PYF: Funny Forum Quotes: Kirk Johnson's didgeridoo-like farts

The Something Awful Forums > Main > Post Your Favorite: Carefully Curated > PYF: Funny Forum Quotes: Kirk Johnson's didgeridoo-like farts

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A HUNGRY MOUTH: Nov 3, 2006; date of birth: 02/05/88
manufacturer: mazda
model/year: 2008 mazda6
sexuality: straight, bi-curious
peircings: pusspuss; Nap Ghost

"Why would anyone do a thing that I, personally, don't do??" — Tiggum.txt

Crocoswine posted:

2005 regdate doesn't know what "source your quotes" means, still posts like it's 2005

Welcome to TreeRat's Blog! Enjoy your stay . . . If You Dare

# ? Nov 24, 2016 04:05

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Apr 19, 2024 18:59

cyberia: Jun 24, 2011; Do not call me that!
Snuffles was my slave name.
You shall now call me Snowball; because my fur is pretty and white.

Gaunab posted:

This is embarrassing to admit but I don't know how lesbian sex works.

Tears In A Vial posted:
Picture two original glazed krispy kreme doughnuts going in opposite directions around the large hadron collider.

# ? Nov 24, 2016 04:25

Megillah Gorilla: Sep 22, 2003; If only all of life's problems could be solved by smoking a professor of ancient evil texts.; Bread Liar

Bertrand Hustle posted:

"Don't use somebody else's culture as a prop for your lovely food photography" isn't exactly esoteric. It's not even including chopsticks, it's going back afterwards like "oh better put some chopsticks in there, it wouldn't be authentic otherwise" that comes across weird. But no, don't bother reading the extremely easy to understand article.

People in that thread are getting super offended by something as innocuous as "hey try to be a little more respectful" and I just don't get it.

It's the cooking equivalent of this:

# ? Nov 24, 2016 04:54

sexpig by night: Sep 8, 2011; by Azathoth

I'm trying to imagine the kind of person who gets mad at 'only' getting 3 hours of Pearl Jam and I genuinely can't.

# ? Nov 24, 2016 05:31

funmanguy: Apr 20, 2006; What time is it?

It's me. I am the one who enjoys Pearl Jam.

# ? Nov 24, 2016 05:38

Absurd Alhazred: Mar 27, 2010; by Athanatos

funmanguy posted:

It's me. I am the one who enjoys Pearl Jam.

I love Stairway to Heaven! :buddy:

# ? Nov 24, 2016 05:42

shitty poker hand: Jun 13, 2013

Absurd Alhazred posted:

I love Stairway to Heaven!

Oh, that's funny, I get it. It's funny because that's the wrong band, right? That's funny.

# ? Nov 24, 2016 06:39

RyokoTK: Feb 12, 2012; I am cool.

Bertrand Hustle posted:

"Don't use somebody else's culture as a prop for your lovely food photography" isn't exactly esoteric. It's not even including chopsticks, it's going back afterwards like "oh better put some chopsticks in there, it wouldn't be authentic otherwise" that comes across weird. But no, don't bother reading the extremely easy to understand article.

People in that thread are getting super offended by something as innocuous as "hey try to be a little more respectful" and I just don't get it.

They're getting irritated because putting utensils in food photog isn't loving cultural appropriation, it's for composition.

# ? Nov 24, 2016 07:13

AtomD: May 3, 2009; Fun Shoe

I found this picture of Italian food:

AtomD has a new favorite as of 07:51 on Nov 24, 2016

# ? Nov 24, 2016 07:37

Goa Tse-tung: Feb 11, 2008; ;3; Yams Fan

RyokoTK posted:

They're getting irritated because putting utensils in food photog isn't loving cultural appropriation, it's for composition.

but for some reason only for example asian food, the difference of google image searches was mentioned...

# ? Nov 24, 2016 07:47

Megillah Gorilla: Sep 22, 2003; If only all of life's problems could be solved by smoking a professor of ancient evil texts.; Bread Liar

I made some borscht and put an Adidas tracksuit next to it.

# ? Nov 24, 2016 07:49

Karate Bastard: Jul 31, 2007; Soiled Meat

Imma steal alla yalls culture haha its mine now.

# ? Nov 24, 2016 07:50

Lunchmeat Larry: Nov 3, 2012

im gonna deep fry a haggis and sit my filthy uncircumcised scottish cock next to it

# ? Nov 24, 2016 07:51

Karate Bastard: Jul 31, 2007; Soiled Meat

Gorilla Salad posted:

I made some borscht and put an Adidas tracksuit next to it.

This is a good quote.

# ? Nov 24, 2016 07:53

Clitch: Feb 26, 2002; I lived through
Donald Trump's presidency
and all I got was
this lousy virus

funmanguy posted:

It's me. I am the one who enjoys Pearl Jam.

I was at work today, when Alive came on the radio. That amazing intro starts up, and I'm like "gently caress ye- Oh wait, a Pearl Jam song comes after this part."

# ? Nov 24, 2016 08:06

Rough Lobster: May 27, 2009; Don't be such a squid, bro

AtomD posted:

I found this picture of Italian food:

Trump ruins yet another thing.

# ? Nov 24, 2016 08:15

Hemingway To Go!: Nov 10, 2008; im stupider then dog shit, i dont give a shit, and i dont give a fuck, and i will never shut the fuck up, and i'll always Respect my enemys.
- ernest hemingway

RyokoTK posted:

They're getting irritated because putting utensils in food photog isn't loving cultural appropriation, it's for composition.

and telling someone they're taking pictures of their loving food wrong is just being a jackass and not helping any general imagined cause

# ? Nov 24, 2016 08:27

fuck off Batman: Oct 14, 2013; Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah!

Gorilla Salad posted:

I made some borscht and put an Adidas tracksuit next to it.

Haha, yeah, I made some vodka and put a filthy slipper next to it.

# ? Nov 24, 2016 08:33

Clitch: Feb 26, 2002; I lived through
Donald Trump's presidency
and all I got was
this lousy virus

I just read an actual argument about the social injustice of having a pair of chopsticks in a photo of a bowl of noodles, and Donald Trump is president elect.

I can't help but feel these things are related.

# ? Nov 24, 2016 08:35

Hemingway To Go!: Nov 10, 2008; im stupider then dog shit, i dont give a shit, and i dont give a fuck, and i will never shut the fuck up, and i'll always Respect my enemys.
- ernest hemingway

steinrokkan posted:

Clinton was like Edward, a distant, cold and uncaring vampire who is in an abusive relationship with an impressionable, obsessive and dumb young girl (hint: America). The relationship is built literally on nothing except some aesthetic ideal that Edward represents to ~~Bella~~ America. In fact Edward keeps abandoning her for long periods of times, and only appears occasionally for short periods of time (hint: election) when their relationship appears to evolve into something more meaningful, but then he always leaves her again, supposedly for her own good but realistically for his own selfish reasons, often to carouse with billionaire vampire elders, as all the other vampires seem to function reasonably well around America, and Edward is the only one who is an awkward sperglord with the personality of a dead rabbit (vampires eat dead rabbits, so this is a joke for you Twilightheads). The other vampires are alternative Democratic nominees, such as Bernie Sanders, represented by Alice Cullen, who has the incredible psychic power of predicting the future through perfect empathy with all living creatures (Bernie Sanders used this power to summon a bird of peace to his rally) - Sanders predicts the upcoming class battle between the establishment (represented by a thinly disguised ripped-off World of Darkness Ventrue clan in the books) and the disenfranchised proletariat of all the other characters on the frozen surface of a lake - this is a metaphor for the precarious state of the world in face of the climate change.

Trump is like Jacob, an unlikable, self-obsessed hothead with an attitude issue and a shallow physical lust for America, which he tries to feebly rationalize in his platitudes to her. He is the opposite of Edward, while Edward would keep America hanging for extended periods of time, only appearing at strategic junctures to temporarily reinforce his relationship with America, Jacob is basically a stalker, who appears downright pathetic and seems to do his more harm than good to his chances with America with his constant attempts to talk her into leaving Edward for good and becoming his girlfriend instead. However, much like Trump, Jacob reveals that he has several trumps up his sleeve - first, he becomes a vampire, thus reversing the powerplay between him and Edward, whose frail physique makes him seem weak, and reminds one of a sufferer of some disease, perhaps even consumption (or pneumonia!), second, he represents the interests of the citizens of America (his Native American tribesmen) against the arrogant, violent newcomers (the aristocratic, yet bloodthirsty Anglo-Saxon vampires who are intruders in Jacob's land). It doesn't need to be mentioned that this is a striking parallel to the Trump platform of protecting the territorial and demographic integrity of his country against a legion of rapists and terrorists.

Now, in the books Bella chooses Edward over Jacob, but therein lies the real genius of Stephenie Meyer. Remember that the books were written during the Obama presidency - Bella here represents the naive America wowed by the Obama campaign, surrendering herself to his charms, even though it in effect means that the first sight that ignited her love would put her under the sell of Obama's natural follower, the uncharismatic, selfish Hillary (Obama is the side of Edward that made Bella fall in love with him, Hillary is the side that makes her relationship with him abusive and unsustainable). However, by doing so this America turns into yet another lifeless vampire. Now our gaze must turn towards Bella's newborn child, the product of her unholy bond with Edward (establishment Democrats), though which America itself was seemingly turned into a domain of ivory tower elites with no place for the common man. But Renesme, the child, has in fact warm blood coursing through her veins, she is the future of America, not Bella, and Jacob Trump sees it, he imprints on the newborn, and thus is symbolically described the dynamic of this election - the aging coalition of people who elected Obama is too lifeless, too disenchanted to really effect the world outside the circles of Establishment vampires, even though they are nominally bound to Democrats through marriage to Hillary Cullen, there is no life in them that could stop their descent into irrelevance. But they gave life to a new political being, Renesme, which is an antithesis of its parents, you can imagine her as all the expunged, abandoned life force of Bella / America coalescing into a new form, a fertile soil to be tilled by Trump - Jacob and his lustful, energetic, albeit naive and brutish way.

# ? Nov 24, 2016 08:36

Tiggum: Oct 24, 2007; Your life and your quest end here.

A HUNGRY MOUTH posted:

"Why would anyone do a thing that I, personally, don't do??" — Tiggum.txt

I asked a question and someone answered it. How do you find out other people's opinions and reasons for things? :shrug:

# ? Nov 24, 2016 09:15

CharlestheHammer: Jun 26, 2011; YOU SAY MY POSTS ARE THE RAVINGS OF THE DUMBEST PERSON ON GOD'S GREEN EARTH BUT YOU YOURSELF ARE READING THEM. CURIOUS!

Hemingway To Go! posted:

and telling someone they're taking pictures of their loving food wrong is just being a jackass and not helping any general imagined cause

Lol being a giant baby about your dumb photo is way worse.

Clitch posted:

I just read an actual argument about the social injustice of having a pair of chopsticks in a photo of a bowl of noodles, and Donald Trump is president elect.

I can't help but feel these things are related.

Nah they arent, reactionary movements are natural when progress is made.

Trump was always a when not if.

CharlestheHammer has a new favorite as of 09:26 on Nov 24, 2016

# ? Nov 24, 2016 09:24

a cyborg mug: Mar 8, 2010

Karate Bastard posted:

Imma steal alla yalls culture haha its mine now.

joke's on you, my culture is real bad garbage

# ? Nov 24, 2016 11:01

A HUNGRY MOUTH: Nov 3, 2006; date of birth: 02/05/88
manufacturer: mazda
model/year: 2008 mazda6
sexuality: straight, bi-curious
peircings: pusspuss; Nap Ghost

Tiggum posted:

I asked a question and someone answered it. How do you find out other people's opinions and reasons for things?

If you're seriously confused, your questions are usually rhetorical and presume that your own experiences are universally accepted, and that others' approaches are impenetrable and not worth the two seconds of thought it would take to puzzle them out. This is something endemic to your posts and opinions in particular. I hope that this blunt statement helps you absorb the exact thing my previous post should have imparted through humor and context, even though past experience has told me this is unlikely.

There's a big difference between "oh, huh, why do you do it that way?" and "why would anyone ever do it that way when they could [the thing I do]? It makes no sense" and I hope someday you discover the secrets of conversation, muchacho

Rats, Tiggum'd again!!

# ? Nov 24, 2016 14:06

IUG: Jul 14, 2007

My favorite thing about the quote thread is when people continue on the conversation from the quote, rather than clicking the link for the quote and talking about it there.

# ? Nov 24, 2016 14:11

Palpek: Dec 27, 2008; Do you feel it, Zach?
My coffee warned me about it.

Big respect to Kanye West for being this considerate and making Pearl Jam stop playing after 3 hours. That's like 3 regular people's concerts, it must be exhausting.

# ? Nov 24, 2016 14:15

Jeza: Feb 13, 2011; The cries of the dead are terrible indeed; you should try not to hear them.

IUG posted:

My favorite thing about the quote thread is when people continue on the conversation from the quote, rather than clicking the link for the quote and talking about it there.

I don't know about you, but I'm not following a bowl of noodles into GWS just to discuss how offensive it is to put chopsticks in your photos.

# ? Nov 24, 2016 14:19

Taciturn Tactician: Jan 27, 2011; The secret to good health is a balanced diet and unstable healing radiation; Lipstick Apathy

Palpek posted:

Big respect to Kanye West for being this considerate and making Pearl Jam stop playing after 3 hours. That's like 3 regular people's concerts, it must be exhausting.

Let us recall this concert happened eight years ago and our tree friend is still this passionately furious.

# ? Nov 24, 2016 14:19

steinrokkan: Apr 2, 2011; Soiled Meat

Taciturn Tactician posted:

Let us recall this concert happened eight years ago and our tree friend is still this passionately furious.

He intended to live out the rest of his life at the concert hall, living off spilled beer and righteous Perl Jam tunes, then Kanye loving ruined his retirement scheme.

# ? Nov 24, 2016 14:33

Improbable Lobster: Jan 6, 2012; What is the Matrix 🌐? We just don't know 😎.; Buglord

echinopsis posted:

geeze you guys why dont you just jerk off into a storm its gonna yield better results than this poo poo storm.. IMO think about killing yourselfs, decide not to and go cuddle up in your monogamous blankets. enjoy the warmth. eat some poo poo. idc. anyway your poo poo bites. imagine a tv show called fart factor - hosted by none other than the honourable joe rogan

# ? Nov 24, 2016 15:14

Tiggum: Oct 24, 2007; Your life and your quest end here.

A HUNGRY MOUTH posted:

your questions are usually rhetorical

No they aren't.

A HUNGRY MOUTH posted:

I hope that this blunt statement helps you absorb the exact thing my previous post should have imparted through humor and context, even though past experience has told me this is unlikely.

I'd say "I hope you understand this blunt statement" but I already specifically said that I was asking a question and you decided you knew my intent better than I did, so I guess you're just going to carry on going "Hmm, I know Tiggum always says his questions are actually questions and not weird blanket statements, but this time I'm going to assume the exact opposite. 648th time's the charm!"

# ? Nov 24, 2016 15:31

steinrokkan: Apr 2, 2011; Soiled Meat

He's not wrong, you know.

# ? Nov 24, 2016 15:33

chernobyl kinsman: Mar 18, 2007; a friend of the friendly atom; Soiled Meat

Squashing Machine posted:

<Social Justice ED-209 busts through the wall>

YOU ARE IN VIOLATION OF AN ESOTERIC RULE ABOUT CULTURAL APPROPRIATION KNOWN ONLY BY READERS OF EVERYDAYFEMINISM.COM. YOU HAVE 20 SECONDS TO APOLOGIZE

# ? Nov 24, 2016 15:50

Guy Mann: Mar 28, 2016; by Lowtax

my dad posted:

<Squashing Machine busts into quotes thread>

FEMINISTS!!!!!

# ? Nov 24, 2016 15:52

Zulily Zoetrope: Jun 1, 2011; Muldoon

Jeza posted:

I don't know about you, but I'm not following a bowl of noodles into GWS just to discuss how offensive it is to put chopsticks in your photos.

I'd hate to presuppose a guy's intent from something as ineffable as the specific wording of his statement, but I think he's referring to the people who decided to use the quote thread to announce the exact degree to which they're offended by chopsticks, rather than the people who just didn't continue the conversation anywhere.

Or maybe he's just curious what everybody else thinks about chopsticks, and has no idea how to phrase a genuine question.

# ? Nov 24, 2016 15:55

A HUNGRY MOUTH: Nov 3, 2006; date of birth: 02/05/88
manufacturer: mazda
model/year: 2008 mazda6
sexuality: straight, bi-curious
peircings: pusspuss; Nap Ghost

Tiggum posted:

No they aren't.

Oh, my mistake, then you were seriously asking why people would use an extremely common utensil suited to grab and manipulate pieces of food to grab and manipulate pieces of food, when other options (the ones you use) exist

"I just can't figure it out!!" — Tiggum

Zulily Zoetrope posted:

Or maybe he's just curious what everybody else thinks about chopsticks, and has no idea how to phrase a genuine question.

Careful, I hear this is catching.

# ? Nov 24, 2016 16:06

Whiz Palace: Dec 8, 2013

It's the crocodilest of tears to complain about that in the same forum that hosts China.jpg, adjacent to a T&T thread that once began with an unironic statement that "Chinamen are worse than dogs"

e: vvv yeah but it just seems they have way better fights to pick if they want them

Whiz Palace has a new favorite as of 16:20 on Nov 24, 2016

# ? Nov 24, 2016 16:08

Doc Hawkins: Jun 15, 2010; Dashing? But I'm not even moving!

Whiz Palace posted:

It's the crocodilest of tears to complain about that in the same forum that hosts China.jpg, adjacent to a T&T thread that once began with an unironic statement that "Chinamen are worse than dogs"

Incredibly, people can post in these forums and still object to some things it contains.

# ? Nov 24, 2016 16:19