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Bieeanshee
Aug 21, 2000

Not keen on keening.


Grimey Drawer
"One thing about living in Santa Carla I never could stomach; all the drat vampires."

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Cythereal
Nov 8, 2009

I love the potoo,
and the potoo loves you.

PurpleXVI posted:

Honestly she's great, I'd use her as an NPC in just about any game I could get her into. Especially if it's low-key investigative stuff. The old, slightly demented lady who invites them in for tea and biscuits, then when the chips are down and the monsters show up, she just wades in there with an assault rifle and body armour. Oh and the home knit sweaters she made for them, which they wore only to not upset her, turn out to be made of kevlar fibers and actually work as armour.

In any game with a sense of humour she'd be amazing.

Quite so, but somehow Beast doesn't strike me as a game written with humor in mind.

Hunter's always been my favorite of the World of Darkness for humor value, largely of the gallows variety but also for how absurd things can get.

Thesaurasaurus
Feb 15, 2010

"Send in Boxbot!"

I'm not sure why we're supposed to think unkindly of Granny Jones for assuming the worst when her son apparently (hard to tell, because White Wolf is allergic to clear writing) turned out to be a vampire who brings home girls to feed on and/or turn them into more vampires.

Vox Valentine
May 31, 2013

Solving all of life's problems through enhanced casting of Occam's Razor. Reward yourself with an imaginary chalice.

It starts off with you being a literal janitor for a Cheiron Group subsidiary accidentally given the ability to shoot Pandoran bees from your wrist due to a clerical error and gets better from there.

Josef bugman
Nov 17, 2011

Pictured: Poster prepares to celebrate Holy Communion (probablY)

This avatar made possible by a gift from the Religionthread Posters Relief Fund

Hostile V posted:

It starts off with you being a literal janitor for a Cheiron Group subsidiary accidentally given the ability to shoot Pandoran bees from your wrist due to a clerical error and gets better from there.

gently caress why isn't there an easier system to run hunter in over the internet.

Kurieg
Jul 19, 2012

RIP Lutri: 5/19/20-4/2/20
:blizz::gamefreak:

Thesaurasaurus posted:

I'm not sure why we're supposed to think unkindly of Granny Jones for assuming the worst when her son apparently (hard to tell, because White Wolf is allergic to clear writing) turned out to be a vampire who brings home girls to feed on and/or turn them into more vampires.

No, he was a Beast who brought home a vampire girlfriend to gently caress and then left her there... in the room in the house that he shares with his mother... because vampires sleep during the day.

Cythereal
Nov 8, 2009

I love the potoo,
and the potoo loves you.

Josef bugman posted:

gently caress why isn't there an easier system to run hunter in over the internet.

That's an actual sample PC from one of the Hunter books. You were a janitor put in for the procedure because your name is one letter different from the professional hitman who was supposed to get the procedure. You're both cleaners.

Kavak
Aug 23, 2009


Cythereal posted:

That's an actual sample PC from one of the Hunter books. You were a janitor put in for the procedure because your name is one letter different from the professional hitman who was supposed to get the procedure. You're both cleaners.

"Now you have parts of a monster inside you, a gun you don't know how to use, and a handbook that's worse than useless. You're in trouble."

Vox Valentine
May 31, 2013

Solving all of life's problems through enhanced casting of Occam's Razor. Reward yourself with an imaginary chalice.

And the Pandoran bee-launcher is in fact a real Cheiron Group endowment (though to my knowledge the janitor didn't get that one). They found a Galateid Pandoran (a Silent) in Dormancy (meaning it was taking the form of a statue or inanimate object, in this case "an ugly little metal statue") and then ended up melting it into ball bearings, making them hypoallergenic and injecting them into the arms of test subjects.

Cheiron rules, Hunter rules, everything rules.

Josef bugman
Nov 17, 2011

Pictured: Poster prepares to celebrate Holy Communion (probablY)

This avatar made possible by a gift from the Religionthread Posters Relief Fund

Cythereal posted:

That's an actual sample PC from one of the Hunter books. You were a janitor put in for the procedure because your name is one letter different from the professional hitman who was supposed to get the procedure. You're both cleaners.

That's incredible. You basically get promoted from being a janitor to being "The Pain" from Snake eater.

wiegieman
Apr 22, 2010

Royalty is a continuous cutting motion


Hunter is great. If it's not the slick corporate operators with bees coming out of their hands, it's the psychic FBI or the catholic priests with blessed sledgehammers.

mcclay
Jul 8, 2013

Oh dear oh gosh oh darn
Soiled Meat

wiegieman posted:

Hunter is great. If it's not the slick corporate operators with bees coming out of their hands, it's the psychic FBI or the catholic priests with blessed sledgehammers.

Or my favorite: a bunch of random working class assholes taking on the horrors of the night with nothing but hunting weaponry and tools turned vampire killers. Hunter loving rules.

Cythereal
Nov 8, 2009

I love the potoo,
and the potoo loves you.

wiegieman posted:

Hunter is great. If it's not the slick corporate operators with bees coming out of their hands, it's the psychic FBI or the catholic priests with blessed sledgehammers.

My favorite's always been the elite of the US armed forces going into the dark to remind the uglies that they stick to the shadows for a reason, equipped and supported by an R&D division with a budget of "Yes."

Night10194
Feb 13, 2012

We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

mcclay posted:

Or my favorite: a bunch of random working class assholes taking on the horrors of the night with nothing but hunting weaponry and tools turned vampire killers. Hunter loving rules.

"The forces of darkness are an occupying army and the people are sympathetic to you. Show the bloodsuckers why that can really suck." is the hook Hunter always should've had as its elevator pitch instead of whatever the gently caress was with The Reckoning.

There was one line from The Reckoning that always stood out to me, though: "I'm not immortal. But neither are they."

Kurieg
Jul 19, 2012

RIP Lutri: 5/19/20-4/2/20
:blizz::gamefreak:
Oh you are going to hate how Beast deals with Hunters.

Night10194
Feb 13, 2012

We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

Kurieg posted:

Oh you are going to hate how Beast deals with Hunters.

Let me guess: "Ah, but do you have the RIGHT to hunt me? I'm super important."

Hunter (Beast Version): "How could I ever harm such a pure and noble soul who has much more important things to deal with than me?"

Hunter (Hunter Version): "Like this. *Blam*."

Kurieg
Jul 19, 2012

RIP Lutri: 5/19/20-4/2/20
:blizz::gamefreak:
Pretty much that except somehow worse.

Night10194
Feb 13, 2012

We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

Alternative Hunter (VASCU Version): "You're under arrest on charges of murder, kidnapping and building some kind of class 5 narrative-spatial anomaly in an old high school boiler room."

Cythereal
Nov 8, 2009

I love the potoo,
and the potoo loves you.
FEW HAVE EVER KNOWN SUCH HARDSHIP, OR ENDURED SUCH BETRAYAL.


At least it's not a magical windchime god who's supposed to be a supreme personification of good detailing this.

Kurieg
Jul 19, 2012

RIP Lutri: 5/19/20-4/2/20
:blizz::gamefreak:
Oh god Matt is Xe'ra

:psyduck:

Night10194
Feb 13, 2012

We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

Cythereal posted:

FEW HAVE EVER KNOWN SUCH HARDSHIP, OR ENDURED SUCH BETRAYAL.


At least it's not a magical windchime god who's supposed to be a supreme personification of good detailing this.

What the fresh hell is this.

Kurieg
Jul 19, 2012

RIP Lutri: 5/19/20-4/2/20
:blizz::gamefreak:
The latest World of Warcraft expansion has a series of quests given to you by a creature that is a floating personification of Holy Magic.

In these quests you follow the life and times of Illidan Stormrage while said embodiment of good talks about how he is the child of light and dark and will be the one to save us all and would have done it years ago if you stupid adventurers had just sacrificed your lives to him like you were supposed to. Because sacrificing unwilling people is the embodiment of good somehow.

Night10194
Feb 13, 2012

We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

Kurieg posted:

The latest World of Warcraft expansion has a series of quests given to you by a creature that is a floating personification of Holy Magic.

In these quests you follow the life and times of Illidan Stormrage while said embodiment of good talks about how he is the child of light and dark and will be the one to save us all and would have done it years ago if you stupid adventurers had just sacrificed your lives to him like you were supposed to. Because sacrificing unwilling people is the embodiment of good somehow.

Well that does sound basically exactly like Beast.

Zereth
Jul 9, 2003



Kurieg posted:

The latest World of Warcraft expansion has a series of quests given to you by a creature that is a floating personification of Holy Magic.

In these quests you follow the life and times of Illidan Stormrage while said embodiment of good talks about how he is the child of light and dark and will be the one to save us all and would have done it years ago if you stupid adventurers had just sacrificed your lives to him like you were supposed to. Because sacrificing unwilling people is the embodiment of good somehow.
Weren't the PCs fighting Illidan in part because he was doing ridiculous cartoon supervillain poo poo like trying to steal ALL THE WATER?

Kurieg
Jul 19, 2012

RIP Lutri: 5/19/20-4/2/20
:blizz::gamefreak:
The current consensus is "playing as a raid boss is cool but this is literally the exact opposite of everything the game has said for twelve years now. Also that's not how utilitarianism works."

The Lone Badger
Sep 24, 2007

PurpleXVI posted:

Honestly she's great, I'd use her as an NPC in just about any game I could get her into. Especially if it's low-key investigative stuff. The old, slightly demented lady who invites them in for tea and biscuits, then when the chips are down and the monsters show up, she just wades in there with an assault rifle and body armour. Oh and the home knit sweaters she made for them, which they wore only to not upset her, turn out to be made of kevlar fibers and actually work as armour.

This is basically Charity from the Dresden Files.

Cythereal
Nov 8, 2009

I love the potoo,
and the potoo loves you.

Zereth posted:

Weren't the PCs fighting Illidan in part because he was doing ridiculous cartoon supervillain poo poo like trying to steal ALL THE WATER?

Yes. And his response to "Yo, could you please not turn half the holiest temple of my people into a den of hookers, succubi, and drugs" is to rip the soul out of the complainer and use it to magically subjugate him and his entire tribe.

Josef bugman
Nov 17, 2011

Pictured: Poster prepares to celebrate Holy Communion (probablY)

This avatar made possible by a gift from the Religionthread Posters Relief Fund
They had better not be loving with Akama. I swear to god the broken were some of the coolest looking models in the game and if they decided to poo poo on them for no reason other than jacking of Illidan "several thousand second chances" stormrage I am going to puke in a hat.

Kurieg
Jul 19, 2012

RIP Lutri: 5/19/20-4/2/20
:blizz::gamefreak:
When you make a demon Hunter you have to choose between two people to be your second in command. Either Alturis, who thinks Illidan was insane, or Kayn who's his biggest fan boy.


Later when you encounter Akama he's perfectly willing to help Alturis, but Kayn rips out his soul and binds it to your service against his will.

Mors Rattus
Oct 25, 2007

FATAL & Friends
Walls of Text
#1 Builder
2014-2018

So is there ever a reason to pick Kayn?

Rigged Death Trap
Feb 13, 2012

BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP

Would cheiron industries go a bit like:

"My god how could something be so dense without exhibiting any form of gravitational force? Questions for later. Samples now."

Rigged Death Trap fucked around with this message at 23:36 on Sep 30, 2016

Kurieg
Jul 19, 2012

RIP Lutri: 5/19/20-4/2/20
:blizz::gamefreak:
If you like Blood Elves more than Night Elves, or have a grudge against Alturis for his questline from TBC, or are roleplaying someone who's completely drunk the Illidan is awesome Fel-Aid

Rigged Death Trap posted:

Would cheiron go a bit like:

"My god how could something be so dense without exhibiting any form of gravitational force? Questions for later. Samples now."

So... Mordin?

Vox Valentine
May 31, 2013

Solving all of life's problems through enhanced casting of Occam's Razor. Reward yourself with an imaginary chalice.

Rigged Death Trap posted:

Would cheiron industries go a bit like:

"My god how could something be so dense without exhibiting any form of gravitational force? Questions for later. Samples now."
"The sample we'd like you to acquire is capable of a unique biological mutation. In short, the specimen hosts a bizarre physical abnormality that seems to allow vocal projection from the lower posterior of its anatomy. We've got our own pet theories; I have the opinion that it might possess some kind of unobstructed esophageal passage that might bypass the lowers intestines and run parallel with the spine. My colleague, Doctor Hendricks, believes there might be a secondary or vestigial larynx located in the same neighborhood as the colon that allows it to speak when air is passed through. Either way, the mission is simple: bag the specimen, secure it and prep it for vivisection and study. If you absolutely must operate on-site be my guest but we promise to keep an OR warm for your return."

Josef bugman
Nov 17, 2011

Pictured: Poster prepares to celebrate Holy Communion (probablY)

This avatar made possible by a gift from the Religionthread Posters Relief Fund

Hostile V posted:

"The sample we'd like you to acquire is capable of a unique biological mutation. In short, the specimen hosts a bizarre physical abnormality that seems to allow vocal projection from the lower posterior of its anatomy. We've got our own pet theories; I have the opinion that it might possess some kind of unobstructed esophageal passage that might bypass the lowers intestines and run parallel with the spine. My colleague, Doctor Hendricks, believes there might be a secondary or vestigial larynx located in the same neighborhood as the colon that allows it to speak when air is passed through. Either way, the mission is simple: bag the specimen, secure it and prep it for vivisection and study. If you absolutely must operate on-site be my guest but we promise to keep an OR warm for your return."

I would personally like to see the Thule reaction to beasts "Is it punishing Nazi's?" "No it isn't" "Then we set it on fire and steal its books. gently caress this creature."

Vox Valentine
May 31, 2013

Solving all of life's problems through enhanced casting of Occam's Razor. Reward yourself with an imaginary chalice.

The longer I think the more I imagine a bunch of Task Force: Valkyrie desk jockeys whose job it is to compile instances of Hero activity to compile and send monthly files to the top officials of VASCU. Because while they're not willing to waste money/silver bullets/giant gently caress-off UV cannons on a bunch of rampaging vigilantes, they're not willing to let potential serial killers get away with breaking the law and give the Feds a bunch of easy collars/people of interest to monitor that aren't a ten-foot-tall immortal idiot death machine that perceives any human contact as a threat. The easy busts are a good, cheap way to rebuild friendship for when the serial killer ends up being a vampire and TFV boots start kicking VASCU suits out of the way to get at them. Also easy arrests where the perp is a (mostly) normal person is a good way to make VASCU look good and keep the funding coming and they don't necessarily need to be sent to Lansing.

Of course this train of thought also leads to, like, a prison in New Mexico under VASCU control that just holds Heroes and the weird culture that would crop up from a bunch of them forced to live in the same building.

Night10194
Feb 13, 2012

We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

Hostile V posted:

The longer I think the more I imagine a bunch of Task Force: Valkyrie desk jockeys whose job it is to compile instances of Hero activity to compile and send monthly files to the top officials of VASCU. Because while they're not willing to waste money/silver bullets/giant gently caress-off UV cannons on a bunch of rampaging vigilantes, they're not willing to let potential serial killers get away with breaking the law and give the Feds a bunch of easy collars/people of interest to monitor that aren't a ten-foot-tall immortal idiot death machine that perceives any human contact as a threat. The easy busts are a good, cheap way to rebuild friendship for when the serial killer ends up being a vampire and TFV boots start kicking VASCU suits out of the way to get at them. Also easy arrests where the perp is a (mostly) normal person is a good way to make VASCU look good and keep the funding coming and they don't necessarily need to be sent to Lansing.

Of course this train of thought also leads to, like, a prison in New Mexico under VASCU control that just holds Heroes and the weird culture that would crop up from a bunch of them forced to live in the same building.

Anything that plays up the relationship between VASCU and TFV is good. The "Cowboy!" "Paper-Pusher!" relationship between them is a wonderful take on having two secret government anti-monster agencies.

Mors Rattus
Oct 25, 2007

FATAL & Friends
Walls of Text
#1 Builder
2014-2018

VASCU is obviously the good guys, though. I love them so much. "Okay, we have to arrest and mirandize the werewolf, and that means we have to line the silver cuffs with something and inform them, so they don't shift to get out of them and we don't lose the collar on an allergy."

Night10194
Feb 13, 2012

We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

Mors Rattus posted:

VASCU is obviously the good guys, though. I love them so much. "Okay, we have to arrest and mirandize the werewolf, and that means we have to line the silver cuffs with something and inform them, so they don't shift to get out of them and we don't lose the collar on an allergy."

There is something uniquely heroic about facing a nightmare from beyond normal reality and still having time for proper procedure, minimum necessary force, and rule of law.

Robindaybird
Aug 21, 2007

Neat. Sweet. Petite.

God drat I want to run hunter, but I hate the system - I've even gone as far as thought up a compact based on Murder, Inc. - The Five Families having a special group of cleaners go after the things that bump in the night that's making a mess of their business.

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Night10194
Feb 13, 2012

We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

Robindaybird posted:

God drat I want to run hunter, but I hate the system - I've even gone as far as thought up a compact based on Murder, Inc. - The Five Families having a special group of cleaners go after the things that bump in the night that's making a mess of their business.

I just use Unisystem or something.

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