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Cheesus posted:Since becoming a parent 14 months ago, I think I've been pretty successful at it. Until this past weekend when I got sick. So... you were unsuccessful at being a parent, because you got sick, focused on other important things in your life than taking 100% perfect care of yourself (like caring for your sick kid,) and didn't cook dinner? Sounds like you're being pretty unreasonably hard on yourself. Honestly if that's your idea of "failing" I don't know what you would think about my life/parenting efforts. Maybe give yourself a break? poo poo happens. Your kid wouldn't care about having toast for dinner.
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Dec 14, 2016 15:44
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Seriously, if you're dealing with that much it might be a good idea to have your guests stay another weekend. I get they might've come from out of town or whatever and it isn't that easy, but I have zero problem using the baby as an excuse to get out of something, especially if she isn't well. (Ours actually had the just about the same exact thing you described, minus the ear infection, a couple weeks ago.)
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Dec 14, 2016 16:28
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Welcome to the plague years.
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Dec 14, 2016 16:48
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I can identify, my mommy guilt comes and goes in waves. Some days I am on top of my poo poo, all the rooms are clean, dishes are done, laundry is folded, kids aren't screaming at each other - that is the loving BEST! Some days I don't shower until noon, or the dishes stay piled up, or we're running late and the kids skip baths, or everyone is pissed and I wonder why I am such a complete failure. Most days I ride the line, balancing the most urgent stuff against stuff that simply doesn't matter. I try to get the kids outside and on an adventure every day, but some days I just plop them in front of the TV or in their rooms so I can get stuff done. Some days are nonstop activities and I misjudge their energy level and I end up with cranky overtired kids. I try to maintain the perspective that as long as I am happy, my kids are happy, my husband is happy, then I'm doing things right. If they aren't happy, and it has nothing to do with me, then I just try to make sure I do what I can to make things a little better. Life is a balance, poo poo happens, people get sick, kids have tantrums...
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Dec 15, 2016 09:53
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Probably the most helpful thing to remember as a parent is that you simply don't have as much time so you have to prioritize what you accomplish in a crisis. I don't see any fault in letting poo poo go because you and your family's health should always come first. That's what being a parent is about. Lots of stuff becomes "it can wait", including clothes or cooking or even jobs.
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Dec 15, 2016 12:57
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I have no guilt if Jasper gets a dinner of random things I find in the fridge because it's been a long day and I really don't want to cook. This tends to end up being stuff like "gogurt, hummus, baby carrots, and a wheat tortilla". Hell, the other night he got Mc Donalds for dinner because he had gymnastics right after daycare and then we had to go Christmas shopping for daddy right afterwards so he could pick up something and by the time we were getting home it was 8pm. Personal mental health is one of the most important things to being a good parent. If he eats not that great every once in a while so that I don't freak out over stress then so be it.
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Dec 15, 2016 13:46
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Cheesus posted:Since becoming a parent 14 months ago, I think I've been pretty successful at it. Until this past weekend when I got sick. You mention provider, so I assume your son is in daycare? You're really lucky that it took this long for you to get knocked out by one of the child plagues. Don't worry, you'll lose that part of your soul that feels guilt about being lazy when you're sick after a few more rounds of whatever gross virus kids like to pass around.
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Dec 17, 2016 08:02
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Had our first ER experience last night at 13 months. Had a bad fever overnight, broke during the day, then in the evening reappeared and his lips and hands were ice cold to the touch in a warm house. Urgent care redosed on tylenol, but advised we go to ER, by the time we get to ER no fever and up and about. Wheee. Tests and a chest X ray back negative, so good, but still, ugh for the whole ordeal. Amazon has a 40% off deal on some Graco poo poo today. We've gotten good use out of the portable baby prison, and the swing rocker was amazing for the first 6 months, but he quickly outgrew the thing.
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Dec 17, 2016 18:12
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Seconding that any form of a rocker for untill 6 months is an amazing godsend. We had the fisher price one (rock n play) and even the baby was sad when she didn't fit anymore. E: getting a nice rocking chair would probably go 2-3+ years instead of the rocker, though.
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Dec 17, 2016 18:41
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Rockers/swings are totally badass and incredibly useful, we used a Fisher-Price Rainforest Swing up until it was too small. Tired but won't sleep? Put in the swing Need a poo poo but can't? Put in the swing with vibration Bored? Put in the swing to laugh with the lion or punch the elephant Mummy/daddy need to do chores? Put in the swing in front of the TV for a few minutes
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Dec 17, 2016 21:17
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Anybody got any tips on cutting toddler nails? My 2 year old goes into an absolute screaming jag if you so much as attempt to cut them, no matter the bargaining or bribe. I'm worried about forcing him, but don't really know what to do, they're getting pretty gross now.
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Dec 18, 2016 20:44
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Dirty Needles posted:Anybody got any tips on cutting toddler nails? My 2 year old goes into an absolute screaming jag if you so much as attempt to cut them, no matter the bargaining or bribe. I'm worried about forcing him, but don't really know what to do, they're getting pretty gross now. I bribe mine with the promise of nail polish afterwards. Not sure how you feel about it (but tbh that piggy polish stuff falls off after like a day max) but it works super well here.
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Dec 18, 2016 21:26
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I just keep the nail scissors hidden under the mattress and cut them while she's asleep 
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Dec 18, 2016 22:16
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Dirty Needles posted:Anybody got any tips on cutting toddler nails? My 2 year old goes into an absolute screaming jag if you so much as attempt to cut them, no matter the bargaining or bribe. I'm worried about forcing him, but don't really know what to do, they're getting pretty gross now. I've read that sleep trimming is the best starting from birth up to whenever they're old enough to trim their own nails. They're less likely to flail and get hurt in the process, they won't know it's happening and thus can't complain , it's faster, etc. Only risk is in waking them up, but at super young ages that's not much of a risk if you're only doing it when they're deeply asleep (but I'm guessing some babies just don't ever sleep that deep so you you'd do theirs while awake)
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Dec 19, 2016 08:32
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Dirty Needles posted:Anybody got any tips on cutting toddler nails? My 2 year old goes into an absolute screaming jag if you so much as attempt to cut them, no matter the bargaining or bribe. I'm worried about forcing him, but don't really know what to do, they're getting pretty gross now. That was my kid. Then I followed a plan I read in a cat training book. Didn't work for my cat, but did work for my toddler! I got a handful of treats (chocolate chips) and brought him to my lap and gave them one at a time and then started trimming his nails. He started to protest, but I said you only get the choco if you let me trim your nails and he let me do it! I couldn't believe it worked. I did that the next few times I had to trim his nails and then started doling out the choco more intermittently, then only at the end, and now I don't have to give him anything. Basically, I just gave nail trimming a positive association. I tried the doing it in the sleep thing, but he always woke up...
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Dec 20, 2016 13:18
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That's amazing. I'm definitely going to try that when baby gets older. For now I let him hold the cover to the nail scissors and he chews on it while I clip the other hand, but he's quickly losing interest. I also find that it's easiest when he's still groggy from having just woken up.
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Dec 20, 2016 14:03
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I don't think I've ever had to trim Jasper's nails. They just sort of wear off naturally?
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Dec 20, 2016 14:05
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Definitely have to do my kids or he stats drawing blood when we play. Luckily he actually enjoys the attention, at least so far. Gonna keep that snack tip in my back pocket though in case stuff changes, also seems useful elsewhere
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Dec 20, 2016 14:25
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Yeah my daughter looks like she had a fight with a feral cat every day. We have to trim her nails every other day or they become razors.
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Dec 20, 2016 14:51
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Thanks for the tips, I may try the chocolate bribe as he doesn't have it very often and it may just work. The sleep one didn't work, he started flailing in his sleep and it was like wolverine was having a seizure, not fun to be around! Those things are getting sharp.
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Dec 20, 2016 20:21
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A friend of mine had a toddler that would freak out at scissors and nail clippers, but it turned out he dealt much better with a nail file, so now they just file his nails, no problem. I totally see how the clippers can be scary when you're little and it seems like they're coming to snip an actual piece of your body off.
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Dec 20, 2016 20:35
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My son, almost 13 months, and usually a good sleeper recently decided "nope, not anymore" He would occasionally cry a bit when we put him down for bed or a nap, but only for a few minutes and would always fall asleep. Unfortunately, for the last couple of nights, and a few nights before that he will wake up between midnight and 2 AM crying, inconsolable, usually turning to a scream as if he was getting his toes chopped off or something. He is very difficult to calm down, and if we do calm him down we can't do the usual rocking and cuddling back to sleep. He is restless, wants to get down and move around, but isn't in a fully functional state of mind and will only end up hurting himself if we let him. The fact that we don't let him down only makes him more upset. Then when he does start to doze off finally, he will snap back into crying screaming terror mode and start the cycle all over again. He has been in his own room and crib since 2 weeks, and like I said, has typically been trouble-free sleep-wise. He usually goes to bed between 7:00 and 8:00, wakes up at about 6, and usually takes two naps between 1-2 hours. So around 12-14 hours sleep a day total. We try to keep as consistent a schedule as possible, which I figured is one reason he always did so well, at least until now. The closest thing I could find on Normal Internet was night terrors, but he is only 13 months. Everything I read seems to apply to older kids, while the 1 year olds are calmed down, and rocked back to sleep. He went to bed tonight about 30 minutes ago, cried for about 10 and fell asleep. I was careful tonight to "wind down" on the playing and fun activities and he seemed calm and happy when we put him down (even though he still cried a bit...) Hopefully, he sleeps well tonight. But this screaming has me worried, and since I haven't found any advice online that seems useful, I figured I'd ask here.
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Dec 21, 2016 03:22
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xorex posted:My son, almost 13 months, and usually a good sleeper recently decided "nope, not anymore" Mine is the same age, and our recent bouts of sleep issues have primarily been: hungry, teething, or sick. Especially if he is going through a growth spurt for like a week he'll take another cup of milk and cereal midnight. Teething we'll give him some Tylenol to help. Sick is a play by ear thing. We just found out after a fun trip to the ER (probably RSV) that the trick to fever that won't manage with just one is to overlap a bit and alternate Tylenol and ibprofin. Obviously, consult with your doctor for your own situation. Edit: How are you loading the system at bed time? Milk? Food?
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Dec 21, 2016 04:48
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FWIW my daughter went through a period like that as well, at about the same age. In the end we decided it was night terrors because nothing else fit and we never could prevent or stop it, we just had to wait it out. Went away after a few months. She's 20 months now and sleeps fine.
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Dec 21, 2016 08:51
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Thanks for the replies. We usually eat normal dinner about 1 hour before bed time with both milk and water offered to drink and then formula right before bed time (we are weening him off of it now.) I thought teething may be an issue since there has been some general crankiness, drooling, and he is often fingering his gums. He definitely could have a premolar coming in. We have given him tylenol to help with that. We haven't given him anything more but will talk to the doctor if it continues to be an issue. The screaming is just really out of character for him. He did wake up last night at about 11, had little interest in milk, but we changed him, rocked him for a bit, and put him back to bed with no freakouts, so there is that. My only change last night was to not play so hard right before bed time and have a longer wind down and quiet period. He is actually just now waking up and I hear the normal (happy) insanity coming from his room. The cycle begins again.
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Dec 21, 2016 13:47
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Hey Parenting thread. We've just had number 3, I had to deliver her on the bathroom floor as it sort of happened that fast. That's something... What do I do with babies again? Nothing's changed in two years right?
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Dec 22, 2016 01:46
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Oodles posted:Hey Parenting thread. We've just had number 3, I had to deliver her on the bathroom floor as it sort of happened that fast. That's something... Think of the previous children as your control group, and new jack is your experiment.
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Dec 22, 2016 02:58
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How do you deal with an excessively independent toddler? My daughter has decided she is making all decisions, and when given an a/b dodges answering one way or another. I don't want to crush her independence but I'm having a hard time getting her to agree to do anything. Diapers, brushing teeth, clothes, challenging boundaries, etc.
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Dec 27, 2016 02:43
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Do you want to do x or y? If you don't choose one of those things, I will choose for you. And then follow through, choose one of those things, calmly endure resulting meltdown, repeat times a million.
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Dec 27, 2016 03:29
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I really liked the book No Bad Kids. I use a lot of the info in there and it changed how I parent my three year old (I wish I would have read it earlier) and I think the change has been good for both of us. I'd pick that up if you have time. It's a short book!
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Dec 27, 2016 03:31
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I find that with my toddler she actually can't choose between a and b yet. She can just agree or disagree with b. Even with Go Diego Go when they do the questions at the end it's always yes or no to the second option rather that choosing between the two. It's "no... not a B" or "yes a B", ignoring the A option completely. Consistency seems to be the key with her, as well as laying out the "if X then Y" or "when X happens, then we get to do Y" pattern for what is going to happen - both for consequences and for bribery. Telling her clearly the things that need to happen before the fun thing really helps.
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Dec 27, 2016 03:56
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My husband and I have decided to get the potty training train on a roll. We've been putting our two year old on the potty before baths and she'll go pretty much every time, and she stays dry for a few hours at a time. We know she's ready. The issue is that he and I can't agree on the best way to do it. He wants to stick her in pullups and thinks she'll take care of the rest on her own. I want to put her in big girl undies so she'll learn what being wet feels like. Yesterday was our first real day working through it. She went on the potty twice and went in her undies twice. The first time she went in the undies she told us immediately she was wet, and the second time she started crying. My feeling is she dislikes it enough that it'll make her want to go on the toilet. We're still going to use diapers/pullups for bed/nap time. Anyone care to share their thoughts?
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Dec 27, 2016 15:08
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Have you considered cloth pull ups as a compromise? She feels wet but won't make a messmess.
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Dec 27, 2016 16:08
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dpspolice posted:My husband and I have decided to get the potty training train on a roll. We've been putting our two year old on the potty before baths and she'll go pretty much every time, and she stays dry for a few hours at a time. We know she's ready. Our daycare did the majority of the potty training for us (they're seriously badass) and they have a very strict "no pullups" rule. They put them in undies and use that as you said. The big rule they gave us at home to help along was "every 30-45 minutes put them on the potty. Do not ask them. Make them sit on the potty." I swear to god she was pee trained in like 2 weeks and poop trained a few weeks after that. I think we got very lucky, but it went incredibly smooth for us. She potty trained right around exactly 2 years old. But for the previous 4 months we had the potty just there in her environment and put her on it from time to time to get her used to it. She still has accidents sometimes if she gets very excited (like when she got her presents this Christmas - she didn't want to stop playing with toys and would catch herself mid-pee and run to the potty but already be a little wet).
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Dec 27, 2016 16:12
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sheri posted:I really liked the book No Bad Kids. I use a lot of the info in there and it changed how I parent my three year old (I wish I would have read it earlier) and I think the change has been good for both of us. I'd pick that up if you have time. It's a short book! How early do you wish you had read it? I was going to pick it up but the comments seem to put it in the 2.5-3.5 age range, and I'm only at 13 months. I'll probably still pick it up for later either way. Does anybody else have any suggestions on must-reads, especially for my age range? I posted here a month or two ago and got some really good responses about activities, and I do appreciate all the help I got. I had a big effort reply halfway typed out that my phone ate, so I kinda gave up for a bit, but this is a really good thread and I enjoy all the different perspectives.
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Dec 27, 2016 17:42
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sheri posted:Do you want to do x or y? If you don't choose one of those things, I will choose for you. I cannot get the "x or y" thing to work with mine. We tried it yesterday for something, and it was pretty hilarious: "X or Y?" Kid: "No!" "You need to pick one. X or Y?' Kid: Looks around... points at third item, which is not available to pick. "That!" "No, pick X... or Y?" Items held up one a time. Kid: Puts fingers out and points at X AND Y. "Yah!" The "Do you want to do it, or should I do it for you?" style works pretty well though. He loves doing things himself when possible, and even if it's not something he wants to do he'd rather do it himself than let someone else do it for him. In other news... I have been getting increasingly frustrated with... basically everyone that isn't me and interacts with my kid. His grandmother especially though. Do you guys have to deal with someone that is constantly teaching your child lovely behaviour and reinforcing it? On top of that she constantly complains about it saying "He must be picking it up from those kids at daycare, they are a bad influence on him!" and I just want to yell at her "I literally just watched you teach him to do it ten minutes ago, and then watched you reinforce his doing it as you were complaining about it!" It's got me pulling my hair out. And we absolutely needed to rely on her to manage things while my wife was recovering from surgery (she is almost fully recovered now by the way, things are going great on that front) so now he has all sorts of bad habits and I know exactly where he got them from. How can people who have had multiple kids of their own have so little understanding of the consequences of their own actions? Sometimes I wonder if she does it intentionally to make my life more difficult.
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Dec 27, 2016 18:16
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dpspolice posted:My husband and I have decided to get the potty training train on a roll. We've been putting our two year old on the potty before baths and she'll go pretty much every time, and she stays dry for a few hours at a time. We know she's ready. My daughter has been potty trained for a year now and still wears nappy pants at night. She's absolutely fine during the day - accidents will happen but it's once a month if that. But as soon as she has a nappy pant on for bedtime she will pee in it no matter how awake she is, it's like as soon as it's on it's open season to pee where ever she wants. I've actually seen her go take a nappy pant out the box, put it on and pee in it (maybe because she couldn't be bothered going upstairs? god knows). So in my experience straight to proper pants is the easiest most effective way, even with the extra washing and carpet cleaning etc.
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Dec 27, 2016 18:57
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GlyphGryph posted:How can people who have had multiple kids of their own have so little understanding of the consequences of their own actions? Sometimes I wonder if she does it intentionally to make my life more difficult. I'm convinced that people forget how their own kids were at various ages. My parents right now have no idea what typical three year old behavior is like. Either that or my sister and I were the most super chill kids to exist ever. sheri fucked around with this message at 23:13 on Dec 27, 2016 |
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Dec 27, 2016 20:02
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sheri posted:I'm convinced that people forget how their own kids were at various ages. My parents have no idea what typical three year old behavior is like. Either that or my sister and I were the most super chill kids to exist ever. It's funny seeing grandparents with our kids. My parents used to go on about how I was a fussy eater, and I would have tuna sandwiches every day for my lunch for 6 years. But then I see them with my kids latching onto a medal that they ate, and every time we're round to theirs it's always spaghetti bolognaise for the kids. Even when it's a Sunday roast and we say that the kids will eat they, "oh no, Dad will make spaghetti the kids like it". We stayed with them for a week and it was fajitas 3 nights, spaghetti, 2 nights. Just because they know it'll get eaten. Grandparents privilege I suppose. I wonder if I was a fussy eater or if they just latched onto that one thing I ate.
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Dec 27, 2016 20:09
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the good fax machine posted:How early do you wish you had read it? I was going to pick it up but the comments seem to put it in the 2.5-3.5 age range, and I'm only at 13 months. I'll probably still pick it up for later either way. Does anybody else have any suggestions on must-reads, especially for my age range? I think reading in advance is always more useful than reading when you're in the thick of things. Laying groundwork early on can help too. I recommend the "Your One Year Old" book (and all of the other ones for each age). I find it helpful to read about what weird things are completely normal at a particular age.
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Dec 27, 2016 22:13
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