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SatansChoice
Sep 14, 2016

by Smythe

dads_work_files posted:

"Oh yeah, I'm consumed with feelings of profound inadequacy and need an animal that has been bred to think of me as its boss because it is the only thing I will ever have power and control over in my entire stupid life" - dog owners, probably

I am fed up with my poo poo too. gently caress me

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phasmid
Jan 16, 2015

Booty Shaker
SILENT MAJORITY

dads_work_files posted:

"Oh yeah, I'm consumed with feelings of profound inadequacy and need an animal that has been bred to think of me as its boss because it is the only thing I will ever have power and control over in my entire stupid life" - dog owners, probably

Truth.

CaptainSarcastic
Jul 6, 2013



What if it turns out that your girlfriend's dog likes you more than it does her? Does that you make your more or less of a nice guy?

personable decorum
Sep 7, 2016

by FactsAreUseless

CaptainSarcastic posted:

What if it turns out that your girlfriend's dog likes you more than it does her? Does that you make your more or less of a nice guy?

more of a nice guy less of a robocop but also it could be that you are actually bisexxual and good job

Tricky D
Apr 1, 2005

I love um!
If I stick it out long enough, I can get enough emotional leverage to make my girlfriend give up her beloved pet. -A real nice guy

SatansChoice
Sep 14, 2016

by Smythe
Archetype Consumer is missing

CaptainSarcastic
Jul 6, 2013



SatansChoice posted:

Archetype Consumer is missing

Are you posting from that Markov bot Twitter account here, too?

Pick
Jul 19, 2009
Nap Ghost

Tricky D posted:

If I stick it out long enough, I can get enough emotional leverage to make my girlfriend give up her beloved pet. -A real nice guy

I got my cat from a woman whose husband forbade her to keep it. The cat preceded her relationship. Dude was a jerk.

Pvt.Scott
Feb 16, 2007

What God wants, God gets, God help us all

Pick posted:

I got my cat from a woman whose husband forbade her to keep it. The cat preceded her relationship. Dude was a jerk.

Did he at least have bad allergies and/or was he secretly a mummy and so was afraid of cats like in the Brendan Fraser smash hit movie The Mummy?

Pick
Jul 19, 2009
Nap Ghost

Pvt.Scott posted:

Did he at least have bad allergies and/or was he secretly a mummy and so was afraid of cats like in the Brendan Fraser smash hit movie The Mummy?

Nope he didn't like the cat "pressing" him (cuddling)

CaptainSarcastic
Jul 6, 2013



Pick posted:

Nope he didn't like the cat "pressing" him (cuddling)

So, in other words, he was an rear end in a top hat.

I grew up with both cats and dogs, and just can't understand people who don't like them.

SatansChoice
Sep 14, 2016

by Smythe

CaptainSarcastic posted:

So, in other words, he was an rear end in a top hat.

I grew up with both cats and dogs, and just can't understand people who don't like them.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_nOk9Fi6gKQ

NomChompsky
Sep 17, 2008

Pick posted:

Nope he didn't like the cat "pressing" him (cuddling)

what kind of loving monster

Pick
Jul 19, 2009
Nap Ghost

CaptainSarcastic posted:

So, in other words, he was an rear end in a top hat.

I grew up with both cats and dogs, and just can't understand people who don't like them.

He is a really swell cat too, that is basically all he does, cuddle and solicit belly rubs

personable decorum
Sep 7, 2016

by FactsAreUseless
Got invited to friends and family dinners once

lazorexplosion
Mar 19, 2016

I live vicariously through my neighbors pets. Is there a name or zone for people who are only nice to people so they can pat those people's cute dogges?

personable decorum
Sep 7, 2016

by FactsAreUseless

lazorexplosion posted:

I live vicariously through my neighbors pets. Is there a name or zone for people who are only nice to people so they can pat those people's cute dogges?

Once the fuckers are fenced in no one gives a gently caress as long as they're alive and you don't trample on the alpha daisies

SirSamVimes
Jul 21, 2008

~* Challenge *~


Pick posted:

He is a really swell cat too, that is basically all he does, cuddle and solicit belly rubs

Sounds like you dodged a bullet then.

KomodoWagon
May 10, 2013

by R. Guyovich

Pick posted:

I got my cat from a woman whose husband forbade her to keep it. The cat preceded her relationship. Dude was a jerk.

Maybe he had good reason to think she was loving the cat?

Wicker Man
Sep 5, 2007

Just like Columbus...


Clapping Larry
My sister has an autistic cat that acts more like a dog than a cat who absolutely lives for affection. I miss him :(

Quote-Unquote
Oct 22, 2002



CaptainSarcastic posted:

What if it turns out that your girlfriend's dog likes you more than it does her? Does that you make your more or less of a nice guy?

My ex had a cat that liked me more than her. Like we'd be on the sofa and it'd walk right past her and jump up on my lap and curl up while I petted it, and if she tried to pet it it would just get up and leave or move on to the arm of the chair beside me so she couldn't reach it. Drove her loving mental. Well, more mental than she was anyway. When I dumped her and kicked her out she had to chase the cat for ages and it kept hiding behind my legs lol.

Benny Harvey
Nov 24, 2012

Pick posted:

He is a really swell cat too, that is basically all he does, cuddle and solicit belly rubs

A cat that likes belly rubs and he didn't want it? Wtf

5er
Jun 1, 2000

Qapla' to a true warrior! :patriot:

turbomoose posted:



this article popped up on my facebook feed today, arranged marriage gone wrong. https://www.buzzfeed.com/andreborges/today-in-omg-yaas-a-woman-turned-down-an-arranged?utm_term=.vtlxoxobV#.fvEm4m4M0

I like "too good a husband"

This guy is a creeper who won't tolerate any emotional bond except one to him. Dog saves the day again.

Rondette
Nov 4, 2009

Your friendly neighbourhood Postie.



Grimey Drawer

5er posted:

This guy is a creeper who won't tolerate any emotional bond except one to him. Dog saves the day again.

And the dog is rad as gently caress



superjew
Sep 5, 2007

No fair! You changed the outcome by measuring it!

Rondette posted:

And the dog is rad as gently caress





No hoverpaw, checks out.

WrenP-Complete
Jul 27, 2012

wait, i think i know that dog and that person irl? is that dog's name "gracie?"

Kashuno
Oct 9, 2012

Where the hell is my SWORD?
Grimey Drawer

WrenP-Complete posted:

wait, i think i know that dog and that person irl? is that dog's name "gracie?"

Why'd you tell her to get rid of her dog you creepy gently caress?

Orange DeviI
Nov 9, 2011

by Hand Knit
That's a cute dog

Shayu
Feb 9, 2014
Five dollars for five words.
I have no grudge against dogs or cats but they are not appropriate to be kept inside. Whenever I have entered a home of a dog owner the furniture and floors were smelling like dog, the fur from the dog was everywhere. I assume the same with cats. Dogs and cats are unclean animals and should be left outside, they are animals and do not exist inside.

A good animal to be kept inside is a bird, they are very clean animals even in nature and should be kept inside to be safe from predator animals (like cats and dogs).

WrenP-Complete
Jul 27, 2012

Kashuno posted:

Why'd you tell her to get rid of her dog you creepy gently caress?

i didn't? gracie is a rescue dog that my friend has, and the person in the picture, if i know them, is a roommate.

edit: ha, i forgot what thread i'm in.

Ratjaculation
Aug 3, 2007

:parrot::parrot::parrot:



That is a cool doggie

purple death ray
Jul 28, 2007

me omw 2 steal ur girl

Shayu posted:

I have no grudge against dogs or cats but they are not appropriate to be kept inside. Whenever I have entered a home of a dog owner the furniture and floors were smelling like dog, the fur from the dog was everywhere. I assume the same with cats. Dogs and cats are unclean animals and should be left outside, they are animals and do not exist inside.

A good animal to be kept inside is a bird, they are very clean animals even in nature and should be kept inside to be safe from predator animals (like cats and dogs).

Eat poo poo, keeping a cat outside is basically a death sentence

Orange DeviI
Nov 9, 2011

by Hand Knit
birds are clean, good joke

a crisp refreshing Moxie
May 2, 2007


Travis343 posted:

Eat poo poo, keeping a cat outside is basically a death sentence

This sentence is...for the birds! :haw:

King Vidiot
Feb 17, 2007

You think you can take me at Satan's Hollow? Go 'head on!

Travis343 posted:

Eat poo poo, keeping a cat outside is basically a death sentence

Unless you live in the country, an outside cat is not "your cat" it's just "a cat you feed when it's around". And it's going to die, either in the road or poisoned or shot by some crotchety rear end in a top hat.

e: Also yeah, "outside cats" within town/city limits will annihilate bird species. Don't loving keep your cat outside, but if you can't even manage that then at least get them fixed.

house of the dad
Jul 4, 2005

I had a first date last week where the girl brought her dog. Dog was great and she was terrible.

Shayu
Feb 9, 2014
Five dollars for five words.

Travis343 posted:

Eat poo poo, keeping a cat outside is basically a death sentence

People who are given death sentences usually not execute for over a decade, by that time a cat would of live its whole life out. There is no need to be angry.

Ratjaculation
Aug 3, 2007

:parrot::parrot::parrot:



Can we agree; don't own an animal if you are oval office?

Dog lady however doesn't look like a oval office, so dog is good

Megillah Gorilla
Sep 22, 2003

If only all of life's problems could be solved by smoking a professor of ancient evil texts.



Bread Liar

Ratjaculation posted:

Can we agree; don't own an animal if you are Shayu?

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purple death ray
Jul 28, 2007

me omw 2 steal ur girl

Shayu posted:

People who are given death sentences usually not execute for over a decade, by that time a cat would of live its whole life out. There is no need to be angry.

Outside cats live on average 2-5 years before dying horribly compared to 12-20 years for inside cats, it's basically animal cruelty and should be illegal hope that helps

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