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Welcome to the thread where we discuss and make fun of the exceptionally bad but also ridiculously bad games that have been releasing on Steam since Valve stopped giving a gently caress about Greenlight and opened the floodgates. Worst shovelware you've seen in your entire life, "this is totally not the dev's fetish", games that you can't even launch, horrific art and writing, stuff like that. This is the thread equivalent of the awful Skyrim/Fallout mods threads so only post stuff that is actually hilariously bad, nobody gives a gently caress that you think Fallout 4 is trash, holy poo poo and I'll ban you for smug-posting something like that. Thread rules:
An example of things you should post: Holy poo poo, check out Miner Ultra Adventures. The video is a pro-click.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AVBcUkH1X0g Palpek fucked around with this message at 10:31 on Jan 30, 2017 |
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Jan 30, 2017 07:36
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content but then always link it and indicate it with the 
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Broadsword: Age of Chilvary There's just something really odd with the animations and the jump cuts with arrows. Truly a worthy competitor to the Total war series. Have a Youtube link to the trailer: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9PKO_-uf2oQ
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Jan 30, 2017 07:58
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http://store.steampowered.com/app/481600/ "Characters you will want to hug or... squeeze the neck" check out this sweet map 
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Jan 30, 2017 09:20
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Quest For Glory II posted:check out this sweet map 
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Jan 30, 2017 09:27
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I still think about bookworld
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Jan 30, 2017 11:44
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Palpek posted:drat, Zybourne Clock guys developed another game? when i see this every time i think the center says "RACISM" for a second
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Jan 30, 2017 12:04
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Quest For Glory II posted:I still think about bookworld "bookworld"
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Jan 30, 2017 12:04
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Quest For Glory II posted:http://store.steampowered.com/app/481600/ "More than 3 types of crazy" Bland RPG Maker games with the standard graphics packages feel like cheating. Sure, they're bad but there are hundreds of them and they all look the same except for the hilariously bad character portraits. You have to dig deep through that pile for the truly bad ones, like this "retro graphics" game with a custom battle system that looks like they were trying to rip off Undertale and failed horribly http://store.steampowered.com/app/559990 
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Jan 30, 2017 12:54
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Palpek posted:Welcome to the thread where we discuss and make fun of the exceptionally bad but also ridiculously bad games that have been releasing on Steam since Valve stopped giving a gently caress about Greenlight and opened the floodgates. Worst shovelware you've seen in your entire life, "this is totally not the dev's fetish", games that you can't even launch, horrific art and writing, stuff like that. the video is terrible, but it looks like they did in fact try to make something that's actually a game, which is saying a lot considering its peers
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Jan 30, 2017 13:25
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Quest For Glory II posted:http://store.steampowered.com/app/481600/ I would stay the gently caress away from blue shell beach.
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Jan 30, 2017 13:32
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How about an abandoned early access game with flipped assets? http://store.steampowered.com/app/375510/ Just look at these great screenshots!   
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Jan 30, 2017 16:33
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Are the bad shovelwares games that came out pre-Green Light allowed to talk about? I don't mean Bad Rats, but stuff like Horrid Henry and Eternity Child?
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Jan 30, 2017 16:50
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Good to see that honey boo boo is still getting work.Rirse posted:Are the bad shovelwares games that came out pre-Green Light allowed to talk about? I don't mean Bad Rats, but stuff like Horrid Henry and Eternity Child?
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Jan 30, 2017 17:07
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Palpek posted:Good to see that honey boo boo is still getting work. Yeah that what I meant about not stuff like Bad Rats. And as I mentioned, Eternity's Child is one of the very first third games to appear on Steam and also awful. I got gifted it a long time ago so I know first hand it bad. http://store.steampowered.com/app/19500/  I mean the art isn't bad for when it was released compare to say Miner Ultra Adventures, but it barely works at all. Think I couldn't even get into the game, as the main menu is just busted.
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Jan 30, 2017 17:18
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Do you like default assets, carrying around a music box(???) and getting mauled by a member of Blue Man Group with psoriasis? Then have I got a game for you!!! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jAlSANIBVSU
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Jan 30, 2017 18:09
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Age of Barbarian Extended Cut https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tvYV878vUJE It's kind of awesome in that B Movie style but still a pretty crappy game. In the same vein Bad rear end Babes https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HqI4WRQg_fI big nipples big life fucked around with this message at 19:41 on Jan 30, 2017 |
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Jan 30, 2017 19:34
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Stexils posted:"bookworld" 
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Jan 30, 2017 19:48
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Rirse posted:Yeah that what I meant about not stuff like Bad Rats. I got Eternity's Child when it came out, lured by the promise of a river of free upgrades and a story-filled campaign and... all I got was a badly animated platformer with abysmal collision detection. It was pretty, in a whimsical, Burtonesque way, but it played like garbage and the developer tore himself in two like Rumplestiltskin and vanished when players complained and bad reviews came in. Ragdoll Kung-Fu wasn't much better.
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Jan 30, 2017 19:56
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I wonder how much kickstarter money it would take to get obsidian to make zybourne clock for real
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Jan 30, 2017 20:06
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lazorexplosion posted:I would stay the gently caress away from blue shell beach. Just stay slightly in second place and you'll be fine.
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Jan 30, 2017 21:16
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Ol Cactus Dick posted:Age of Barbarian Extended Cut Thanks for letting me know these exist. 
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Jan 30, 2017 22:22
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Bieeardo posted:Ragdoll Kung-Fu wasn't much better. Wait, this actually came out? I remember reading a thread about it here back in like 2004, but I never saw or heard anything about it ever again so I just assumed it was never completed. I guess that fact is a testament to its quality.
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Jan 30, 2017 22:34
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Palpek posted:Holy poo poo, check out Miner Ultra Adventures. The video is a pro-click. I would have been all about this poo poo in 1996.
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Jan 30, 2017 22:54
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raditts posted:Wait, this actually came out? I remember reading a thread about it here back in like 2004, but I never saw or heard anything about it ever again so I just assumed it was never completed. Steam library says I bought it near the end of 2005, but... yeah. The weird low budget kung-fu/blaxploitation cutscenes were fun, but the gameplay was just too gimmicky to be fun unless you were very good with a mouse and highly resistant to carpal tunnel. It was cool that it launched with support for third-party skins. Less cool that one of the first was a naked Krystal from Starfox.
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Jan 31, 2017 01:13
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Ol Cactus Dick posted:Age of Barbarian Extended Cut I've had a sinful lust for this game for about 6 months now. I think it's because the game reminds me Rastan, a garbage game that somehow managed to be in every arcade I visited in my childhood. Age of Barbarian is currently on sale but I don't think I'm man enough to buy it..
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Jan 31, 2017 02:17
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Ainsley McTree posted:I wonder how much kickstarter money it would take to get obsidian to make zybourne clock for real Like a less gross version of swap.avi?
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Jan 31, 2017 02:41
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Ol Cactus Dick posted:Age of Barbarian Extended Cut I think I've seen concept art for this game on the side of a van (and I kiiiinda want to get it, but not badly enough to have any of my steam friends know that I bought it)
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Jan 31, 2017 02:52
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It's definitely one that looks to be in the so bad it's good category. Maybe if it hits a buck on sale I will pick it up I love that they picked the dick attack for the thumbnail big nipples big life fucked around with this message at 02:56 on Jan 31, 2017 |
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Jan 31, 2017 02:53
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Caveman World: Mountains of Unga Boonga reminds me of a late 90s shovelware PC title in many ways. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ritb0PQ5LOU It was 50 cents during the Steam sale and a bunch of people bought and reviewed it ironically of course. A "friend" of mine gifted it to me and it's complete loving poo poo.
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Jan 31, 2017 03:04
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Rapid Squirrel, also known as Crazy Squirrel on the actual title screen, is an incomprehensible Russian tablet game that is probably part of a money laundering scheme and is so bad that Steam themselves actually delisted it.
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Jan 31, 2017 03:12
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Here's a censored hentai game that just showed up on steam. Pale Moon Crisis     Really this post has been an excuse for me to remind everybody in here who missed their anatomy classes that breasts are not lungs, they do not expand like balloons when you breathe 
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Jan 31, 2017 03:29
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Ainsley McTree posted:I wonder how much kickstarter money it would take to get obsidian to make zybourne clock for real I was going to post a link to the followup to the other Games forum landmark goon project, The Demon Rush, but it turns out it is a Sony exclusive(?!)
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Jan 31, 2017 04:03
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FirstAidKite posted:Really this post has been an excuse for me to remind everybody in here who missed their anatomy classes that breasts are not lungs, they do not expand like balloons when you breathe in the grim darkness of the future, lady cops have extra lungs grafted into their funbags ugh you're so loving ignorant sometimes kite
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Jan 31, 2017 04:11
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All Games > Nudity Games
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Jan 31, 2017 04:13
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FirstAidKite posted:Really this post has been an excuse for me to remind everybody in here who missed their anatomy classes that breasts are not lungs, they do not expand like balloons when you breathe That's how people breathe in Thermidor, which may never show up in this thread because it probably won't get made. Rirse posted:Are the bad shovelwares games that came out pre-Green Light allowed to talk about? I don't mean Bad Rats, but stuff like Horrid Henry and Eternity Child? I'd be down for talking about things like
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Jan 31, 2017 04:23
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Yodzilla posted:All Games > Nudity Games Interesting choice of portraits in that mansion e: Spencer? I hardly know her! e2: Hey everybody, we're all gonna get arklay'd! e3: TNA-Virus, G-String-Virus, something something the bum-smella coprophiliation FirstAidKite fucked around with this message at 05:54 on Jan 31, 2017 |
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Jan 31, 2017 05:38
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FirstAidKite posted:Here's a censored hentai game that just showed up on steam. Where can I get that painting for my living room? Talk about a pale moon crisis. The Moon Monster fucked around with this message at 12:11 on Jan 31, 2017 |
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Jan 31, 2017 11:43
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The Moon Monster posted:Where can I get that painting for my living room? I believe it's a Rembrandt
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Jan 31, 2017 11:56
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raditts posted:Wait, this actually came out? I remember reading a thread about it here back in like 2004, but I never saw or heard anything about it ever again so I just assumed it was never completed. It was literally the first non-Valve game released on Steam. I remember people getting pissy about other developers getting on Steam.
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Jan 31, 2017 12:03
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Ragdoll Kung-Fu: Fists of Plastic for the PS3 was cool, I agree that the PC version sucked though.
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Jan 31, 2017 17:15
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