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We met this super cute baby and his dad in our local cafe today. His kiddo was slightly shorter than ours, and slimmer, but walking (apparently just recently started). We asked how old. 13 months. Do we have a giant 9 month old?!? I'm worried she's going to get excluded from groups for being so much bigger than her peers. Someone reassure me there are other 9 month olds out there that are 75cm and 10kg and able to cruise-almost-walk? Why do babies vary this much in size, they don't so much in the womb 
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Jan 28, 2017 06:54
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| # ? Apr 27, 2024 17:09 |
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I assure you, kids don't give a poo poo about your monster baby. Relax.
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Jan 28, 2017 07:04
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1 year olds are super cliquey, you gotta make sure they get into the cool babies croud or their entire toddler years will be ruined.
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Jan 28, 2017 07:12
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WHO Girls weight- and height-for-age 0-24 months 75cm is 98th percentile (<2% of baby girls are that long), right on the line. 10kg is over 95th percentile. My son is a Big Boy, 98th percentile height and weight. Pediatrician says everything's normal, healthy, 2% of people are in the upper 2%, growth is fine, diet is fine. Talk these things through with your pediatrician if you want professional reassurance, I know it made my partner feel a lot better. As far as walking, everyone hits milestones a little differently - being bigger doesn't mean being more advanced. Around one year old is when most kids start walking, and I hear cruising (even cruising-almost-walking) can last a while. I can second that other kids don't seem fazed at all, unless they don't understand why he doesn't talk as much. I'm sometimes worried other parents that don't know us think he's a dumb three year old rather than a big 20 month old, but that's probably just me worrying. I assume all parents get "He's growing so fast!" from acquaintances but I know how true it is!
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Jan 28, 2017 09:50
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I know kids won't care, I was thinking about the people who run playgroups for certain age ranges/ability ranges. Last thing I want is for her social options to get cut off just because she's the size of a kid much older but doesn't have the mental maturity yet to actually participate with that crowd. Our social isolation is bad enough as it is. Oh well. I can't make her grow any slower. Thank her 6'6" dad's family of Vikings I guess. Maybe I should move the family to the Nederlands where average heights are comparatively taller.
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Jan 28, 2017 12:04
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Stop being retarded. Conformity isn't the zenith of human achievement.
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Jan 28, 2017 17:01
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Don't project your fears onto your child. Nobody else will give a poo poo or cut her out of social situations at the ripe age of 9 months because she's a big baby.
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Jan 28, 2017 18:00
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Kalenn Istarion posted:Don't project your fears onto your child. Nobody else will give a poo poo or cut her out of social situations at the ripe age of 9 months because she's a big baby. This kind of retarded ocd body image projection bullshit is what drives daughters into the loving ditch of life with eating disorders.
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Jan 28, 2017 18:03
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If it makes you feel any better my kid is a late bloomer and one of the smaller kids throughout his toddlerhood, but he was walking at 9 months and has no issues wrestling with the kids twice his size now that he's 4.
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Jan 28, 2017 18:18
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I'm not talking about body image ffs. I'm talking about the organisers for these groups if they have official OH&S regulations regarding childcare playgroups that are listed for being for specific ages and sizes and abilities. I have no issue with my kid's size myself but if a playgroup organiser has to follow some principle about keeping toddlers separate and babies separate or whatever I don't know. My only worry is that she won't be allowed to attend either group. If that's not a thing then fine.
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Jan 28, 2017 22:34
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I think you're safe there
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Jan 28, 2017 22:34
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I don't think you'd have too much to worry about, I've not seen any playgroup or play centre or anything deny a child an activity because they were big for their age. If they are the same level developmentally then there shouldn't be an issue. I have the opposite problem, my son is only a little dude. At 4.5 he is on average about 2-3" shorter than his peers (and for the tall ones, he only comes up to their shoulders, hah). He gets mistaken for being younger, but that's easily corrected. I just say he's compact. In terms of descrimination though, I was just told by one of his swimming instructors that a kid that attends one of the lessons with my son was moved out of it and into another by their parent because 'I don't want my child swimming with a baby.' The swim school groups kids in lessons based on ability rather than age... the instructor laughed and said there was only 6 months between the two kids, and the parent was being a bit of a goose.
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Jan 28, 2017 23:50
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Speaking of swim lessons, when is a good age to start? Mine is almost two and loooooves the water, he spent hourd in the pool the other day and was still unhappy to leave. There was one time that was a bit scary because he got away from me and started runnung I thought he might fall in, but thankfully he did not, but I would obviously feel a lot safer knowing he could manage for at least a little while in the water and give me time to pull him out without drowning.
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Jan 29, 2017 05:00
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GlyphGryph posted:Speaking of swim lessons, when is a good age to start? Mine is almost two and loooooves the water, he spent hourd in the pool the other day and was still unhappy to leave. There was one time that was a bit scary because he got away from me and started runnung I thought he might fall in, but thankfully he did not, but I would obviously feel a lot safer knowing he could manage for at least a little while in the water and give me time to pull him out without drowning. Sooner is better than later. You can drowndproof a 6 month old, nevermind a 2 year old who can take some instruction. Especially if the kid already likes water, get right after it. Better for you, and opens up a lot of cool stuff to do.
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Jan 29, 2017 05:06
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http://www.lennykswim.com/ We just put our 4 year old in this school since they send out coupons for free lessons all the time. Fifteen minute lessons once a week. But we were able to sign up for extra slots if they were open in the month of January so we took advantage of that. First lesson he loved. Second lesson he did not like at all. Third lesson he refused to get out of the car. Fourth lesson refused again and I once again carried him in to the gym. After the fourth lesson he loves it and wants to know when his next lesson is. He's always liked the water and goes out with me on my surfboard. Our two year old comes with us to watch the lessons and is vocal about not wanting lessons 😀 She'll get them soon enough. Until then it's just keeping her in arms length around pools.
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Jan 29, 2017 05:45
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I started him when he was around 14 months, after we went to a birthday party for one of his little friends and he just ploughed into the water in the baby pool, walking toward the deep end and tried to keep going even after his feet left the ground. Figured he needed some water sense after that. He does 2 x 1/2 hr lessons a week and while a good portion of it is spent on learning to swim (freestyle, backstroke) they still spend a few minutes on safety aspects and get them to fall in, turn around and swim back to an edge.
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Jan 29, 2017 09:16
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All of ours started baby swimming lessons more or less as soon as possible (~3 months or so) and have kept/will keep going until able to swim properly.
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Jan 29, 2017 09:50
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Man watching a twonyear old play is so weird sometimes. Its like they are involved in some SERIOUS business, all work, super committed to outting that little cone on that little stick on top of that truck, and filling up that bucket with rocks, and then carefully lining all the trains up side by side in the same direction, one at a time, with the crane. Also he has his own toy tools now and he has been "helping" me with a carpentry project I have been working on, it is adorable the dedication he puts into "drilling" holes and putting screws in them, although he gets mad he cant fit the screws onto the end of the screwdriver the way I do, hahah
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Jan 29, 2017 16:19
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We're a month into our first swim lessons (started at 11 months) - he loves it and has no fear of the water which makes it really fun. I think at this age they are just trying to get them comfortable with water, and getting them to instinctually turn over and float on their back if they fall in. So we do a lot of dunking them in, then flipping them to their backs. You don't learn strokes or how to swim per se.
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Jan 29, 2017 20:37
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What's your collective take on kids and tablets? I was reading about how researchers feel like letting little kids play with tablets prevents them from managing emotions when they are upset or bored. The tablet becomes a mental pacifier and parents end up taking the path of least resistance. I'm sure most goons have met maladjusted adults that were incapable of dealing with being uncomfortable; picky eaters refusing to try new foods, inability to deal with conflict, anger management problems, etc. I'll bet that at least some of these adults were coddled in some way as children, and didn't seem to learn the skills needed to manage anxiety, anger, or even boredom. But I dunno. There's always going to be hand wringing about technology and how it affects our culture. I'm not sure this is any different than kids watching television, or listening to 'rock music' or anything else people were convinced would destroy children intellectually. I doubt that in pre-Internet/television/radio times kids were these hyper focused emotionless automatons so how much would letting a little kid play educational games on a tablet really warp them? Panfilo fucked around with this message at 16:34 on Jan 30, 2017 |
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Jan 30, 2017 16:30
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nyerf posted:I'm not talking about body image ffs. I'm talking about the organisers for these groups if they have official OH&S regulations regarding childcare playgroups that are listed for being for specific ages and sizes and abilities. I have no issue with my kid's size myself but if a playgroup organiser has to follow some principle about keeping toddlers separate and babies separate or whatever I don't know. My only worry is that she won't be allowed to attend either group. If that's not a thing then fine. I understand your fears. My 2 1/2 year old is a giant. Whenever someone guesses his age, they always guess 4 or 5. Having worked in childcare and education, I can say that your child will not be excluded for their size. Group sets and laws are based completely on age. I will say that you are right to have some concerns. Bigger kids, especially girls, are often expected to act the age they look rather than the age they are. You just need to be aware of this and keep an eye out for it. Usually, a quick reminder of her age does the trick. It's good to remind yourself sometimes too, because even we fall prey to that. As for walking, my kiddo had all of the skills down for walking at 8 months, but would not walk. He insisted on having his hand touching something, not holding onto anything, just touching. He didn't walk until a month after his first birthday, a week after his buddy (who is 4 months younger than him) started walking. It's really hard to predict anything with children's development.
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Jan 30, 2017 17:27
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My kid plays on a tablet. Like anything else he does there are guidelines and time limits.
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Jan 30, 2017 17:27
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Like TV watching, it depends. If you actively engage with your child with what they're watching/playing with, I think it (tablets/screen time) can be really beneficial. If it's used as a crutch for the parent, then I don't find it does a lot of good.
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Jan 30, 2017 17:27
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I dunno, I don't think tablet use in and of itself is necessarily bad. What I think IS bad is, as was mentioned, using it as a mental pacifier. "Bobby is screaming at the restaurant again, just give him the tablet so he'll be quiet and we can eat in peace." I get needing to do it every now and then, but every time? It doesn't seem good. That said, I've also noticed significant behavior changes when my 2.5 year old has too much tablet or screen time. We get a significant uptick in tantrums and emotionally fragility that doesn't seem to happen if we are watching something interactively together or if she is left to her own devices drawing or doing a puzzle or something.
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Jan 30, 2017 17:32
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Mine definitely needs to have limited tablet time or he starts craving and demanding it (and of course once that starts he never gets it, but damned does he want it). On the other hand, it's super nice to be able to have a half hour or an hour where you can get stuff done without him clinging to your heels once in a while, and the tablet (or a show, which is, imo, a tablet but worse) is the only way that really works aside from assigning another adult to keep them occupied for the time period.
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Jan 30, 2017 18:40
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What's wrong with giving it to a kid at a restaurant or on a plane or whatever to keep them quiet? I certainly don't expect my three year old to be happy only by making conversation for an hour plus while we are out to eat. If he can play on the tablet for a bit while we all finish our meals, who cares. My expectations would be different fot a 10 year old, but seriously what's the difference if a young kid keeps himself busy by doing a puzzle game on the tablet or coloring in a coloring book? Both are good distractions so that you can finish what you are doing with a kid who usually cannot developmentally sit and do nothing for a long length of time.
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Jan 30, 2017 19:13
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I'd hazard a guess every adult is on their electronic devices much more than their young kids, so if it's really that big a deal to you it probably will work best to model the behavior yourself that you expect from your kids with regard to screen time.
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Jan 30, 2017 19:15
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Grandma got our kid a tablet for Christmas. Sort of upset about that one. We use it as a reward for good behavior. We also let him use it on the weekends when he wakes up before us. I have to get up at 5:30/6am all week long, I just want to sleep in till 7/7:30 a few days a week. We're working with him to try an realize that mommy and daddy don't need to be entertaining him 24/7 when we're at home. He has a real issue with the ability to play by himself. He's 4. I shouldn't need to stare at him all weekend long while he puts puzzles together. I've resorted to letting him use the tablet after school sometimes so I can just freaking cook dinner. I don't mind it that much for that amount of time. He's been out at school all day socializing and dealing with people. Everyone needs some alone time to decompress.
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Jan 30, 2017 19:35
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Man, and I thought I had it bad with my 2.5 year old. God speed Alterian.
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Jan 30, 2017 20:33
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We save our tablets for airplanes and very rarely on lazy afternoons to kill time. My oldest (6) gets weird about tablets, he throws major tantrums when his time runs out and he generally gets obsessed with them. I always wondered if I gave him a tablet for as much as he wanted he might get sick of it, but he played on one for 9 hours straight on a flight back from Australia so I'm guessing he'd play it until his eyes bleed.
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Jan 30, 2017 23:12
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VorpalBunny posted:We save our tablets for airplanes and very rarely on lazy afternoons to kill time. My oldest (6) gets weird about tablets, he throws major tantrums when his time runs out and he generally gets obsessed with them. I always wondered if I gave him a tablet for as much as he wanted he might get sick of it, but he played on one for 9 hours straight on a flight back from Australia so I'm guessing he'd play it until his eyes bleed. I have the same issues with our 3 year old. I stopped giving him the tablet entirely because the tantrums from time running out were major blowups. We let him watch some semi educational stuff now on weekends and on weekdays he just plays with his trains. I'd like a quiet afternoon but letting him use the tablet is more trouble than it's worth for us.
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Jan 30, 2017 23:55
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sheri posted:What's wrong with giving it to a kid at a restaurant or on a plane or whatever to keep them quiet? I certainly don't expect my three year old to be happy only by making conversation for an hour plus while we are out to eat. If he can play on the tablet for a bit while we all finish our meals, who cares. Like others have said, I dont know the causal relationship but it very much leads to all sorts of terrible behaviours, and he gets so fascinated with it that nothing else is good enough and he doesnt want to stop and he wont do other things because he wants it back afterwards. On top of that, it doesnt even seem to making him particularly happy when he is using it! Lots of similiarities with an adult screen addict, really.
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Jan 31, 2017 00:47
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GlyphGryph posted:Like others have said, I dont know the causal relationship but it very much leads to all sorts of terrible behaviours, and he gets so fascinated with it that nothing else is good enough and he doesnt want to stop and he wont do other things because he wants it back afterwards. Same. I know slippery slope and all that, but giving it to a kid at dinner time when we are out never seems to give them the chance to behave and see behaviors being modeled. It starts as a convenience - but I've seen firsthand plenty of kids start that way and then it turns into them having the tablet glued to them as the years go by, no matter where they are or what's going on around them. Having seen what that end-game looks like in 10 year olds, and at what the stages look like at 3-6 years old... it's not a road I like going down, personally. I know my kid is a weird anomaly at 2.5 but sometimes it's fun to go out with her to eat and have conversations and enjoy being where we are together. She's gotten pretty used to it and the behaviors we expect of her in restaurants. Obviously sometimes she's still two and unreasonable and we do what we gotta do, but I've also gotten better over the years at disarming and redirecting, too.
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Jan 31, 2017 03:20
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cailleask posted:I know my kid is a weird anomaly at 2.5 but sometimes it's fun to go out with her to eat and have conversations and enjoy being where we are together. She's gotten pretty used to it and the behaviors we expect of her in restaurants. Obviously sometimes she's still two and unreasonable and we do what we gotta do, but I've also gotten better over the years at disarming and redirecting, too. We did a lot of "observing" before we had kids, and the ones that never really went to restaurants or weren't expected to entertain themselves at the table were terrible for years and years. The ones that were taken to Dennys every once in a while and were told to stay in their seat, don't throw stuff, eat their food and not scream, etc were much better behaved as they got older. I also know parents that pre-emptively plop their kids in front of tablets, like as soon as they ware seated at a table. That is always sad, I never am able to engage that kid in any way during the meal and my kids don't interact with them either. But if it works, go for it. I'm sure I do a lot of stuff other parents roll their eyes at and talk poo poo about in online forums.
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Jan 31, 2017 03:59
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Ditto for going to the movies. Taking young kids to (age appropriate) movies helps model good behavior at the theater and other quiet places. We have some relatives who were afraid to take their kids to the movies because they thought it would be an ordeal. Then we'd babysit them and get to take them to the movies for the first time and they would be fine, in part because we'd have their cousins who were a few years older along too. My wife would make these little snack kits for each kid with grapes, a tiny water bottle, and a little bit of candy. And every kid old enough to safely eat popcorn without choking tended to be so preoccupied with wolfing down popcorn to be too fussy or fidgety.
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Jan 31, 2017 04:53
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Tablets seem mostly positive to me, the kids are learning english on their own thanks to tablets. We have never brought it with us though, it's always an at home thing.
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Jan 31, 2017 07:33
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His Divine Shadow posted:Tablets seem mostly positive to me, the kids are learning english on their own thanks to tablets. We have never brought it with us though, it's always an at home thing. As with so many other things, good in moderation. I admit we sometimes allow more screentime than we strictly speaking should, but if (like this past week) both parents are sick, for example, it's nice to have that crutch to lean on.
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Jan 31, 2017 11:27
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VorpalBunny posted:We did a lot of "observing" before we had kids, and the ones that never really went to restaurants or weren't expected to entertain themselves at the table were terrible for years and years. The ones that were taken to Dennys every once in a while and were told to stay in their seat, don't throw stuff, eat their food and not scream, etc were much better behaved as they got older. Ditto this. We're still expecting, but have been doing the observation thing for a while. My friends went out with their 2 and 3 year olds to a restaurant/bar with me, and the kids were especially well behaved. At home they're mostly on blocks, coloring books, and the occasional Daniel Tiger show or similar. They don't get a bunch of toys at restaurants, they just sit and talk to each other or watch us. They obviously get antsy after a while, but could sit through an hour long meal. Meanwhile, we have other friends who have done the toys-coloring-tablet pacification thing at restaurants or other social situations, and they're quite often awful. The more I observe the more I get the feeling that the old school method of treating kids as "inferior adults" and letting them learn through direct immersion and example works better in the long run. As for tablets though, we don't see it being an issue as we don't own one and don't plan on buying one any time soon. 
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Jan 31, 2017 14:15
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LogisticEarth posted:Ditto this. We're still expecting, but have been doing the observation thing for a while. My friends went out with their 2 and 3 year olds to a restaurant/bar with me, and the kids were especially well behaved. At home they're mostly on blocks, coloring books, and the occasional Daniel Tiger show or similar. They don't get a bunch of toys at restaurants, they just sit and talk to each other or watch us. They obviously get antsy after a while, but could sit through an hour long meal. I think there is one more piece to this puzzle that is missed in the observing--family dinners. I think most people who take their kids out regularly and teach them to be able to interact at meals also tend to be the ones who sit down to a family dinner table. We have done so ever since our 2 1/2 year old was born. We started with just holding him and then when he was big enough to sit in a high chair we bought a keekaroo chair with infant insert (Stokke is another popular one, Ikea sells a cheap table height high chair if you're on a budget) so that he could sit directly at the table from the start. I think it is important to make them a part of the family meals, even if they aren't eating solids yet. They learn a lot just from observing you. As for tablets and screens in general. We avoided it for as long as possible and now it is a problem. Like everyone else said, it is a slippery slope. Now he is always keeping his eyes out for a phone in reach. This morning he hurt himself trying to climb up to the high shelf my phone is charging on. Incidentally, I'm really picky about the kinds of toys that come into our house because of my background in child development. We don't have the typical plastic, electronic/musical does the play/imagining for you toys that most kids have. He has really great active and imaginative play that can last for hours, but the second he notices a phone out he'll snatch it up and be glued. It's like toddler crack. He's become quite the little pickpocket too. It's quite frightening how obsessed they get with it. He's been getting a lot of it lately because of potty training (it's the only thing that helps him relax enough to go potty and motivates him to go). As soon as we get that down better, I plan on scaling it back to my previous rule of he only gets screens when I tutor. I also think content matters. I'm already having that battle with my son. Never thought I'd be arguing over content with a 2 1/2 year old, but if he sees me do something once he can do it. I've found locking it down is important. For android devices I found the kidzone app to be good and worth the $2.99.
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Jan 31, 2017 14:46
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| # ? Apr 27, 2024 17:09 |
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LogisticEarth posted:Ditto this. We're still expecting, but have been doing the observation thing for a while. My friends went out with their 2 and 3 year olds to a restaurant/bar with me, and the kids were especially well behaved. At home they're mostly on blocks, coloring books, and the occasional Daniel Tiger show or similar. They don't get a bunch of toys at restaurants, they just sit and talk to each other or watch us. They obviously get antsy after a while, but could sit through an hour long meal. Alternatively, your one friends could have birthed calmer kids than your others and the things they do with them are the result of parents adapting their parenting to their kids personalities than the other way around. Kids are born with their own ideas and personalities. Parenting plays way less of a part than you might think in most situations. I'm sure you'll figure that out when yours arrives. Not just applicable to tablets, toys, and screen time. Applicable to everything.
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Jan 31, 2017 15:23
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