this is totally how real people talk and interact posted:

So here's what happened:

My friend, Mike, and his GF, Claire, went with a group of friends (I was among them) and we had a great time, except, there was an orbiter around Claire most of the time. He was COMPLETELY oblivious to the fact that Claire and Mike were dating and he was trying to win her love with his holy fedora by opening doors for her and other stuff that fedora wearing Knights like to do to get laid.

Well, Mike notices and decides to have fun with it. In front of the WK, he grabs her rear end, whisper to her all that and WK is VISIBLY pissed.

He tells Mike in private that, "You need to back off dude. She doesn't like that and it's rape." He laughs and ignores him and WK is telling Claire that, "if she needs help", or "she needs him to to help."

At this point Claire notices the WK and has fun also and tries to, in her words, "encourage him to do more". Now, they are not bad people, but they absolute HATE White Knights.

At the end of our day, they go with one last thing.

WK pulls Mike again and warns him, "Bro, one last time and I'm gonna kick your rear end. BACK OFF. She told me she doesn't want you and that she respects me. She is clearly not into you."

Mike replies, "Oh yeah? If you think you have a shot at her using your loving white knight skills, you need to see the real world bro. She isn't in to you st all, trust me and save yourself the touble."

Wk says, "I already warned you."

Mike replies, "Bro, I am gonna gently caress her real good tonight bro."

WK is getting redder and more angrier because his "true love" is getting threatened.

WK says, "are you trying to start a fight?"

Mike replies, "gently caress, you are retarded."

Then Mark(EDIT: MIKE, NOT MARK) says loudly, " Hey Babe! Do you love me?"

Claire says, "Huh? Of course! Why would you think not?"

I knew at this point, it was about to go down

Mike says, "Well, our friend here is convinced that you love him because of all the things he did for you. I think we should show him how thankful we are. You want the condom off, or on this time?"

Claire replies, "I think off is better. I like the taste."
(Sidenote : we are all aware of their sex life, and they know ours)

WK is SUPER embarrassed and literally runs out of the building and we haven't seen or heard of him since.

I will update later after work to tell you guys what happened to the WK once I talk to his friend, who, BTW is a girl.

EDIT : MARK--->MIKE. I DIDN'T NOTICE THE TYPO AND THOUGHT IT WAS A JOKE

ibntumart posted:

Non Serviam posted:

It's incredible how a story can make me want to kill people... But here we are.

CROWS EVERYWHERE posted:

And both would be in the refrigerated section, right?

Xen Tricks posted:

Aren't m'lady's and people that believe in the concept of consent/rape usually two entirely different groups?

Fathis Munk posted:

I don't think I ever bought eggs from a refrigerated section over here. They're just next to our non refrigerated milk.

Bertrand Hustle posted:

1. Anyone ignorant enough to think that an old Asian guy who doesn't speak much English is the height of comedy absolutely does not know if he's Chinese, Japanese, Korean, or anything else.

Fathis Munk posted:

I don't think I ever bought eggs from a refrigerated section over here. They're just next to our non refrigerated milk.

Choco1980 posted:

How do you keep milk from curdling?

Magna Kaser posted:

yeah America is weird and puts eggs in the fridge unlike most of the world.

Choco1980 posted:

How do you keep milk from curdling?

Fathis Munk posted:

You know, I really should have known better than start yet another milk derail. Please someone post the milk in plastic bag picture that this always ends on and let's just move on.

Jerry Cotton posted:

Jerry Cotton posted:

The colour of the yolk is due to diet, not preference.

Shai-Hulud posted:

Is that viper free milk though?

Tunicate posted:

Owner Owning Up
Cafe | Denver, CO, USA | Awesome Workers, Bosses & Owners, Food & Drink

(My wife and I are at a work conference in Denver. On our way out of town, we stop at a little cafe to have an early lunch. The place is empty, and it seems like there is only one waitress and a cook in the whole place. The kitchen is open so you can watch the guy walking around. The waitress is pleasant and brings us our drinks promptly, and takes our orders.)

Wife: “I’ll have the [Burger] with fries.”

Me: “I’ll have the pastrami sandwich with fries.”

Waitress: “I’ll get that started for you. Anything else I can get you in the meantime?”

Us: “No, thanks.”

(As we wait, we can overhear the cook talking animatedly on the phone, though we can’t really tell what he is saying. He puts our order on the counter, lets the waitress know, takes off his apron, and walks out the back. The waitress brings us our food and everything looks all right. The waitress leaves and we start eating.)

Wife: “These fries are kinda overdone.”

Me: “They are pretty crispy…”

(I dig around and see that the deeper I go, the more well done they are.)

Me: “Actually, these are burnt.”

(My wife digs into her pile to find the same is true.)

Me: “I don’t know? Is it worth sending them back? You know how much I hate making a scene or wasting food.”

Wife: “These are beyond ‘oops they are a little overdone.’ They are so hard they are actually painful to eat, and taste terrible. Let’s just ask the waitress what she can do about it. We don’t have to yell at her; just be polite and ask what she can do about it.”

(I waive over the waitress.)

Me: “These fries are really kinda burnt. Is there something you can do about it?”

Waitress: *grabs a fry off my plate and examines it* “I’m so sorry, these are inedible. I’ll get another batch for you right away, and I’ll cook them myself.” *as she’s walking away she mumbles to herself* “I thought I heard him say something about ‘not too overdone; oh, well.’ I should have known.”

(In record time the waitress has returned with lovely fries.)

Waitress: “Here you are. Again, sorry about that. We’re a little short today, and the cook is trying to handle too many things at once. But he should know better.”

Me: “No worries, I understand. Mistakes happen. Thank you for fixing the situation.”

Waitress: *goes into the back*

(We eat a while longer, and everything is pleasant until I get to the second half of my sandwich.)

Me: “What the hell? The second half of my sandwich is ham, wrapped in a single slice of pastrami so you can’t see it until you bite into it.”

Wife: “Seriously?”

Me: “Yeah, look…”

Wife: “It’s a good thing you aren’t Jewish, or, you know, allergic to pork like me.”

Me: “I can’t believe they would do that… It still tastes good, so I’m going to eat it anyway, but I think I should talk to the waitress about it.”

Wife: “You should.”

Me: “I think I’ll wait till after we’re done and have paid. I don’t want to give the impression that I am looking for free food.”

(We finish eating, ask the waitress for the check, pay, get the receipt back, and have signed it.)

Me: *to waitress as she is clearing the table* “Can I talk to you about something quickly?”

Waitress: “Yeah, what’s up?”

Me: “I just wanted to give you some words to take back to the cook. If you run out of pastrami, let the customer know, and ask them if they are cool with a ham substitution, or if they’d rather have something else. If you burn the fries, own it and make a new batch before you send them out to—”

Waitress: *cuts me off* “Did your sandwich have ham on it?”

Me: “Yes.”

Waitress: “Hang on one sec. I’m gonna grab the cook.”

(She calls over the cook who has recently re-entered the building.)

Owner/Cook: “Hey, I’m [Cook], the owner of [Cafe]. What can I do for you?”

Me: “Hi, [Cook]. I just wanted to give you a couple pieces of friendly advice. If you run out of pastrami, don’t sub ham without asking. It wasn’t a big deal for me, but my wife is allergic and it could have been a serious situation. If you burn fries, own it, and remake them before the customer sees it. If you get a reputation for trying to slip things in ‘unnoticed’ and only fixing them if someone complains, you will go out of business. In a cafe, your food needs to speak for itself, and if you have to redo things all the time because of simple mistakes like burning the fries, you won’t last long. I’m not after anything; I ran my own business for years, and I just want to see other small business owners do well for themselves. And this wasn’t exactly a gold star for you. However…” *points to waitress* “She was your saving grace. Whatever you are paying her, she deserves a raise because she was on point during our whole visit. If she hadn’t been so polite and helpful, I might have just left and let you stumble along.”

Owner/Cook: *shocked look on his face* “I… I… You’re right. I’m sorry. You nailed it on every point. I ran out of pastrami, and didn’t feel I had time, so I fudged it. I burnt the fries but thought I might be able to get away with it, cause they weren’t black. Thank you for calling me on the carpet. I really appreciate you taking the time to say something polite and that you showed an interest in my business, not just your own lunch. [Waitress], their meal is on me.”

Me: “As I said, I’m not after anything in this situation. We both ate our food, and have already paid.”

Owner: “No, not good enough! [Waitress], go reverse the charge on the card!”

(She walks away.)

Owner: “I already pay her more than any of my other staff because she is the best. But you’re right, she probably deserves more.”

Me: “Well, why don’t we forget the reversal of charges and you can give the whole cost of the meal to her as a tip directly?”

(Before he can answer, the waitress returns with a reversal slip.)

Owner: “Too late. It’s on the house!”

(We chat with him for another ten minutes and enjoy it. As we stand to leave I pull the cost of the meal in cash out of my wallet and leave it under my water glass. As I walk out past the waitress:)

Me: “I left a little something on the table for you.”

Waitress: “Thank you so much for talking to the owner. I’ve never seen him react like that with anyone before. He usually gets upset!”

Shai-Hulud posted:

Is that viper free milk though?

bobjr posted:

Can you be allergic to pork? I didn't know there were specific meat based allergies.

bobjr posted:

Can you be allergic to pork? I didn't know there were specific meat based allergies.

Kangarookie posted:

bobjr posted:

Can you be allergic to pork? I didn't know there were specific meat based allergies.

PittTheElder posted:

After googling it for a few seconds, apparently you can acquire it from a particular tick bite, which is pretty crazy.

bobjr posted:

Can you be allergic to pork? I didn't know there were specific meat based allergies.

Prism posted:

Sure can. It just isn't real common. Intolerance (in that it might give you some digestive troubles later on but isn't like anaphylaxis) is less rare, but still hardly common. I mean, the whole event is still stdh but you can have meat allergies.

In the case of pork allergy the real allergen is usually albumin IIRC. It's also in cat dander so maybe don't eat that either.

Edit: a specific albumin, I forgot there are a bunch

Prism posted:

I think that one is meat in general. Maybe not poultry or fish? Mammals, though. I'd check but I'm phone posting now.

Elysiume posted:

It's an allergy to non-primate mammal meat, so you basically just get to eat poultry/fish/seafood.