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Well... helldumping is about digging up the past...
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Sep 10, 2016 18:06
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Thin Privilege posted:Kitty, I know one of the other cats is your enemy but your growling and hissing started a fight between 3 cats and you just jumped onto the shelf to watch. I am glad I know how to break up fights but seriously, you are a crazy rear end in a top hat. That cat is a boss and you should be praising him instead of insulting him on a dead gay forum 
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Sep 12, 2016 10:41
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 Guess which dog ate a bag of flour today?
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Sep 14, 2016 01:21
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wait a few hours and see which one starts farting clouds?
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Sep 14, 2016 03:39
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pizzadog posted:
the non murder-y one?
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Sep 14, 2016 18:05
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pizzadog posted:
Super energetic and excited with a white smear on it's nose? Your dog got in to your stash, not the flour.
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Sep 16, 2016 05:48
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KomodoWagon posted:That cat is a boss and you should be praising him instead of insulting him on a dead gay forum Maybe it was her plan all along 
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Sep 19, 2016 04:25
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pizzadog posted:
Omg
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Sep 19, 2016 05:39
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Pickle, you're very cute, but do you really need to sit outside my bedroom door and squeak all the time? I have other things I need to do, I can't just pet you all day. Also you don't need to be fed every two hours you fat idiot cat.
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Sep 24, 2016 20:53
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Lillie, stop being a loving oval office and scratching me if I look at you the wrong way or deviate a quarter inch from petting you along your spine. Quiggs, stop loving jumping on my lap when I eat Chinese begging for curry chicken; your nasty diarrhea is bad enough, even worse when I see you licking it, you sick gently caress. Todd, stop going into my mother-in-law's room to poo poo in her cats' litterbox. You have a perfectly good, JUST CLEANED one available. You orange gently caress. And ALL of you, stop swarming the goddamn kitchen the second I get home waiting for your wet food! You have expensive-rear end premium chicken chunks sitting right the gently caress there next to your water bowl. Fucks.
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Sep 26, 2016 18:31
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D34THROW posted:Lillie, stop being a loving oval office and scratching me if I look at you the wrong way or deviate a quarter inch from petting you along your spine.
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Sep 26, 2016 18:40
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Ginger, I know you are only a 6 month old puppy and the world is all new to you, but I am pretty sure the wicker bin I bought this past Saturday to store your toys in is not trying to murder you. You don't need to endlessly lunge and bark at it while cowering behind me, causing me to have to tip it over and let you carefully examine the spilled toy guts on the floor for twenty minutes before you decide it is ok and calm down.
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Sep 27, 2016 11:57
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crowbb posted:Ginger, I know you are only a 6 month old puppy and the world is all new to you, but I am pretty sure the wicker bin I bought this past Saturday to store your toys in is not trying to murder you. You don't need to endlessly lunge and bark at it while cowering behind me, causing me to have to tip it over and let you carefully examine the spilled toy guts on the floor for twenty minutes before you decide it is ok and calm down. D'awwwwwwwww! :3
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Sep 27, 2016 22:18
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My rear end in a top hat dog has probably cost me nearly $10k in 3 and a half months of ownership between a surgery, food allergies, and a bad reaction to medication, so have a picture of him mid-sneeze.  try to be dignified NOW, dickhead
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Sep 28, 2016 02:47
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ElectricSheep posted:My rear end in a top hat dog has probably cost me nearly $10k in 3 and a half months of ownership between a surgery, food allergies, and a bad reaction to medication, so have a picture of him mid-sneeze. best helldump picture in a while thanks 
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Sep 28, 2016 12:27
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ElectricSheep posted:My rear end in a top hat dog has probably cost me nearly $10k in 3 and a half months of ownership between a surgery, food allergies, and a bad reaction to medication, so have a picture of him mid-sneeze. gently caress is wrong with him; is he a greyhound or a horror story? Quiggs, STOP loving getting under my feet. Want to know why your tail and paws are getting stepped on? It's because you have a death wish for me, you twiggy rear end in a top hat. And stop making GBS threads in our bedroom and pissing and making GBS threads in the garage, you sick old gently caress. [Jokes aside, he IS getting old and probably will have to be put to sleep soon so he doesn't suffer as he dies slowly.  ]
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Sep 28, 2016 14:37
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ElectricSheep posted:My rear end in a top hat dog has probably cost me nearly $10k in 3 and a half months of ownership between a surgery, food allergies, and a bad reaction to medication, so have a picture of him mid-sneeze. I think your dog is missing a few polygons there. This might not strictly belong in the thread, but on Tuna's behalf I would like to helldump the dumb idiot who keeps sticking his stupid face into Tuna's side and getting his face mauled (it is me I am the idiot, I cannot resist the call of floof ).
The Lord of Hats fucked around with this message at 19:25 on Sep 28, 2016 |
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Sep 28, 2016 18:58
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Decoy. Stop being such a fat motherfucker. Except you can't and now you're 7.5kg (16.5 pounds  ) and on a diet and under house arrest so you stop scavenging and you are the feline embodiment of hanger and are hating every minute of it and your only effort thus far to exercise has been to scream the house down for food and just gently caress you.E: While I'm at it, Sterling this is all your fault, if you didn't lose your poo poo every time Decoy tried to play with anything he would not have turned into this corpulent mess. Calm your tits dog. Tamarillo fucked around with this message at 11:44 on Sep 29, 2016 |
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Sep 29, 2016 11:41
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ElectricSheep posted:My rear end in a top hat dog has probably cost me nearly $10k in 3 and a half months of ownership between a surgery, food allergies, and a bad reaction to medication, so have a picture of him mid-sneeze. Well, gonna need some booze to scrub that mental image away. How much of that 10k was for souls of the damned to feed your hellhound?
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Sep 29, 2016 20:05
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"I am Gmork and you, whoever you are, can have the honor of being my last victim."
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Sep 29, 2016 20:11
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Dora you are a very nice chicken, really friendly and an excellent producer of delicious nourishing eggs. I like how you sit on my shoulder like a parrot with a glandular imbalance and snore gently. But please don't poo poo down my back before I get in the car.
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Sep 30, 2016 20:49
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Macready I can see you winding up to paff me in the face. You're not subtle. Put the paw down and go about your business or you're chucked off the desk for the night.
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Sep 30, 2016 20:58
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Morningwoodpecker posted:Dora you are a very nice chicken, really friendly and an excellent producer of delicious nourishing eggs. I like how you sit on my shoulder like a parrot with a glandular imbalance and snore gently. This is kind of your fault for having a chicken on your shoulder. They are not the cleverest of beasts.
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Oct 1, 2016 11:44
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Bertrand Hustle posted:This is kind of your fault for having a chicken on your shoulder. They are not the cleverest of beasts. She gets herself up there I have little choice in the matter, crapping on her favorite perch is dumb even for a chicken. Mabel is even dumber she lays eggs against the door overnight so they roll down the ramp and break when it's opened in the morning, then she eats them. Hang on that's not dumb at all  curse you chickens and your Machiavellian cannibalistic plots.
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Oct 1, 2016 21:05
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Kai, stop loving oinking every time you hear Mimi chittering. You already knocked her up and you're 3 times her size; more boom boom will kill her and the babies. And speaking of Mimi, eat your drat veggies. We have all these treats and you only want cucumbers. Fuckin' pig. I swear to Christ, Lillie, if you wake me and my daughter up again by scratching my loving bed just so I'll get up so you can run in my mother-in-law's room to poo poo, I'll drop-kick you into next year. ESPECIALLY when there's one readily available for you to poo poo in in the living room. Feline Ownership Identity Disorder is a real thing; Lillie thinks she's our fuckin' cat. Eats our food, drinks our water, spends her day out with us...but she's my mother-in-law's, so she shits in her litterbox.
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Oct 3, 2016 14:01
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 Squishy, you really need to go out and find real friends!
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Oct 5, 2016 15:33
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An accurate illustration* of my cat anytime I try to sleep with him out of the bedroom. This goes on for up to an hour and a half sometimes. When he gets tired of that, he rams into my door. All 17-18 pounds of him. When I get up to pee, he realizes I am at least conscious enough to walk, and starts anew. Percival, why are you so drat codependant....?!  YOU'VE BEEN MEOWING SINCE 4:30 AM AND IT'S 6:15 AM STOP. I WILL TOTALLY GET THE COMPRESSED AIR CAN AND SPRAY UNDER THE DOOR AT YOU I SWEAR.((*- with credit to http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/2010/05/sneaky-hate-spiral.html?m=1)) Freakbox fucked around with this message at 12:18 on Oct 10, 2016 |
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Oct 10, 2016 12:15
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Let the cat in.
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Oct 10, 2016 12:51
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I dunno, a 17 pound cat laying on your face is an actual health risk.
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Oct 10, 2016 14:25
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Sukie, get out of the bathroom. Sure, good morning to you too, but shoving open the bathroom door the moment I step out of the shower to rub against my legs is just getting weird. Oh, and trying to start a fight with the neighbours cat from the other side of a plate glass window just makes you look like an idiot.
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Oct 11, 2016 22:08
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CainFortea posted:I dunno, a 17 pound cat laying on your face is an actual health risk. This is true. My 16 pound cat made me wake up thinking my leg was dead from him sleeping on it. I had to shoo him off and sit up for a bit before I could stand.
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Oct 12, 2016 02:02
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Thanks Wraggler, for standing up, having a good sneeze, then refusing to go outside (you know that getting me out of bed means you go out, if that works at 5am it can bloody well happen at 2). You're now curled up sleeping, and I'm awake at stupid o'clock. Again. On the plus side I did just have a 'why the hell am I awake at 2am' snack of a mouthful of cake and a glass of milk...
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Oct 12, 2016 02:24
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Dear Jules, You are the most useless hunter. You won't play with the Mr. Bird toy anymore, but you bonked your little head into a window trying to get at a hawk outside in the yard. That is why you do not go outside! I once put an earwig on a PLATE for you hoping you would notice it. You did not. However, you did steal my hot dog and then leave half a chewed-up hot dog in my bed for me, so thanks for that. A notice: When your owners go into the bathroom and close the door, we are not dying. The sound of running water does not mean we are being drowned to death. You do not need to sit outside the door and yell, you do not need to scratch at the door and scrape the paint off it, and you certainly do not need to jump up and hang off the doorknob like an ornament, as impressive as it is that you made the "yellow shiny thing = open door" connection. When you do manage to get in, sitting on the toilet seat and yelling at your mommy while she is taking a bath is not the best way to help her relax. Also, where are you getting the chicken bones you keep leaving in the hallway? The last time we had a whole chicken was nearly two months ago, yet you've been leaving bones in the hall for a week. It started out with a little thigh bone and then went up to a raggedy breast bone. Are you somehow sneaking out into the garbage and then sneaking back in through two layers of locked doors? Did you hide the bones for safekeeping? Did a chicken somehow get into the apartment? I do not understand.
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Oct 12, 2016 20:54
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Harriet, I know you know how to use your litter box because I clean it daily. Why the actual gently caress are you pooping in your water bowl every loving day. Really annoying to come home from work and have to clean that too.
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Oct 13, 2016 03:20
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Show Me A Chicken posted:Also, where are you getting the chicken bones you keep leaving in the hallway? The last time we had a whole chicken was nearly two months ago, yet you've been leaving bones in the hall for a week. It started out with a little thigh bone and then went up to a raggedy breast bone. Are you somehow sneaking out into the garbage and then sneaking back in through two layers of locked doors? Did you hide the bones for safekeeping? Did a chicken somehow get into the apartment? I do not understand. The answer is in your username. Jules is only obliging your request like a Good Cat.
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Oct 13, 2016 03:40
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Show Me A Chicken posted:A notice: When your owners go into the bathroom and close the door, we are not dying. The sound of running water does not mean we are being drowned to death. You do not need to sit outside the door and yell, you do not need to scratch at the door and scrape the paint off it, and you certainly do not need to jump up and hang off the doorknob like an ornament, as impressive as it is that you made the "yellow shiny thing = open door" connection. When you do manage to get in, sitting on the toilet seat and yelling at your mommy while she is taking a bath is not the best way to help her relax. Is your cat mine? I've had to replace 3 doorknobs due cats hanging on them 
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Oct 13, 2016 06:55
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My girlfriend's cat just hops onto the side of the tub, pushes the curtain out of the way, and whines at us until we spray some water at him so he can drink it. Cats are loving weird.
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Oct 13, 2016 07:12
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Cats. All I wanted was to walk to the bathroom to pee. I gently pushed you aside since you were in the road and you flopped down and started cleaning your butthole. Good way to start the day.
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Oct 13, 2016 14:11
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Lillie. You're cute and you're sweet, yes. But you're also lazy, fat, loud as gently caress, and a bitch. I can't loving hear the TV at night when you're sitting there kneading and licking my blanket right next to me, purring in my ear like a drat buzzsaw. Enough, ENOUGH with the goddamn in-and-out from your mother's room (my wife and I are not your loving owners, get over the ownership identity crisis), because every time you scratch, you ruin the carpet even more. It's already 2 inches back from the door all the way across, tacking exposed, bits of carpet flying under the door from the AC, and then the baby tries to eat them. loving STOP. Kai. You look stupid as gently caress when you sit there weeping with your mouth big enough to drive a car into. You're also loud as gently caress and I especially can't hear the TV over WEEP WEEP WEEP just because there's a female piggers 3 feet away from your cage or because you heard the wipes crinkle. Crinkles does not mean treats, you fat stinky pig. EDIT: Quiggs you eat the same food as everyone else why is your poo poo rancid diarrhea I'd rather stick my face in the litterbox after the other three cats use it than watch you poo poo with your head out of the hole, lick the poo poo, and run away from your own stench why fuckhead why And stop batting at the loving guinea pigs! Kai wants to do nothing but love you, he tries to talk to you when you're nearby and he always goes toward you when you meow. He cares, you shitlicking dicklick! D34THROW fucked around with this message at 18:21 on Oct 13, 2016 |
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Oct 13, 2016 15:11
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Vixen, shut up. Please for the love of god for just one day shut up! You will be fed, you will always be fed, you do not have to headbutt my door open to demand wet food, let me go to the bathroom and get dressed first. Yowling nonstop will not speed me up. And stop bullying Monique away from her food and hitting her and Ruby in general! It was my sister's idea to adopt you back in '07 and even she admits it was a mistake now! Monique learn to bury your poo poo and Ruby learn to tolerate brushes, your fur is knotting up like mad.
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Oct 13, 2016 22:17
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