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My birthday strategy is to let my kids pick out where to dine, usually the hibachi or fondu joint. They get presents from family, but we aren't throwing a party for their classmates, or renting an event space. It's just not how we do. We celebrate the fact that you are alive together, and you can run a friends sleepover another non-birthday occasion. Cuts down on the amount of plastic bought-on-the-way-to-the-party crap drifting up in the corners of our house by a huge degree, and my kids still get invited to everybody elses birthday parties, so it doesn't appear to have permanently stunted their psyches or social growth.
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Nov 11, 2016 06:39
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| # ? Apr 29, 2024 04:56 |
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We decided this morning to ask our daughter what she wanted. She surprisingly chose the indoor waterpark. We'll still have a little party at home with cake and we'll send cupcakes to get class.
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Nov 11, 2016 13:48
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KingColliwog posted:Just need to vent somewhere : Oh god gently caress daycare. My son has been sick pretty much non stop for 2 months now and I know it's just going to last for at least a few more months. The best we had was a 4 days stretch of healthy normal baby. At least he's still happy during the day but the nights are starting to get tough God, this has been us for about the same time frame. And of course, my wife and I get sick too. Hopefully our daughter's immune system will be solid by the time she hits kindergarten after daycare, because more than a year of this would be terrible. Even that long would be not fun.
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Nov 11, 2016 23:51
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This was us for my daughter's six to nine months in care. It culminated in me having to get my tonsils out, but now she hardly ever gets sick -- even when starting in a new school. She started care at 1 year, and is 2.5 now.
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Nov 12, 2016 00:21
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I never went to daycare as a baby/kid and then when I started school I was suddenly sick all of the time. I missed a LOT of school due to illness. Personally, I think little bee is better off bringing home all of the germs from her daycare now as her immune system seems to be getting pretty good at warding them off, rather than hitting school and suddenly having her immune system having to scramble to keep up.
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Nov 12, 2016 00:35
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Would like some sleep advice - mine (21 months) has been waling up at 4am or so lately, since before the time change so its not that even though i am sure it didnt help. He just cries and cries no matter what i do for like two hours,unless he gets his game tablet... and sometimes even sobs through that alhough not as bad. This isnt normal for him, and i am not really sure what i should be doing about it, but my current strategy of trying whatever for an hour as he screams and sobs then finally giving him the tablet so i can get another hour of sleep before another hour of his crying is not sustainable. Please help He has also been quite inconsolable after naps of late, and has really been fighting bedtime.
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Nov 13, 2016 16:12
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The 2 year old is moving into the 4 year olds room today. So tonight might be interesting! Bunk beds are on the list, but we're using that as a reward for the 4 year old being considerate to her sister and not switching the bedroom light on as soon as she wakes up.
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Nov 13, 2016 17:38
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Oodles posted:The 2 year old is moving into the 4 year olds room today. So tonight might be interesting! FYI - here in CA kids have to be 6 before being on the top bunk. I don't know if that is state law or something, but it's not advised. Just something to consider.
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Nov 13, 2016 22:33
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Does anyone have any ideas for getting a 3 year old to sleep past dawn? What the wife and I have tried: - Keeping her up until 8-9pm. - Taking her (and her sister) to the park to play for an hour or so, an hour before bed time. - Changing alarms (I have a noisy alarm that kicks off @ 515am) and alternating between a white noise generator and portable speakers playing soft classical music (which they love) in an attempt to drown out any noise outside of her room. Whatever we do, it never works. She continues to get up between 5 and 530 am. Normally she just goes and crawls into bed next to my wife, but if her sister wakes up as well, they'll start partying in the house as soon as I leave for work (or even before in the odd few cases where they've both woken up at 3am). Next week I'll be back to ask for help on breaking my five year old out of her "crawl in bed with mommy and daddy" habit that we let develop into something out of our control.
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Nov 14, 2016 15:01
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So is it common that daylight savings time fucks up a toddlers sleep schedule? All week it has been a nightmare at nap and bedtime and it sucks.
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Nov 14, 2016 15:07
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Chin Strap posted:So is it common that daylight savings time fucks up a toddlers sleep schedule? All week it has been a nightmare at nap and bedtime and it sucks. Yes
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Nov 14, 2016 17:00
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VorpalBunny posted:FYI - here in CA kids have to be 6 before being on the top bunk. I don't know if that is state law or something, but it's not advised. Just something to consider. What now... In  it's up to the parents. Thankfully. It went ok, a bit of bother getting the four year old to keep quiet as soon as she was put into bed. She also woke up at 6:15 but hey, not bad for a first night. I also heard them chatting this morning, it was pretty  "tell me about your dreams, I dreamt about ponies".
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Nov 14, 2016 17:55
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My sister-in-law just informed my wife that her husband's parents drive around town with her 10-month-old without a car seat. I can't even imagine. First, it's illegal. Second, it's dumb. The most recent time, she picked her son up, yelled at her in-laws, and furiously stormed out of the house. She could hear them laughing at her as she left. Her husband asked her to apologize to his family because "nobody got hurt" and "we didn't sit in car seats as kids, why does our kid need to?" It's just a lovely situation that she's in because her father-in-law is the mayor of town; the town is super small, so people would know if she did anything drastic (like get a court order or anyonmously call the cops on them); and the town is in the rural, Midwest where mindsets don't change (quickly). In an ideal world, she'd divorce, move in with us until she can get settled, and make her life better. But that's never going to happen. It just sucks. /rant
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Nov 14, 2016 17:59
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LCL-Dead posted:Does anyone have any ideas for getting a 3 year old to sleep past dawn? We have one of those clocks that turns green when it's OK to come out of your room. Doesn't always work to keep her asleep but she knows she should play in her room if she wakes up and it's not green yet. We've been using it for about a year and it works!
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Nov 14, 2016 19:37
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Good-Natured Filth posted:My sister-in-law just informed my wife that her husband's parents drive around town with her 10-month-old without a car seat. I can't even imagine. First, it's illegal. Second, it's dumb. The most recent time, she picked her son up, yelled at her in-laws, and furiously stormed out of the house. She could hear them laughing at her as she left. Her husband asked her to apologize to his family because "nobody got hurt" and "we didn't sit in car seats as kids, why does our kid need to?" The ones that got killed aren't around to tell anyone about their experience, so of course the ones who remember it fondly wouldn't mind. They were lucky. Others weren't, and it sucks that people don't realize that. What is it with the rejection of science and reason? The only way to change people's minds is either for something drastic to happen and people realize the error of their ways (LOL) or to plug away until maybe someday people realize their thinking was flawed (LOL LOL). If the dad cares so little about his wife's concerns and the safety of his kid, this doesn't bode well for them. Oodles posted:What now... We are CA foster parents, so I am keenly aware of the law. Also, the warning labels on our Ikea bunk bed set specifically say not to be used by kids under the age of 6. I have no idea if that is global, or just for sets sold in the US. Most people don't pay attention to stuff like that, I just am aware because we have to abide by the law due to our foster certification. Otherwise, my almost-6-year-old would have been on the top bunk over a year ago. Upon reflection, these two issues are intertwined in the struggle of who knows better for our kids - the parents or the regulators aka government. Clearly, I lean towards the regulations while others shrug and do what they want. Interesting...
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Nov 14, 2016 19:45
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Good-Natured Filth posted:My sister-in-law just informed my wife that her husband's parents drive around town with her 10-month-old without a car seat. I can't even imagine. That sucks. They would be removed from the list of approved baby sitters if it was me. Whether or not I apologize would depend on the family dynamic and how easy it is to keep the peace in the family. I'd always be there when baby was with them though.
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Nov 14, 2016 19:58
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VorpalBunny posted:We are CA foster parents, so I am keenly aware of the law. Also, the warning labels on our Ikea bunk bed set specifically say not to be used by kids under the age of 6. I have no idea if that is global, or just for sets sold in the US. Most people don't pay attention to stuff like that, I just am aware because we have to abide by the law due to our foster certification. Otherwise, my almost-6-year-old would have been on the top bunk over a year ago. Don't get me wrong, I'm not going to not have a side on the bed. We've got one just now and she's only a foot off the floor.
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Nov 14, 2016 20:56
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New Weave Wendy posted:We have one of those clocks that turns green when it's OK to come out of your room. Doesn't always work to keep her asleep but she knows she should play in her room if she wakes up and it's not green yet. We've been using it for about a year and it works! Ooooh.. That is an awesome idea! Thanks!
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Nov 14, 2016 21:31
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VorpalBunny posted:The ones that got killed aren't around to tell anyone about their experience, so of course the ones who remember it fondly wouldn't mind. They were lucky. Others weren't, and it sucks that people don't realize that. Here in Norway (a small nation of about 5 million people) we had zero children under the age of 10 killed in car accidents last year. None. Three or four decades ago it used to be about 100 per year.
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Nov 15, 2016 13:10
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teething sucks. my poor 4.5 month old has had the shits for the past week. Took him to the doc and just got told to give him pedialite, keep feeding oatmeal to try and bulk things up, got some prescription butt cream for the yeast infection making GBS threads ten times a day caused and got told to give tylenol for how painful diaper changes are. But hes not sick, so they said the only thing it can be is him swallowing a bunch of drool. And he still might not actually cut the tooth for another month since theres nothing on his gums yet.
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Nov 15, 2016 16:02
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Can anyone here recommend a book or some other resource for a first time parent staying home with their child? My daughter turns a year old next week, and though I like to think I'm doing a decent job, I believe we could use a little more structure in our day-to-day life. It was a lot easier to take care of her when she was just a few months old, but now she requires so much more attention and I just want to be sure she is getting what she needs. I did notice the chatter on this page about kids getting sick at day care, and it's a reminder of just how fortunate I am to be able to stay home. 12 months and we haven't had a single issue.
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Nov 15, 2016 18:53
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Night #2 of room sharing update. The 4 year old woke up at 3 whimpering that she couldn't find her pillow, which she was lying on. This then woke up the 2 year old. Who shouted until 5:30 AM. I'm shattered, I used to survive on broken sleep when they were babies. One night of broken sleep and I'm a broken man. Just a phase right guys...guys?
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Nov 15, 2016 18:56
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Oodles posted:Night #2 of room sharing update. It could be worse. It could be like mine, where the three year old gets in bed with us at 2am, followed shortly by the 5 year old, where they then begin to fight over who gets to lay next to who, or turn on the TV and turn the volume up, or jump on you repeatedly because they want a drink of water.
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Nov 15, 2016 20:21
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I'd hate to be the one they're fighting over sleeping next to, but I'd probably be heartbroken to be the one they're not.
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Nov 15, 2016 22:04
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the good fax machine posted:I did notice the chatter on this page about kids getting sick at day care, and it's a reminder of just how fortunate I am to be able to stay home. 12 months and we haven't had a single issue. You're just postponing it. Whenever your kid finally starts interacting regularly with a bunch of other kids, you're going to get all the diseases, all the time. (But you're lucky in that you get to stay at home with your kid for a year. That's the norm here, and I'm so glad my kid was a year old and a bit more robust before she started the germfest that is kindergarten. I'd hate to have a constantly sick baby.)
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Nov 15, 2016 22:36
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kaschei posted:I'd hate to be the one they're fighting over sleeping next to, but I'd probably be heartbroken to be the one they're not. Since our 4 year old comes to bed every night we've been trying to do better with the 2 year old and keep her in her room. Which means my wife sleeps in there with her at some point every night. I think I posted in the thread that when I go in to try and quiet down the 2 year old EVERY NIGHT she see's me and screams NOOOOOOO! I want mama *sobs*. Well last night she did something new. I opened her door and walk in and she just turns around and walks back to her bed no crying and says "can you get her" in a pitiful little voice. It made me laugh. Then she climbed back in her bed and cried til mom came in. I find both reactions funny.
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Nov 16, 2016 06:47
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kaschei posted:I'd hate to be the one they're fighting over sleeping next to, but I'd probably be heartbroken to be the one they're not. One of the reasons why I hate it when they fight over it. It's me they're fighting about sleeping next to. It kills me, no lie, whenever we go out. They refuse to hold their mothers hands and will double up on me while walking or want to only sit next to me at restaurants, etc. I know drat well she doesn't treat them badly at all so it just kills me when they refuse to fight over sitting next to her on the couch or at the dinner table.
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Nov 16, 2016 13:34
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I wouldn't give them the option to choose where to sit.
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Nov 16, 2016 14:00
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His Divine Shadow posted:I wouldn't give them the option to choose where to sit. We usually don't but they still fight, whine and cry anyway. I've lost count of how many restaurants we've walked out of because they refuse to behave in the first 5 minutes after we come in.
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Nov 16, 2016 14:16
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Yeah, I know that feeling. They're stubborn and they're two, but they forget, I'm their dad they get it from me. Win or die trying!
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Nov 16, 2016 14:33
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So in a similar vein, we have a 19 month old girl. My wife was working out at the YMCA today with her at child watch there, and when they were done she fought my wife so hard about buckling her in the car seat that after 20 minutes of this she called me looking for advice. I am as baffled as her. Finally tried an animal cracker bribe that worked, but I don't want to rely on that long term as I don't want to encourage the idea of tantrums = treat. Anyone have suggestions as to how to deescalate tantrums that are happening for no particular reason?
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Nov 16, 2016 16:48
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My go-to method has always been "I am bigger. I am stronger. I am the daddy." and then I just muscle through their twisting/screaming tantrum and buckle their seat belts. My 3 year old is an amazing instigator and will push the buttons of everyone in the house until she gets in trouble or gets bored. She's slowly learning not to do that with me as I'm not as nice and forgiving as mommy when it comes to handing out punishments and actually sticking to them. Aside from that, they both throw borderline full on crying tantrums when I tell them it's time to leave the park / play place / etc and it usually comes down to carrying one and almost dragging the other back to the car by her hand. Otherwise they split up and run and that's just loving annoying.
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Nov 16, 2016 17:00
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Try to offer the bribe before it becomes a tantrum. Once it's in screaming crazy head territory, there's nothing to be done but wait it out or attempt to out-muscle them. I try to get my 2.5 year old focused on something else before we get to the car, so that it doesn't occur to her to tantrum. We were having a bad string of them, so breaking the association has worked really well. If I can get her actively excited about something else like where we are going or some treat or something, usually she will be very cooperative about climbing into her chair and buckling.
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Nov 16, 2016 17:39
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What you are describing is positive reinforcement training like you would use with dogs. Maybe that is a good analogy for teaching toddlers.
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Nov 16, 2016 17:54
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Sockmuppet posted:You're just postponing it. Whenever your kid finally starts interacting regularly with a bunch of other kids, you're going to get all the diseases, all the time. It's actually more of a five year plan, which is why I was reaching out to see if anyone had any suggestions on the topic. We do a lot of fun stuff with our time, we read and play and go for walks and all that fun crap, but I can't help feeling like there's more I could be doing for her. Or I could be using my time more effectively.
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Nov 16, 2016 18:05
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the good fax machine posted:Can anyone here recommend a book or some other resource for a first time parent staying home with their child? My daughter turns a year old next week, and though I like to think I'm doing a decent job, I believe we could use a little more structure in our day-to-day life. It was a lot easier to take care of her when she was just a few months old, but now she requires so much more attention and I just want to be sure she is getting what she needs. I don't know of any good books, but if you want specific advice I can provide that. What's your routine like right now? Normal daily stuff, rainy-day stuff, special weekly events, night-time routine, meal-time routine, etc. and so on? I'll see if I spot any obvious holes that might be worth filling or have an obvious suggestions on things to improve, especially moving forward (if you think the 1-year olds demand a lot of attention and you feel like you should be doing oh so much more, both feelings only get progressively worse as they get closer to 2)
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Nov 16, 2016 18:30
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Chin Strap posted:So in a similar vein, we have a 19 month old girl. My wife was working out at the YMCA today with her at child watch there, and when they were done she fought my wife so hard about buckling her in the car seat that after 20 minutes of this she called me looking for advice. I am as baffled as her. Finally tried an animal cracker bribe that worked, but I don't want to rely on that long term as I don't want to encourage the idea of tantrums = treat. Giving as many choices as possible before the tantrum sets in has helped my now 2.5 year old a lot. He gets a choice whether he climbs in his car seat or I put him in it, he gets a choice of whether he buckles the chest clip or I do, and he gets a choice of what book/toy he wants. Feeling in control really deescalates the situation.
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Nov 16, 2016 18:53
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the good fax machine posted:It's actually more of a five year plan, which is why I was reaching out to see if anyone had any suggestions on the topic. We do a lot of fun stuff with our time, we read and play and go for walks and all that fun crap, but I can't help feeling like there's more I could be doing for her. Or I could be using my time more effectively. I guess it depends on where you live and your lifestyle. I am a stay-at-home mom of three, the oldest is now in kindergarten, the middle is in part-time preschool and the youngest is still in diapers (though we are going to start the first phase of potty-training next week). With the first, I made sure we got out of the house every single day. Either grocery shopping or botanical gardens or gym classes or playdates. I just wanted to make sure he and I were socializing, and I also wanted to expose him to all the germs I knew he was missing out on not being in daycare. As each new kid came along, it was harder to get out and do stuff like that because its harder to keep an eye on each of them, but we still make an effort. I never really emphasized educational stuff over fun stuff, so while we'd go to the local museum we would probably spend more time outside rolling down hills or at the park outside than actually in the museum. I am a big believer in kids getting used to the unusual and uncomfortable, so I would have them walk a little more than sit in a stroller, and we traveled with them a lot on road trips and stuff. I had people hold them as infants so they wouldn't shy too much from strangers. For the most part all these little things have worked, they travel like champs and are friendly to everyone (for the most part). I guess it really matters on how you want to spend your time, as well. Don't lose yourself in your kid's childhood - for example I really like going to racetracks, so I made sure to haul them along when they were little to get used to the sights and sounds of the ponies. Now that they are older, they aren't scared of the horses and they like to cheer the races on.
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Nov 16, 2016 19:01
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the good fax machine posted:It's actually more of a five year plan, which is why I was reaching out to see if anyone had any suggestions on the topic. Heh, I was just replying to your comment about feeling lucky that your kid wasn't getting sick at daycare, I didn't even notice that you'd asked a question. Small kids learn through play. Just by interacting with her and including her in your activities throughout the day, she's absorbing and learning all the time, everything from language to social interaction. If you're going to be staying at home with her for several years, you should definitely get her involved in regular activities with other kids, but don't feel like you have to be quizzing her with flash cards or teaching her French for your time together to be "valuable".
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Nov 16, 2016 19:05
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And now my wife is asking me to come home early because it is nothing but pissed off now. We know it is because she needs a nap, but she is fighting naps so hard the past few weeks. We have kept with our normal nap routine, but at least 2-3 times a week we just can't get a nap out of her and it results in being her pissed off all afternoon. We have started resorting to driving her a bit in the car which often got her down, but now she is so pissed from being tired that we can't even get her in the seat to do that. Any ideas?
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Nov 16, 2016 20:19
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