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Night10194
Feb 13, 2012

We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

MonsieurChoc posted:

I also want to play a Mind-FLayer Paladin one of these days. You see, he only eats the brains of really evil people, and only as a last resort!

Dead is dead, and it's not like it's all that common for a Paladin to go a week or two without killing something sentient anyway!

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Nessus
Dec 22, 2003

After a Speaker vote, you may be entitled to a valuable coupon or voucher!



megane posted:

"Detect Evil" is literally just a Geiger counter.
Please, it would be a Geigax counter.

It would seem that the simplest way to keep the drow, if you must, is to just drop the skin tone thing entirely. If they retain a sobriquet of "dark elves" it's due to all the spider worship and everything.

Doresh
Jan 7, 2015

Nessus posted:

It would seem that the simplest way to keep the drow, if you must, is to just drop the skin tone thing entirely. If they retain a sobriquet of "dark elves" it's due to all the spider worship and everything.

Make them green. And give them stretchy arms.

unseenlibrarian
Jun 4, 2012

There's only one thing in the mountains that leaves a track like this. The creature of legend that roams the Timberline. My people named him Sasquatch. You call him... Bigfoot.
Honestly I think Spider-gods get a bad rap so the next D&D campaign I run the Spider god will be the Lawful Good patron of a nation of Paladins (Who honor him because a spider once saved the paladin-king's heir from traitors by spinning a web over the door of the room he was hiding in, thus making the villains looking for him not bother to look in there, thinking it long-abandoned.)

Kurieg
Jul 19, 2012

RIP Lutri: 5/19/20-4/2/20
:blizz::gamefreak:
Don't forget the chaotic evil god who is his nemesis.
Oh'eld shu.

Halloween Jack
Sep 12, 2003
I WILL CUT OFF BOTH OF MY ARMS BEFORE I VOTE FOR ANYONE THAT IS MORE POPULAR THAN BERNIE!!!!!

Kurieg posted:

Don't forget the chaotic evil god who is his nemesis.
Oh'eld shu.
You can summon him on any plane you want, as long as he gets back in time for the beans. He really wants to go to church, if you know what I mean. He likes the night life, he likes to boogie...

Doresh
Jan 7, 2015

unseenlibrarian posted:

Honestly I think Spider-gods get a bad rap so the next D&D campaign I run the Spider god will be the Lawful Good patron of a nation of Paladins (Who honor him because a spider once saved the paladin-king's heir from traitors by spinning a web over the door of the room he was hiding in, thus making the villains looking for him not bother to look in there, thinking it long-abandoned.)

Give him a strong jumping spider theme. They're pretty adorable for spiders. Maybe also make him the inventor of the loom.

JackMann
Aug 11, 2010

Secure. Contain. Protect.
Fallen Rib
Spiders are pretty chill bros.

Ratoslov
Feb 15, 2012

Now prepare yourselves! You're the guests of honor at the Greatest Kung Fu Cannibal BBQ Ever!

Doresh posted:

(Though this does give me a weird idea about a possible Heartbreaker where there are only elves. And every elves is its own sub-race. The metaplot will make sure that all the popular ones are already taken.)

I had an idea vaguely in the same vein- elves being descended from beings of pure magical energy, they will naturally adapt to whatever environment they're in- if they live on the shore, they grow gills; if they live in the mountains, their skin will toughen; etc. Two consequences of this: first, rich elves can make their bodies really cool-looking or exceptionally dangerous in combat by a careful regimen of exercise, diet, and geomantic sculpting of their house. Second, poor city elves look horrible and end up with bodies perfectly adapted to the mana of a slum, tannery, or abattoir.

Zomborgon
Feb 19, 2014

I don't even want to see what happens if you gain CHIM outside of a pre-coded system.

Nessus posted:

Please, it would be a Geigax counter.


And if you need to detect horror-warped erotic imagery, it's a Giger counter.

Doresh
Jan 7, 2015

Ratoslov posted:

I had an idea vaguely in the same vein- elves being descended from beings of pure magical energy, they will naturally adapt to whatever environment they're in- if they live on the shore, they grow gills; if they live in the mountains, their skin will toughen; etc. Two consequences of this: first, rich elves can make their bodies really cool-looking or exceptionally dangerous in combat by a careful regimen of exercise, diet, and geomantic sculpting of their house. Second, poor city elves look horrible and end up with bodies perfectly adapted to the mana of a slum, tannery, or abattoir.

This sounds like the perfect settinf for elfpunk. Have Dirt Farmer Elf and Hobo Elfe rebel against the system that made them who they are.

Zomborgon posted:

And if you need to detect horror-warped erotic imagery, it's a Giger counter.

Not to mentin the Gainax counter for when the anime overtones go way overboard.

Jeb Bush 2012
Apr 4, 2007

A mathematician, like a painter or poet, is a maker of patterns. If his patterns are more permanent than theirs, it is because they are made with ideas.

PurpleXVI posted:

Hence why Drow are stupid and hamfisted, but not necessarily racist by design. The fact that some weirdo nazi fucks see something racist in them is an entirely different matter. They'd probably see a call to power for proud aryans in a box of cornflakes.

dude this is not hard to understand

"black hats = evil" -> probably not racist!

"black skin = evil" -> totally loving racist!

BinaryDoubts
Jun 6, 2013

Looking at it now, it really is disgusting. The flesh is transparent. From the start, I had no idea if it would even make a clapping sound. So I diligently reproduced everything about human hands, the bones, joints, and muscles, and then made them slap each other pretty hard.
For those as enchanted with Spellbound Kingdoms as I am, sounds like there's going to be a Kickstarter for a second sourcebook.

Frank Brunner posted:

The kickstarter for the new book will be up very soon! In the meantime, feast on these tantalizing morsels from Book Two.

Two words: Poet. Bard. That's right, a new class: a swashbuckling, witty rake who lives for tragedy, comedy, beauty, and above all, love. What could be more Spellbound Kingdoms than that?

There are also 9 new sub-classes, virtually entirely new classes themselves, one for each of the main classes. The Trader gets the Spell Smuggler sub-class. Rogues get the Pirate; Fixers get the Angel; Engineers get the Zeppelin Deck King. Like Fixers, Chosen Ones get something that was mentioned as a legend in the first book (see if you can find it!).

Also: more magic, raptor hordes, new combat styles and more. Honestly, I'd rather kickstart a revamped main book than an extra sourcebook, but hey - more Spellbound Kingdoms is a good thing.

Obligatum VII
May 5, 2014

Haunting you until no 8 arrives.

unseenlibrarian posted:

Honestly I think Spider-gods get a bad rap so the next D&D campaign I run the Spider god will be the Lawful Good patron of a nation of Paladins (Who honor him because a spider once saved the paladin-king's heir from traitors by spinning a web over the door of the room he was hiding in, thus making the villains looking for him not bother to look in there, thinking it long-abandoned.)

I agree, spiders are terribly maligned in fantasy and fiction in general. No one ever decides to focus on the whole creative and crafting aspects.

Also, jumping spiders are great and an incredibly easy reskin of thri-keen.

Night10194
Feb 13, 2012

We'll start,
like many good things,
with a bear.

Admittedly part of that is because arachnophobia is a fairly common fear.

JackMann
Aug 11, 2010

Secure. Contain. Protect.
Fallen Rib

Night10194 posted:

Admittedly part of that is because arachnophobia is a fairly common fear.

But only in predominantly European societies. It's relatively rare in other cultures.

Terrible Opinions
Oct 18, 2013



Kurieg posted:

That is explicitly how Elves work in Golarion..... with the added caveat that if they turn evil their skin turns black to match their soul.
As dumb as the whole "evil elves spontaneously turn into drow" thing is "their skin turns black to match their soul" is completely untrue. Golarion drow are purple because Paizo identified exactly one reason why drow were kinda bad writing and none of the others.

Simian_Prime
Nov 6, 2011

When they passed out body parts in the comics today, I got Cathy's nose and Dick Tracy's private parts.

Obligatum VII posted:

I agree, spiders are terribly maligned in fantasy and fiction in general. No one ever decides to focus on the whole creative and crafting aspects.

Also, jumping spiders are great and an incredibly easy reskin of thri-keen.

Snakes, too. How many evil snake cults do you see in Sword & Sorcery?

In my last D&D game, I subverted it by having a cult of benevolent yuan-ti who worship a Neutral Good snake god of healing and knowledge, a bit of Quetzalcoatl mixed with the serpent imagery of Aescalpius.

Next time I'm going to introduce an evil cult that worships something like pandas, or the slow loris.

Waffleman_
Jan 20, 2011


I don't wanna I don't wanna I don't wanna I don't wanna!!!

Stay tuned this weekend for the next part of Slayers d20 where we explore such classes as

-Rogue with friends
-Keeper of secrets
-A princess
-Chun-Li
-A dude with a gun
-Punch paladin

I am also not entirely sure how to do the two chapters after classes, because they are simply lists of altered and new skills and feats and, well, I can't make that interesting.

Waffleman_ fucked around with this message at 03:37 on Dec 3, 2016

drunkencarp
Feb 14, 2012

Kavak posted:

Mulhorand, Unther, and I think Chessenta were artifacts of 1st Edition Forgotten Realms, which were literally realms that Earth had forgotten how to get to (Except for Elminster's bestest drinking buddy Ed Greenwood), hence the abducted ancient cultures. I guess that was more acceptable in the late '80's.

The worst part is that southern Faerun got blown the gently caress up because -nobody was doing anything with it!- So they decided to turn the area upside down and put some interesting and more dynamic stuff there, which 5th Edition reversed for the purpose of...more faffing about the Sword Coast, got it.

Serious in the sense that I do not know the answer question: I have gleaned that the 5e Realms had the new continent Aber that magically appeared magically go away again, and all the floating sky-islands fell back to earth, and I assume the spellplague just petered out, but what happened to the Texas-sized chasm and the changed sea level (Chult being island instead of peninsula, etc) and some countries being gone? Did Elminster wave his magic wand and all the new-to-4e nations were transmogrified into their 3e antecedents?

Rand Brittain
Mar 25, 2013

"Go on until you're stopped."

drunkencarp posted:

Serious in the sense that I do not know the answer question: I have gleaned that the 5e Realms had the new continent Aber that magically appeared magically go away again, and all the floating sky-islands fell back to earth, and I assume the spellplague just petered out, but what happened to the Texas-sized chasm and the changed sea level (Chult being island instead of peninsula, etc) and some countries being gone? Did Elminster wave his magic wand and all the new-to-4e nations were transmogrified into their 3e antecedents?

When last I checked, "everything went back to how it was in 3e" was a fair summary, although I haven't paid huge attention.

Elfface
Nov 14, 2010

Da-na-na-na-na-na-na
IRON JONAH

Simian_Prime posted:

Snakes, too. How many evil snake cults do you see in Sword & Sorcery?

In my last D&D game, I subverted it by having a cult of benevolent yuan-ti who worship a Neutral Good snake god of healing and knowledge, a bit of Quetzalcoatl mixed with the serpent imagery of Aescalpius.

Next time I'm going to introduce an evil cult that worships something like pandas, or the slow loris.

They worship nature's silent assasin - cats.

Robindaybird
Aug 21, 2007

Neat. Sweet. Petite.

I love the idea of making a creator overgoddess a Spider - like how the spider in the Last Unicorn was convinced she was weaving worlds and galaxies within her web (and the art of weaving/sewing is semi-sacred in that society)

Wapole Languray
Jul 4, 2012

Say Hello to Glorantha:



Arachne Solara

ZeroCount
Aug 12, 2013


Evil Mastermind posted:

This is one of the things that bugs me the most about what D&D (or at least Basic-era D&D) used to be like and what it is now.

Like, way back in Basic and 1e there were crashed spaceships and gnomish power armor and all kinds of goofy, cool things all over the place. Now it's just Forgotten Realms 24/7 and it's stuck in a kind of stasis because heaven forefend it's no longer what it was like when I was 12.

yeah say what you will about pathfinder (it sucks) but it's kept closer to that early spirit than 5e has. I like being able to crack open a Bestiary and see rules for goblins, alien robots, literally cthulhu and a ghost ship made of skeletons with a giant spectral energy cannon side by side

JackMann
Aug 11, 2010

Secure. Contain. Protect.
Fallen Rib
New Sgt Nerd post up. I'm open for topics for more columns.

Ultiville
Jan 14, 2005

The law protects no one unless it binds everyone, binds no one unless it protects everyone.

Kavak posted:

That's like...taking two steps forward, then running back the way you came screaming.

I mean, we are talking about Pathfinder.

Tasoth
Dec 13, 2011

Robindaybird posted:

I love the idea of making a creator overgoddess a Spider - like how the spider in the Last Unicorn was convinced she was weaving worlds and galaxies within her web (and the art of weaving/sewing is semi-sacred in that society)

Pretty sure Ehdrigor has spiders play a major part in creation and maintaining it. I also think giant fuzzy spiders are domesticated in setting. I need to read more of it to be certain.

Zomborgon
Feb 19, 2014

I don't even want to see what happens if you gain CHIM outside of a pre-coded system.

Exalted's Pattern Spiders tend to the Loom of Fate that controls all destiny, but do tend to bite if you screw up that destiny as a Sidereal.

megane
Jun 20, 2008



Really, spiders are great paladin mascots. Patient, diligent, observant, hunting flies and vermin. Gonna play a paladin who wears crazy spikey black armor with spider designs all over it, and constantly has to explain to people that no, really, they're very misunderstood animals, here, have a pamphlet

PurpleXVI
Oct 30, 2011

Spewing insults, pissing off all your neighbors, betraying your allies, backing out of treaties and accords, and generally screwing over the global environment?
ALL PART OF MY BRILLIANT STRATEGY!

megane posted:

Really, spiders are great paladin mascots. Patient, diligent, observant, hunting flies and vermin. Gonna play a paladin who wears crazy spikey black armor with spider designs all over it, and constantly has to explain to people that no, really, they're very misunderstood animals, here, have a pamphlet

A web works decently as a metaphor for moral/ethical behavior, too. Lots of paths, many intersections with different choices, but on either side of each narrow path of virtue, there's a pit of vice.

Nessus
Dec 22, 2003

After a Speaker vote, you may be entitled to a valuable coupon or voucher!



megane posted:

Really, spiders are great paladin mascots. Patient, diligent, observant, hunting flies and vermin. Gonna play a paladin who wears crazy spikey black armor with spider designs all over it, and constantly has to explain to people that no, really, they're very misunderstood animals, here, have a pamphlet
And obviously you'd be allowed to use poison.

Mr. Maltose
Feb 16, 2011

The Guffless Girlverine
Robert The Bruce and the Spider is yet another thing to point to for cool knights and their arachnid inspiration.

Count Chocula
Dec 25, 2011

WE HAVE TO CONTROL OUR ENVIRONMENT
IF YOU SEE ME POSTING OUTSIDE OF THE AUSPOL THREAD PLEASE TELL ME THAT I'M MISSED AND TO START POSTING AGAIN
If you want to play a spider-themed hero, there was a pretty decent Marvel Superheroes game recently.

The closest thing to an IRL RPG quest is the Australian government paying people $50 for funnel web venom, so people go out and catch these deadly spiders for money.

Cythereal
Nov 8, 2009

I love the potoo,
and the potoo loves you.

PurpleXVI posted:

A web works decently as a metaphor for moral/ethical behavior, too. Lots of paths, many intersections with different choices, but on either side of each narrow path of virtue, there's a pit of vice.

There's at least one fantasy book out there where the dwarves have a great love of spiders and have bred them as their standard battle mounts. Who expects a cavalry charge coming down from the ceiling, after all?

Doresh
Jan 7, 2015

Night10194 posted:

Admittedly part of that is because arachnophobia is a fairly common fear.

Though considering that the average D&D dirt farmer has to live in constant fear of getting mauled by a flying lizard that can cast spells and set you on fire, a floating ball with way too many eyes (each of which can kill you in a whole different way), a weird rage bear with a bird head, or an unholy combination of a mole and a friggin' shark, arachnophobia strikes me as a First Fantasy World Problem.

The best part is that thanks to all the clerics and other divine spellcasters around, spider venom is essentially meaningless. Unless you're in an old edition world where each and every type of venom or poison is Save-or-Die.

megane posted:

Really, spiders are great paladin mascots. Patient, diligent, observant, hunting flies and vermin. Gonna play a paladin who wears crazy spikey black armor with spider designs all over it, and constantly has to explain to people that no, really, they're very misunderstood animals, here, have a pamphlet

I wonder if you can make enchanted chainmail out of spiderwebs. Is probably some Drow prestige class.

drunkencarp posted:

Serious in the sense that I do not know the answer question: I have gleaned that the 5e Realms had the new continent Aber that magically appeared magically go away again, and all the floating sky-islands fell back to earth, and I assume the spellplague just petered out, but what happened to the Texas-sized chasm and the changed sea level (Chult being island instead of peninsula, etc) and some countries being gone? Did Elminster wave his magic wand and all the new-to-4e nations were transmogrified into their 3e antecedents?

This is really puzzling to me. Are the people so adamant about keeping the Realms in eteranl stasis actually running campaigns in there? Is everyone in the group on board with never being allowed to change the official canon? What's going on there?

If the Realms weren't so shackled to their GMPCs disguised as metaplot dudes, they could really open up the whole place by offering different eras and what ifs.

(I also love how they didn't just turn back the 4e "sins" via time travel.)

Cythereal posted:

There's at least one fantasy book out there where the dwarves have a great love of spiders and have bred them as their standard battle mounts. Who expects a cavalry charge coming down from the ceiling, after all?

Spiders are really the best mounts for dungeon-crawling murder hobos.

Doresh fucked around with this message at 14:33 on Dec 3, 2016

Alien Rope Burn
Dec 5, 2004

I wanna be a saikyo HERO!

Jeb Bush 2012 posted:

dude this is not hard to understand

"black hats = evil" -> probably not racist!

"black skin = evil" -> totally loving racist!

I think the real problem is that we just don't have nuance in our terms of racism. Somebody who does something racially insensitive or ignorant and literal racial supremacists get the same term, and that's what the argument boils down to. I don't think anybody's arguing that equating dark skin with evil qualities is problematic, but just on the original intent of such.

Of course, there are other issues with drow as well, like S&M = eeevil, the demonized depiction of matriarchy, ritualized rape, female sexuality as an aberration - there's a lot of garbage in the concept as it is. The general idea of "underground elves" is far from unsalvageable but the traditional depiction is pretty damned awful.

Obligatum VII
May 5, 2014

Haunting you until no 8 arrives.

Zomborgon posted:

Exalted's Pattern Spiders tend to the Loom of Fate that controls all destiny, but do tend to bite if you screw up that destiny as a Sidereal.

Those poor pattern spiders are the hardest workers in Creation and they get no respect. Every bitten Sidereal has it coming.

Doresh
Jan 7, 2015

Alien Rope Burn posted:

f course, there are other issues with drow as well, like S&M = eeevil, the demonized depiction of matriarchy, ritualized rape, female sexuality as an aberration - there's a lot of garbage in the concept as it is. The general idea of "underground elves" is far from unsalvageable but the traditional depiction is pretty damned awful.

And what do eeevil S&M guys usually wear? Leather.

I tell you, the hunting god is the real villain.

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Kurieg
Jul 19, 2012

RIP Lutri: 5/19/20-4/2/20
:blizz::gamefreak:

drunkencarp posted:

Serious in the sense that I do not know the answer question: I have gleaned that the 5e Realms had the new continent Aber that magically appeared magically go away again, and all the floating sky-islands fell back to earth, and I assume the spellplague just petered out, but what happened to the Texas-sized chasm and the changed sea level (Chult being island instead of peninsula, etc) and some countries being gone? Did Elminster wave his magic wand and all the new-to-4e nations were transmogrified into their 3e antecedents?

Specifically it was Ao who fixed it since he was sort of the one who allowed the spellplague to happen in the first place.

Doresh posted:

This is really puzzling to me. Are the people so adamant about keeping the Realms in eteranl stasis actually running campaigns in there? Is everyone in the group on board with never being allowed to change the official canon? What's going on there?

If the Realms weren't so shackled to their GMPCs disguised as metaplot dudes, they could really open up the whole place by offering different eras and what ifs.

There's a strong contingent of FR fans who absolutely abhor anything unless it has Greenvatore's fingerprints on it, and unlike 3rd edition, Greenwood had almost nothing to do with the 4e FR guide. It doesn't help that the rules of the realms were codified to such a spectacular degree that it was mostly incompatible with the Realms as a whole unless they did the massive shakeup that they did.

The fact that their answer to "Well then how should have they adapted FR to 4e" is "4e should have been designed so that FR didn't have to change" just makes the whole thing all the stupider.

Where as Eberron 4e was just "Huh? Yeah sure whatever." and Dark Sun 4e went "Just reflavor it so you're hurling around psychic bolts rather than arcane bolts who gives a poo poo."

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