MLB Offseason N/V- Rum, Sodomy, and Living in the Minor Leagues

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Thom P. Tiers: May 29, 2008; Red Birds
Red Ass
Red Text

Matt Carpenter seems to officially be moving to first base next season which means there isn't much room for Fat Adams on the roster.

# ? Nov 8, 2016 23:18

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# ? May 29, 2024 14:02

Pancakes: May 21, 2001; Crypto-Rump Roast

Thom P. Tiers posted:

Matt Carpenter seems to officially be moving to first base next season which means there isn't much room for Fat Adams on the roster.

Look for Matt Adams and Jaime Garcia'a corpse to be moved for a CF. Kevlar breathes a sigh of relief when we don't sign Dex.

# ? Nov 8, 2016 23:21

BigBallChunkyTime: Nov 25, 2011; Kyle Schwarber: World Series hero, Beefy Lad, better than you.; Illegal Hen

Popete posted:

Best shape of his life has already started. It's officially the off season.

Slimmed-down Panda: Red Sox say Pablo Sandoval has lost weight

So by that they mean he put down the cheeseburger he was eating before he stepped on the scale?

# ? Nov 8, 2016 23:47

Intruder: Mar 5, 2003; I got a taste for blown saves

The Astros didn't extend QOs to any of their free agents (Rasmus, Valbuena, Castro, Fister)

# ? Nov 8, 2016 23:52

Artix: Apr 26, 2010; He's finally back, to kick some tail! And this time, he's goin' to jail!

Orioles did to Trumbo and did not to Wieters (or anyone else). So get ready for the Caleb Joseph Catching Experience, the only player on the team to not get a single RBI the entire year.

# ? Nov 8, 2016 23:54

Hand Knit: Oct 24, 2005; Beer Loses more than a game Sunday ...
We lost our Captain, our Teammate, our Friend Kelly Calabro...
Rest in Peace my friend you will be greatly missed..

Julio Cruz posted:

Yes another corner outfielder is just what we need.

Jose Bautista is many things, but I am confident that a corner outfielder is no longer one of them.

# ? Nov 9, 2016 00:57

The Berzerker: Feb 24, 2006; treat me like a dog

Yeah if Bats goes to the NL there's no way they put him back in RF. Or if they do, it's their funeral

# ? Nov 9, 2016 00:58

Darude - Adam Sandstorm: Aug 16, 2012

The Berzerker posted:

Yeah if Bats goes to the NL there's no way they put him back in RF. Or if they do, it's their funeral

Where the gently caress else would he play?

# ? Nov 9, 2016 01:04

BigBallChunkyTime: Nov 25, 2011; Kyle Schwarber: World Series hero, Beefy Lad, better than you.; Illegal Hen

Darude - Adam Sandstorm posted:

Where the gently caress else would he play?

How hard is it to learn 1B?

# ? Nov 9, 2016 01:22

Ammat The Ankh: Sep 7, 2010; Now, attempt to defeat me!
And I shall become a living legend!

NBC has called the race for catcher, second, and shortstop Gold Gloves for the San Francisco Giants.

https://twitter.com/LOLKNBR/status/796158788461961216

# ? Nov 9, 2016 02:18

KIM JONG TRILL: Nov 29, 2006; GIN AND JUCHE

Moreland, Kins, and Beltre with gold gloves :3:

# ? Nov 9, 2016 02:25

Gonz: Dec 22, 2009; "Jesus, did I say that? Or just think it? Was I talking? Did they hear me?"

https://twitter.com/tigers/status/796160084690739200

# ? Nov 9, 2016 02:28

KICK BAMA KICK: Mar 2, 2009

Inciarte got his.

# ? Nov 9, 2016 02:44

Rand alPaul: Feb 3, 2010; by Nyc_Tattoo

Wait Buster Posey has never won a Gold Glove before? Holy gently caress :lol:

# ? Nov 9, 2016 03:09

Pancakes: May 21, 2001; Crypto-Rump Roast

Rand alPaul posted:

Wait Buster Posey has never won a Gold Glove before? Holy gently caress

This is the first year since 2007 that Yadi hasn't won the Gold Glove.

# ? Nov 9, 2016 03:09

The Berzerker: Feb 24, 2006; treat me like a dog

Kevin Pillar shoulda won because I am a homer.

# ? Nov 9, 2016 03:21

Kevlar v2.0: Dec 25, 2003; =^�⩊�^=

Kevlar v2.0 posted:

I'm at the point now where I'd take 4 years of Trump for a Cubs World Series victory

Whoops. My bad.

# ? Nov 9, 2016 05:12

TMMadman: Sep 9, 2003; by Fluffdaddy

Kevlar v2.0 posted:

Whoops. My bad.

Thanks Kevlar! :v:

# ? Nov 9, 2016 05:12

Pancakes: May 21, 2001; Crypto-Rump Roast

Kevlar v2.0 posted:

Whoops. My bad.

I said it live and I'll post it here: If Clinton can pull this out I'll root enthusiastically for the Cubs next year. Maybe my attempt at a Faustian bargain can counteract yours.

# ? Nov 9, 2016 05:42

Poque: Sep 11, 2003; =^-^=

there is no stopping the Ricketts Machine. embrace the darkness. hail satan

# ? Nov 9, 2016 05:48

TheChaosPath: Jul 22, 2005

Thanks Cubama

# ? Nov 9, 2016 05:58

New Concept Hole: Oct 10, 2012; 東方動的

Kevlar v2.0 posted:

Whoops. My bad.

You just had to Make Chicago Great Again

# ? Nov 9, 2016 06:09

Spoeank: Jul 16, 2003; That's a nice set of 11 dynasty points there, it would be a shame if 3 rings were to happen with it

A random Cubs fan after they were down 3-1

"I literally don't care what happens for the rest of my life if they pull this off."

*somewhere, a single finger on a monkey paw curls*

# ? Nov 9, 2016 06:25

MichiganCubbie: Dec 11, 2008; I love that I have an erection...

...that doesn't involve homeless people.

Bowie went home. Prince acsended. The Cubs won.

This is just the final step happening before the meteor hits.

At least we got to see a win before the end.

# ? Nov 9, 2016 06:35

Sydin: Oct 29, 2011; Another spring commute

https://twitter.com/NateSilver538/status/730251094614528000

# ? Nov 9, 2016 06:41

Kevlar v2.0: Dec 25, 2003; =^�⩊�^=

This election needs a 17-minute rain delay

# ? Nov 9, 2016 07:29

Canned Sunshine: Nov 20, 2005; CAUTION: POST QUALITY UNDER CONSTRUCTION

I am beyond depressed.

# ? Nov 9, 2016 07:30

Tiny Brontosaurus: Aug 1, 2013; by Lowtax

Kevlar v2.0 posted:

This election needs a 17-minute rain delay

I gave a rousing speech to my election night party on this very subject. It didn't help.

# ? Nov 9, 2016 07:33

Bip Roberts: Mar 29, 2005

Goddamn I hate the loving cubs.

# ? Nov 9, 2016 07:42

Popete: Oct 6, 2009; This will make sure you don't suggest to the KDz
That he should grow greens instead of crushing on MCs; Grimey Drawer

This loving blows.

Something something baseball...

# ? Nov 9, 2016 07:44

NiceGuy: Dec 13, 2006; This is my BOOMSTICK; College Slice

Spoeank posted:

A random Cubs fan after they were down 3-1

"I literally don't care what happens for the rest of my life if they pull this off."

*somewhere, a single finger on a monkey paw curls*

If nothing else you got my mother, who worked on the Clinton campaign and is beyond distraught, to crack a smile in between tears. So thanks for that :unsmith:

# ? Nov 9, 2016 07:44

Intruder: Mar 5, 2003; I got a taste for blown saves

Realtalk I would have accepted this for an Astros championship

# ? Nov 9, 2016 08:26

Atomizer: Jun 24, 2007

Edit: I forgot I wanted to post this article about championship rings because we talked about it earlier: http://www.cbssports.com/mlb/news/here-are-the-guys-you-probably-didnt-realize-will-get-cubs-world-series-rings/

They cover the usual guys, Warren, Richard, Nathan. I had forgotten about Ramirez & Peralta, and didn't really consider Matusz to be in contention, but then again he did provide one of the most notorious games of the 2016 season. I can imagine the duality of that experience: feeling the euphoria of receiving a Cubs WS ring but then realizing it's a permanent reminder of your one horrendous performance. :smith:

Bob Saget IRL posted:

Back and to the left. Back and to the left. Back and to the left. Back and to the left. Back and to the left. Back and to the left. Back and to the left. Back and to the left.

Obligatory https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1wi-lW2poE4

Also, this autoplayed after that last video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ET0UBXOcFYo

Ah, former Bill Cosby love. :allears:

Kevlar v2.0 posted:

Whoops. My bad.

Eh, 1 for 2 isn't that bad I guess. :shrug:

Now we can all say we got to see the Cubs win the World Series in our lifetimes (shortly before we all die.)

Atomizer fucked around with this message at 09:44 on Nov 9, 2016

# ? Nov 9, 2016 09:13

Jen X: Sep 29, 2014; To bring light to the darkness, whether that darkness be ignorance, injustice, apathy, or stagnation.

Intruder posted:

Realtalk I would have accepted this for an Astros championship

I'm still conflicted on whether or not it was worth it

Jen X fucked around with this message at 13:03 on Nov 9, 2016

# ? Nov 9, 2016 12:03

esto es malo: Aug 3, 2006; Don't want to end up a cartoon

In a cartoon graveyard

Definitely not worth it, I'd take 108 more years in exchange for an America that isn't reaffirming it's white supremacist roots.

# ? Nov 9, 2016 14:42

Pancakes: May 21, 2001; Crypto-Rump Roast

Tiny Brontosaurus posted:

I gave a rousing speech to my election night party on this very subject. It didn't help.

Being a teetotal and obsessive worrier I drove everyone home from my election party. On the drive home, for the first time in my life, I kind of wished I could drink so that I could numb the overwhelming depression. This is so much worse than 2000 or 2004 was. And there's not even any baseball with which to distract myself. God dammit.

# ? Nov 9, 2016 14:53

Dexo: Aug 15, 2009; A city that was to live by night after the wilderness had passed. A city that was to forge out of steel and blood-red neon its own peculiar wilderness.