Star Citizen: Death of a Space Thread?

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > The Goodmine > Star Citizen: Death of a Space Thread?

Harold Stassen: Jan 24, 2016

Daztek posted:

Wait a minute. There's a ship with 1000 crew? Out of those thousand people, how many do you think want to be the one guy flying it? How many people does it need to fly at a minimum? How much real money are you spending to turn into fake money to hire fake people to fly your fake ship?

Jesus Christ, just when I think I've heard it all!

# ? Dec 16, 2016 17:24

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Apr 16, 2024 18:37

kikkelivelho: Aug 27, 2015

Samizdata posted:

<stares at Ben playing Galaga during the stream>

Yeahhhhhhhh, riiiiiiiiiiight...

Under normal circumstances I'd utterly destroy you with cold hard facts but the holiday festivities have tempered my fiery spirit so you're safe for now.

# ? Dec 16, 2016 17:25

DapperDon: Sep 7, 2016

kikkelivelho posted:

You will regret your words when they release Squadron 42 Prologue live on stream.

This says it all.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ySF5gbp9q8g

# ? Dec 16, 2016 17:25

Beet Wagon: Oct 19, 2015

D_Smart posted:

They won't care, everyone is my alt.

Derek is TOAST confirmed! :eyepop:

# ? Dec 16, 2016 17:25

Samizdata: May 14, 2007

kikkelivelho posted:

Under normal circumstances I'd utterly destroy you with cold hard facts but the holiday festivities have tempered my fiery spirit so you're safe for now.

Right.

Just like my eternal crusade over on Reddit has utterly demolished me with non-facts.

# ? Dec 16, 2016 17:28

DapperDon: Sep 7, 2016

D_Smart posted:

They won't care, everyone is my alt.

I get accused of being Derek Smart more times in a given day across multiple sites that it has become goddamned funny enough that I just may have to get a Battlecruiser 3000 AD shirt made so I can update all of my social media accounts with it on as long as Derek promises not to sue me over it.

# ? Dec 16, 2016 17:30

bird with big dick: Oct 21, 2015

SelenicMartian posted:

1. ! raffle
2. ! raffle
3. ! raffle
4. <message deleted>
5. ! raffle

Roll roll roll your build
loving up the stream
Chris is high, Ben is fat
Sandi lives the dream

# ? Dec 16, 2016 17:31

DapperDon: Sep 7, 2016

Samizdata posted:

Right. Just like my eternal crusade over on Reddit has utterly demolished me with non-facts.

Nah, you're pretty loving funny over there when we start sperg herding.

# ? Dec 16, 2016 17:32

D_Smart: May 11, 2010; by FactsAreUseless; College Slice

ManofManyAliases posted:

1, They're still a couple big blockers that are not ready for prime-time. There's some sort of new system in place that checks obstructions in real-time and relays that to the radar. However, this is a glitch that is bogging-down some clients. I don't expect a live release (or PTU) tomorrow.
2. Ship sale with a possible new concept.
3. Clip from SQ42 demo that was previously unseen.
4. Jared WILL be there.
5. Some technical speak involving the new coding (such as obstruction/radar link) and new flight models that will be released with 2.6

Lame predictions you have there. Playing it safe eh?

My 5 predictions:

croberts will recite, then write a cringe-worthy missive asking for money, making excuses, making new promises for 2017
2.6 will be delayed; and if they are smart, pushed into 2017. the schedule will be updated to reflect this
they will play 2.6 Star Marine on local LAN because doing it across the internet - the environment it was designed for - is shite
no meaningful SQ42 reveal - of any kind
no meaningful 3.0 reveal - of any kind

BOMBSHELL BONUS: They won't mention anything about i) no money to finish the game ii) on-going Federal investigations, iii) the fact that quite a few key team members have either recently left or have put in their notice (Dec being their exit month) to leave, iv) they are going to be down-sizing the studios in 2017

ps:

As of Dec 16th, with 2.6 still MIA and 3.0 still a pipe dream, these are the major releases this year since 2.0

v2.0 (patch notes), Dec 12, 2015
v2.1.0, Jan 15, 2016
v2.2.0, March 4, 2016
v2.3.0, March 26, 2016
v2.4.0, June 9, 2016
v2.5.0, Aug 25, 2016

And during this period, these are ALL the Star Marine updates. Yet, here we are, over a year later, and they still can't get it working.

AUGUST 22ND 2015
AUGUST 29TH 2015
SEPTEMBER 19TH 2015
OCTOBER 23RD 2015

D_Smart fucked around with this message at 17:39 on Dec 16, 2016

# ? Dec 16, 2016 17:32

Samizdata: May 14, 2007

D_Smart posted:

They won't care, everyone is my alt.

I suppose you should feel all :smug:

up in here, since that is at least two sites and three or more users that are convinced I am you. You have those derpatrons seriously worried.

# ? Dec 16, 2016 17:32

bird with big dick: Oct 21, 2015

cool new Polack jokes posted:

Wait a minute. There's a ship with 1000 crew? Out of those thousand people, how many do you think want to be the one guy flying it? How many people does it need to fly at a minimum? How much real money are you spending to turn into fake money to hire fake people to fly your fake ship?

Jesus Christ, just when I think I've heard it all!

Each engine and thruster takes one shitizen to control it. So if the captain says "all ahead full" 12 shitizens all throttle up the one engine they control.

# ? Dec 16, 2016 17:36

Samizdata: May 14, 2007

Also, I am going to play a REAL failure game in a bit that actually came out. I found my Hellgate London install disc. Yes, I WAS a monthly subscriber in a previous life, but NOT lifetime.

# ? Dec 16, 2016 17:37

bird with big dick: Oct 21, 2015

scrubs season six posted:

Each engine and thruster takes one shitizen to control it. So if the captain says "all ahead full" 12 shitizens all throttle up the one engine they control.

This replaced the previous system where if the captain said all ahead full, 12 shitizens started furiously shoveling impulse fuel into the space boilers on the engine they controlled (your mouse controls the hands which control the shovel which controls the engine).

# ? Dec 16, 2016 17:41

ZenMaster: Jan 24, 2006; I Saved PC Gaming

Samizdata posted:

Also, I am going to play a REAL failure game in a bit that actually came out. I found my Hellgate London install disc. Yes, I WAS a monthly subscriber in a previous life, but NOT lifetime.

Hellgate was fun, albeit lacking content, but I played through with two different characters and had fun both times.

# ? Dec 16, 2016 17:45

bird with big dick: Oct 21, 2015

That's only for going straight though. Maneuvering thrusters are controlled individually by a golf swing mini game. Miss the direction and intensity badly enough and instead of gently docking with the space station your ship will pirouette spastically and smear all the nearby parked Connies all over the landing pad.

# ? Dec 16, 2016 17:45

Lladre: Jun 28, 2011; Soiled Meat

cool new Polack jokes posted:

Wait a minute. There's a ship with 1000 crew? Out of those thousand people, how many do you think want to be the one guy flying it? How many people does it need to fly at a minimum? How much real money are you spending to turn into fake money to hire fake people to fly your fake ship?

Jesus Christ, just when I think I've heard it all!

Most jobs on a major vessel are pretty boring and menial. No one wants to play "supply guy number 12." However Chief dental officer is something I can get behind.

For example typical carrier job list:

code:

A. CARRIER ORGANIZATION 

B. Commanding Officer 

C. Typical Carrier Departments 
1. Administrative Department 
2. Air Department 
3. Aircraft Intermediate Maintenance Department (AIMD) 
4. Chaplain Department 
5. Communications Department 
6. Deck Department 
7. Dental Department 
8. Engineering Department 
9. Maintenance Management Department 
10. Medical Department 
11. Navigation Department 
12. Operations Department 
13. Safety Department 
14. Supply Department 
15. Training Department 
16. Weapons Department 

D. Air Wing Organization 
1. Air Wing Commander (CAG) 
2. Deputy Air Wing Commander 
3. Operations Officer 
4. USW Operations Officer 
5. Air Intelligence Officer 
6. Maintenance Officer 
7. Weapons Officer 
8. Landing Signal Officers (2) 
9. Flight Surgeon 
10. Carrier Air Wing Intelligence Team

# ? Dec 16, 2016 17:50

Mr.PayDay: Jan 2, 2004; life is short - play hard

who else is HYPED for some more SQ42.avi and isolated demos that you can never download and are just built to get more pledges.

Just watch this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z-3YBuFI3iI
And listen to Chris' "vision" again.
24:13 "3.0...big END OF THE YEAR RELEASE"...lmao
"thats our goal!" :classiclol:

...what goal? Proving incompetence, yeah CIG, thats what you have done like 4 years now.
And by end of the year he obviously meant 2018 I guess.

And after this Gamescom Stream, look tonight what they have "procuded" 12 weeks later lol.

Please pledge more, folks, and we KNOW the Citizens will be bought again by all that "progress" (2.6g roflmao) I expect 145 Million Dollar overall funding by 2016/12/31

please don't disappoint and embarass me, Commandos, buy more concept jpeg stuff, this threads needs content funding, more like fudding, for another year. :allears:

Mr.PayDay fucked around with this message at 17:56 on Dec 16, 2016

# ? Dec 16, 2016 17:54

bird with big dick: Oct 21, 2015

ALL ABOARD THE HYPE TRAIN.

# ? Dec 16, 2016 17:56

peter gabriel: Nov 8, 2011; Hello Commandos

scrubs season six posted:

ALL ABOARD THE HYPE TRAIN.

# ? Dec 16, 2016 17:59

fuctifino: Jun 11, 2001

T minus 2 hours until they announce a delay to the livestream.

# ? Dec 16, 2016 18:00

D_Smart: May 11, 2010; by FactsAreUseless; College Slice

Look! the writer points to the dev's LinkedIn profile. Doxxed!!

http://www.recode.net/2016/12/14/13957478/magic-leap-andy-fouche-andy-rubin

http://www.gamesindustry.biz/articles/2016-12-15-magic-leap-pr-chief-follows-cmo-to-the-exit-door

# ? Dec 16, 2016 18:03

Mirificus: Oct 29, 2004; Kings need not raise their voices to be heard

# ? Dec 16, 2016 18:03

necroid: May 14, 2009

so it's today? in a few hours?

# ? Dec 16, 2016 18:09

Mirificus: Oct 29, 2004; Kings need not raise their voices to be heard

# ? Dec 16, 2016 18:12

Blackmjolnir: Mar 30, 2010; Bitchesss

The same thing will happen that happens every time they do a livestream. They'll show a staged tech demo that shitizens will lose their minds over and fawn about how revolutionary CIG is and how they finally hit their stride, CIG will make a shitton of money and everything they showed will never see the light of day ever again. They've got fleecing nerds down to a science.

# ? Dec 16, 2016 18:22

it dont matter: Aug 29, 2008

Mirificus posted:

A million people have bought it already (no they haven't) so it's going to sell loads!

This motherfucker dumb. He dumb as hell.

# ? Dec 16, 2016 18:23

spacetoaster: Feb 10, 2014

necroid posted:

so it's today? in a few hours?

Yes.

http://www.timeanddate.com/countdow...am&csz=1/H3PVjD

# ? Dec 16, 2016 18:24

Daztek: Jun 2, 2006

Astroneer is really cute, guys

# ? Dec 16, 2016 18:29

Fat Shat Sings: Jan 24, 2016

1) Chris Roberts won't be there or mentioned. If he is mentioned it will be "Finishing up Squadron 42" or something.
2) Concept sale + New ship skins (for the concepts) featured heavily, warbond versions. Probably make one limited release since they can't re-release the limited release ships again so soon.
3) Another Star Marine tournament from those schlubby weirdos to fill time
4) 3.0 won't be mentioned at all. 2.6 will now be the modified 2.5x flight model changes with some poo poo about how Star Marine will stay in evocati because of all the constructive and amazing bug fixing being done.
5) SQ42 cinematic trailer. Personally hoping for some Pusher footage but more likely it will be cameras panning through that Idris walkthrough they tried at Citcon and had to abandon when it crashed. Possibly a trailer designed for the general public that they still use on the backers which re-uses footage from all of their fake Demos and becomes like a "2017 Moving Forward" trailer showing all the exciting things that are happening that backers have already seen but is specifically designed to pull new marks in. Throw in some of that orchestral score they've paid millions of dollars for full symphony orchestras to make for the past two years.

If they do the smoke and mirrors right a $5m December with $500,000+ in sales today and $1,000,000+ tomorrow. It will be a waiting game again for the Squadron 42 prelude at some point next year while we begin the slow decline into backer meltdowns and funding decline over the next 2-3 months. Star Marine will be wordlessly poo poo out of evocati in the first part of January while backers like MoMA refuse to shut up about how it being in Evocati means it technically existed in 2016 so they win something, somehow.

# ? Dec 16, 2016 18:39

HKS: Jan 31, 2005

1. Some tiny little animation that is pretty cool but very dumb in the grand scheme of things - which makes citizens go wild. (Gun reload/draw from holster is my guess)

2. Multiple streamers that nobody knows playing Star Marine and pretending the game is fun.

3. A 'we're still working on SQ42' clip that shows mocap, dudes on their pcs, some art, but mostly Chris directing.

4. A lot of emphasis talking about flight model changes, probably with some powerpoint slides.

5. If there is a SQ42 trailer, it will be a teaser and it will show Ser Davos and/or Oldman/Hamill but in flashes as to not give away how bad the mocap is.

# ? Dec 16, 2016 18:50

trucutru: Jul 9, 2003; by Fluffdaddy

Daztek posted:

Astroneer is really cute, guys

No space cat not sale.

# ? Dec 16, 2016 18:51

ripptide: Jul 28, 2016

Sappo569 posted:

1. They will show a 'people of cig' movie , similar to what you would see after a horrific plane crash. Lots of fade cuts to the next person.

2. At least one of the shots will be Chris and or Sandi smiling and waving as they board a private jet

3. Ben is nowhere to be found

4. Sale sale sale

Almost think this is emblematic of CIG. Only deliver 4 when it was supposed to be 5. Of course, if it was CIG the first 4 would be poorly typed and crash a lot.
)

# ? Dec 16, 2016 18:51

Hav: Dec 11, 2009; Fun Shoe

peter gabriel posted:

I CAN CUT GLASS WITH THESE NIPPLES.

# ? Dec 16, 2016 18:53

HycoCam: Jul 14, 2016; You should have backed Transverse!

How much cash will CIG raise between this Friday and next? I almost feel like I should go back and edit my prediction post--the funds raise could be the tie breaker. :P

$1.45million

# ? Dec 16, 2016 18:56

HKS: Jan 31, 2005

HycoCam posted:

How much cash will CIG raise between this Friday and next? I almost feel like I should go back and edit my prediction post--the funds raise could be the tie breaker. :P

$1.45million

The funding tracker will show 3.x million, but it's all backers who are done dreaming about their old ships, swapping for a new ship to dream about.

Actual cash raised? not enough.

# ? Dec 16, 2016 18:59

Tijuana Bibliophile: Dec 30, 2008; Scratchmo

So anyone else JACKED TO THE MOTHERFUCKKNG TITS??

# ? Dec 16, 2016 19:11

Tijuana Bibliophile: Dec 30, 2008; Scratchmo

Hav posted:

I CAN CUT GLASS WITH THESE NIPPLES.

# ? Dec 16, 2016 19:11

Tijuana Bibliophile: Dec 30, 2008; Scratchmo

Here's my prediction for the motherufkcing holidays stream

# ? Dec 16, 2016 19:16

peter gabriel: Nov 8, 2011; Hello Commandos

Tijuana Bibliophile posted:

Here's my prediction for the motherufkcing holidays stream

They are holding it a wtfasoaurus's house?

# ? Dec 16, 2016 19:17

Adbot: ADBOT LOVES YOU

# ? Apr 16, 2024 18:37

Sabreseven: Feb 27, 2016

Tijuana Bibliophile posted:

So anyone else JACKED TO THE MOTHERFUCKKNG TITS??

I just want to see the stupid people buy the dodgy salesmans new formula miracle cure elixr.

And then I want to roll around the floor laughing very loudly at their constant ability to be swindled so easily.

# ? Dec 16, 2016 19:18

The Something Awful Forums > Archives > Comedy Goldmine > The Goodmine > Star Citizen: Death of a Space Thread?

«‹›6530 »