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  • Locked thread
Fuubi
Jan 18, 2015

THUNDERDOME LOSER
Color me muffins and drink me some blue! I am in!

Adbot
ADBOT LOVES YOU

ZeBourgeoisie
Aug 8, 2013

THUNDERDOME
LOSER
Yeah sure in.

sparksbloom
Apr 30, 2006
In.

The Cut of Your Jib
Apr 24, 2007


you don't find a style

a style finds you



in

Hammer Bro.
Jul 7, 2007

THUNDERDOME LOSER


I totally forgot that was a thing. Oops/thanks.

Beige
Sep 13, 2004
In

ZeBourgeoisie
Aug 8, 2013

THUNDERDOME
LOSER
Hey guys, this week seems like a good one to share this little game I came up with. Feel free to use it for inspiration.

All right, I've been sharing a few of these in IRC, but you really need to try it for yourself to get the full experience.

Go to a Markov Chain generator site (I use this one)

Once you find a suitable site, copy in the text I affectionately call 'The Block'. For maximum fun, set the chain length to 1. You can use any text you want, but The Block is composed of the 'best' Classic stories TD has to offer, and it produces some awe-inspiring results. For instance:

quote:

I might have to the Dew. He’d have one finger; I had control, he'd expected the dreaded loss in control.

Violet was on the sea of beating her mother had to make it back room was wind.

It was angry with a decent rim and the testicles slowly drained from the district calls it, that your face, I yelled.

quote:

cannot leave, we took a stranger unless absolutely have found a twenty seven at once he went, passing branching halls and nostrils. Mort alone with white bodies, men, I can tell by herself,* as long before the slick with a job and Invader Zim paraphernalia stabbing him and we were very satisfied. The door and all of chewing gum--strawberry flavored--pressed against his voice rose. "And what better than to be able to officially inform you need to go over Rama, as they were almost caught the darkness.

flerp
Feb 25, 2014

ZeBourgeoisie posted:

Hey guys, this week seems like a good one to share this little game I came up with. Feel free to use it for inspiration.

All right, I've been sharing a few of these in IRC, but you really need to try it for yourself to get the full experience.

Go to a Markov Chain generator site (I use this one)

Once you find a suitable site, copy in the text I affectionately call 'The Block'. For maximum fun, set the chain length to 1. You can use any text you want, but The Block is composed of the 'best' Classic stories TD has to offer, and it produces some awe-inspiring results. For instance:

flash rule: someone in your story needs to learn when to keep their mouth shut

flerp
Feb 25, 2014

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=ql8K3KJyWgY


https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=2PzP7REU2o0

Fuubi posted:

Color me muffins and drink me some blue! I am in!

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=uvug9_xljlY

ZeBourgeoisie posted:

Yeah sure in.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=bhO4BdvHrjs


https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=J4rwPoRITlI


https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=EBhFHJMVfiI


https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=dWE0nlhpdq8

Hawklad
May 3, 2003


Who wants to live
forever?


DIVE!

College Slice
IN

vintagepurple
Jan 31, 2014

by Nyc_Tattoo
In

Thranguy
Apr 21, 2010


Deceitful and black-hearted, perhaps we are. But we would never go against the Code. Well, perhaps for good reasons. But mostly never.
In

Moxie
Aug 2, 2003

in

Crab Destroyer
Sep 3, 2011
In with a :toxx:

(USER WAS BANNED FOR THIS POST)

newtestleper
Oct 30, 2003
In

kurona_bright
Mar 21, 2013
in

Entenzahn
Nov 15, 2012

erm... quack-ward
In

flerp
Feb 25, 2014

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=bg6SCZjI48U


https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=hELte7HgL2Y


https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=Vgxs785sqjw


https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=3MdOqsYMFp4


https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=jbGI4PNIr0k


https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=pz3BQFXjEOI


https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=a91ptz1W7gg


https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=BYaFbFLAQlQ

Jay W. Friks
Oct 4, 2016


Got Out.
Grimey Drawer
In.

llamaguccii
Sep 2, 2016

THUNDERDOME LOSER
In. Congrats, Flerp. XD

Daeres
Sep 4, 2011
In.

Some Strange Flea
Apr 9, 2010

AAA
Pillbug
I was hesitant this week but those music choices are really getting me pumped the gently caress up.

Let's do this thing.

flerp
Feb 25, 2014

llamaguccii posted:

In. Congrats, Flerp. XD

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XbOqFrTrFR0


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WSmYollY_X8

Some Strange Flea posted:

I was hesitant this week but those music choices are really getting me pumped the gently caress up.

Let's do this thing.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J_moHXjH7pc

flerp
Feb 25, 2014

sry missed you

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aZuI3ZkCHfs

Beige
Sep 13, 2004
I'll say it right out: I don't understand surrealism in the same way I don't understand jazz music. I can recognise it when I read/hear it and even appreciate it but when it comes to picking up the pen/saxophone it's apparent that the methods of producing it are beyond me.

You know what I mean? Does anyone have some surreal short stories which would make good learning examples?

Tyrannosaurus
Apr 12, 2006
In.

flerp
Feb 25, 2014

Beige posted:

I'll say it right out: I don't understand surrealism in the same way I don't understand jazz music. I can recognise it when I read/hear it and even appreciate it but when it comes to picking up the pen/saxophone it's apparent that the methods of producing it are beyond me.

You know what I mean? Does anyone have some surreal short stories which would make good learning examples?

like i said, tate's a good starting point to see how he utilizes images and a weird, but present, logic (the pope poem if you're interested http://aspenanomie.tumblr.com/post/241861939). an example of a short story could also be A Very Old Man With Enormous Wings (http://www.jonescollegeprep.org/ourpages/auto/2014/1/29/42934518/A_Very_Old_Man_With_Enormous_Wings_pdf.pdf), which even though its usually classified as magical realism, i'd consider surrealism for the purposes of this prompt.

but basically what im looking for is startling image(s) and an odd, but consistent, logic that is also a relatively complete story (for 750 words) with characters/plot/all that noise.


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KnHGbWYzHz0

BeefSupreme
Sep 14, 2007

to ride eternal, shiny and chrome

THUNDERDOME LOSER 2022
In.

flerp
Feb 25, 2014

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U7Q7tyWQ45k

Armack
Jan 27, 2006
Week 220 (Voidmart) crits – Part 1

The big problem this week was that many of the writers sacrificed plot for whimsy. Most took the easy, obvious route of leading readers on a wacky, zany tour of Voidmart but that quirky humor often fell flat. There was a tremendous amount of worldbuilding, which is odd because the judges already know this world. We didn’t need the minutiae of the setting explained to us, we needed interesting plots and compelling characters. I get that most writers this week mimicked the tone that the prompt was written in, and that does make sense. But too many of these were a slog.

I read these and took my crit notes in judgemode, so please do not take anything here personally.

1. The Secret Edge

- Please don’t start your stories with “Hi, my name is [Character Name].” Surely you can do better than that.

- You begin the story with Jeff talking to us readers in the present tense and then suddenly you jump to the past tense. This shift feels really unnatural. The story goes from having a conversational tone to a more traditional style of narration without any transition or segue to help readers make sense of the change.

- The quirkiness does seem to fit with the Voidmart atmosphere.

- You do a pretty good job establishing a character voice. This is clearly a happy-go-lucky person with a limited attention span. He states the obvious often, and that is somewhat amusing.

- Haha, the humors does seem to work in some parts. For instance, it’s funny that Jeff is the customer service frontman chiefly because he isn’t horribly mutilated.

- Jeff’s initial lack of interest in Martha coupled with his being at times oblivious around people helps to make him amusing, but I’m not sure what Martha sees in him.

- I think I’m following correctly. Jeff realizes that Martha looks at him the way he looks at blades and this realization makes him appreciate her affection. Again, her affection isn’t explained and that is a problem since Jeff doesn’t seem like much of a catch.

- Well there isn’t much conflict here, but the story is still worthwhile. Your piece is amusing, quirkly, and lively.

2. Protocol Gamma

- If the game involves launching 4-block shapes, why do they call it “Voidball”? I’m not detecting anything here that would fit the term, “ball”.

- The story feels like it’s drawing too much from Tron.

- Some typos: “The suit continued to extend over my head, stopping only at my eyes, were a clear visor stretched out over my face,” and “I lost a couple of point at first…” Please put more time into proofreading.

- There are some cool parts, like the red, static-y threshold and the tunneling through the headphone jack.

- The pacing needs to be much tighter.

- The ending is somewhat frustrating. “I would complain, but really, what's changed?” This final line is problematic for a couple of reasons. If the narrator’s opinion were valid, and essentially nothing had changed, then what’s the point of the story? Change, some form of development, is critical to storytelling. And actually, there *is* substantial change in this story about which the narrator is inexplicably cavalier. Whereas before he was playing the game by choice, he is now doomed to be a Voidmart slave until such time as he loses (and apparently gets killed for it?). It’s unclear why the narrator seems so nonchalant about this.

- What’s your story’s message anyway? Don’t get good at something or you’ll become a slave to it? The outcome feels too unsatisfying.

3. A Completely Standard Furnace Repair Job

- “…a stank that was like the long forgotten fart of some blasphemous deity.” How could a deity be blasphemous? Would it be disparaging of itself?

- The way you introduced the Voidbugs suggested that they would be a potential threat, but then the narrator just shrugged them off, and they never bore upon the story again.

- “I realized that, despite having visited the furnace several dozen times, I'd never once seen those things.” The narrator is only just realizing this now?

- The ending is appropriate.

- I think the story is decent. You gave it a coherent plot and conflict.

- It’s nice that you took a department that in most stores is considered less-than-prestigious and managed to reframe it as badass, but I’m afraid your reframing is rather telly You’re insisting that the guy is badass, but you don’t go far enough to prove it.

4. Aisle L-8

- There is an issue with pacing. The first 40% or so of your story is exposition. Much of that exposition is entertaining, but overall the story still drags because it takes too long to get to the mysterious footsteps.

- The biggest problem here is that there is almost no conflict. Your story is an employee goes around doing her job, hears footsteps, and a group of other employees offers her a better job. What drives the reader’s interest is the brief mystery of who might be following the protag, but that on its own isn’t enough. The story is anti-climactic and underwhelming given the dearth of conflict.

- One positive here is that your prose is sufficiently lively.

5. Yeah, the Girls

- The humor involving the Finn cutout was amusing.

- It’s odd that a customer is looking to satisfy his sexual needs by shopping for cardboard cut outs.

- Uhh, there’s no way that a convention would make a featured participant like Lucy Lawless responsible for providing her own props.

- “I’m not expecting any more customers today, now that you’ve been here.” What does that mean? Does Lucy Lawless have some mystical business-killing stank about her?

- The various parts of your story don’t relate well to each other. You have an apparently sentient Lara Croft cut out, some random tower that Margaret is building, and Lucy Lawless fandom with little-to-no integration among them. The only thread that holds your story together is the rude deviant shopper man. But even he feels so random and bizarre.

- It’s not lost on me that in a story involving cardboard cut outs, the human characters are also two-dimensional.

- There’s not much here in terms of compelling drama or conflict. A guy is a rude deviant, that’s about it.

- I can’t get over the fact that the tower just doesn’t matter. It feels like a waste of the reader’s time that you wrote that in.

- This story is like fan fiction and a barrage of dialogue had a homely child.

6. Chariots of the Wage Slave

- Okay this was decent. You introduce some tension by mentioning zombies and foreshadowing that there is danger on the lower floors. Then you add an appropriate degree of conflict as the Geoff learns he’s got a dino-crate to deliver. Then the conflict rises to a climax due to a tantruming T-Rex and hovercraft mechanical failure. You did well with plot structure here.

- I think you could make the story more interesting if you were to give Geoff tough choices to make and the agency to make them. As it is, he’s just passively following the rules, presumably because he needs the money. He passively accepts working at a job that he hates (i.e., “the bottom of Geoff Thurman’s list”), he passively accepts dangerous cargo, he totes the company line to the point of saying “Well, no point standing around,” even when no one seems to hear him. While he does show some last minute initiative in hitting the emergency release, it was hard to find Geoff very interesting; he seems spiritless, bland.

7. Ethical Cannibalism

- This story was well written until the twist ending. I see where you were going with this (see my second note below), but sadly, the twist ends up detracting from the story. If Mark has no problem with killing humans for their meat, then why is it “his mission” to kill human butchers in the first place? Mark planning on killing and eating the kid muddies his motivations in a way that makes them less interesting, not more so.

- It occurs to me that this is a satire against animal rights activists who are not also vegan/vegetarian. You’ve got free-range humans, who, though raised in an idyllic-looking setting, are nonetheless slated to be butchered. This is similar to farm animals who, even when treated well during their lives, are still enslaved creatures doomed to be slaughtered because they taste good. However, the twist ruins your message. Your story is the equivalent of a radical animal rights activists murdering a farmer and then take the animals home to cook them. It doesn’t quite work.

- Other than the ending, the story is pretty good. The images are fairly vivid and most of the plot makes sense.

8. Mirakills, or: How I Met the Maker

- This story is ridiculous and quirky, but in a fun way rather than an annoying one.

- “singing like a ballerina.” Ballerinas aren’t known for their singing.

- Okay, the story works. You set up the ending well with the protag having previously scoffed at 3D printing. The plot is paced so as to hold readers’ interest. The protag is multi-faceted: devout, ambitious, and resourceful.

- My only gripe is a minor one, and that is that the story seems less-than-memorable for all its frivolity. It’s a high-end “no mention” for me because other stories were more impactful or emotionally resonant. Yours I will forget after this week.

9. It's Easier Without Customers

- Your story is a pleasant farce, with a classic farcical ending (by conniving to prevent X, the protags cause X or something just as bad).

- Sam is plenty distinct from Bernie and Larry, but it’s a shame that Bernie and Larry aren’t noticeably distinct from each other. Why even have two protagonists if they are so similar anyway? If your answer is “just so that they can dialogue with each other,” that isn’t good enough imo.

-The story is simple, entertaining, and executed capably. Not much to crit here.

10. Retail Therapy

- Haha, the critique of social psychology and I/O psychology at the beginning is great.

- The idea of a company deploying a truth wave against its employees and customers is interesting. One can see why a company would have an incentive to do something like this.

- The story goes off the rails after the truth wave hits. It descends into randomness and irrelevancy. Alexandra admits to having imprisoned or killed her dearest friend, but that revelation doesn’t seem to impact anything further on in the story. Alexandra being a witch seems oddly inconsequential, as does the cattle driver who reveals it. Then the story ends with Alexandra getting an animal friend, which ultimately didn’t seem that hard. The most interesting part of the story is the truth wave, but that also doesn’t seem to have much consequence. Couldn’t Alexandra have ended up with the Caco-scarab just as easily without it? I’m wondering if the purpose of the truth wave was to bring Alexandra catharsis following her admission that she wronged her previous dear friend. If that was your aim, I’m not seeing that catharsis given that the events that follow seem like they just as easily could have happened without that admission.

- You started off alright. Take the opportunity to read the crits and decide what works in your story, then give us more of that in future weeks.

11. Aisle Null

- Some typos, please devote more effort to proofreading.

- The technobabble makes for an amusing spoof of bad sci-fi.

- There is a problem with poor utilization of characters. Miles and Darla quickly become irrelevant. Dusty was never very relevant to begin with.

- I don’t know, the story just doesn’t amount to much. It’s mostly a running gag about being sexually aroused by a hermaphrodite. Jim the janitor gets sent to do his job, he does it, the end. The humor is tedious, I’m afraid. There also isn’t a whole lot here that would hook readers’ interest or compel investment in the story. The piece reaches for laughs but comes across as low impact in terms of humor and emotional depth.

12. Tracey and the Vintage Vegetable

- Typo in the first sentence. Doesn’t bode well.

- “night stockers, all clad in deep black cowls and thick sunglasses…” Okay, so at this point I’m wondering if these are vampires.

- First section, no complaints other than typos. Second section lost me because the story didn’t compel me to care about Tracey or whether she finds her robust vegetable.

- The joke about Tracey not knowing anyone who grows pickles falls flat.

- Kevin’s death is so odd. It’s random yet it feels shoehorned into the plot to try to give it some action.

- There are a few problems here. The biggest is the meandering bridge-to-nowhere that’s passing for a plot. So let’s recap: Tracey moved to a new place, got her tomatoes ruined, so now she’s wandering around looking for help in finding a robust plant. After meeting people who seem successively more helpful (including one that dies out-of-the-blue) Tracey finds a manager who can help. See the issue? There isn’t much to hook the reader when the story is someone wandering around or being led around looking for a loving vegetable. Whoever woke up one day and said “You know, I’d just love to read about a woman wandering around to find a decent plant.”

- The second biggest problem is Tracey herself. She is unlikable and uninteresting. She comes across like a ditzy oblivious fop. Give the reader someone to care about! Someone to root for!

13. The Finding of Happiness

- In the first paragraph of Part 2, you infodump about what Voidmart is. My issue with that is 1) I know what it is, I’m reading 33 stories about it and 2) even if you didn’t have the judges in mind when writing that, it’s kinder to your readers to show what Voidmart is in broad strokes over the course of the story rather than exposit on it at length.

- Your story fails in its economy of language. There is too much reiteration. We already KNOW Brian’s problem is with TV predictability, not a lack of content, yet you still chose to reiterate this in Part 2. Likewise we already KNOW that Voidmart is really big, but you beat that horse to death with a running joke about maps and long travel times and the O-quadrant. Relatedly, the pacing drags.

-Not much actually happens in this story.

- You did allude to Frank in Part 1 but Part 3 still feels like you’re introducing a new character right before the ending, which can be irritating for the reader.

- Your story’s premise is dull. It’s literally a guy looking for something in Voidmart. At the end he doesn’t even find it, just gets directions for it. Why should readers care? What’s worse is you spent 2000 words rolling out this overgrown shell of a story. Rage.

14. I really don’t care

- Nice title. I couldn’t have characterized my feelings about this week any better.

- “Twenty meats later,” haha it’s fitting that David would tell time by meats.

- The prose is livelier than in most stories this week.

- You have typos.

- Okay, finally a story that captures my interest. Once the CEO issues the veiled threat involving David’s daughter, it makes me want to pay closer attention.

- In a week filled with quirky frivolous drivel, it’s refreshing to read a piece with emotional resonance.

- Good job creating an ominous atmosphere, pacing your story such that the conflict builds right away, and giving the reader reasons to empathize with David.

- My only gripe is that the story is too vague about exactly what went wrong between Dave and his daughter. Is she dead? Did they get permanently separated in the aftermath of the divorce? Mara’s birthday was yesterday, and I’m assuming that’s not the birthday party that Dave references at the end of the story. It would be weird for Dave to acknowledge that he can still see her unless it’s been a long time since he actually has. The story leaves too many questions about what exactly happened and how long Dave has been dealing with his daughter’s absence.

15. Loyalty

- The beginning is a bit rambling, but you at least give the reader something to take interest in by introducing the mystery of how these aliens are fixing the bets.

- Another zany, quirky farce. Oh joy.

- Sure there’s plenty of action, but the action doesn’t amount to anything interesting. Half of your story is a wayward, overwrought chase scene. And why should we care? The only interesting part of the story is the mystery of how the aliens keep winning at sports betting. All the wackiness just drags on and puts distance between the reader and the mystery.

- Ahh, I was hoping for something a little more clever than the loyalty card manipulates probability. Kind of a lame solution to the mystery.

- And then the detective just gets co-opted by Voidmart. The stories this week feel more generic and mass-produced than a Voidmart Quinte¢ents Loyalty Card, yours included.

16. All Paths Lead to the End

- Normally it would be tricky to narrate a story entirely through log entries, but this week that tactic is welcome. It makes for a refreshing break in tone from the rest of the stories.

- Is it really wise for Ralph to be transmitting these log entries in real time while on the job?

- I’m surprised that Ralph can keep his transmission link connected at all while underground and/or surrounded by cement walls.

- So, is the lizard the source of the power, or does it just happen to live down there? It’s not clear how the lizard generates the power, if it indeed is the source. If it’s not, then it’s a let down that Ralph never got to the bottom of how the power is generated.

- This was low-middle of the road for me this week. The reader doesn’t have much reason to care about Ralph, so the story amounts to an exploration of some generic underground corridors all while trying to evade some monster. But it didn’t go the obvious route (the zany quirky megastore farce that most other people wrote), so that’s good.

- On a positive note, you occasionally do well in showing rather than telling. Take the last paragraph for example. Many writers would’ve just bluntly stated that Ralph was too exhausted to continue. Instead, you find ways to show it. So good job on that front.

- The survival horror aspects might’ve hit harder if the monster were shown earlier and was more clearly menacing earlier.

17. The Doppol

- It’s not clear why Voidmart doesn’t just use machine automation for the Doppol’s waste disposal.

- The mystique surrounding this creature and the tantalizingly limited details about it do make for convincing promotion material. Good job with detailing all that.

- “I didn’t bitch out though. There was a reason I always wore a YOLO T-shirt.” Meh. Kind of lame characterization. Also doesn’t mesh well enough with the earlier tone of the piece.

- The frontal lobe isn’t the memory center of the brain, if that’s what you were implying.

- What exactly would leaving a slash on the man’s belly have helped? Does it make the skin feel less “tight”? What are this creature’s limitations with respect to tightness of skin?

- Why can’t the Doppol stay in the new guys skin for very long?

- All this to get some diarrhea-inducing chocolate? If this was meant to be amusing, I’m afraid it falls flat.

- My main gripe is that your story is too vague. “Show, don’t tell” is an important rule, but stories like this demonstrate that you can go too far with it. The story left too many unresolved questions and suffered from a lack of clarity about the details of what’s going on, especially at the end.

sebmojo
Oct 23, 2010


Legit Cyberpunk









Beige posted:

I'll say it right out: I don't understand surrealism in the same way I don't understand jazz music. I can recognise it when I read/hear it and even appreciate it but when it comes to picking up the pen/saxophone it's apparent that the methods of producing it are beyond me.

You know what I mean? Does anyone have some surreal short stories which would make good learning examples?

ask questions like this in the fiction advice thread

newtestleper
Oct 30, 2003
My favourite writer is Donald Barthelme, who writes in a very surreal style. He's not a 'big S' Surrealist, but he does use many of their techniques, particularly a deadpan approach to the absurd. Here's one of his more famous stories.

Donald Barthelme - The Balloon

widespread
Aug 5, 2013

I believe I am now no longer in the presence of nice people.


IN for surrealism shenanigans.

flerp
Feb 25, 2014
the nice off: chili vs sebmojo

500 words on "im the nicest motherfucker around." must be a fable (aka animals and has a moral at the end).

winner gets to be courteous and let the other person judge

due tuesday 11/1 11:59pm PST

flerp fucked around with this message at 00:08 on Nov 1, 2016

sebmojo
Oct 23, 2010


Legit Cyberpunk









flerp posted:

the nice off: chili vs sebmojo

500 words on "im the nicest motherfucker around." must be a fable (aka animals and has a moral at the end).

winner gets to be courteous and let the other person judge

due friday 11/4 11:59pm PST

gently caress u chili i could nice you out any day of the goddam week you claim to be all 'ooh i'm so polite' but i saw you push in front of a lady at the bagel store once so ur going down

:toxx:

Baleful Osmium Sea
Nov 1, 2016
Enough lurking. Time to be writing. In.

Fleta Mcgurn
Oct 5, 2003

Porpoise noise continues.
IN IN IN although I know I'm gonna err on the side of being too self-consciously wacky. But whatever.

How many Surrealists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Fish

flerp
Feb 25, 2014

widespread posted:

IN for surrealism shenanigans.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1_mO0h1bwac

Baleful Osmium Sea posted:

Enough lurking. Time to be writing. In.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZUlAytznxn4

Fleta Mcgurn posted:

IN IN IN although I know I'm gonna err on the side of being too self-consciously wacky. But whatever.

How many Surrealists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Fish

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q09KoR7g018

Chili
Jan 23, 2004

college kids ain't shit


Fun Shoe

sebmojo posted:

gently caress u chili i could nice you out any day of the goddam week you claim to be all 'ooh i'm so polite' but i saw you push in front of a lady at the bagel store once so ur going down

:toxx:

:toxx:

It's an honor to be judged alongside you, Mr. Sebmojo.

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Fuschia tude
Dec 26, 2004

THUNDERDOME LOSER 2019

IN

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