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She's like Mr. Game & Watch, in cat form.
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Dec 26, 2016 18:14
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Why do you attack all our bath towels, what the hell, cat The worst part is how adorable he looks doing it.
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Dec 29, 2016 05:44
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Look at his face markings! Of course he'd attack the towels. He is literally a dick-head.
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Dec 29, 2016 18:08
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Zaftig posted:Look at his face markings! Of course he'd attack the towels. He is literally a dick-head.  drat I somehow hadn't noticed that. if you get him from the right angle the black fur on his face looks like a cock'n'balls... this explains EVERYTHING.
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Dec 29, 2016 21:08
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 this motherfucker has tried to kill himself six times today; he's only seven weeks old, how depressed can he really be? my cat wants to eat him and i may let her.
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Jan 3, 2017 21:18
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black.lion posted:
puppies are pretty much determined to kill themselves for like the first year, stay strong cute puppergoon
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Jan 3, 2017 21:24
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I'm not sure if one of my cats hates things worn on the wrist, or loves them too much, because he's always trying to bite fitness trackers, watches, and arm braces. Here's an old picture because I laugh at the idea of actually having a hand free when this monster is coming at them.
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Jan 12, 2017 02:07
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Goddammit, Princess, I know your previous owner abandoned you and my wife rescued you from the Humane Society and you're an old lady at 8 years old, but for gently caress'S sake will you please stop waking my pregnant wife up for pets and love in the middle of the night. It's not like you even need anything, you're just sitting on her chest meowing at her and petting her face until she wakes up to love on you.
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Jan 12, 2017 14:38
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Look, god drat it. I know you're old and sometimes you fumblefuck the whole litterbox process, but if you step in your own poo poo it is NOT OKAY to come jump on my bed to tell me about it. I had to do two loads of laundry, you loving jerk.
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Jan 14, 2017 08:18
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Would you two assholes please stop chewing the walls anywhere one wall meets another? Do you realize how much of a loving pain in the rear end it is to patch and repaint drywall so our house doesn't look like a shithole? Also, I buy your toys/chewy treats in pairs for a reason. The one I'm giving to you, Tarkus, is exactly the same as the one I'm giving to Jade. Hers isn't any better than yours. Besides, you know drat well she's just gonna take yours the second your mouth drops it to bark at her. While we're at it Tarkus, you've got at least 15 pounds on her, stop letting that little bitch take your poo poo.  
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Jan 18, 2017 22:16
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Assholes.
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Jan 19, 2017 17:05
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Yon-yon, please stop yowling to be papped/spanked every second of the day. My arms are so so tired and I now have very powerful forearms. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jn10v6nzx5s
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Jan 29, 2017 19:46
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Binners please do not knock everything off the bureau to scare me while I'm going down on a dude, I almost bit his drat dick off How'd you even get in here you little creep
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Jan 29, 2017 19:56
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Mr. Punch posted:Binners please do not knock everything off the bureau to scare me while I'm going down on a dude, I almost bit his drat dick off I missed the "going down on a dude" part of this post and parsed it as you almost bit your cat's dick off. e: I assume it's a cat, knocking poo poo off the bureau for giggles sounds like a cat thing to do
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Jan 30, 2017 12:08
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Princess, stop loving stalking my wife. Every time I go in there while my wife's asleep, this loving cat is practically wrapped around her face, paws and all. Zuba, I know you're a rabbit. And new. And marking territory, probably. But stop loving pissing on the couch, you little poo poo. You have a litterbox for that.
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Jan 30, 2017 14:38
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Dear Zebra Finches: Sorry. Dear Society Finches (part 2): You may have noticed we recently had another outbreak of whatever virulent disease keeps periodically killing almost all our zebras. This time all five sharing your cage died overnight. That being said, going to sleep (again) in the nest containing two dead, stinky, and very squished birds during a plague outbreak may not have been your smartest move. You are lucky that only one of you got sick and died. I thought we were facing another wipeout. Concerned for your mental health, your caretaker.
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Jan 30, 2017 16:41
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hogmartin posted:I had a cat who took up the same hobby by leaping up from the floor. We cleared everything off the counter, stacked empty soda cans 3 high around the wall of the counter, and sprayed cooking oil on the surface. Then we waited. He was dumb as a box of hammers, but one encounter with sliding uncontrollably into loud things falling on him and then scrabbling uselessly on the floor with greasy paws trying to escape was enough for him to seek other pursuits. OK now i know what i'm going to try next to keep our kitten off the kitchen counter. He's gotten our old cats into the habit now. and yesterday he knocked down a very sturdy ~liter sized tupperware we keep daily dog food in and the kitten and the oldest dog helped themselves to ~3 days of food. He regularly jumps into the sink to lick dirty cups and the stove to lick god knows what from below the burners, loving disgusting cat.
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Jan 30, 2017 18:27
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Dear Harriet. I know you are excited as heck about spinach. I know you love to be hand fed. That poo poo will stop if you keep "accidentally" nipping me. Seriously, stop biting the hand that feeds you. LITERALLY.
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Jan 30, 2017 18:35
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My cat now jumps on the bed and purrs like mad in my face if he's in the room when I jerk off.
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Jan 31, 2017 16:38
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how the gently caress can you feel comfortable jerking it in front of your cat in the first place
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Jan 31, 2017 17:53
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Don't kink shame But do call the SPCA
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Jan 31, 2017 22:51
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turn off the TV posted:how the gently caress can you feel comfortable jerking it in front of your cat in the first place I don't start off knowing he's in the room.
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Feb 1, 2017 01:07
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turn off the TV posted:how the gently caress can you feel comfortable jerking it in front of your cat in the first place Non-content post, but my god I have to point out this may well be the best post / av combo of 2017 so far.
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Feb 1, 2017 01:11
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Not my pet, but my boss's dog Tucker. That fat fucker gets ran for like an hour in 25 degree weather, and then decides that he doesn't want to get in the jeep that drove him next door to the boss's daughter's house. No he wants to walk back to the shop. So then when he gets back to the shop, he drinks like 2 drinks of water, and then sits by the door wanting to sit and wait in the jeep. The jeep that got left up at the daughter's house. In 25 degree weather.
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Feb 2, 2017 03:58
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Bertrand Hustle posted:I missed the "going down on a dude" part of this post and parsed it as you almost bit your cat's dick off. he's a real cranky old black cat and he likes big dudes with beards, which is also my type I think he was doing the cat equivalent of posting on reddit about how nice cats finish last
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Feb 3, 2017 01:10
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dear "my dumb loving tubeman snake friend": my fingers aren't food stop trying to bite me when i fed you two days ago im just trying to give you water jesus christ it's winter you're supposed to be sleeping right now anyways
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Feb 10, 2017 22:57
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  My three rear end in a top hat pets but I love them. We're actually moving from CT to HI soon so I'm curious to see how the husky is going to deal.
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Feb 11, 2017 22:42
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With lots of whining and howling and general complaining, because husky.
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Feb 12, 2017 01:30
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You little lagomorph poo poo, I hope you loving enjoyed your area rug snack. $40 area rug now has a nickel-sized hole in the loving middle because that little loving rabbit broke out of her cage and had a snack.
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Feb 13, 2017 16:57
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Dear orange cat: I haven't got the faintest idea about what the white cat did to you to make you absolutely terrified, but please, stop yelling and lunging at him at 1am in the morning. You don't seem to mind him in daylight, so why do you have to wake up half the neighborhood? Also, stop biting and scratching him. He's covered in little scars. You have none. He's stronger and heavier than you, so maybe take the hint that he doesn't want to fight you at all? He's the gentler, most pacific cat I have seen, and he's used to being abused by the older cats. You, however, despite being the most assholish kitten I have raised, have never attacked him, and as a result, he absolutely adores you. He'll follow you around everywhere, he'll cuddle up to you, and the two times you have accidentally fallen from the backyard wall to the empty house near ours, we've found about it because he'd hear you and start calling out to you in the saddest meow imaginable. I don't think he even minds the physical pain as much, but he looks utterly and entirely heartbroken by your attacks. Please stop.
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Feb 13, 2017 17:14
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D34THROW posted:You little lagomorph poo poo, I hope you loving enjoyed your area rug snack. $40 area rug now has a nickel-sized hole in the loving middle because that little loving rabbit broke out of her cage and had a snack. Dude, you only lost a $40 area rug? Come back when bunny damage is over $500 Also Harriet, please stop threatening me 
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Feb 13, 2017 18:07
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bunnyofdoom posted:Dude, you only lost a $40 area rug? Come back when bunny damage is over $500 username finally explained
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Feb 13, 2017 20:41
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 You are just a cat.
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Feb 22, 2017 02:47
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Zigmidge posted:
I have those socks why are you wearing my socks ARE YOU ME EDIT: SEE???!?? 
JohnnyCanuck fucked around with this message at 22:32 on Feb 22, 2017 |
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Feb 22, 2017 04:21
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Dear Jess, You just cost me £650 over three days to get your teeth fixed. Before you even think about getting ill or into a fight this year, please bear in mind that it would only cost about a hundred quid to have you put down.
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Feb 22, 2017 21:38
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Lillie. You are like three times Perdy's size. Just because she's in the catcube doesn't mean it's an open invitation to attack her. I've seen playfighting, you had your fuckin' claws out. You're like 5 times her age, gently caress off.
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Feb 22, 2017 22:43
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You're looking kinda dead lately Mora
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Feb 23, 2017 11:33
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I've been having a bad day (week) and this thread brought me back: gently caress you Annie for eating a 2 pound bag of red macadamia nuts that was under the Christmas tree. Yeah we totally didn't notice that you SHELLED every single one and you entire face and front paws are bright red. Also dammit Batman. I had this really obnoxious zit on my nose, and if that wasn't bad enough, you had to scratch it with your Freddy Krueker claw-blades, and now it looks like I have leprosy or something. You three pound bitch 
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Feb 26, 2017 21:42
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Ooops now i'm thinking that Macadamia isn't right. I don't eat nuts lol. What are the red ones ? Cuz our dog totally ate the whole bag and was stained red for weeks.
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Feb 26, 2017 22:33
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DoggPickle posted:Ooops now i'm thinking that Macadamia isn't right. I don't eat nuts lol. What are the red ones ? Cuz our dog totally ate the whole bag and was stained red for weeks. I think you're thinking of pistachios. Be glad it wasn't macadamias, pretty sure they're poisonous to dogs!
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Feb 27, 2017 00:24
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