Part 2: Furniture
Part 3: Furniture II
Part 4: Wonderful Utopia
Part 5: School Culture Festival
Part 6: School Culture Festival II
Part 7: Chessboard Preparations
Part 8: Chessboard Preparations II
Part 9: Guest of Honor
Part 10: Guest of Honor II
Part 11: The Witch's Move
Part 12: The Witch's Move II
Part 13: Furniture and People
Part 14: Furniture and People II
Part 15: Wedding Ring
Part 16: Halloween
Part 17: Halloween II
Part 18: Jessica and Kanon
Part 19: Jessica and Kanon II
Part 20: New Rule
Part 21: New Rule II
Part 22: A Suspect
Part 23: A Suspect II
Part 24: Wolves and Sheep Puzzle
Part 25: Wolves and Sheep Puzzle II
Part 26: Devil's Proof
Part 27: Devil's Proof II
Part 28: Fleeting Resistance
Part 29: Fleeting Resistance II
Part 30: Surrender
Part 31: Resurrection
Part 32: Banquet of the Witch
Tea Party
????

Episode 3: Banquet of the Golden Witch
Part 1: Prologue
Part 2: Days as a Young Girl
Part 3: My Preparations Are Already Complete
Part 4: My Preparations Are Already Complete II
Part 5: The Witch's Written Challenge
Part 6: The Witch's Written Challenge II
Part 7: Possibility of a 19th Person
Part 8: Possibility of a 19th Person II
Part 9: Rosa and the Witch of the Forest
Part 10: Rosa and the Witch of the Forest II
Part 11: Rosa and the Witch of the Forest III
Part 12: The Beginning of the Ritual
Part 13: The Beginning of the Ritual II
Part 14: Madam Beatrice
Part 15: Madam Beatrice II
Part 16: Virgilia
Part 17: Skirmish
Part 18: Skirmish II
Part 19: The Key to the Golden Land
Part 20: The Key to the Golden Land II
Part 21: Coronation
Part 22: Coronation II
Part 23: The New Witch
Part 24: The New Witch II
Part 25: Announcement of Sacrifices
Part 26: Battle to the Death in the Hall
Part 27: Battle to the Death in the Hall II
Part 28: Battle to the Death in the Hall III
Part 29: The Definition of a Witch
Part 30: The Definition of a Witch II
Part 31: Real Magic
Part 32: Real Magic II
Part 33: The Witch's Courtroom
Part 34: The Witch's Courtroom II
Part 35: The Witch's Courtroom III
Part 36: The Witch's Courtroom IV
Part 37: The Witch's Courtroom V
Part 38: The Witch Illusion
Tea Party
????

Episode 4: Alliance of the Golden Witch
Part 1: Prologue
Part 2: The New Guest
Part 3: Ange and Maria
Part 4: Ange and Maria II
Part 5: The Future 12 Years Later
Part 6: The Future 12 Years Later II
Part 7: Red Truth, Blue Truth
Part 8: Red Truth, Blue Truth II
Part 9: Ange's Recollection
Part 10: Ange's Recollection II
Part 11: Mariage Sorcière
Part 12: Mariage Sorcière II
Part 13: Invitation to Fantasy
Part 14: Invitation to Fantasy II
Part 15: My World
Part 16: My World II
Part 17: Sakutaro
Part 18: Sakutaro II
Part 19: To the Island of the Witch
Part 20: To the Island of the Witch II
Part 21: Ushiromiya Kinzo
Part 22: Ushiromiya Kinzo II
Part 23: Ushiromiya Kinzo III
Part 24: The Sweet World of Witches
Part 25: The Sweet World of Witches II
Part 26: Dungeon
Part 27: Dungeon II
Part 28: My Mission
Part 29: My Mission II
Part 30: Final Family Conference
Part 31: The Next Head
Part 32: The Next Head II
Part 33: The Next Head III
Part 34: The Next Head IV
Part 35: The Next Head V
Part 36: The Next Head VI
Part 37: Cause of the Tragedy
Part 38: Cause of the Tragedy II
Part 39: Cause of the Tragedy III
Part 40: Journey's Endpoint
Part 41: Journey's Endpoint II
Part 42: Journey's Endpoint III
Part 43: Ushiromiya Ange
Part 44: Ushiromiya Ange II
Part 45: Tea Party
Part 46: Tea Party II
Part 47: Tea Party III
Part 48: ???

Quinn2win fucked around with this message at 13:25 on Mar 13, 2017

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Quinn2win
Nov 9, 2011

Foolish child of man...
After reading all this,
do you still not understand?
A letter from Ryukishi07

Profile Archive
EP1 Profiles
EP2 Profiles
EP3 Profiles
EP4 Profiles

Episode 1 TIPS
Epitaph on the Portrait
The Witch's Letter
The Witch's Letter II
The Witch's Letter III
The Witch's Game Record
Sawed-off Winchester M-1894
The Seven Stakes of Purgatory

Episode 2 TIPS
Epitaph on the Portrait
The Witch's Letter
The Witch's Letter II
The Witch's Letter III
The Witch's Letter IV
The Witch's Game Record
Golden Butterfly Brooch

Episode 3 TIPS
Epitaph on the Portrait
The Witch's Letter
The Witch's Game Record
Chiester Sisters Imperial Guard Corps
The Chiesters' Golden Bow
Regarding the Succession of the Witch

Episode 4 TIPS
Mariage Sorcière
System of Magic
Grimoire
Beatrice's Titles
Regarding Witches
Regarding Voyagers
Regarding Creators

Guest Updates (courtesy of oath2order and tiistai)
Bernkastel's Letter
Memoirs by Lady Lambdadelta
Notes from a Certain Chef
Letter from a Summoner
A Certain Witch Hunter's Interview Tape
The Seven Sisters' Valentine
Beatrice's White Day

They insisted I preserve this, so here it is.

Quinn2win fucked around with this message at 14:45 on Mar 20, 2017

Quinn2win
Nov 9, 2011

Foolish child of man...
After reading all this,
do you still not understand?


Welcome to Rokkenjima. The Golden Witch extends her heartfelt greetings. First, please put yourself at ease.

There is nothing too difficult to think about. Accept entirely, silently, the events to happen. That is all that is asked of you.

The difficulty is standard. Shall we first take the easy road?




BGM: Rose

The elderly physician lets out a sigh as he removes the stethoscope. In the gloomy study where dust and a sickly-sweet stench mingle, two elderly men can be seen.

In the corner of this vast room, called a study, there is an expensive-looking bed, a man undergoing a medical examination, and the physician conducting it. And there appears to be a servant watching over this scene.



"...Kinzo-san. ...The reason your body appears to be doing well is due to the medicine's effects. However, if you keep drinking such strong spirits, the medicine will become meaningless. ...Trust my judgement. Refrain from drinking."
"I thank you, though only for the sentiment. My friend. ...Genji. Another glass. Water it down slightly. That way Nanjo can save face."



After eyeing both the master who demanded the alcohol and the attending physician who forbade it, Genji, the old butler, silently gives a slight nod and obeys his master's orders faithfully. The attending physician, Nanjo, once more lets out a deep sigh as he watches the butler busy himself alongside the liquor cabinet...

There was a smell filling up the room. That sweet, poisonous aroma that melts the heart, and inexorably, the soul... is the aroma of that venomous green liquor the master couldn't bring himself to part from.

"...Nanjo. You are my close friend, and I've known you for quite a long time. I am deeply grateful that you have helped me to live a long life until today."
"I have done nothing. ...After all, you never listen to my advice as your physician."
"Hahahaha... Just like how you never listen when I warn you about a mistaken chess move you're about to make. It seems we are even."
"...Master."
"Thank you. ...I wouldn't die if I ran out of your medicine, but I would die if I ran out of this."

Disregarding Nanjo, who has his face set in a resigned expression, Kinzo takes the glass Genji is presenting to him. There are probably very few people who would associate the venomous color, which filled the glass, with alcohol.



Nanjo once again lets out a sigh of resignation. Then, he finally speaks, gazing at Kinzo swirling the glass.

"...You don't have much time."
"...What precisely do you mean by that?"
"...Let us illustrate it with the chess game here. You have very nearly achieved checkmate...but you have not yet cornered my king."



The white king has already been castled and cornered, and even an amateur could see that the match will be decided before much longer. Both of them made a few moves every time Nanjo came to give a medical examination.

With that in mind, Nanjo was claiming that Kinzo would probably fall into his eternal sleep before this game could be concluded. These words are less the words of a physician's than they are the words of an old friend.

"...Were you a normal patient, I would recommend that you write a will at this point."
"...And what is a will, Nanjo? Handwritten instructions to the vultures on how to devour and scatter my corpse?"
"No, not at all. ...A will is something where you leave your intentions behind. It does not only exist to split up the inheritance."
"Hoh. ...What would I write about apart from the division of the inheritance?"
"...Your regrets. Your unfinished matters. What you want to be passed down,what you want to convey. ...Anything is fine."





After ranting up until that point, Kinzo suddenly lets his shoulders fall. His face is feeble, as though something that possessed him has left.

"...But still, I am reluctant. I will leave nothing, but there is one single thing I cannot leave as I die..."
"...You would do well to write it down. Of course, it would be good if you could finish it as you still live. However, if that fails to come about, the ones you leave behind will take over. If it were me, I am certain that I would leave something so that those regrets can be settled. ...That would be a will."

As Nanjo tries to gently pat Kinzo's shoulder, a suddenly enraged Kinzo bats away his hand.

"It's useless, useless, useless!! It must be while I live, because if I die, my soul will be instantly devoured by the demon of the contract, will be erased, will disappear, for all time! I won't have peace in the world beyond death! That's why everything must be done while I'm alive!! That's why I have no need for a will or any such thing!! If I had time to write such things... if I had time!!"





Video: Opening



Let's Play Umineko no Naku Koro ni, Episode 1: Legend of the Golden Witch

Prof here. When I add in my own commentary, it'll be in italics.

You may notice that the character designs look significantly worse in the opening video. That's because Umineko's spritework has been done three times - once by Ryukishi himself, once for the PS3 remake, and once for the Steam rerelease.

Everyone has their own preferences (I actually do have a soft spot for the old art's absurd mittenhands and huge facial expressions), but for this LP I'm using the original PC version of the game with the PS3 resources patched in. This means higher-quality sprites, better background art, and voice acting for when I record videos.

So, with no further ado, let's get this show on the road.






BGM: Doorway of Summer

I'm the only one scratching my head, marveling at progress. Before, it was by boat. In the past, we'd been forced to sway and rock the whole half-day trip to reach Niijima. Times sure have gotten handier.

However, I've never gotten on such a tiny plane. I've already flown in a huge jumbo jet, but it's my first experience in such a small one... I wonder if it'll shake.

They say that smaller boats shake more, so I guess it's probably the same for an airplane... Aaah, just spare me.



"Sorry, sorry. It's not like when you were small. It's been six years since then. You're not a kid anymore. Hahahahahah."
"Tch, so you can smoke and drink? No interest in smoking, but I'd like to try booze, heeheehee! If you got your Dad's genes, you should be able to drink like a fish, huh?"
"In my case, I mostly have to drink for my job, rather than drinking because I like it. Doing business in Japan without drinking is difficult work."
"Ihihihi! That's right! That's why I usually don't skip out on practicing for the future!"
"Tha, that's not good, Battler-kun, aren't you still a minor? Drinking carries the possibility of having a bad effect on the growth of minors..., um, never mind."
"If this is as tall as I get, I'd say that's eno~ugh! Actually, if I shortened a bit instead, it'd be easier to find clothes!"

I puff my chest out proudly. Until I got my growth spurt, my height was just above average for my class. But, faster than you could say it, I got even bigger, and now I'm over 1m 80cm (5ft 11in).

I guess that's also thanks to the nonstop muscle training I did, and the suspicious drugs for reinforcing muscle strength I ordered. I shot 10cm over George-aniki, and I never dreamed that someday I'd be able look down at people.

...Aah, I guess my relatives are all gonna go "Battler-chan, you got so big!" Ergh, it's so freakin' embarrassing, I just want everyone to let go of it already.

In any case, my name is Battler... well, it's pretty drat weird, don't you think?



Any time you see green text in a screenshot, that means there's some kind of weird Japanese language dickery going on that's hard to translate. Click on the screenshot to pop up an explanation!

My name is written 右代宮 戦人.

Can you read it? My last name is 'Ushiromiya'. That part's alright.
The problem is my first name... 戦人 is made up of the characters for 'fight' and 'person' and it's pronounced 'Battler'.

Incredible. Also incredible are the parents who stuck that name on me, and the public official who accepted it... They are all at the top of my must-kill list.



George's name is one of the closer ones to being legit - the proper pronunciation for his name kanji could be construed as 'jouji'.

He's five years older than me, so he's probably turning 23 this year. Since the Ushiromiya cousins consist of two boys and two girls, he was always Aniki when we played together. And because of those memories, I still call him that today.



"Nah, nothing like that. For a man, the body goes with the guts!"
"Exactly! Battler-kun's got it! Men compete with their guts! Ya must never forget yer constant discipline. And, if ya wait vigilantly fer yer chance, ya'll make it blossom with a bang! Me, I never imagindd that I'd become the company president I am today... Yep, to think that I started out penniless and ruined...!"



As you've no doubt picked up, the translation for this game uses all the usual anime honorifics, and it'd be more trouble than it's worth to edit them all back out, but I draw the line at oji-san/oba-san. I'll be replacing them in my own text with uncle/aunt.

Is that flashy and suspicious Kansai dialect real? Because he's actually from Kanto.

But anyhow, in the business world, impressions are super important, and with different people he speaks differently, as if acting to impress 'em... And of course, in front of real Kansai people he gets all embarrassed and switches back to standard Japanese. I don't really get it, but he sure is an interesting character.

"His only flaw is that he's quick to brag. You can stop it now. I'm sure Battler's getting tired of it. Right?"
"That's not true, hihihi! But isn't it nice, though? I think that as a man, having tales of valor to tell is awesome. Because someone like me doesn't have anything like that to tell."
"Oh, really? I'd imagine a man with your looks would have girls crying left and right. I can't believe that you have nothing at all to brag about."
"I, I, I, you, you, you're joking, right?! There's no way any weird stories like that have happened! Actually, I kinda want to be introduced to some instead!"
"Oh, but you must have some stories. ...*giggle*, you must tell them to your aunt later. Because George has absolutely none of those kind of stories. Heheheh..."



Ah well, George-aniki's family's interesting and fun, and they seem to get along fine, after all... drat, big difference from my family.

]

"You shouldn't talk like that about your own father. Still, this isn't the first time he's taken forever in the bathroom."
"Yeah, the guy's always been that way. I wish he'd stop going to the can with a magazine. I wonder what magazines he takes and what he does with them! Ihihi!"
"Oh, you don't need to worry about that at all. Since we've been together, I haven't let him do that sort of thing by himself."
"Hihihi! Oooh, I'll have to get the juicy details later! Sounds like Dad has his balls in an iron grip."
"You know what happens if you don't get a proper grip, right?"
"No kidding. You're the only one who can hold the reigns on that old bastard, Kyrie-san. Even as his son, I'll give them over gladly."
"Heh, leave it to me. Isn't it my speciality?"



My real mom died six years ago. After her passing, my father remarried with Kyrie-san.

It's understandable for someone my age. Even now, I can't call his second wife 'Mom'. And, I guess she doesn't want to call this massive, unrelated stepson 'son'.We don't act like brats to each other. We wouldn't gain anything by fighting. So for the same reason, we just don't play at being family either.

That being the case, she's more like a friendly neighbor to me, and by comparison, I guess we've gotten pretty close. Instead of feeling bad about it by forcing ourselves, we gain a degree of comfort from treating each other in a simpler way.

Since Kyrie-san's also an unusually frank person, we make it work well somehow. And, when I started badmouthing Dad, who'd already left the can, the man himself came back, drying his hands with a handkerchief.



"You've been talking trash about me with mom again, haven't you? Why are you so unenthusiastic about the respect you owe your father, hmm?"
"Owowow, owowowowow! Dammit, that hurts! You can stretch my ear all you want, I'm not gonna be able to fly ya know. That hurts!!"
"C'mon now. Up up, down down, left right, left right. Now try saying 'Father, please excuse me for saying such disrespectful things'."
"Like hell I will! Go find yourself some members-only store if you want it that much! Gyaah, let gooooo!!"



By the way, I didn't get just my height from him. My terrible name too. Dad's name is 右代宮留弗夫. Can you read it? Come on, it's just 留弗夫. You read it as 'Rudolf'.

Ahaha, I'm sure he resents Grandfather pretty strongly for giving him that name. But that's no reason to slap me with that bizarre naming tradition.

A bit sketchier than George's name, Rudolf's could concievably be read as 'rudofu'.

After the old bastard finished having his fun pinching and pulling my ear, aunt Eva grabbed his.

"Hey, Rudolf? Isn't that child abuse?"
"Gyaah, that hurts, Aneki..."

This scene is a perfect example of how a mischievous younger brother always gets punished by his older sister, no matter how hulking he is.

"Eva nee-san, please leave it at that. I'll make sure to stretch out his other ear later on.
"My, I'm sorry. I should leave you a piece to pull on. Rudolf? Be sure to get lots and lots of punishment afterwards from Kyrie-san, alright?"
"You're one to talk, Aneki, after abusing your little brother. Hideyoshi nii-san, I'd like to thank you very much for picking her up. If it wasn't for your leniency, she'd still be unsold in the store. As her younger brother, I apologize."
"...Hmm~?! Who are you calling 'unsold'?"

After taking 2...3 steps to close the gap between them, Eva unleashes a high reverse roundhouse kick, still looking as charming as ever, and stopping a centimeter away from Dad's nose. She started out with Tai-chi-chuan, maybe for her figure, and then got interested in the Chinese martial arts. After that, she went through karate, tae kwon do, capoeira... and what is it she's learning now, again?

...Well anyway, they say a woman's weapons are in her lower body, and that's literally true for Eva.

"Rudo-lf? Did you know that a direct blow to the side of the head would knock you out in one hit? Not so long ago, my partner messed up during an exhibition and started blowing bubbles, you see?"
"...Haaa, no, that's alright. I'm also sorry about her funny walk."

Dad, not batting an eyelid, shrugs and smiles bitterly at uncle Hideyoshi.



"Wait a sec, Kyrie, you've got to think about the troubles the new kid would have. I'm surprised Geroge-kun grew up so well after being born from this evil sister of mine. What an awesome kid. Share some of that with my dumbass son, would you."
"It's nothing of the sort. There was nothing wrong with the way Eva nee-san raised George-kun, so he turned out as a good and gentle kid. Isn't that right, Nee-san."
"My my, I wonder, ufufufu, I do wonder...! Our George is still undependable. Ah, but more importantly, how's your little Ange-chan? I heard she was vomiting?"
"Oh, that's right! I was expectin' I could see her face, after so long. Is she alright?"
"She always catches a cold when the seasons change. She's very frail... The truth is that I wanted to bring her, but my family will take care of her this time."
"I think that's a wise move. She'll get better faster by not bathing in the rotten air at the head house. A child's sickness is more important than an adult's convenience, right?"
"I know of some great medicine fer vomitin' colds! When we get back home, I'll send some to you right away, so use it!"
"Thank you very much, Hideyoshi nii-san. I'm always in your debt..."

...After the conversation suddenly turned in that direction, there was no way we kids would get to jump in. For now, I'm just happy that aunt Eva properly avenged me on Dad's pinching my ear.

"Are we still waiting for the weather?"

George-aniki points at the counter. The unchanging 'checking weather' sign is stuck next to the departure times for the flight we're scheduled to board. According to Aniki, it seems like a smaller plane is more subject to the winds and the weather, and depending on that, it looks like it's really common for the flight's departure to be influenced big-time.

...Wait a sec, it isn't really gonna shake, right...? I mean from down here, you just see the cloudy weather and you can't feel the wind... Well, maybe it'll be different once the plane is in the sky.



"A typhoon again? ...It's inevitable, with the yearly family conference in October. I wish he'd choose a better season."
"I agree. I've always hoped it could be done during the Obon festival. In fact, Rudolf, shouldn't we try proposing that to Father and Nii-san at this family conference?"
"...Very funny. Why don't you do it yourself? Our brother would never listen to anything I suggested."
"No way. It doesn't really bother me that much in October. What if you propose it, since you say you can't stand typhoons, Rudolf? I'm just saying..."
"I only said that typhoons always come around this time of year. You're the one who wanted it during Obon, right?"
"Well, you said so last year, Rudolf! That if it were around Obon it'd be easier to fit in your schedule!"
"Oh no I didn't."
"Oh yes you did. I wouldn't forget you saying that!"
"No I didn't, Aneki, you're the one saying that all the time!"
"Didn't you know? Stopping a strike a hair's breadth away is a very high class technique."
"Sheesh, women your age shouldn't spread their legs like that!"

When I see Dad and aunt Eva arguing, all I can see is a brat's quarrel...

"Even though they normally behave like fathers and mothers, in these family conferences, when they meet their old siblings, they turn into children again."
"And on the other hand, you can analyze it all calmly and look like the grown-up. ...When I grow up, I don't want to become like the old bastard. In this case, I want to become an intellectual like Aniki."
"Like me? Oh, I still have a long way to go. I still lack social experience, as well as sociability, and courage. ...I think that you already have quite a lot of those. And so, when you become an adult, I'm sure you'll outstrip me fast enough."

George-aniki scratched his head laughing, as if to hide his embarrassment. Of course, he's just being humble. Aniki entered a university and uncle Hideyoshi's company as an apprentice at the same time, and studied both academics and how to become a business emperor in parallel. Then, right after graduating, he got into uncle Hideyoshi's company as an aide, and as he devoted himself zealously to his work, he piled up lots of social experience. He even has a great dream of eventually becoming independent and making his own castle.

Aniki is a real paragon of a man, sparing no effort as he strives towards that. It's no exaggeration to say that I really respect him.



I've got no dreams for the future! I wanna rake in money in a cool and fun, all-smiles way, but it's not like that kind of thing happens.

...When Aniki was my age, he was already carrying a fine objective and studying to get there, so I guess I can't compare at all. The old bastard says stuff like: "You're coming over as an apprentice in my company? Then you start by cleaning the toilets." Dammit, I'm not gonna be taken care of by the old bastard. I'll clear my life's path myself!

...If only willpower could make you an adult. Maybe I should go on one of those self-searching journey things that are all the rage now? ...Well, it's not like I could mooch off my parents for that kind of money...

Right then, uncle Hideyoshi shouted really loudly. He'ss basically a really nice person, but his big problem is controlling the volume of his voice. He's greeting aunt Rosa, who came late.



BGM: HANE



"Rosa-san, it's good to see you again. It's good to see you too, Maria-chan."
"It's been too long, Kyrie nee-san, Hideyoshi nii-san. ...And, oh my, Battler-kun?! You're so big now...!"
"Ah, come on, hahaha... It's embarrassing hearing that every time I meet someone today...!"
"Oh, Rosa. You're late. If the plane was following the timetable, you'd have barely been on time, you know...?"
"I'm sorry. The trains weren't running well. What's this, we're waiting on the weather again?"
"Oh, don't complain. Compared to being shaken around for six hours on a boat, I'd rather have only thirty minutes on a plane. Even if we're kept waiting an hour, it's still much faster."
"Maria-chan's also gotten biiig!! So, how tall's Maria-chan now?"
"Uu-! So, how tall am I now?!"

Maria-chan parrots uncle Hideyoshi's question to her mother. I guess she doesn't even remember her own height. She's probably right in the middle of a growth spurt, so her height must change every month. In another few years, she'll look like a lady at the first glance, most likely.

"Well, let me see..., how much did we measure you at the other day? In any case, you're growing little by little. Aren't you now?"
"Uu-!"
"She grew much more than last year, in my opinion. Let's see, she turned nine years old this year, didn't she?"
"Nine years old. Uu-."
"That's right, you're nine years old. Looks like you're high spirits too, Maria-chan! Up you... ng... you've gotten a bit too heavy to play airplane with..."
"Ouch, George-aniki, what a rude thing to say to a lady. Here, I'll do it, up ya gooo~."
"...Uu-."

When I went to lift her up instead of Aniki, Maria stiffened her body as if to reject it, staring suspiciously at my face... Ah, that's right. When I met Maria before, it was six years ago and she was only three. There's no reason for her to remember my face.



"I guess it's no use. The last time she met Battler, she was only three. You don't keep memories at that age."

Apart from me, she must know everyone's face because she meets them every year, but I haven't had contact with the Ushiromiya family for about six years now. So, it's kinda normal that I'm not in the memories of this nine year old girl. Even I just barely remember her being a three year old crybaby.

"Maria. He's Battler onii-chan. Rudolf nii-san's son. ...Understand?"
"...The brother's son is... the brother is the son...?? Uu!!"

She probably uses that 'uu-' sound to fill in the blanks when she can't understand a complicated explanation. I guess that explanation had been a bit confusing.

"Maria-chan. This is Battler-kun. He's your cousin, like me."
"...Like George onii-chan? ...Battler? Cousin? ...Uu-."
"That's right. You got it."

This kind of thing makes me think that Aniki's really awesome, or that he's a real grown-up. For someone who isn't married, he's just too perfect at dealing with kids. I'm sure that he'll be an indulgent father in the future.

"...Battler onii-chan?"

Maria looks straight at me, her expression asking if it's OK to call me that way.

"Yep, that's me, Battler. Nice to meet you, Maria!"
"Uu-! Battler!"
"Hey, Maria! You shouldn't call him like that, call him Battler onii-chan...!"
"That's alright, aunt Rosa. I don't sweat the small stuff. Hey, Maria! We don't need honorifics, right?!"
"Battler Battler Battleeerrr! Uu-uu-!"
"That's right, Maria Maria Mariaaa! Uu-uu-!!"

We horsed around for a while to make up for the six year gap in our friendship. To her, I'm probably still nothing more than a huge Nii-chan she's meeting for the first time, but that should be fine if we slowly get used to each other.

But I'm surprised. She's the same as my memories of her from six years ago. Yeah, people just don't change so much. I'm sorta happy she's still the pure, innocent girl I remember.





...Actually, when you think about it, all the names in my family have a touch of foreign-ness. You gotta wonder what Grandfather's tastes are, exactly. Because of him, even us grandchildren get screwed. Is that habit of his 'cause he was pissed with his normal, Japanese-ish name?

Anyway, there's one thing about aunt Rosa that's a relief compared to the other family members. The old bastard and aunt Eva have this weird streak that makes them tease and mock people, but even though she's got the same blood, aunt Rosa doesn't do that. Between all her siblings, she's the one with the most common sense. Like uncle Hideyoshi, she's a kind aunt who'll always be on the kids' side.

...On the other hand, perhaps because she has a strict way of raising kids, she's not as generous as uncle Hideyoshi with her allowance.



As though it was waiting to see us off, there's a broadcast in the lobby.

"Our apologies for the wait. Boarding will now commence for flight 201 to Niijima. We ask that the passengers please form two lines in front of the counter, behind the white line."

"Rosa, you still haven't gone through boarding procedures, so hurry up."
"Oh no...! Maria, come on!"
"Uu-!"

We'll undergo a metal inspection before going to the runway. It doesn't have the grandness of the planes that make international flights, but while it is a small machine, it's still a plane. We are body-checked by a staff member holding a metal detector.

When everybody lined up is checked to be clear, we leave to the runway guided by the staff member.



The procession stops in front of the entrance to the airplane. The staff employee who guided us turns around and speaks while looking at the list.



"I'm first! Right here! ...Oh, Eva, d'you have a candy? I've been lookin' all over for some, but I can't find any."

"Ushiromiya Eva-sama."

"They're in the handbag. I'll get one once we're inside the plane."

I've heard that candies are a good way to protect the ears from hurting because of variations in atmospheric pressure when landing or taking off. That's probably what they're talking about.

"...It'd be nice if I got a window seat!"
"Hahaha, don't worry. There aren't any other kinds of seats."

Like George-aniki says, it looks there're only two lines of seats. So, this is what a small plane is like... It isn't really going to shake, is it?

"Ushiromiya George-sama."

"Here. Don't worry, Battler-kun. It won't shake too much."

"Ushiromiya Battler-sama."

"A-Aniki, how much is 'not too much'?! Even if I fall from a boat, I'm fine, I can swim, but if I fall from a frickin' plane, it's the end! But of course, there's a parachute in the seat, right? Wait, there isn't?!"

"Ushiromiya Rudolf-sama."

"Come on, Battler, quit being a wuss and get in."
"Ow! Dad! Don't push me! There's no parachute!"

"Ushiromiya Kyrie-sama."

"Alright, stop this nonsense. Let's move along, now."
"Ouch! Kyrie! Stop pushing! This blockhead isn't moving!"

"Ushiromiya Maria-sama."

"Uu-! Move move!"

"Ushiromiya Rosa-sama."

"Hey, Maria! Be quiet, now..."





BGM: Ride On













Quinn2win fucked around with this message at 02:06 on Oct 31, 2016

Nea
Feb 28, 2014

Funny Little Guy Aficionado.
Holy poo poo, you poor bastard, you're going to be doing this lp for the rest of your mortal days. Good luck.

Rody One Half
Feb 18, 2011

the last guy couldn't do it any neither can you Prof, but I salute you for trying

also ew the PS3 sprites

e: I guess Shiny actually used them too. He made it to early Episode 3, let's see if you can beat the high score.

Rody One Half fucked around with this message at 14:50 on Sep 14, 2016

Dire Wombat
Oct 29, 2011

In this world, there is no truth. The truth is made later on and overwrites what comes before it. Real truth doesn't exist anywhere.
There were like three incomplete Phoenix Wright LPs, but now Mors Rattus is tearing through it like a machine. I believe in you, Prof. You can be the one to post the entire novel. Or at least more than 25% of it.

IDK how many people are interested but still unspoiled, but come on and speculate if you are. My love for this book is pretty fierce, but I don't bite.

Rodyle posted:

also ew the PS3 sprites

Yeah, they're a bit hard to get used to for me. The older women look 25 and a couple faces are real bad, but OTOH the old sprites could break the intended tone in some spots. No perfect options here.

Quinn2win
Nov 9, 2011

Foolish child of man...
After reading all this,
do you still not understand?
There's pretty much no way to please everyone when it comes to sprite selection, yeah. Original flavor's weaknesses are pretty obvious (although it probably has the best facial expressions of any version), and the Steam sprites look all right on some characters, but some of the others look a bit too much like Rodyle's avatar. PS3 seemed like a nice compromise, plus I like being actually able to tell what's going on in the backgrounds for once.

Kinu Nishimura
Apr 24, 2008

SICK LOOT!
Kinzo is the god damned man, legendarily powerful, oh mama mia bautifal. Umineko is So loving Good.

whitehelm
Apr 20, 2008

ProfessorProf posted:

There's pretty much no way to please everyone when it comes to sprite selection, yeah. Original flavor's weaknesses are pretty obvious (although it probably has the best facial expressions of any version), and the Steam sprites look all right on some characters, but some of the others look a bit too much like Rodyle's avatar. PS3 seemed like a nice compromise, plus I like being actually able to tell what's going on in the backgrounds for once.

Did you consider the full PS3 port? They password protected it so people would buy the game but you can find it out via googling really easily.

Quinn2win
Nov 9, 2011

Foolish child of man...
After reading all this,
do you still not understand?

whitehelm posted:

Did you consider the full PS3 port? They password protected it so people would buy the game but you can find it out via googling really easily.

I had written it off because of the password protection issue (it seems a bit silly now that the steam version exists), but it's something to think about. I'll be sticking with this version for what I've already got written up, but I may switch versions later on if it's a significant step up.

Item Getter
Dec 14, 2015
I liked Higurashi even if I didn't really like some of the direction it went in towards the end. But I could never get into this one, maybe I did not like the setting and characters.

I was just wondering why the title says WHEN THEY CRY 3? Is it just something like there were 2 Higurashi games and this is #3 despite being not really related?

Quinn2win
Nov 9, 2011

Foolish child of man...
After reading all this,
do you still not understand?

Item Getter posted:

I was just wondering why the title says WHEN THEY CRY 3? Is it just something like there were 2 Higurashi games and this is #3 despite being not really related?

Exactly that. The series goes Higurashi, Higurashi Kai, Umineko, Umineko Chiru.

Mraagvpeine
Nov 4, 2014

I won this avatar on a technicality this thick.
Do you need to know anything about the previous Higurashi games to fully enjoy this game?

Quinn2win
Nov 9, 2011

Foolish child of man...
After reading all this,
do you still not understand?

Mraagvpeine posted:

Do you need to know anything about the previous Higurashi games to fully enjoy this game?

There are a couple esoteric nods to Higurashi and some thematic connections, but that's about it. The story is totally separate.

Rody One Half
Feb 18, 2011

The sprite issues aside, you definitely need to get some videos in there because the added voice acting is fantastic and adds a lot to some scenes.

e: actually moreso than the sprites I think the PS3 misses the weird filtered photo backgrounds

Kinu Nishimura
Apr 24, 2008

SICK LOOT!

Rodyle posted:

The sprite issues aside, you definitely need to get some videos in there because the added voice acting is fantastic and adds a lot to some scenes.

e: actually moreso than the sprites I think the PS3 misses the weird filtered photo backgrounds

OOOOOOOOHHHHHH BEATORIIIIICHIIIIII

JohnOfOrdo3
Nov 7, 2011

My other car is an asteroid
:black101:

alcharagia posted:

OOOOOOOOHHHHHH BEATORIIIIICHIIIIII

I like how this looks like your avatar screaming this out of nowhere.

I've never seen the game of this but I did watch about halfway through the anime based off of it. So it'll be interesting to see how closely they're bound together. Plus maybe I'll actually find out what the hell is going on in this series if I watch for long enough. Count me in

HenryEx
Mar 25, 2009

...your cybernetic implants, the only beauty in that meat you call "a body"...
Grimey Drawer
gently caress all tiny crowns forever

and everyone who wears them, too

Fabulousvillain
May 2, 2015
I don't know anything about this game, but I've seen the the first two seasons of Higurashi's show which I liked enough to sit through, so I'll see where this game goes.

Yurigasaki
Feb 27, 2016

Lulu's so clever!
Oh god. Oh jesus. Here we go. Godspeed Prof, you lunatic.

I'm excited to see what everyone thinks, though. Seeing people go into Umineko blind is great.

little_firebird
Sep 1, 2008

Why don't you
just eat your
belly button and die?!
This is gonna be fantastic. :allears:

Fake edit: Reminds me that I was gonna change my avatar to something Umineko at some point, by the way. Thank you.

Dire Wombat
Oct 29, 2011

In this world, there is no truth. The truth is made later on and overwrites what comes before it. Real truth doesn't exist anywhere.

JohnOfOrdo3 posted:

I like how this looks like your avatar screaming this out of nowhere.

I've never seen the game of this but I did watch about halfway through the anime based off of it. So it'll be interesting to see how closely they're bound together. Plus maybe I'll actually find out what the hell is going on in this series if I watch for long enough. Count me in

You're in for one hell of a ride. Nobody likes the anime by comparison with the VN. I don't know that it's even the fault of the studio, since the story's form is unusually important and any adaptation would run into awkward problems.

Quinn2win
Nov 9, 2011

Foolish child of man...
After reading all this,
do you still not understand?

Dire Wombat posted:

Nobody likes the anime by comparison with the VN. I don't know that it's even the fault of the studio, since the story's form is unusually important and any adaptation would run into awkward problems.

The manga adaptation is actually very good. I plan to do some scene comparison posts at some point down the line.

Yurigasaki
Feb 27, 2016

Lulu's so clever!

Dire Wombat posted:

You're in for one hell of a ride. Nobody likes the anime by comparison with the VN. I don't know that it's even the fault of the studio, since the story's form is unusually important and any adaptation would run into awkward problems.

It's partly Umineko being an awkward story to adapt to a format like anime but I'd say it's mostly Studio DEEN mishandling the adaptation really badly. Like Prof mentioned, the manga is an excellent adaptation (and it's the primary way I'd rec someone to Umineko if the OST wasn't Just That Good) so it's not like adapting Umineko is impossible. It's just that DEEN shat the bed and made some super bizarre choices in the way they presented some scenes and misrepresented some stuff that makes the story a bit more confusing to follow.

Anoia
Dec 31, 2003

"Sooner or later, every curse is a prayer."
I tried watching the anime for this years ago, but then the fan translators got into some sort of fight (literally putting long diatribes against members of the team/community in the commercial title cards) and then I never saw the end.

I may yet never see the end, but I'll follow this anyway. :v:

But yeah, I can confirm the anime is a mess, but it still had that sweet soundtrack.

Rody One Half
Feb 18, 2011

Please do not consume known Sound Novel Umineko no Naku Koro Ni in an audioless format.

Dire Wombat
Oct 29, 2011

In this world, there is no truth. The truth is made later on and overwrites what comes before it. Real truth doesn't exist anywhere.

ProfessorProf posted:

The manga adaptation is actually very good. I plan to do some scene comparison posts at some point down the line.

Whoops, I totally forgot about the manga. I think it fits into my idea of why an Umineko anime is a bit off, though I haven't actually watched the anime since it has such a poor rep. Of course there could be a much better show than what we actually got. My quibbles aren't super important.

Rodyle posted:

Please do not consume known Sound Novel Umineko no Naku Koro Ni in an audioless format.

Where in the world did Ryukishi find so many great composers?

Kinu Nishimura
Apr 24, 2008

SICK LOOT!

Dire Wombat posted:

Where in the world did Ryukishi find so many great composers?

well one of them, he was friends with, and he was like, "Hey Dai, check out this sweet game we're releasing at Comiket"

and he was like "Okay half the soundtrack is loving garbo dude"

"Well if you think so why don't you go and compose me a soundtrack yourself"

and Dai just up and did it

this is the story of a bunch of Umineko's tracks

MechanicalTomPetty
Oct 30, 2011

Runnin' down a dream
That never would come to me
OH DESIRE!

Good luck man, you're gonna be here for awhile.

AweStriker
Oct 6, 2014

This is going to be a mostly meaningless nitpick but after stating that you draw the line at oji-san/oba-san and that you'd replace those with uncle/aunt X, there's a couple places where... you didn't.

Neopie posted:

Holy poo poo, you poor bastard, you're going to be doing this lp for the rest of your mortal days. Good luck.

I'm sure he knows full well what he's in for and how he'll manage.

Quinn2win
Nov 9, 2011

Foolish child of man...
After reading all this,
do you still not understand?

AweStriker posted:

This is going to be a mostly meaningless nitpick but after stating that you draw the line at oji-san/oba-san and that you'd replace those with uncle/aunt X, there's a couple places where... you didn't.

They have been rightly purged.

As for the concerns about whether or not I have the stamina for this: I've been storing up LP energy for the past six months with no outlet, and my first LP on this site was over 200 posts of Steins;Gate. So, I mean, maybe.

Nea
Feb 28, 2014

Funny Little Guy Aficionado.
As a side note, I know HIGURASHI had to have a lot of it's OST changed when released on steam, since it was a fuckton of doujin artists, is that also true for Umineko?

Also, how's the translation compared to Witch Hunt?

Shiny777
Oct 29, 2011

YAMI WO KIRISAKU
OH DESIRE


Oh, hey, someone else is taking a swing at this? Here's hoping you manage to get through this behemoth without burning out like I did.

vancho1
Oct 6, 2013
I remember reading a bit of the manga of this a few years ago, but I barely remember anything apart from a friend recommending the game to me. Glad to see it being shown off here.

Quinn2win
Nov 9, 2011

Foolish child of man...
After reading all this,
do you still not understand?

Neopie posted:

As a side note, I know HIGURASHI had to have a lot of it's OST changed when released on steam, since it was a fuckton of doujin artists, is that also true for Umineko?

Also, how's the translation compared to Witch Hunt?

To my knowledge, the music is unchanged on the Steam port.

The translation is very similar, but a bit more polished, and it does tackle my big obvious pet peeve with the Witch Hunt version.

Chickenfrogman
Sep 16, 2011

by exmarx
Good luck. This deserves an LP though.

On the note of manga adaptations, the Higurashi manga is also excellent. Even the manga only arc that takes up a few volumes is pretty solid and fits in well.

John Lee
Mar 2, 2013

A time traveling adventure everyone can enjoy

Whoo, I am into this. Although, reiteration for people who skip some of the OP and read the thread, because I know there are some of you out there: Please, do not spoil anything. Not specific event spoilers, obviously, but also no "This scene coming up :allears:," no "You might think differently about this character in the future," no spoilers disguised as speculation. As Professor said, a huge amount of the fun is watching people fumble their way through the obfuscated mystery events, and if you're pre-spoiled, it's really a lame move to deprive others of the True Mystery Experience.


That being said: ProfessorProf, what's your opinion on me posting a Polsy link to the PS3 opening? I prefer it, but it has some confusing flashes to events that show the... surprising directions Umineko can go in. I don't consider it spoilers, and I think it might even enhance the experience, but I wanted to get your opinion first.

Quinn2win
Nov 9, 2011

Foolish child of man...
After reading all this,
do you still not understand?

John Lee posted:

That being said: ProfessorProf, what's your opinion on me posting a Polsy link to the PS3 opening? I prefer it, but it has some confusing flashes to events that show the... surprising directions Umineko can go in. I don't consider it spoilers, and I think it might even enhance the experience, but I wanted to get your opinion first.

Hmm... I was planning to link it eventually, along with the Chiru PS3 OP (definitely don't post that yet), but I think it's fine. Go ahead, give us something to talk about to push over to page 2 for tomorrow's update.

John Lee
Mar 2, 2013

A time traveling adventure everyone can enjoy

Alright, here you go. (It's the chorus that gives me the chills; I'm a sucker for a good chorus)

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little_firebird
Sep 1, 2008

Why don't you
just eat your
belly button and die?!

ProfessorProf posted:

Hmm... I was planning to link it eventually, along with the Chiru PS3 OP (definitely don't post that yet), but I think it's fine. Go ahead, give us something to talk about to push over to page 2 for tomorrow's update.

Are you planning on showing the original EP openings before the new prettier (?) sprites came out? Those tend to show things strictly chapter related.

But then, seeing the PS3 OP just now, showing the originals would probably further confuse things. ...Or is that the point?

  • Locked thread