|
|
# ? Apr 19, 2024 00:22 |
|
Update 1: Here Tomorrow, Gond Today Bored. Hmm. Hmmmm. 1-Civilization 2 - Menu Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm mmNah. Yes. Yes. And no, no it wasn't. Not a bit. This was a very hard decision to make until I realized that Let's Gond should probably contain Gond rather than, uh, Aalu. That wouldn't make much sense. I make no apologies tell no lies and offer no excuses. I do offer an explanation, though. Better yet, two of them! 1: this is Let's Gond not Let's Pro there's a man who did that a little while ago. We're here to Gond, not to Pro. 2: I am literally a baby and you shouldn't be mean to babies. We make the first of many departures from historical canon: Stompy was a woman. I don't lie though. I won't tell this video game I'm a woman when I'm not. That would be impolite. Well. It's not a BAD name. But we can do better. Nothing like the classics. 2-Civilization 2 - Primeval World/Jurasic Jungle (SIC) And with that, we begin. Here it is. Here is Gond. Glory to Gond. I guess. Gond measures four hundred cubits by eighty cubits by nine hundred cubits and as soon as we discover what a cubit is we will be very impressed. It also has a population of 1, which we can at least understand. We can understand that because it's printed on that little flag next to Gond. Very helpful. Let's take a closer look at it. Now, this might appear somewhat confusing. Don't worry though, we can talk our way through this.
The map shows what tiles we are working and for what yields per turn. Gond can always work its own city tile, plus one additional tile for each person. Yields include food (or wheat) trade (or orange recycling symbols) and production (or shields, or poo poo that makes no sense). Currently producing, city improvements, units supported, and units present are all pretty much what they sound like. I command the creation of an additional Coelophysis instead, for scouting purposes. I hope this is the right thing to do. Most units in Civilization 2 are statblocks without exceptional qualities, and exceptions will be noted otherwise. Coelophysis here is worth noting: it is a TERRIBLE statblock without exceptional qualities. While I'm at it, this unit catches my eye. It's sitting in Gond and it's not really doing much. I command its movement, and I also hope this is the right thing to do. Wow, that Coelophysis built itself fast. Uh. Um. Build an Arena. Something not garbage. Our scouts have barely left the city borders before they puncture sweet, sweet goodie hut to our southeast, earning a random reward. In this case, our reward is friends. Much bigger friends. This is a Baryonyx, and it must have been very lonely all by itself. Gond gives it purpose and camaraderie and the command to get scouting right now mister. This guy can move twice as much per turn as our short-legged little Coelophysis can. It is 498 million years before the internet and already someone is writing up best-of-lists and throwing shade at people. This is familiar and calming. Also, we are indeed very Fine. The world so far. It's very small, very green, and very damp. It could easily be confused with a frog. You must try not to do this. Our Thecodontosaurus there is hard at work. It can build things. It can be useful. It can build things for Gond. Like a road. Ah, and here's one of the bigger contributors to our mapping, at 3 moves a turn. This is a fish. This fish is not for eating, this fish is our friend. It is for Gond and it is our friend. Its name is Gyroptychius. Please do not call it Gyro. We want to remember NOT to eat it. Especially since it's found us such a nice spot. This little inlet is laden with Spice tiles, for lots of food. I think we will build our road this way. For later. Not all huts are equal. Some are so lonely that nobody's home. Maybe it's because we're already well on the way with the road to our next city, but I only just now realize that I should probably have someone to build it. Thecodontosaurus maintenance is very expensive, but the one I already have now is homeless and pays maintenance to no city. Therefore, rather than using it to build a city, I shall keep it building roads until it is old and obsolete. This is job security. I'll just make a new one here, then build a city with it instead. More huts. I don't know who's building these since last I checked there are four hundred and something million years between us and the invention of the opposable thumb, but that's not going to be the strangest building we'll see in this game so let's not worry about it. This one is full of gold, which we apparently like. I'll accept this. Birds are dinosaurs. Birds like shiny things. Dinosaurs liked shiny things. This is logic. Oh my. Now there's a turnup for the books. It's not every day you learn something new. Evolutionary Advances are extremely important. They're the key to new units, new buildings, Wonders of the World, and sometimes just plain bewilderment. For instance, we are now capable of researching 'Teeth.' This would be very helpful indeed, because as it is I've no idea how any of our units are feeding themselves. Therefore, I ignore the stupid and misinformed advice of my smartypants science advisor and decide to figure out these 'Teeth' things. Shut up, you don't even know how to chew yet, I won't listen to you. Our Baryonyx forges onwards into the wild unknown, finding more and more shiny rocks... ...and disappointments. Can't win them all. Just most of them. Seriously, he's covering some good ground. And finding new spots for cities - all those grass tiles with shields gain +1 bonus production. Speaking of cities... Right. We're going to get this bad boy down the road and to his new, spice-laden home as quickly as we can; as long as he's alive he puts a crippling -1 production AND food to Gond, slowing its growth rate from 'feeble' right down to 'no.' And the good news keeps rolling: our Baryonyx has found another friend in a hut! This Iguanodon isn't as fast as him, and it isn't as tough as him, and it's only exactly as strong as him, but... ...hmm. Well, it's still better than nothing. Our fish, by contrast, has found no friends. Lots of land though. That'd be a nice spot for a city, with all those krill and ammonites in reach. Of course, that's a long ways away yet. Before we Gond abroad, we must Gond near home. Like so. Bam. (CLICK HERE to hear the stirring patriotic thuds of Gondwanan labour at work) Parcae is more productive than Gond, has more food than Gond, and commands greater trade than Gond. I'm beginning to suspect I might have chosen the wrong title for this LP. Nevertheless, let's build an Arena here, so we may produce Veteran units. Just in case. Through careful analysis, observation, and the deaths of dozens of volunteers, we have finally discovered what those funny little bumps inside our mouths are! I have only the best feelings about this decision. Wait. That's not my fish. That is someone else's fish! How unexpected; we've met someone new! A new friend! NEXT TIME: DEATH, DISMEMBERMENT, BLOODSHED. New Buildings New Units Drakyn fucked around with this message at 00:30 on Feb 16, 2017 |
# ? Jan 14, 2017 20:15 |
|
Ooh, this looks fun. Looking forward to seeing how it
|
# ? Jan 14, 2017 20:35 |
|
I would like to know more about Gond
|
# ? Jan 14, 2017 21:06 |
|
Gond not dead.
|
# ? Jan 14, 2017 21:37 |
|
Got halfway through the op, scrolled to end of thread and voted 5.
|
# ? Jan 14, 2017 21:55 |
|
biosterous posted:I would like to know more about Gond Dean of Swing posted:Gond not dead.
|
# ? Jan 14, 2017 22:10 |
|
Update 2: Gond Fishing The official instrument of Gond is the bellowing very loudly. It is also the national bird. Hello again and welcome back. Last time we found a fish and it was not our fish and it also wasn't food! Let's see what the hell that means. 3-Civilization 2 - Tenochitlan Revealed Also we recruited another Baryonyx. I guess having big fat fish-grapplin' arms and nobody to hug makes you very lonely and easily manipulated. Oh yes, please! what. whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaathat's better. Now, what's cookin', Varakara? Man we literally just met you and you're already trying to be our pal. This isn't how you earn people's trust, you know? You've got to welcome aboard great to meetcha want to see Gond it measures four hundred cubits by eighty cubits by nine hundred cubits and as soon as we discover what a cubit is you will be very impressed. Okay, the strong, silent, isolationist type. I can deal with that. I could deal with THAT even better though. Alright, I've only just begun this eternal friendship and I'm starting to regret it. Wait, excuse me? You were just willing to PAY ME to have a conversation and now you're hanging up on me! rear end in a top hat. We're going to explore this desert and find better friends. See even the dinosaur internet knows you're HOPELESS. You hear me, Varakara? HOPELESS. And we're not. Because we're GREAT. Oh what the hell is this. What fuckin' fresh hell is this. And what is THIS. I go to all the trouble of stealing this goodie hut right off your front lawn and you've let it get full of barbarians! Barbarians, Varakara! What the hell are you even DOING with your life? (CLICK HERE to be roused by the stirring battle cries of Gondwana) Victory, but at the cost of severe injury. Those thumb spikes really hurt. Why is it that the only friends I can make are homeless? Oh you know what? gently caress YOU AND gently caress YOU TOO I DON'T NEED YOU I DON'T NEED YOU EITHER YOU'RE SLOW AND COSTING ME UNNECESSARY AMOUNTS OF UPKEEP, GOND CAN BARELY FUCKIN' TIE ITS SHOELACES AND YOU'RE SMOTHERING IT IN INEPTITUDE I DON’T NEED HUTS EITHER ALL I NEED IS DEAD FISH AND THE LYMPH OF MY ENEMIES (CLICK HERE to relish the anguished death throes of the enemy at sea) Wear it in pride, Barry. Wear it in pride. That's some good fishing right there. Though satisfying, our murder spree has depopulated Thrut - with each failed defense, a city loses one population. One more assault and we could murder literally everyone, leaving us no city to take. And now we play the most dangerous game. The waiting game. This hut contained DNA. Complicated, but rendered plausible by Michael Crichton. It's not easy being amphibious, but we love them anyways. Mostly because we have no choice: these are the only units in the game that can hop straight off a Oopsie. Looks like our Coelophysis maintenance problems are taking care of themselves. (CLICK HERE to nod in approval of the architectural skills of Parcae continues to excel. Why can't you be more like Parcae, Gond, and less like Gond? But wait, there's more! We have now discovered.... how to eat raw flesh. Huh. Funny trick. Wonder what we were doing before. More importantly, it's led us to all sorts of knowledge and murdertools! That's a vital piece of maritime infrastructure, a Wonder of the World, and three military units all unlocked from one evolutionary advance. Not too shabby. Man Dam Building almost sounds like a plausible thing to discover, let's get on that. I'm not sure if I can take us unravelling the mysteries of 'digestive system' or something like that. And now we're going to build an Oviraptor, which, thanks to Parcae's Arena, will come out as a veteran with bonus combat stats. This is fine. This is good. Nothing bad will happen. I promise you Varakara I will not lose this waiting game. I am very patient. You'd better not blink. Earthworks, another Wonder. And we've opened the way to even bigger and more complicated techniques. Like picking up after our poop. Let's not learn how to do that just yet. This happens now and then. We're playing over milions of years here; sometimes the world slips and shudders and an ocean is now a bit of land, or a mountain pops up out of a plain, or something like that. Don't blame me, blame tectonics. And lots of time. Lots of time. Lots of long, boring, endless, grinding, eroding, sighing, ti i am very bad at the waiting game Ah-HAH! Civilization 2 - Funeral March Wait what I have just committed murder on a scale incalculable. A thriving, warlike, hostile society has been eradicated from the face of this planet, passed from the ever-moving NOW into the paralysis of the past, into the dust and the dirt and the dinosaurs’ graveyard*, bone-choked and mineral-coated, lost and gone forever. Man, they had a REALLY nice place. I bet I could fit a city in here. We'll just save this for now and Well. I guess we'd better work on changing our government. NEXT TIME: LEBENSRAUM, REDECORATION, IKEA. *I asked Al Purdy yesterday if I could use this and he said Sure Go Ahead. New Buildings New Units Drakyn fucked around with this message at 00:31 on Feb 16, 2017 |
# ? Jan 15, 2017 21:35 |
|
This is gonda be good. I really loved the scenarios for Civ2 (and Civ2 itself) but I have never seen the glory of Gond from an outside perspective before!.
|
# ? Jan 16, 2017 01:43 |
|
Truly a game of the go(n)ds.
|
# ? Jan 16, 2017 02:55 |
|
Why did I never play this scenario? Looks to be a fantastic total conversion mod. Go where you've never Gond before!
|
# ? Jan 16, 2017 11:54 |
|
Nice game. I got no gond puns though.
|
# ? Jan 16, 2017 12:56 |
|
These puns are agondising Then again, fun LP
|
# ? Jan 16, 2017 16:44 |
|
Looks like the Thruthvang were Gond with the Wind? Sorry.
|
# ? Jan 16, 2017 17:09 |
This is really familiar, I think I played this once. Great LP so far.
|
|
# ? Jan 16, 2017 17:43 |
|
Gondolonces
|
# ? Jan 16, 2017 17:52 |
|
Samovar posted:Looks like the Thruthvang were Gond with the Wind? To save on page space, today's update was drowned in a flash flood, scavenged, abraded by wind and sand, buried, compressed, shoved through several tectonic shifts, exposed, and eroded. At the end of the whole process you could fit what was left inside a breadbox and also this link: Update 3: Gond West, Young Maniraptoran Drakyn fucked around with this message at 23:54 on Jan 26, 2017 |
# ? Jan 18, 2017 00:26 |
|
Go(o)nds will be go(o)ndsKing Doom posted:Got halfway through the op, scrolled to end of thread and voted 5. Also, this nutri_void fucked around with this message at 01:20 on Jan 18, 2017 |
# ? Jan 18, 2017 01:17 |
|
I'm gonda keep my eye on this.
|
# ? Jan 18, 2017 03:20 |
|
I'm amazed (and frightened) that you're still second place in might after all the free gonds you've picked up. Then again I was terrible at Civ2, even on the lowest difficulty, so meh.
|
# ? Jan 18, 2017 04:50 |
|
Alexeythegreat posted:Go(o)nds will be go(o)nds Seyser Koze posted:I'm amazed (and frightened) that you're still second place in might after all the free gonds you've picked up. Update 3 posted:
|
# ? Jan 18, 2017 06:31 |
|
I am thoroughly enjoying this tale of the adventures of Gond.
|
# ? Jan 19, 2017 00:27 |
|
There's just something almost inherently funny about Dinosaur Civ.
|
# ? Jan 19, 2017 05:41 |
|
Glazius posted:There's just something almost inherently funny about Dinosaur Civ. This is actually just a plaster cast of the real update, which is stuffed in a big box at the Smithsonian hidden behind six filing cabinets filled with 19th-century beetles and a decaying plywood partition: Update 4: Gond Home Drakyn fucked around with this message at 23:53 on Jan 26, 2017 |
# ? Jan 20, 2017 00:25 |
|
I love the military technology tree. When you're trying to genericize common dino features it's going to get painfully, painfully generic. I suppose it's the same with the basic concepts of society that we've all known since we were like three. They just kind of blur indistinctly together.
|
# ? Jan 20, 2017 01:11 |
|
I'm assuming the council doesn't involve clips from Jurassic Park howling at each other?
|
# ? Jan 20, 2017 07:29 |
|
Glazius posted:I love the military technology tree. When you're trying to genericize common dino features it's going to get painfully, painfully generic. Seyser Koze posted:I'm assuming the council doesn't involve clips from Jurassic Park howling at each other?
|
# ? Jan 21, 2017 05:31 |
|
Life uh...Life sure does find a way. I had no idea this mod existed but I'm glad this LP is here.
|
# ? Jan 21, 2017 07:22 |
|
I can't remember- is there a way to transfer upkeep costs from one city to another? Gond can't be Gond unless it's more Gond than any other!
|
# ? Jan 21, 2017 08:42 |
|
Do the jungle tiles give more resources in this one? Remember being turned off by it way back when because I just saw lots and lots of what I assumed to be worthless jungle on the map. Very nice units, though.
|
# ? Jan 21, 2017 11:14 |
Anticheese posted:Life uh...Life sure does find a way. I had no idea this mod existed but I'm glad this LP is here. Appreciate it while it lasts, it'll be Gond before you know it.
|
|
# ? Jan 21, 2017 11:45 |
|
CommissarMega posted:I can't remember- is there a way to transfer upkeep costs from one city to another? Gond can't be Gond unless it's more Gond than any other! Wastrel_ posted:Do the jungle tiles give more resources in this one? Remember being turned off by it way back when because I just saw lots and lots of what I assumed to be worthless jungle on the map. Very nice units, though. Basically, it breaks down to +1 shields from all tiles except for the following: Grazing (Buffalo): No change. Swamps and Jungles: +3 shields, making them 1Food/3Shields/0Trade From this we draw two conclusions: (1) the Mesozoic was extremely busy; and (2) apparently a healthy level of moisturization is the key to industry.
|
# ? Jan 21, 2017 16:31 |
|
What does the science/tech victory consist of in this mod?
|
# ? Jan 21, 2017 17:36 |
|
Cathode Raymond posted:What does the science/tech victory consist of in this mod? Maybe [Birds]? Drakyn posted:As it turns out you can change home cities on units once you've parked them elsewhere If I remember right, that's been in since Civ 1.
|
# ? Jan 21, 2017 18:06 |
|
Drakyn posted:
That is an astounding bonus. 1 food without the possibility of improvement through irrigation (which clears the tile of swamp/jungle and turns it into grassland) means a city with many jungle tiles can hardly grow unless you clear some, though. Guess it's a balance thing. If you're running all the Civ 2 Fantastic Worlds scenarios, you should do Atlantis next. As I recall that's got some amusing stuff going on with it too.
|
# ? Jan 21, 2017 18:29 |
|
Cathode Raymond posted:What does the science/tech victory consist of in this mod? Hello Sailor posted:If I remember right, that's been in since Civ 1. update 1 posted:I am literally a baby Wastrel_ posted:That is an astounding bonus. 1 food without the possibility of improvement through irrigation (which clears the tile of swamp/jungle and turns it into grassland) means a city with many jungle tiles can hardly grow unless you clear some, though. Guess it's a balance thing. Of all my misspent wastrel days of Civ 2, the majority were misspent here. I'm no expert even at this but my no expertise magnifies grossly once out of that comfort zone. Someone else must take up all the other torches. Gond knows it took enough effort for my lazy rear end to get this thing off the ground; if I tried to do all of them we'd be here until the next asteroid hits. Besides that, this is clearly labelled and advertised as a Let's Gond. I looked through all the other files and I didn't see a single Gond in any of 'em.
|
# ? Jan 21, 2017 19:04 |
|
Good lord, that Brachiosaurus. 9 defence and 60 hit points. 60. Battleships only have 40 hit points. Park that thing behind city walls and it could take on all-comers.
|
# ? Jan 21, 2017 22:18 |
|
Fun and somewhat related fact: Brachiosaurus doesn't exist anymore! Well, that's a lie. The genus Brachiosaurus is still a thing, but Brachiosaurus brancai, the most-illustrated and most-loved and most-beautiful species of Brachiosaurus, was deemed Too Special and put into its own genus: Giraffatitan. This update does exist though. I promise that very truly. And I would never alter its name without first informing YOU, the viewer. Update 5: Gond But Not Forgotten Drakyn fucked around with this message at 23:53 on Jan 26, 2017 |
# ? Jan 22, 2017 00:26 |
|
So I figured out what the trading area icon is: It's an Ankylosaurus talking to some kind of raptor I think, with a fallen tree with stuff on it between them, being used as a makeshift market stall.
|
# ? Jan 22, 2017 03:10 |
|
|
# ? Apr 19, 2024 00:22 |
|
This is kind of a ridiculous tech bounty. Does the AI just not know how to go after goodies?
|
# ? Jan 22, 2017 05:53 |