/r/relationships: Memento Mori Lasagna

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Jack Trades: Nov 30, 2010

Only by avoiding kissing altogether can you prevent someone from snowballing you.

# ? Nov 9, 2016 20:46

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# ? Apr 29, 2024 04:27

im cute: Sep 21, 2009

china bot posted:

I [16F] had sex with my boyfriend [16M] for the first time. He kissed me alot during and my friends [16F] think it's gross/unhygienic because their boyfriends don't kiss them during sex

The one place you wanna get your lovemaking advice from, definitely other 16yo dumbshits and their doubledown dumbshit boyfriends.

ikanreed posted:

So I'm not weirded out by the strange peer pressure. High school students are dumb.

But what's with the other guys not kissing? Is that even remotely normal?

I'm guessing it's a porn thing (they don't kiss much during or after), or an icky dick germs cooties thing (although loving your gf's face is all well and good).

corn on the cop posted:

well, this was a massive swerve from the thread title

ride it out, my man.

I been in this dude's shoes. Really, just ride it out. Don't let the doubt eat you.

# ? Nov 9, 2016 20:56

Bonzo: Mar 11, 2004; Just like Mama used to make it!

ikanreed posted:

So I'm not weirded out by the strange peer pressure. High school students are dumb.

But what's with the other guys not kissing? Is that even remotely normal?

Yeah this is what you get when you have kids learn about sex from BangBros

# ? Nov 9, 2016 21:11

Gumbel2Gumbel: Apr 28, 2010

corn on the cop posted:

as a former uggo dude who managed to blossom im still shocked whenever attractive women think im worth their time

Fuckin' high five right here my man, same poo poo.

# ? Nov 9, 2016 21:13

Chichevache: Feb 17, 2010; One of the funniest posters in GIP.

Just not intentionally.

Bonzo posted:

Yeah this is what you get when you have kids learn about sex from BangBros

Thanks to daredorm higher education will be flooded with new applicants.

# ? Nov 9, 2016 21:16

Gaunab: Feb 13, 2012; LUFTHANSA YOU FUCKING DICKWEASEL

ikanreed posted:

So I'm not weirded out by the strange peer pressure. High school students are dumb.

But what's with the other guys not kissing? Is that even remotely normal?

They think it's gay; since the girl's mouth has been on their penis, if they kiss her it's like they sucked(their own) dick. Stupid but teenagers are dumb.

# ? Nov 9, 2016 21:37

monkeytennis: Apr 26, 2007; Toilet Rascal

Fair enough on the no kissing bit if she's still got a mouthful of manfat but otherwise lol.

# ? Nov 9, 2016 21:46

ikanreed: Sep 25, 2009; I honestly I have no idea who cannibal[SIC] is and I do not know why I should know.

syq dude, just syq!

Then again, I'm too much of a goon to know anything about sex at age 16

# ? Nov 9, 2016 22:19

Zulily Zoetrope: Jun 1, 2011; Muldoon

corn on the cop posted:

as a former uggo dude who managed to blossom im still shocked whenever attractive women think im worth their time

I was about to post something about how leagues are bullshit and I don't get why people consider them to be a thing, but then I read and identified with this post. I guess I'm one of those people too.

# ? Nov 9, 2016 23:12

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

corn on the cop posted:

well, this was a massive swerve from the thread title

ride it out, my man.

Wow it's almost like she loves you as a person even though she's got nice titties???? god women. weird.

# ? Nov 9, 2016 23:24

Devian666: Aug 20, 2008; Take some advice Chris.; Fun Shoe

Pick posted:

Wow it's almost like she loves you as a person even though she's got nice titties???? god women. weird.

Very much this. It's as if these women really like you.

# ? Nov 9, 2016 23:36

Pvt.Scott: Feb 16, 2007; What God wants, God gets, God help us all

Your boyfriend kisses you during sex? GRODY TO THE MAX!

# ? Nov 10, 2016 00:26

loquacius: Oct 21, 2008

Pick posted:

Wow it's almost like she loves you as a person even though she's got nice titties???? god women. weird.

Leave him alone, he's another victim of low self-esteem and I'm just thrilled for him he got out the other end of it :unsmith:

# ? Nov 10, 2016 00:55

Pick: Jul 19, 2009; Nap Ghost

loquacius posted:

Leave him alone, he's another victim of low self-esteem and I'm just thrilled for him he got out the other end of it

Same, I just don't get why he is posting about it on the Internet like it's so weird. I mean, what kind of advice could you possibly need? The answer is, cherish her. That's it, that's all

# ? Nov 10, 2016 01:05

Ratjaculation: Aug 3, 2007

Also do the weird stuff in bed that women like. Like kissing.

# ? Nov 10, 2016 02:13

im cute: Sep 21, 2009

Ratjaculation posted:

Also do the weird stuff in bed that women like. Like kissing.

gross dude, what the gently caress?

# ? Nov 10, 2016 02:19

im cute: Sep 21, 2009

Alright, who wants some lighthearted, fun fare?

Stockholm Syndrome-like relationship with [52]m and [26]f

quote:

Hi Reddit - Longtime lurker, created a name solely to ask for your advice.

This will probably be a novel, and I'm sorry. This has been going on for the past 6 years, and I haven't been able to speak to anyone about it. My boyfriend [53] and I [26] are both chronically ill. The age gap doesn't bother me whatsoever, and is preferable, as he is more understanding of the fact that I cannot do things that people my age normally do, as I'm just too sick and haven't the energy.

I cannot work. I cannot do something as simple as spend a day at the mall, nor can I just traipse off to the movies. As you can see, this greatly limits my ability to socialize, which is an important piece of information. Most of my friends from the past won't speak to me anymore, understandably, as the updates of 'Hey, how are you?' 'Still sick' got a bit old.

I am American. He is Canadian. We have been dating for 7 years long-distance, and I'm finally within the point in my life where I can come up to Canada to stay with him. I've been here for 6 months, and have applied for an extension to remain in Canada. Because of this, I am legally not allowed to work, to go to school in Canada, and several other restrictions.

Here's what's difficult:

My boyfriend, through his illness, has developed severe OCD and paranoia. I'm familiar with these traits from my past experience with him, but it's gotten exceptionally worse. Our house is trashed; there is trash sitting on the floor from a year ago because he's too afraid to pick it up (he worries excessively that it's contaminated). He has allergies that cause him to itch and burn, as if his skin is on fire, so he determines certain 'contaminations' and becomes deathly afraid to touch certain objects. I'm talking severe panic attacks - sweating, shaking, vomiting, etc. If I could post a picture of our house, I would, but he won't allow me to touch the camera in case that's contaminated, as well. I've suggested gloves, even protective clothing, but it's not enough - as if the contamination will seep right through.

It is quite trying, as every other sentence is 'Did you just touch that?' 'That' could be anything - a table, an errant piece of paper, the countertop, a chair. The floor is the worst ... God forbid the floor gets touched. I have to wear certain pants bunched up several inches from the floor, or else he goes on a cleaning frenzy that lasts for hours with chemicals so strong that the skin on his hands peel. There is dust an inch thick on just about everything. Receipts and trash lying everywhere. Stains from 9 months ago that would have been easy to clean in the moment, but now need a paint-chipper to get off. Here's another example: I bought a $2,000 computer for school (I needed power for design and video work). Within weeks, I wasn't allowed to touch it anymore for fear that it's contaminated. He tried to clean it, but he ended up breaking it as the chemicals he used completely fried the hard-drive. Now it's sitting on a table next to a chair. That ENTIRE AREA cannot be touched - this is like a 6 x 6 ft area that is not allowed to be approached - not the table, not the chair, not the computer nor the battery, not even the t-shirt hanging over the back of the chair. This has been like this for the last year. I am constantly washing/reassuring him/swearing that I haven't touched anything. I can't even do the dishes. The ONLY things I'm allowed to touch in the entire house are certain clothes that he has designated are clean, the toilet, the shower, the bed, an e-reader, my chair, and my computer (he purchased one directly after he broke my aforementioned laptop). I can't clean. I can't dust. I can't even do the dishes. He won't, either, so we're sitting in a veritable mold trap. The landlord, understandably, is pissed because there is trash lying around outside the house (I can only imagine how he'd feel if he looked inside! We'd be evicted immediately). The mail has been in its box for a year (he won't touch mail at all, in case someone contaminated it on purpose).

... which brings me to the next issue: the paranoia. He is CONVINCED that the government is after him. There are some things we can only speak in whispers in case someone is spying on him from the computer. We're not even allowed to talk in the car, in case it's being monitored. An example would be if we were in the main room and I mentioned picking up celery at the grocery store in a normal voice. Now, we cannot buy celery because he's afraid that someone will have contaminated it.

What's even crazier, these paranoia's are rubbing off on ME now - constant washing, mistrust, questioning, etc.

In the past (about 8 years ago), he had given an opinion on a VERY public forum that angered a great deal of people. Somehow, they found his address, and for months thereafter, his mail would be torn to shreds. Cryptic messages would be scrawled across them. Someone hacked into both his e-mail and his websites, where they left threatening words. He has a daughter, and feared that they would harass her, as well, but they left her alone and only targeted him and his wife at the time. Even though it only occurred for about 9 months, it's left a lasting impression that I believe led to all of the above issues.

He VEHEMENTLY REFUSES both medication and counseling, even though I have PLEADED him to access these routes. Even when he was pulled into the hospital twice for suicide threats by the police, I begged the doctors to put him on something, but he has a voice and a smile that can charm the birds from trees, so they believed him when he said that everything was fine and normal.

Before I moved here, I was a professional dog trainer. I've worked for years in behavior modification and animal nutrition, and it is my life's passion.

I haven't touched a dog since I've been up here. I touched a pet rabbit once, and he screamed so viciously that I have been too afraid to touch anything with fur (he thinks animals are contaminated). His last partner cheated on him with a multitude of men, so now he holds the same fears for me. I used to have a small social circle, but he became quite controlling of who I could speak to, so I've cut everything off (I tried to re-kindle a few friendships - they don't want anything to do with me anymore, which I understand). I used to have to keep my phone on 24/7 for years when I was in the States so that he could hear every word from conversations I would have with others. If the phone cut off due to low battery, or if it disconnected from poor service, he would scream at me for hours, calling me a slut, a whore, a cheater, etc, as he thought I was having relations with guys. This phone issue racked up serious bills (up to $800 a month), but I felt forced to continue due to his insecurities. He thought I was having sex with my roommate (my roommate at the time was 78) and my business partner. I even had to close my dog training business because he thought I was using my business as an excuse to meet men. I have NEVER, EVER cheated, and would NEVER consider it. It's an act that I abhor, yet no matter how much I try to get this across, he rips up the same old wounds that I am a harlot looking to get laid. The irony of this is that I have vaginitis - having sex feels like razor blades and sandpaper are tearing my insides - he and I rarely, if ever have intercourse, and it's only when I can grip the bed and bite a sock with tears streaming down my face with me begging him to hurry that we can do it!

I'm not even allowed to talk to the landlord. Whenever he see's the landlord approaching, he'll forcefully push or shove me out of his line of sight and tell me to stay hidden until he leaves.

I am not, under ANY circumstances, EVER allowed to leave the house without him - even just to pick up something from the store 4 miles away.

Since I've been up here for the last half-year, a lot has been revealed. I didn't realize how difficult it would be before, but I am terribly lonely. I have, quite literally, no friends to talk to (I'm not even allowed to try to make friends up here, as he feels that having friends are a bad influence and that I'm only trying to feed my ego and please people by having any friends). I'm not even discussing, 'Oh, I have 150 on my Facebook', I'm talking NO friends. NO outside contacts. Everyone that we meet, he has a problem with. I can't get a pet because of his contamination issues, so most of the day is spent browsing reddit. We don't really go out, and it's such a small town, there's no where to really go, anyway. I can't volunteer, as he feels I'm going to use it as a way to meet people. When I asked if I could volunteer my dog training services to people in need (and because I really loving miss it), he had a tantrum that shut me up for good.

My chronic illness has become much worse up here. I can't tell if it's because of the situation, or if it's just deepened in general. I just don't see a way out of this problem. I've become highly dependent on him - financially and emotionally. Since I can't work due to the worsened illness, I don't know where I would go or what I would do if I DID leave. I'm thousands in debt. I've tried disability, but it's such a harrowing process, and they don't deem my illness 'bad enough' yet. Because I've spent 6 years following everything he's ordered - from cutting off all friends, who I'm allowed to speak to, closing businesses, quitting jobs, purchasing what he's required me to, what I'm allowed to read or watch, even changing my major, it's become a bit of a Stockholm Syndrome issue. I'm exceptionally reliant on him, and in the times when I did try leaving for a few weeks here and there (on several occasions), I would have severe panic attacks, nightmares, and feelings of being trapped without him, so I always went back. Instead of feeling freedom, I felt caged, alone, insecure, and as if I couldn't trust anyone.

I can see that I am painting him as a terrible person. He pays for everything - the house rent, the food, my medical care, etc. He has spent thousands on clothes for me (I'm not used to Canadian winters) and has repaired my car on the several occasions it's broken down. At my sickest, he brings me home-cooked meals, laughs and jokes with me, caresses my aching body, brushes my hair, etc. He has never physically hit me (that would be a final straw - I watched my mother get beaten), is always telling me how much I mean to him, and he claims he cannot live without me (he has a Will ready to go if I leave, which feels manipulative, but he says I help him deal with his illness much easier, and with the severity of his suffering, I can see that he'd see it as losing one more thing and choose to end his life).

A typical day is me getting up before him, browsing reddit for hours until he wakes up, each of us puttering on websites that don't matter, me pacing the hallway, getting food from the grocery store, preparing dinner at home, and me going to sleep while he stays up 'til 3. The next day repeats. I've begged him to change our habits for the last year, but he is unwilling due to his fears. I even asked if we could make some compromises so that we can both do what we want, but he creates such a fuss over it that I drop it.

I've become highly suicidal and resentful. I feel trapped if I stay and trapped if I go. I have tried antidepressants (several brands) to see if it was just MY issue, but they have only increased my anxiety. Several family members and friends over the years have tried to alarm me over our relationship, but (surprise!) I was required to immediately discontinue speaking with them. A month ago, when I had tried to leave again, (he was screaming so loudly the neighbors phoned the police and they took him away), I got as far as 20 miles before I pulled out a knife and tried to end my life, I was panicking so badly. Of course, I slunk back to him, with his promises that everything was going to be all right, but it only seems to have gotten worse.

Every night I've been dreaming of suicide to escape this bleakness. I even had a breakdown so violent that I begged him for a hospital visit, but he doesn't trust doctors, so I sat in the shower for hours waiting for it to pass.

TL;DR: My paranoid, chronically ill boyfriend is excessively controlling, but I don't feel healthy enough emotionally nor physically to live a life without him.

Reddit, what in the gently caress do I do?

quote:

Update: Thank you very, very much to everyone who has posted opinions, advice, and encouragement. I truly appreciate it. I'm really sorry to take so long to answer. He got up after I wrote this and all day yesterday he has been reading over my shoulder the things I write on the computer, so, obviously, to have this in sight would have created an enormous issue.

The first comment I read was from 'JustSomeBadAdvice', which immediately inspired me to discuss with my boyfriend the choice of leaving him. He drank 13 (not kidding) shots of vodka, threw up several times, then passed out. I packed what I could, but there is a lot of things that I need that I don't have access to. This apartment is TINY - from every room you can see where someone is situated, so I can't just walk into the rooms (which have been sectioned off as contaminated) and grab my things.

I fear, though, that I am losing my resolve. Realistically, I am ill, and cannot care for myself. Where would I go? How would I support myself if I leave, etc?

I will respond to each of your comments sometime within the next 24 hours - again, thank you to all of you. I really appreciate it.

# ? Nov 10, 2016 02:57

Smirking_Serpent: Aug 27, 2009

I... I don't know what to say.

# ? Nov 10, 2016 03:22

MrKatharsis: Nov 29, 2003; feel the bern

That is loving terrifying.

# ? Nov 10, 2016 03:27

im cute: Sep 21, 2009

aww poo poo, I meant to post this:

30/m with 29/f for 1 month - Her dog is licking me during sex

quote:

GF is very attached to her dog. He's been with her for 4 years, gets "human food" treats often, and sleeps on her bed. I like dogs and normally would think that's cute, however we had sex for the first time the other night, and it was really awkward because she seems a bit too attached to the dog and doesn't seem to be aware that she needs to set some boundaries.

The situation:

She had already invited me to spend the night, so I knew things were going to happen. We go upstairs to go to bed, and she lets the dog come up as usual, but he is obviously agitated and concerned that I'm getting into bed with her. He starts kinda playful nipping at me until she calms him down. Then he's basically in between us at the foot of the bed, so when things started happening between us, the dog was in the way and really awkward to maneuver around. I try to give her time to figure this out and do something with him, but she is still just petting him and telling him he's a good boy. From my silence, she can tell I'm thinking something needs to be done, but she says, "if I crate him, he'll just cry and think he did something wrong" so she basically just lets him continue to be on the bed, in between us.

Finally we start going at it, and homeboy is licking my butt while I try to do my thing. Now, in a weird way that wasn't so bad, but I'd prefer only humans to lick me during sex. I reach around to push him away and he settles on just licking my feet, which at that point I was just resigned to it.

I'm not sure how to bring this up tactfully and also not make it a "me or the dog" situation, because I think I'm low man on the totem pole right now compared to how she feels about her dog. At the same time, the dog is a distraction and interferes with being affectionate with her. In the morning, I couldn't even cuddle with her because the dog woke us up and went up to cuddle with her, which she encouraged.

A little context: She is very inexperienced sexually and I believe she hasn't had a relationship in a long time, so I don't think she's ever had to deal with this situation before. So it's like she tried to incorporate me into her normal routine with the dog, but it ain't gonna work and I'm not sure how to break it to her without making her feel bad about needing to create some boundaries with her dog that she hasn't ever had before.

tl;dr: GF's dog licks me and gets agitated when I sleep with GF, but GF is too attached to dog to create some boundaries. How should I bring this up to her without making her feel bad about pushing her dog away?

# ? Nov 10, 2016 03:59

Gaunab: Feb 13, 2012; LUFTHANSA YOU FUCKING DICKWEASEL

quote:

My [25/f] boyfriend [23/m] of 1 year has been having a threesome with his coworkers [23/m & 24/f].

Hi reddit,

I am extremely heart broken and am in need of advice and even comfort. I don't want to use real names so I will be putting in different names. Thank you for understanding.. Let me share with you all on what happened.

I [25/f] have been dating my boyfriend [23/m] - we will call him Jim, for a year now. It was long distance at first, but I moved to his home state in August so that we can be together physically. Everything was perfect. Jim and I were extremely happy with each other, always communicated, and we were just a happy couple.

He works at a cafe and there he befriended one of his coworkers [23/m - we will call him Derek]. Derek has been inviting Jim to get a few drinks after work, and the two became good buds. I've met him before and he was really nice. Jim thought he was a cool guy too. Then in mid-October Derek would invite my boyfriend over to his place. They'll just hang, order pizza, and drink some beers apparently (Jim would text me that he would hang out with Derek after work then come home. I never required him to text me where he was, but Jim was always sweet to text me messages throughout the day. I did the same for him too.). Throughout the entire night, Jim would tell me how he met Derek's girlfriend [24/f we will call her Karen] and that they were very nice people. I texted him back that it was awesome and sweet how the two invited him and shared a good time with him. I thought that was just that.

So Karen and I have never seen each other. All I knew about her was that she was Derek's girlfriend, she was nice, and also I learned that she and Derek moved in together like early October. I thought that was pretty cute. That's all I knew about her. My boyfriend started to hang out at their place more often, and I would only think of it as something as coworkers/friends just hanging out after work. I do admit that I felt left out and even asked Jim if I could hang out with them. He would say it would be a hassle since then he would have to come get me from my work or at home then go to Derek's place and also that they only hang out for a short while. I just would say "Alright" and be done with it.

I had a day off work and texted my boyfriend that I will come over to his work place to have lunch together. He told me that would be awesome so I went. It was pretty busy in there, but not super busy where the workers wouldn't be able to casually talk. I noticed my boyfriend working and one other girl. Between orders, this other girl would be touching Jim's arm and would smile at him. She would act really flirty with him...and my boyfriend seemed totally fine with it. It hurt because 1) he was letting another girl flirt with him and 2) he always felt bothered if I would flirt with him in public - mind you, I'm not all handsy, but I do playfully hug his arm.

Well Jim didn't notice me in there so I just kept to myself. Until several of the customers walked out, Jim finally noticed me. We went out for lunch, but on our way out I asked him, "Who is your coworker?" and he told me it was Karen. I asked him if he found her attractive, and he said word for word "Honestly, not really. She's not ugly but she's not pretty or anything."

I told him how I felt about him and Karen acting that way in the cafe, and he only told me it was meaningless since that's how Karen is. I tried extremely hard to just kill my jealousy, but it really hurt me. I cried in the kitchen after Jim had gone to sleep that night.

A few days after that event, Jim would be going to Derek's place after work and would come home really late. Earlier today he told me he would be hanging out with Derek again, and with my own insecurities boiling inside me, I asked Jim to stay home with me a few times of the week because we rarely saw each other due to our work schedules. We ended up arguing, and in my anger I snapped at him saying something like, "Fine then you can go to your little threesome." His face went pale and just a sick feeling made me believe that what I had said out of anger was actually true. I asked him and he admitted it.

I ultimately found out that my boyfriend has been having a threesome with Derek and his girlfriend after work almost every day since October. I asked Jim if he was bi, but Jim said they were just sharing Karen and it meant nothing - it was only sex. It hurt. A lot. Jim and I shared the same views that an open relationship never could work for us, that sex with another person while in this relationship would be viewed as cheating, and so on (he was the one who set down the ground rules, and I agreed to them - we both were very monogamous). At least I thought.

I am completely heartbroken. Jim is in the other room just sitting at his desk, and I'm in the bedroom bawling my eyes out while seeking some sort of help from reddit. Honestly, I have no friends here. The friends I have back at home didn't want me to go and we left on bitter terms. I'm ashamed to reach out to them for help. I just can't shake off this feeling of utter disgust and betrayal. I love my boyfriend so much. So very much. A pathetic part of me wants to just work on our relationship, but that is just a horrible choice. I know I should leave him and go back home or whatever.. but right now I'm just in shock.

tl;dr: Found out my boyfriend has been having a threesome with his coworkers. I am extremely heartbroken. How did anyone who experienced infidelity such as this cope and/or move on? What would you advise me to do

# ? Nov 10, 2016 04:04

Gaunab: Feb 13, 2012; LUFTHANSA YOU FUCKING DICKWEASEL

Double post. Blah.

# ? Nov 10, 2016 04:17

corn on the cop: Oct 12, 2012; Break what must be broken, once for all, that's all, and take the suffering on oneself.

â Corey Dostoyevsky

future serial killer alert

quote:

The guy I've been seeing is getting really freaky and weird. I'm not sure where to go from here. [22/F][24/M]

I met "Ben" online. He seemed like a sweet guy, funny, sarcastic, charming, a metal head, an all around decent dude with a car, a full time job at a factory, and he was going to college next year to be a carpenter. He's a bit of a stoner hippy and I usually don't go for those kinds of guys but I decided to try someone new. He said he hasn't had a gf in about 2 years but thats because hes a bit of an odd one and most girls dont relate to him. I figured I'd give him a chance.

We've been talking to/seeing each other for about a month. He's starting to exhibit some.... bizzare behaviours and I don't know how to handle it.

- He called me one night, about a week after we first started talking to one another. we spoke on the phone for a bit while he was on his lunch break then when it was over, we said our goodbyes, he called me hun which was wierd but I brushed it off, and I went to sleep. When I woke up the next morning, I had 40-50 notifications on Facebook. Ben had went and liked everything I posted within the last 3 months. And I mean EVERYTHING. Everything...

- I questioned him and he said he was bored and did some hardcore creeping. I've done it before, but I didn't go and like all their poo poo, so I just let it slide.

- Ben and I met in person for our first date a few days later. He pulled into my driveway in a beat up car, and when I got inside he looked like a homeless person. Like... the no name version of what his Facebook photos looked like. His first words to me were: "I wore these clothes to bed lastnight and decided they still looked good enough to wear on our date."

- When we went to the restaurant, he sat beside me, not acrossed from me, which I thought was weird, and even the waitress was super confused and looked at me like "Wtf?" but I just shrugged my shoulders and ordered food.

- We went for a drive and just talked about random things. It was a nice time and it kind of made up for the last two or three wierd things that he did. Until he pulled over and parked in a parking lot of a factory and kept trying to makeout with me. I pushed him away like "Yo what gives?" and he was like "Well I saw you move towards me so I figured you wanted it." No. No I did not want it. I made no moves. I wasn't even moving.

- We went to the movies and the entire time he kept leaning over and putting the moves on me, trying to makeout with me and as he did so he was making these weird moaning noises and pelvic thrusting in my direction. Needless to say I had no idea what the movie was about because I was too busy fighting off his advances.

- When he dropped me off he asked me if I was his girlfriend, I said no, and went inside. I wanted to call it off right then and there but my friends all talked me into giving him a second chance, telling me "Maybe he was just nervous. He hadn't had a gf in almost two years, just be honest with him."

So I did. And we agreed to try again. He said he'd try to tone it down a bit.

- Second date: He took me to his house and introduced me to his parents. They were very sweet people, they made stirfry which is my favourite food, and they were polite and made me feel very welcome.

- The biggest downfall to that night was random family members and friends just kept stopping by throughout the entire evening. Its funny how every single person they know "just so happened to be in the neighbourhood" when I was over, and every one of them were surprised and curious about "Ben's new woman."

- Throughout the entire night his mother kept saying "THERES A GIRL IN THE HOUSE! THERES A GIRL IN THE HOUSE! OH BOY BEN HAS A GIRL IN THE HOUSE!"

- When we left I told him I wasn't his girlfriend, he told me he knew that but his parents apparently didn't, and he then told me his mother called everyone when he told her about me and went on and on and on and combed through my Facebook page and asked him all sorts of questions about me. Thats why they all showed up.

- I'm still friends with one of my exes, and I have several male friends. He doesn't like that I speak to them because he has trust issues and his last girlfriend left him for another man who was "just a friend." I told him he can't tell me who I can and can not talk to, we've only known each other for two months. He agreed but said he's still cautious, and then made a habit to try and peek over my shoulder while we were on dates to see who I was texting and what we were saying.

I wanted to call it off right then and there but my friends, again, were like "Nooooo give it time! Tell him how you feel! He seems like a sweet guy!"

So I did. And he apologized and said he understood and he would try harder he just wasn't used to this "dating thing."

- Third date never happened. I've been busy this week with school, and work so I had no free time to hang out with him but that didn't stop him from blowing up my phone, liking every single thing I post on Facebook, and asking me to hang out with him every single day of the week. He even offered to just show up at my work and see me, I told him "Don't you dare!" And he even tried to invite himself grocery shopping with me and to my grandmothers birthday party.

- This morning he scolded me for buying an Xboxone, saying "I'm acting like a sheep giving all my money to cooporate companies for things I don't need simply because they exist. My life would be so much better without these trivial things (videogames) and that I'm wasting my money."

I told him to step off cause no man is coming between me and my videogames, he apologized and told me to take care of myself and hes just worried I'm gonna go broke. My friends are still tellling me to give him a chance but to be cautious because of his hatred of videogames.

I have no idea how this dating thing works. I suck at it. I'm not sure what the norm is. Part of me feels like this guy just sucks with women and hasn't had a gf in a while so he needs some "touching up" but the rest of me is screaming "WATCH YOURSELF OR THIS GUY IS GONNA END UP WEARING YOUR SKIN AS A SWEATER."

My friends want me to give him another chance. I want to run far far far away. What the hell do I do? What do I say? This guy is a lost cause... right?

tl;dr: Met a guy online. He's exhibiting some very clingy, posessive and obsessive behaviours, but my friend all want me to give him a chance. What do I do? Should I stay or should I go?

# ? Nov 10, 2016 09:36

Jack Trades: Nov 30, 2010

corn on the cop posted:

future serial killer alert

Why would you go on a second date with a guy like this? I have patience of a saint for awkward/"special" people but I'd loving leave in the middle of the whole movie part.

# ? Nov 10, 2016 09:42

Chichevache: Feb 17, 2010; One of the funniest posters in GIP.

Just not intentionally.

Jack Trades posted:

Why would you go on a second date with a guy like this? I have patience of a saint for awkward/"special" people but I'd loving leave in the middle of the whole movie part.

I'm kinda wondering how terrible OP is if her "friends" keep pushing this psycho on her.

# ? Nov 10, 2016 09:51

Rondette: Nov 4, 2009; Your friendly neighbourhood Postie.; Grimey Drawer

Uhh yeah they are not Good Friends.

# ? Nov 10, 2016 10:17

Jenner: Jun 5, 2011; Lowtax banned me because he thought I was trolling by acting really stupid. I wasn't acting.

Jack Trades posted:

Why would you go on a second date with a guy like this? I have patience of a saint for awkward/"special" people but I'd loving leave in the middle of the whole movie part.

Seriously, I stopped reading at second date. Have a survival sense drat.

# ? Nov 10, 2016 10:38

Zulily Zoetrope: Jun 1, 2011; Muldoon

The dude is one giant walking red flag, but it's also super disconcerting that the only issue her friends have with the guy is that he's leery of video games. What the hell kind of friends does this lady have?

# ? Nov 10, 2016 10:58

Pvt.Scott: Feb 16, 2007; What God wants, God gets, God help us all

Zulily Zoetrope posted:

The dude is one giant walking red flag, but it's also super disconcerting that the only issue her friends have with the guy is that he's leery of video games. What the hell kind of friends does this lady have?

You know how excited that guy's family is that he managed to talk to a girl? It's probably the same for her in relation to her friends. They're both so hopeless and terrible that everyone is just excited that they can sorta tolerate each other for ten minutes.

# ? Nov 10, 2016 11:59

Griefor: Jun 11, 2009

Yeah, this girl will be calling her friends for help when she locked up in this dude's basement and they'll still be telling her to give the guy another chance.

# ? Nov 10, 2016 12:12

zakharov: Nov 30, 2002; Tater Love

I don't want to call fake or anything but how can multiple friends respond to "he's creeping me out" with "you're wrong, give him another chance."

jesus

# ? Nov 10, 2016 12:59

SENTIENT HOUSEMEAT: Oct 14, 2016; A thinking, breathing house? You're mad!

Look sweetie he only keeps a saucer full of dessicated human fingers on his nightstand because of how awkward he is! You have to give him another chance.

At this point her "friends" either hate her and are trying to get her murdered, or she's the hideous victim of some botched scientific experiment and they think this guy is literally the best she can do.

# ? Nov 10, 2016 13:45

Zulily Zoetrope: Jun 1, 2011; Muldoon

Pvt.Scott posted:

You know how excited that guy's family is that he managed to talk to a girl? It's probably the same for her in relation to her friends. They're both so hopeless and terrible that everyone is just excited that they can sorta tolerate each other for ten minutes.

Yeah, I get that. If they were just ignoring everything, that'd be one thing. But they're treating his dislike of videogames as a red flag while being on board with him being generally gross and creepy and clingy.

# ? Nov 10, 2016 13:54

Space Kablooey: May 6, 2009

The lesson here is that she has awful friends.

# ? Nov 10, 2016 13:56

Space Kablooey: May 6, 2009

My (23F) boyfriend (27M) wants to get a blow job from his coworker (28F) because we previously talked about having an open relationship and I said no.

quote:

I'm not sure what to say..

My boyfriend Scott and I have been together for over a year now and I really love being in a relationship with him, We have a lot of fun with each other, we get along great, and he is super supportive of me (emotionally and physically) while I am currently still in college.

Long story short.. Last week in the evening, we were hanging out watching tv, and we got on our usually tangents about random stuff. We actually ended up getting on the topic of open relationships, and whether or not we would be interested in moving in that direction with our relationship. Scott asked me if I would consider it, which I thought about it for a bit, but I wasn't for it at all. I could tell that Scott was hoping I would say yes, or at least suggest opening up the bedroom (I'm assuming anyway).

Last night Scott and I were chatting again, and he brought up a weird request. We started talking about the whole open relationship talk we had last week, a long with all of the details we went over (countless times). Scott asked me if I would be okay with him asking one of his coworkers (28, Alyssa) to give him a blow job. He told me that I got him going on open relationships and opening up the relationship from our talk. I told him that I wasn't for it at all and he acted all grumpy towards me. Scott is blaming me on the open relationship issues, even though both of us talked about it.

What should I say to Scott to make him feel better? Our relationship is very important to me, and there is no way I want is coworker giving him a blow job to get over his hurt feelings about us not opening up our relationship. Not at all.

tl;dr: My boyfriend wants to get a blow job from his coworker because we previously talked about having an open relationship, even though I said no to the idea. He came up to me yesterday and asked me if one of his coworkers could give him a blow job so he could get over the urge of an open relationship. Thoughts?

The commenters are saying that he already got his BJ by the looks of it.

# ? Nov 10, 2016 14:13

BOOTY-ADE: Aug 30, 2006; BIG KOOL TELLIN' Y'ALL TO KEEP IT TIGHT

Jeffrey of YOSPOS posted:

What's the educational system gonna do about it? Assure the guys that kissing their girlfriend after getting a BJ doesn't make them gay?

"Students, please do not engage in kissing during coitus or after oral sex, as by proxy you will be touching your lips to every set of genitals with which your partner has fornicated"

# ? Nov 10, 2016 15:14

Bonzo: Mar 11, 2004; Just like Mama used to make it!

I [26M] found out my ex girlfriend [25F] is with another woman [27F] and they have a son [3M]. I think the child may be mine

quote:

My ex girlfriend Wendy and I dated for three years in college. Wendy and I broke up just after we graduated because of our choices in life. I wanted to move to New York to follow my career and Wendy wanted to stay in Ohio. So we decided to break up, before we did she informed me that she may be pregnant. We both decided it was best to get an abortion, seeing as how I was leaving in the next week.

So fast forward to last week, I had found a new job opportunity in Ohio and so I moved back to be close to my family. I met up with some old buddies from college. They were telling me about everyone. They mentioned Wendy who I have not spoken too her since she told me she got the abortion. I never saw any actual proof of this. I took her word for it. They told me she's lesbian now with another woman and they have a child.

They showed me pictures of Wendy's Facebook. Her profile picture is of her and her partner smiling in bed, with their son sleeping in between them. They showed me more pictures and he resembles me. He has my blonde hair and green eyes. The age match's up from when I saw her last. I have been not seen her in 4 years roughly, so the ages add up. Wendy has black hair and blue eyes, her partner is American Korean. Both of their Facebook and flooded with pictures of him.

Do I sound crazy or should I actually look into this. If so how? I also feel as if even if it is mine, I should just let them live their lives. I don't want to disrupt their family in anyway by getting lawyers involved. I just want to know if he's mine and maybe meet him.

# ? Nov 10, 2016 16:35

Bonzo: Mar 11, 2004; Just like Mama used to make it!

quote:

Me [21 M] with my Girlfriend [20 F] 2 years, Its was our anniversary last week, so we got each other presents. Her big present to me was lingerie, for herself. Am I right in feeling bad after getting pretty much nothing as a gift?

So we've been together for two years and exchanged gifts last night for our anniversary. She got me expensive lingerie, soap, and pajama pants. I bought her a nice sapphire necklace.

I have lots of pajama pants already and don't need another pair, combined with the fact that shes the one who always wears them. And a bar of soap.... I guess because the one I currently have at her place is running out. And the final gift being lingerie. Something I've told her before I don't care about. Something unneeded for our sex life, cause we have too much sex already. It feels like she bought it for herself and is trying to justify it by giving it to me as a gift.

So I am left feeling brushed aside this anniversary and that its been all about her. Is that a fair feeling? or do other guys actually like getting lingerie as a gift

This one has to be fake.

quote:

Me [30 M] look to propose to my 32 [F] GF of 2 years, how does getting engaged work?

ackground: Happily dating my girlfriend for 2 years now, looking to take the next step. We have discussed getting engaged sometime early next year. There is no element of surprise we have both acknowledged that we are looking forward to it.

Can someone give me a run down of the procedure? Are engagement rings the same as wedding rings? My understanding is that they aren't. Should I consult her during selection of engagement ring I will use for proposal? Will I ruin the surprize if I do? Is it customary to choose wedding rings together?

tl;dr: Want to propose to GF. How does picking out rings work?

# ? Nov 10, 2016 16:59

Zulily Zoetrope: Jun 1, 2011; Muldoon

Bonzo posted:

I [26M] found out my ex girlfriend [25F] is with another woman [27F] and they have a son [3M]. I think the child may be mine

If only there was some way of finding out...

# ? Nov 10, 2016 17:06

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# ? Apr 29, 2024 04:27

loquacius: Oct 21, 2008

Bonzo posted:

This one has to be fake.

does this guy not have parents or something

I dunno, I kind of get it a little bit, I didn't really have anyone in my personal life I wanted to talk to about my engagement plans because none of my dude friends are really experts in this field, my sister had a very nontraditional engagement process (whereas my wife's marriage ideas are definitely traditional), and I have no faith in my mom's ability to just be cool about something for five loving seconds, but he could definitely at least Google this and get decent results.

Oh, and the most important statement in the first one is probably "we have too much sex already". I was like, "it seems like a pretty straightforward present, I dunno what your problem is" and then I saw that and I was like "oh, I guess that's his problem"

(so many people would kill to have a problem like that)

Zulily Zoetrope posted:

If only there was some way of finding out...

I dunno this actually does kinda seem like a super awkward topic to broach with someone you don't really speak to anymore and I don't fault him for wanting some advice w/r/t how to approach it

# ? Nov 10, 2016 17:16

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