/r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

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hawowanlawow: Jul 27, 2009

all the game of thrones posts are great if you read them with a valley girl voice in your head

# ? Oct 25, 2016 22:10

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# ? Apr 28, 2024 22:55

BOOTY-ADE: Aug 30, 2006; BIG KOOL TELLIN' Y'ALL TO KEEP IT TIGHT

I got no issue with having favors repaid with sex, anyone who hasn't is the weirdo IMHO

# ? Oct 25, 2016 22:10

Captain Yossarian: Feb 24, 2011; All new" Rings of Fire"

rear end, gas or grass nobody rides for free

# ? Oct 25, 2016 22:12

loquacius: Oct 21, 2008

Sorry I used a psych term cavalierly I guess :shrug:

Content: I (25F) asked my husband (27M) for a divorce in March, he originally agreed. Now he refuses and is giving me an impossible ultimatum. I'm also a horrible person and started seeing someone (29M) a month ago.

quote:

Disclaimer: I'm on mobile so there may be typos and this is going to be long. Names have been changed because my husband uses reddit.

I had been with my husband, Matt, for four years. During those four years, he had multiple affairs and multiple hook ups. Some were with people we knew but more often than not they were Craigslist or hook up sites/phone apps. I stayed despite it all because I loved him. It slowly broke me down and eventually I felt worthless. I must be a horrible wife if he keeps sleeping with strangers, right?

My final straw was in February. I had planned a romantic birthday for him in which I presented him with a trip already paid for to our favorite location in our state. I even made a little itinerary and got us tickets for an overnight paranormal investigation. We would be gone Friday - Monday. He spent the entire weekend on his phone talking to other girls and trading pictures on an app. I had known about this app because I kept seeing charges in our bank account and he told me it was a game. When I checked it out for myself, I realized once again he was lying.

Two weeks later I told him I was done and he agreed it'd be better for me even though he "still loved me." I got divorce papers but he never signed them and part of me was afraid to be on my own so I waited for him. We still live together but in different rooms and we stopped cuddling, kissing and being intimate. We also stopped wearing our wedding rings.

Fast forward to August 19th. Matt sends chocolate covered strawberries to my office with a note he wants to talk. He had this huge apology and realized he "broke" me and realized he was losing a good thing and wanted us to work on things. I told him it was too late and we kind of ignored each other. We work opposite shifts so it was easy.

The beginning of September a guy I knew through work, Eric, mentioned that I hadn't been wearing my wedding ring. I told him that I was in the process of trying to get a divorce, but Matt hadn't signed the papers yet. Turns out that Eric has been divorced and offered to talk to me about it. We got coffee a couple of times after work. Then it turned to getting dinner. We've been casually seeing each other for about a month now and I know that makes me a horrible person. Once Eric and I started to see each other I told Matt I was tired of waiting, that I have started to see someone and he could either sign the papers or I'd have him served. Well, Matt said I'd have to have him served. During this time we also found out that Matt had an STD and had given it to me. (He'd been having symptoms since February and never told me. I had symptoms but thought they were UTIs, as I'm prone to them.) Matt went to the urgent care because he had blood in his urine. They did a culture and it came back with an STD and a bladder infection. He wasn't going to tell me because he knew I'd be livid.

Last night Matt didn't have to work. He sat me down and told me I either leave Eric and work on things with him or he would report Eric to his job that Eric was allowing a married woman to cheat on her husband. He will also tell my church, which would be a huge fiasco. On one hand, I don't want anything to happen to Eric as I do care about him. On the other hand I don't want to be trapped in my marriage. I know I should have waited to be divorced before getting involved with Eric.

So my question is, do I follow through with filing and continue my relationship with Eric or do I try to avoid a huge fallout and let Matt have one last chance? My heart isn't into it but I'm scared of what he'll do.

EDIT: I was asked to edit in that last year Matt was arrested for domestic violence. He had gotten home and was angry and blocked my car in the driveway with his car. I was able to get his keys and move his car and left in mine, but being blocked in anywhere is one of my triggers from abuse growing up and it resulted in a suicide attempt. The police were called by the suicide hotline who arrested him because he broke computer keyboard and a watch I had gotten him for our first anniversary in front of me on the grounds of intimidation. He had to take an anger management course and the charges were dismissed after.

TL;DR: Husband of four years cheated a lot and gave me an STD. We agreed to get a divorce but didn't actively work on it. Now I am seeing someone else and husband still won't sign so I'm having him served. Now husband is threatening to tell my church about my infidelity and report new guy to his job. Do I begrudgingly stay with my husband to save new guy or do I say screw it and file for divorce and continue with my life?

# ? Oct 25, 2016 22:14

Nissin Cup Nudist: Sep 3, 2011; Sleep with one eye open

We're off to Gritty Gritty land

Gaunab posted:

Something that's not about TV

"Him" is very ambiguous and I thought it referred to the non-sex haver at first

# ? Oct 25, 2016 22:14

the holy poopacy: May 16, 2009; hey! check this out; Fun Shoe

Chomp8645 posted:

Yeah, if it's an actual debt payment. Like if there is an official debt owed and it's like "I have no cash, I will pay with this sex" or "you owe me, I will take my payment in sex" then that is very weird and also bad.

But a person thinking "wow what a nice thing this person did for me. I like this person. I will initiate the sex on account of these good feelings" then I think that's ok.

Nah, still a little weird. I'm all for liberated views on sex but we're wired to see a lot of emotional and social significance in the act of sex and it's naive to think that no repercussions are going to come out of casual sex with a virgin of all people.

# ? Oct 25, 2016 22:15

the holy poopacy: May 16, 2009; hey! check this out; Fun Shoe

loquacius posted:

Sorry I used a psych term cavalierly I guess

Content: I (25F) asked my husband (27M) for a divorce in March, he originally agreed. Now he refuses and is giving me an impossible ultimatum. I'm also a horrible person and started seeing someone (29M) a month ago.

My husband cheated on me repeatedly, destroyed my things, threatened me, tried to hold me captive, and now is blackmailing me. Should I give him another chance?

# ? Oct 25, 2016 22:20

Dirtbag Diva: May 27, 2005

I'm just wondering what this "project" was that was so difficult that the equivalent repayment was sex with a virgin. Maybe I'm misreading it but it sounds like it was a school project and that must've been one hell of a diorama.

# ? Oct 25, 2016 22:20

loquacius: Oct 21, 2008

Straight White Shark posted:

My husband cheated on me repeatedly, destroyed my things, threatened me, tried to hold me captive, and now is blackmailing me. Should I give him another chance?

She's not even doing anything wrong seeing the other guy; much like Ross and Rachel were that one time, they were 'on a break'

Gotta wonder how much of her guilt over that came from her and how much came from him

# ? Oct 25, 2016 22:23

Dial-a-Dog: May 22, 2001

loquacius posted:

She's not even doing anything wrong seeing the other guy; much like Ross and Rachel were that one time, they were 'on a break'

Gotta wonder how much of her guilt over that came from her and how much came from him

She mentions him possibly causing "a huge fiasco" at her church, so I have a pretty good guess where a lot of her guilt is coming from

# ? Oct 25, 2016 23:09

bird with big dick: Oct 21, 2015

Mordja posted:

Wait, she spied on her own room for an entire month?

I have a webcam running 24-7 in my bedroom but it's because I like to watch videos of myself walking around in my underwear at 5 AM looking for my glasses.

# ? Oct 25, 2016 23:23

bird with big dick: Oct 21, 2015

loquacius posted:

She's not even doing anything wrong seeing the other guy; much like Ross and Rachel were that one time, they were 'on a break'

Gotta wonder how much of her guilt over that came from her and how much came from him

The guy is a pile of poo poo but if this woman is really concerned about appearances I think it's generally accepted that you separate before the divorce, not at some unknown point in the future after the divorce.

# ? Oct 25, 2016 23:36

Mordja: Apr 26, 2014; Hell Gem

Yeah, my parents were seperated for, I dunno, 5 years or something before they were legally divorced and my dad was living with his now-wife the entire time. Maybe that lady doesn't have family or something this can stay with.

# ? Oct 25, 2016 23:49

Gaunab: Feb 13, 2012; LUFTHANSA YOU FUCKING DICKWEASEL

quote:

My [26F] husband [26M] of 4 years is mad at me over how I reacted to our cats running away for a few days.

My husband brought 2 cats into our marriage. They're nice cats, and I do love them, but I'm not really an "animal person." I would be just as happy without pets. He loves pets. I admittedly find the cats a little annoying sometimes, especially when they cry because they want to come into the bedroom with us when we're having sex.

They escaped last week and didn't come back. My husband was very worried, even though I figured they would probably be fine. They're cats. All my cats growing up roamed free, and we're in a nice area. Nothing to worry about. I enjoyed having a "cat break" and a quiet house that didn't smell like litter. I liked not having to hear "MEOWWWW, MEOWWWWWWWW" while we're having fun.

He caught on to the fact that I was enjoying not having cats and has been upset with me since. When they did come back, together, he was overjoyed and I didn't seem enthusiastic enough. I don't doubt that I wasn't jumping up and down for joy like he was, but he has been sulking since then. I brought up that it was nice to have the cats out for awhile and reminded him that they probably had a great time, and asked if he was willing to put them outside for a few hours every day - he got upset again and told me he felt like I wanted something to happen to them, and that he felt like I didn't want them to come back. To be fair, I was hoping some nice elderly lady would take them in, but I didn't want them to get hit by a car or anything horrible like that.

Unfortunately, I was in a good mood while they were gone because I was really enjoying the vacation, and I'm sure he picked up on it. I don't think he's reaching too much.

Am I being heartless here?

tl;dr: Our cats ran away and my husband is upset that I was kinda glad they were gone.

# ? Oct 26, 2016 00:00

brotato: May 14, 2013

Cat chick is a bitch. Keep your cats safe indoors and also protect the local environment.

# ? Oct 26, 2016 00:26

Meme Poker Party: Sep 1, 2006; by Azathoth

brotato posted:

Cat chick is a bitch. Keep your cats safe indoors and also protect the local environment.

This in part why I don't feed the neighborhood cat very often when it comes begging. Fucker got fed a few times by the roommate and thinks it's entitled now.

It's the arrogance of it that annoys me more than anything. You feed a dog and he'll be your best friend. But the cat acts like you owe it the food. It will show up, beg pathetically, then leave the moment it's done eating like it collected on a debt. If you're gonna be like that then good luck hunting you little fucker!

# ? Oct 26, 2016 00:33

check out my Youtube: May 26, 2006; Satan's on my side
and you wanna brawl?
When the Devil comes
you better heed his Quall

Chomp8645 posted:

This in part why I don't feed the neighborhood cat very often when it comes begging. Fucker got fed a few times by the roommate and thinks it's entitled now.

It's the arrogance of it that annoys me more than anything. You feed a dog and he'll be your best friend. But the cat acts like you owe it the food. It will show up, beg pathetically, then leave the moment it's done eating like it collected on a debt. If you're gonna be like that then good luck hunting you little fucker!

Probably shouldn't take getting snubbed by a stray cat so personally

# ? Oct 26, 2016 00:40

JimsonTheBetrayer: Oct 13, 2010; Game's over, and fuck you Jimson. It's not my fault that you guys couldn't get your shit together by deadline. No one gets access to docs because I don't fucking care anymore, I hope you all enjoyed ruining my game, and there won't be another.

Gaunab posted:

Something that's not about TV

I find this completely fine and she did nothing wrong. A little weird and" free spirited" but if it helped the guy and he is now going on to be a succedful sex haver than more power to them.

# ? Oct 26, 2016 00:58

Smirking_Serpent: Aug 27, 2009

My [21m] girlfriend [20f] called out the name of (she claims) an Overwatch character during sex?

# ? Oct 26, 2016 01:55

McGavin: Sep 18, 2012

Smirking_Serpent posted:

My [21m] girlfriend [20f] called out the name of (she claims) an Overwatch character during sex?

I hope it was the gorilla.

# ? Oct 26, 2016 02:00

mind the walrus: Sep 22, 2006

Husband just realized that Cat Lady will let his pets die if he ever goes on vacation.

# ? Oct 26, 2016 02:00

Smirking_Serpent: Aug 27, 2009

McGavin posted:

I hope it was the gorilla.

Man, I wish. She said "Jesse" and the guy didn't know if that was legit (he had to look up it was the cowboy) or if she was using the lamest cover for cheating of all time.

# ? Oct 26, 2016 02:01

Jack Trades: Nov 30, 2010

Smirking_Serpent posted:

My [21m] girlfriend [20f] called out the name of (she claims) an Overwatch character during sex?

Was it "Junkrat"?

# ? Oct 26, 2016 02:06

Troposphere: Jul 11, 2005; psycho killer
qu'est-ce que c'est?

mccree? lame

# ? Oct 26, 2016 02:07

Jack Trades: Nov 30, 2010

Troposphere posted:

mccree? lame

I would.

# ? Oct 26, 2016 02:08

Thots and Prayers: Jul 13, 2006; A is the for the atrocious abominated acts that YOu committed. A is also for ass-i-nine, eight, seven, and six.

B, b, b - b is for your belligerent, bitchy, bottomless state of affairs, but why?

C is for the cantankerous condition of our character, you have no cut-out.; Grimey Drawer

Smirking_Serpent posted:

My [21m] girlfriend [20f] called out the name of (she claims) an Overwatch character during sex?

Ha ha ha ha ha ha

# ? Oct 26, 2016 02:09

AmiYumi: Oct 10, 2005; I FORGOT TO HAIL KING TORG

Gaunab posted:

Something that's not about TV

Really, no one caught how blatantly the second friend is only jealous because he didn't get any?

quote:

He said he was in a vulnerable state and I shouldn't have done it with him, that there are hundreds of others I could have had sex with. Things like that.

Did it need to have a "m'lady" for you goons to pick up onn the real situation here?

# ? Oct 26, 2016 02:15

Incoherence: May 22, 2004; POYO AND TEAR

Smirking_Serpent posted:

Man, I wish. She said "Jesse" and the guy didn't know if that was legit (he had to look up it was the cowboy) or if she was using the lamest cover for cheating of all time.

Who the hell calls McCree by his first name?

# ? Oct 26, 2016 02:18

kaschei: Oct 25, 2005

Incoherence posted:

Who the hell calls McCree by his first name?

The person writing self-insert overwatch sexual fanfics?

# ? Oct 26, 2016 02:40

sleppy: Dec 25, 2008

Girl calling out Overwatch names during sex is probly a :nws:

healslut, which is a bizarre subreddit of it's own. I'm sure a lot of it is exaggerated, but there are surely some supports out there only healing you with one hand.

# ? Oct 26, 2016 02:41

Troposphere: Jul 11, 2005; psycho killer
qu'est-ce que c'est?

you can always tell who they are because they use the arrow emote and sit under it

I've run into three so far :psyduck:

# ? Oct 26, 2016 02:42

Smirking_Serpent: Aug 27, 2009

Incoherence posted:

Who the hell calls McCree by his first name?

The redditors theorized it must be someone pretty deep into the fanfic/fanart rabbit hole, which I guess makes sense?

# ? Oct 26, 2016 02:50

Defiance: Jan 1, 2008; by Deplorable exmarx

sleppy posted:

Girl calling out Overwatch names during sex is probly a healslut, which is a bizarre subreddit of it's own. I'm sure a lot of it is exaggerated, but there are surely some supports out there only healing you with one hand.

That is the most hilarious and pathetic thing I've ever read. I mean.

�This is just something enjoyable for me that�s practical as well. I can�t expect to have any real life sexual interaction on a constant basis,� he says. �But with video games I know I can always log in, hit the play button, and prepare myself to become someone�s healslut for the next thirty minutes.�

# ? Oct 26, 2016 02:59

Dreddout: Oct 1, 2015; You must stay drunk on writing so reality cannot destroy you.

quote:

The beauty of healsluts is you can make anything�literally anything�part of the kink. A player who is an active member on r/healsluts tells me that outside of League and Overwatch, he also participates in the fetish with Town of Salem, Borderlands, and the incredibly chaste Civilization 5. �It varies from game to game but generally I make a set of rules that encourages submission for the submissive,� the player says. �For example, in a Civilization game you might limit their ability to build things like wonders and religion. In League and Overwatch it�s fairly easy to implement rewards for good plays and punishment for bad

Jfc, my sides!

On another note, as a guy who likes playing support/medic classes in mutliplayer games, it disturbs the hell out of me that the person I'm healing may be jacking off because of said healing.

# ? Oct 26, 2016 03:15

Jack Trades: Nov 30, 2010

Dreddout posted:

On another note, as a guy who likes playing support/medic classes in mutliplayer games, it disturbs the hell out of me that the person I'm healing may be jacking off because of said healing.

# ? Oct 26, 2016 03:29

Salty Josh: Jul 13, 2016; Sometimes there's so much beauty in the world, I feel like I can't take it, and my heart is just going to cave in.; Nap Ghost

HardDiskD posted:

My [25/F] fianc�'s [28/M] brother [25/M] drunk dialed me saying he's in love with me.

I think the best action here is to pretend this never happened.

I'm with you on that. Maybe the brother realized that all his relationships have been relatively meaningless and shallow. He longs for the love that his brother has with his fiance.

Dudes bottle alot of poo poo in.

# ? Oct 26, 2016 03:35

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

AmiYumi posted:

Really, no one caught how blatantly the second friend is only jealous because he didn't get any?

Did it need to have a "m'lady" for you goons to pick up onn the real situation here?

I noticed that right away.

# ? Oct 26, 2016 03:50

LGD: Sep 25, 2004

Dreddout posted:

Jfc, my sides!

On another note, as a guy who likes playing support/medic classes in mutliplayer games, it disturbs the hell out of me that the person I'm healing may be jacking off because of said healing.

I'm pretty sure you're the one who is supposed to be jacking off

Bonus LoL-related content
:nws:

# ? Oct 26, 2016 04:30

Nancy: Nov 23, 2005; Young Orc

Every time I think I'm some jaded internet veteran something always comes along that makes me giggle uncontrollably. Something about this fetish being so highly specific is really silly to me and the subreddit takes the cake.

# ? Oct 26, 2016 05:34

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# ? Apr 28, 2024 22:55

Jenner: Jun 5, 2011; Lowtax banned me because he thought I was trolling by acting really stupid. I wasn't acting.

quote:

Healsluts and such.

Sometimes I hate the Internet.

# ? Oct 26, 2016 05:40

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