Beet Wagon posted:

I am not intimately familiar with the Harry Potter universe, but I've been informed that he is in fact a Ravenclaw

Wrecked Angle posted:

At that point, you realise you've been loving had and no mistake.

Mirificus posted:

Beet Wagon posted:

All that talk of death-by-spacesim man and his novel made me realize I think I still have a link to the full version of The Happy Alaskan's horrible sci-fi movie... I never did watch it.

e: forgot some words

TheAgent posted:

omg I have to read this guys novel

Foo Diddley posted:

The possibility that Star Citizen might actually be bad is literally unthinkable to these people

Mirificus posted:

Hillary Clintons Thong posted:

has there been any new ships announced in the past.......................................two weeks???

MeLKoR posted:

"I don't read a lot but when I do it's Animorphs."

- Nobel Literature Prize 2026

Mirificus posted:

Mirificus posted:

Mirificus posted:

quote:

...and that the metaphorical sequel equivalent would be free of the corruption of those who made everyone miserable in the money-makers that required conflict to be interesting.

Mirificus posted:

Oh great, more Stimpire lore posted:

In our setting of Banshee, there were ten stimpires which were united under ten galaxies. They were all allied as the United Galactic Stimpires, until one day, when the Sixth Stimpire noticed that the Fourth Stimpire was adopting laws that were against the regulations of the UGS. High-ranking military servants noticed that at the end of their favourite sporting event, the losing side was being rounded up, with all 11 players wailing in despair. They then noticed that the center of the stadium was now revealing a large, cylindrical container with a sharp floor. The floor was in the shape of a grinding grater, except there were several discs each turning very slowly, one being further out than the other from its center point. They were then pushed in by very powerful cybernetic stadium security officers, and the container was sealed up. It was then, to the horror of the colonels, that there was blood being smeared against the glass of the machine. They both left for their transit van, only to be stopped by Fourth Stimpire Enforcers. They demanded that they get past, only to be told that the Fourth Stimpire is a sovereign, socialist empire which listens to its people. They were then being transported to a greyscale soundproof room, with very sharp machinery decorating the room from all over.

They were never heard from or even seen again. The only traces of them were blood trails located in the very room. The Fourth Stimpire had announced to the UGC that it was now allied with Vanduul forces, and any attack will result in immediate deplanetation, much to the dismay of the UGC. The Seventh Stimpire warned them that the other nine would revoke their UGC rights if they carried on, but they did far from what they were demanding. The Fourth Stimpire didn't massacre the First Landmass population, but left them in the worst pain known in the universe for eternity. The drug was capable of keeping the victim the same age as they were, halting growth and aging, whilst keeping them alive forever. All growth cells are killed and the drug repeats any respiratory cycles.

The other nine declared war on the Fourth Stimpire, which ultimately led to the demise of the First, Eighth, Ninth, Fifth and Tenth Stimpires. They were deplanetated, all of their planets were razed and reduced to nothing but an asteroid field, a reminder of the power of the Fourth Stimpire, and a historical monument, and a book, a tale of what was once a mighty, populated planet.

The Seventh Stimpire ordered their planets to be relocated out of the range of the Fourth Stimpire Satelitation Force through the use of planet movement technology. As the Seventh Stimpire was completely artificial, the planets were able to be relocated to a faraway place in the universe. The Second Stimpire however were unable to relocate, as they were natural to the full extent and had a ban on fighting on any kind. Weapons were not permitted in the territory, and anyone caught fighting would be exiled permanently from the planet. They were the Second Law, as the rest of the universe know them by.

The other stimpires were unable to relocate aswell, and ordered their planets to be mined until they were fresh clean, and turn artificial, so they could be moved away from threat. They did not want to meet the same fate as their brethren. As a result, the war that remains going on to this day, is now a fierce, stalemate battle. The United Earth Empire eventually joined to help them against the Fourth Stimpire in 2754, 100 years after the war began, but this would also lead to Vanduul interception, as the Vanduul were warmongering to the point of following the UEE's every move and intercepting it.

Endnote.

Mirificus posted:

[/url]

quote:

NETWORK
Network Engineering is getting to the end of stripping out the old parts of CryLobby/CryMatchmaking

More of the Gamerules work will need to be completed for in order to finish the Network side properly

ETA is 14th December (delayed from 9th December)

cool new Polack jokes posted:

MeLKoR posted:

What I take from this is that the 4th Stimpire has achieved human immortality. No wonder Big Pharma is running a smear campaign against them.

TheLightPurges posted:

Derek Smart hacked my manuscipt and replaced every instance of the word Rape with "Get a refund". My novel is now 50 pages longer as a result.

TheLightPurges posted:

Derek Smart hacked my manuscipt and replaced every instance of the word Rape with "Get a refund". My novel is now 50 pages longer as a result.

MeLKoR posted:

"I don't read a lot but when I do it's Animorphs."

- Nobel Literature Prize 2026

Chapter 1: The Horror He Saw posted:

Re-written in non-script form to follow guidelines. Sorry, I thought I read the guidelines pretty thoroughly, but I must have missed it.

A small fuzzy humanoid creature with tiny horns and buck-teeth approaches a bar in an orbital space station. A sign on the front of the establishment dubs it the- Ow! Let go of my text!

"Shoo! Go away! Stupid narrative sentences." I said, chucking the narrative in a trash bin as I began my monologue. Then I turned to look at the building in front of me.

The Wretched Hive. A Maaccaedamian cesspool of scum and villainy. The Maaccaede aren't so bad... It's their customers that are the most feared and dangerous beings in the galaxy. I didn't have anything better to do as my ship got fixed though, so I went inside to get a drink.

I hopped up onto the stool and placed an order. "One cup of Rainbow Spice Gargleblaster, bartender!"

"One Rainbow Spice Gargleblaster, coming up..." the big blue insectoid replied. "You sure you can drink that?"

"Oh, yeah. Sure. Always look down on the little guy. Of course I can drink it!"

Seriously, I can't stand how every other race thinks of my species. Ridiculous.

"If you say so..." He then got to work on mixing the ingredients.

As the bartender turned away, some brute walked in with a couple of thugs. Checked the Sporepedia, says the guys name is Killo. Apparently he's an ace captain who shot down a thousand ships in 5 minutes during the ill-fated Battle of Globox. The Skylien lost their home-world because he was with the invaders. A bad temper and a mean streak a parsec wide.

"Hey, runt! You're in my seat." he said with a nasty grin.

"Oh. My mistake." I then quickly got off. I know when to back off, and besides I had a better way of dealing with this sporebag.

I hopped off and watched with a smirk as the Volt-Bolt I attached to the cheap metal stool sent him off to dreamland, first class. Without a leader, the two thugs just dragged him out and retreated. That was when I heard the Muphilox and Rhuingon at the table in the corner talking...

"Apparently they want us to track down a captain named Twyster. But we can't find any record of his species. Whatever the Gabear are, their info has been made privileged information by the Ptok Empire. Bludeye isn't exactly one to listen to a bounty hunter's bribes or blackmail either. He said if we leak one word about his secrets he'll have US captured and executed." The duck-billed bounty hunter gulped.

His buddy, a being with two big, sharp horns on his nose, wasn't shaken. "So what's the plan?"

"I don't have one yet." the Muphilox said. "We need second-hand information, but all I can get is myths. They're shrouded in mystery. If we could just find one person who knows the truth-"

"Truth?" I said to them, approaching the table.

"Got something to say?" the Rhuingon snorted.

"I couldn't help but overhear you're looking for a Gabear." I said with a poker face. "Here's some friendly advice. Don't. You don't want to meet a Gabear."

"Oh yeah? Why not?" The Muphilox was more determined than he looked.

"The reason the Ptok keep it secret is because they created those monstrosities. The same way they created the Gestingi or the Pigwig, but much much worse."

"Oh really? How bad are they?" the Rhuingon said, suspicious.

"Remember the Grox expansion last month? How they intruded on that abandoned Ptok settlement in the Dubar system?" I asked, pulling up the recordings of shouting Grox that was all the data available on the event.

The Muphilox looked worried now. "Yeah, there was a distress signal. The probes only found a run-down biogen facility and a bunch of Grox implants... covered in blood." He shuddered.

"Or how about the Battle of Ton-Kordu?" As soon as I said it, Galactic News Network headlines plastered the holograms emitted by my computer watches.

Suddenly the Rhuingon was worried too. "Where the leader of the Aettis went insane and turned himself in?"

"Yup. The Ptok created a secret super-bioweapon. I've seen one. The Gabear? They're horrible. Tentacles with razor-sharp toothed suction cups. A tongue that has a mouth and spits acid that can burn through megacyte. Claws that can rip a Tchezepuph in half. I saw one, and I barely got away with my life."

The Rhuingon squinted his eyes, thinking. "You don't look like you could handle one of those things."

"Oh yeah? That's now. Before I saw that Gabear, I looked like... this!" I brought up a hologram of me with a buff body, pointed teeth and long serrated claws.

The Muphilox's jaw dropped. "Holy Spode! You took a beating!"

"Still thinking of going after a Gabear?" I asked.

The Muphilox had already pulled up his comm-link. "Hey, Frakkto? You can keep your money. I quit! Come on, let's blow this joint."

They headed out the door to their spaceship and took off in a hurry. I sat down on the stool and took a sip of the Rainbow Spice. "Ah. Good stuff."

The bartender was a bit curious. "So you actually saw a Gabear and lived?"

"Yup. I see one every day in the mirror!" I handed him a crisp 20 Sporebuck bill and headed for the door. "Keep the change, barkeep..."

Disclaimer:

The Gabear, the Maaccaede and the Pigwig were created by me. The Ptok, Captain Bludeye and the Gestingi were created by my brother, known here as "Mr.86", and the creation file(s) have been uploaded to my Spore account.

The Skylien were created by xenkai. The Muphilox were created by Grizwall. The Rhuingon were created by Fpjker9610. The Aettis were created by TeLLeK.

Spore and the Grox are copyright EA and Maxis.