Improbable Lobster posted:

SMG is bad

quote:

SMG is a treasure. Sure it is one of those Indiana Jones "melt your face off" treasures, but, drat it, he is a treasure.

Control Volume posted:

We have two diametrically opposed sides in the pedophile wars now: the people who think pedophiles are just swell, and the people who hate them so they send them child porn (??????)

Ride The Gravitron posted:

It's like when your dad catches you smoking so he makes you smoke the whole pack

Grandito posted:

I'm looking for a post that was most likely from the forums about a couple getting a horse that replaces the husband and makes him live in the stable. Does anyone know what I'm talking about?

Unknown posted:

That horse mocks you. Do you hear the neighing? More like naying! That horse says no to you. The horse is the man of the house. You are the horse. Clop clop! Trot about to your dingy office, little horsey. Your wife kisses her husband-horse when you can't see. And then again when you can. She buys it shoes, finer than any you'll own. Its metal feet crush your soul. "This horse is now man!" it exclaims. "I am defeated!" you cry. The horse has beat you. Soon you'll be in the stall, eating dry, bland grasses, while the majestic Horseband ferries your wife about town. "Oh!" the city folk shall say as they drop to their knees as their muscles fail them at the sight of such a couple. "The horse is such a man!" they weep as they tear out their eyes, knowing they'll never see such beauty again. Your wife and the HorseGod shall laugh and eat gold together. Ha ha! And your tears shall be blood as you shrivel and turn to dust, forgotten in that stall outside the city where the HORSE is now Emperor Of All and Lover Of One. The citizens will genuflect before the great beast, paying whatever tithe the Hoofed One demands, be it of coin or flesh. The people will rejoice to do so, as their Great and Benevolent Equine shall make their crops plenty, and their lives ever long. The rotten stall shall collapse on your worm-eaten bones, and none shall remember a whit about you. Except the UrHorse, the original horse, who shall shed no tear, but blink in bitter recollection of that brief time he had to endure you.

Do not let this come to be. Shoot that horse. With your Glock. Eat its meat. Make a horse stew. Turn its bones into glue, and use it to glue the skull to your wall. Use its hooves to make a tasteless gelatin to encase its eyes in. Do it. Be the man of the house, not the man of the horse. He watches!

Freaking Crumbum posted:

what if i name my heavy warhorse Zero Hitpoints and use a trip attack to knock an enemy down so that it is below Zero Hitpoints?

Brofessor Slayton posted:

At that point you might as well get a flying mount named Zero Hitpoints. Begin every fight with a vertical take-off.

PMush Perfect posted:

Now I'm just imagining a horse race where the horses have names almost as ridiculous as the real names.

"Here comes Zero Hitpoints 'round the bend, but Peasant Railgun's gaining fast, followed by Daylight Ends Immediately, Bear Lore, and Skeleton Computer!"

Mors Rattus posted:

And yet they are all eclipsed by I Am The Moon (He Is The Moon).

U.T. Raptor posted:

Breetai posted:

I have never been prouder to be baffled by an analogy.

The MSJ posted:

Avshalom posted:

trash

Trig Discipline posted:

trump release the squirt certificate

Booourns posted:

sorry avshalom but your quotes aren't funny, maybe try posting some from other posters

Avshalom posted:

Okay, let's get this thread back on-topic. Now we're talking about likeable vs. interesting characters, I just thought I'd run a few character designs for my comic relaunch past the thread. My designs in the past have been pretty flat and sameish, they didn't express the characters' background, culture or personality very well. I've been dabbling in a style that mixes photomanipulation with digital painting, so it's got that nice foundation of realism but with a veneer of artistry over the top. It's good because I've always had a tendency to get caught up in re-drawing and worrying about little details. This way I can get a comic out as soon as I've collected the photos. Anyway, here are the characters (all the photos are my own):

Lumina Brennan: The "leader" of the group. Headstrong, a little bossy, secretly insecure and worried about her appearance, but she hides that under a veneer of self-confidence as you can see from her straightforward no-nonsense flaunting of her body. Each of the characters has an elemental power and Lumina's is Light, so I tried to incorporate a rainbow element into her design to evoke the light spectrum without relying on cliches like blonde hair or literal glowing.



Plum Blossom Yang: The genius of the group. Her elemental power is Brain. She is a ninja who is very shy and submissive, but uses her meek appearance to get close enough to her victims to strike them with her neuro-hacking, with which she can take control of their bodies. However, she prefers to control her own body - she's an athlete as well as an intellectual and considers her perfect figure to be a symbol of her power and ability, so she displays it proudly whenever possible.



Mengelina Finn: The sassy girl. Her elemental power is Water. I made her a redhead as a bit of irony. She actually gets really upset when people point out how funny it is that a redhead is in control of water! Although Lumina tends to take control, Mengelina is the true leader who influences the others through snark and sarcastic remarks. Sometimes she can go a bit too far and cause offence, but she has a good heart and tends to be right about most things. She grew up on a secluded island living a subsistence hunter-gatherer lifestyle, so she never learnt to be ashamed of her body and she usually goes naked because it helps her swim faster.



Choo Choo: The alien. Choo Choo's elemental power is Fire. She's actually originally a tool of the invading aliens (the villains of the comic) and is a modified deathbot who was hacked by Plum Blossom and developed sentience and a personality. She's quiet but extremely powerful. She doesn't really understand humans yet, but the other girls are trying to teach her to fit in with human society and constantly reassure her that she's beautiful and desirable to boost her self-confidence, which leads to her slowly becoming more empowered and willing to display her body over the course of the comic.



Let me know what you think! I'm hoping to get the first few comics out as soon as I'm totally happy with the art style.

Booourns posted:

sorry avshalom but your quotes aren't funny, maybe try posting some from other posters

Karate Bastard posted:

Yeah, like that otter guy was funny, maybe you could find some of his to post?

VanSandman posted:

missing the joke here

Hogge Wild posted:

team choo choo

FactsAreUseless posted:

I hope she gets brave enough to show off her entire vagina, and all the parts of the vagina. I want to see if she has a normal type of vagina, or an alien type of vagina, and what the parts look like.

FactsAreUseless posted:

I hope she gets brave enough to show off her entire vagina, and all the parts of the vagina. I want to see if she has a normal type of vagina, or an alien type of vagina, and what the parts look like.

FactsAreUseless posted:

I hope she gets brave enough to show off her entire vagina, and all the parts of the vagina. I want to see if she has a normal type of vagina, or an alien type of vagina, and what the parts look like.

Machai posted:

p sure she is a trainnie so it will look alien no matter what

Antivehicular posted:

This post made me think about those alien-vulva Fleshlight designs, and that made me think about how readily you could make a Fleshlight casing in the shape of a Thomas the Tank Engine character, and now I'm not thinking anymore lest my brain continue this train of thought.

Cindy Shitbird posted:

the politically correct term is "tramsgender"

Antivehicular posted:

This post made me think about those alien-vulva Fleshlight designs, and that made me think about how readily you could make a Fleshlight casing in the shape of a Thomas the Tank Engine character

Cindy Shitbird posted:

the politically correct term is "tramsgender"

FactsAreUseless posted:

Actually she's hilarious, so here is a funny avshalom quote she posted in response to someone posting their weird naked 3-D render of a Disney cartoon in a thread.

Gorilla Salad posted:

I believe it's called a fire box.

Pvt.Scott posted:

Christ was a pretty sassy bitch, laying verbal smackdowns on the fools who called him out on the street, cursing trees and flipping loving tables and whipping bitches.

Ride The Gravitron posted:

trapped mouse posted:

https://twitter.com/EJGomez/status/568226261274722304

trapped mouse posted:

https://twitter.com/EJGomez/status/568226261274722304