I had Eggo Waffles and Jimmy Dean sausage for breakfast

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > BYOB Goldmine: Gold Mango > I had Eggo Waffles and Jimmy Dean sausage for breakfast

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Vincent Van Goatse: Enjoy every sandwich.

so I guess you could ask me about just not giving a goddamned gently caress any more

# ? Sep 22, 2016 15:09

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# ? Apr 20, 2024 00:46

misty mountaintop: by Hand Knit

Worried about my teenage son. I found a box of Eggos in his room hidden in the underwear drawer.

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# ? Sep 22, 2016 15:11

FluffieDuckie

hi friend

please don't just make threads to tell us about things you're doing. you can make posts about that in the stickied hello and chat thread

Thank you for the beautiful sig Machai!

# ? Sep 22, 2016 15:12

misty mountaintop: by Hand Knit

The hot new game with Urban Teens is Deaning: literally eating Jimmy Dean sausages for breakfast.

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# ? Sep 22, 2016 15:12

Bert Roberge

You are like some crazy combination of Eleven and Donna Meade Dean.

# ? Sep 22, 2016 15:12

FluffieDuckie

or misty can show us how to save a thread

thank you misty

Thank you for the beautiful sig Machai!

# ? Sep 22, 2016 15:12

misty mountaintop: by Hand Knit

Me: What are these, Trevor? WHAT ARE THESE *shaking box of pop tarts*
Trevor: You know what they are mom
Me: Who taught you about these? Where did you learn this behavior?
Trevor: FROM YOU, MOM, I LEARNED IT FROM YOU

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# ? Sep 22, 2016 15:14

FluffieDuckie

misty mountaintop posted:

Me: What are these, Trevor? WHAT ARE THESE *shaking box of pop tarts*
Trevor: You know what they are mom
Me: Who taught you about these? Where did you learn this behavior?
Trevor: FROM YOU, MOM, I LEARNED IT FROM YOU

Thank you for the beautiful sig Machai!

# ? Sep 22, 2016 15:15

Piso Mojado

misty mountaintop posted:

Me: What are these, Trevor? WHAT ARE THESE *shaking box of pop tarts*
Trevor: You know what they are mom
Me: Who taught you about these? Where did you learn this behavior?
Trevor: FROM YOU, MOM, I LEARNED IT FROM YOU

# ? Sep 22, 2016 15:17

Piso Mojado

I think my teenage son has a breakfast problem.

# ? Sep 22, 2016 15:19

Piso Mojado

first tine posting here in E/N. it started innocently enough with an eggo here, a belvita breakfast cookie there, but I drove by IHOP late last night and saw him with some friends ordering pancakes. advice?

# ? Sep 22, 2016 15:20

Piso Mojado

"This is your brain on breakfast"

[dramatically sizzles a bunch of dank weed nugs in a frying pan]

# ? Sep 22, 2016 15:23

City of Glompton

With convenience breakfast foods available at every cornerstore, and the ability to make homemade breakfast foods with just a few ingredients found in any kitchen, America's youth are in crisis.

We'll explore the issue and meet some of the kids who are *dramatic pause*

Addicted To Breakfast. Tonight on 20/20,

thank you PSP for the beautiful spring sig

# ? Sep 22, 2016 15:27

FactsAreUseless

Toaster Strudel. Toaster. Struuuuudel. Toaster toaster toaster toaster. Stru. Del. Strudel.

They is, they is, they is

# ? Sep 22, 2016 15:30

eonwe

on the next episode of Scared Straight we'll look at kids who will do anything to get that next hit of bacon

# ? Sep 22, 2016 15:32

Vincent Van Goatse: Enjoy every sandwich.

FactsAreUseless posted:

Toaster Strudel. Toaster. Struuuuudel. Toaster toaster toaster toaster. Stru. Del. Strudel.

They is, they is, they is

I never thought cream cheese would be an appropriate filler in Toaster Strudels. I was very mistaken in this belief.

# ? Sep 22, 2016 15:32

FactsAreUseless

[while assembling a waffle house] Lego my Eggo!

# ? Sep 22, 2016 15:32

misty mountaintop: by Hand Knit

Piso Mojado posted:

"This is your brain on breakfast"

[dramatically sizzles a bunch of dank weed nugs in a frying pan]

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# ? Sep 22, 2016 15:32

eonwe

breaking: local man works at Ihop after losing a leg in tragic pancake accident

# ? Sep 22, 2016 15:35

Tiberius Thyben: Gone Phishing

Street junkies are increasingly exposed to cheaper, unpredictable and dangerous breakfasts cut with experimental or poisonous ingredients. On the street, these are called "McMuffins"

# ? Sep 22, 2016 15:35

Luvcow: One day nearer spring

"next on WHDH Boston, a local woman was found to be feeding her children sausage... for breakfast, the full story after the commercial break"

*co anchor grits teeth and lowers head while crumpling the papers in front of her, whispers* "what the gently caress is wrong w..." *commercials begin*

# ? Sep 22, 2016 15:37

misty mountaintop: by Hand Knit

FactsAreUseless posted:

Toaster Strudel. Toaster. Struuuuudel. Toaster toaster toaster toaster. Stru. Del. Strudel.

They is, they is, they is

If this is a reference to that Tobias Wolff short story, I want you to know that I got it, because I am well-read.

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# ? Sep 22, 2016 15:37

Luvcow: One day nearer spring

*tony montana sits at his desk, an enormous pile of sausage and pancakes in front of him*

# ? Sep 22, 2016 15:39

FactsAreUseless

misty mountaintop posted:

If this is a reference to that Tobias Wolff short story, I want you to know that I got it, because I am well-read.

It is.

# ? Sep 22, 2016 15:40

eonwe

police responded to a call after multiple reports of a man, "coocoo for cocoa puffs"

# ? Sep 22, 2016 15:41

FactsAreUseless

Where we're going, we don't need eyes to see the taste you can see.

# ? Sep 22, 2016 15:49

Salmiakki

Luvcow posted:

*tony montana sits at his desk, an enormous pile of sausage and pancakes in front of him*

https://twitter.com/sallymiakki
ty cat dynamite

# ? Sep 22, 2016 15:52

eonwe

*calls the cops* officer? these kids are always trying to steal my lucky charms

# ? Sep 22, 2016 15:53

Nooner: AN A+ OPSTER (:

thats a cool breakfast, I'm going to have two (2) banannas (bananni? :confused:

) and some celery, i try to keep brekkie light and healthy

# ? Sep 22, 2016 15:53

loquacius

Nooner posted:

thats a cool breakfast, I'm going to have two (2) banannas (bananni? ) and some celery, i try to keep brekkie light and healthy

celery is a gateway breakfast to heavier stuff though

# ? Sep 22, 2016 15:54

Ein cooler Typ: by FactsAreUseless

that sounds unhealthy

I only eat fried chicken for breakfast

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# ? Sep 22, 2016 15:56

loquacius

*stands on sidewalk corner leaning against wall* Psst. Hey. Hey kid. Kid. You want some breakfast? *holds out tantalizing baggie of chopped celery sticks* First meal is free. You want more, you come find me. I got that Jimmy D, I got that Special K, I got Two Scoops, I got Snap Crackle Pop, anything you need. Most important meal of the day, son.

# ? Sep 22, 2016 15:56

FactsAreUseless

I sink my entire body into a warm oatmeal bath. I let it pour through my folds and crevices, the oatmeal swallows me whole and soon I forget my body entirely. Carefully, I eat an egg.

# ? Sep 22, 2016 15:56

social vegan

*covertly receives double down from clerk, checks in bag, slams it down on the counter*: well what the good god heck man, you promised me

clerk: whoah whoah whaoh, calm down *looks side to side, leans slowly over and whispers* they are the bun

# ? Sep 22, 2016 16:00

Piso Mojado

FactsAreUseless posted:

I sink my entire body into a warm oatmeal bath. I let it pour through my folds and crevices, the oatmeal swallows me whole and soon I forget my body entirely. Carefully, I eat an egg.

gently sliding into oatmeal bath with FAU. nothing romantic, just two guys who love breakfast, sharing the experience together. Not a word is spoken as the oatmeal works it's way over me. I eat an egg.

# ? Sep 22, 2016 16:05

misty mountaintop: by Hand Knit

loquacius posted:

*stands on sidewalk corner leaning against wall* Psst. Hey. Hey kid. Kid. You want some breakfast? *holds out tantalizing baggie of chopped celery sticks* First meal is free. You want more, you come find me. I got that Jimmy D, I got that Special K, I got Two Scoops, I got Snap Crackle Pop, anything you need. Most important meal of the day, son.

hahah

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# ? Sep 22, 2016 16:10

HighwireAct: Pozzo's Hat

# ? Sep 22, 2016 16:14

Piso Mojado

HighwireAct posted:

# ? Sep 22, 2016 16:16

google THIS

misty mountaintop posted:

Me: What are these, Trevor? WHAT ARE THESE *shaking box of pop tarts*
Trevor: You know what they are mom
Me: Who taught you about these? Where did you learn this behavior?
Trevor: FROM YOU, MOM, I LEARNED IT FROM YOU

HighwireAct posted:

# ? Sep 22, 2016 16:17

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# ? Apr 20, 2024 00:46

Vincent Van Goatse: Enjoy every sandwich.

one of the first great disappointments of adulthood was buying all the sugary cereals that my mother wouldn't buy for me as a child and finding out that they actually taste awful

# ? Sep 22, 2016 16:18

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > BYOB Goldmine: Gold Mango > I had Eggo Waffles and Jimmy Dean sausage for breakfast

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