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Kalenn Istarion posted:And you sound like an rear end in a top hat. Yes I agree. lovely parenting and maybe the fact that these kids aren't as smart as you think they are didn't factor at all. We all know that permissive, self esteem focused parenting and schooling have revolutionized the nasty Victorian workhouses known as public schools. Instead, we must ensure that our precious little Einsteins progress through life knowing that their inability to reach their full potential isn't their own fault at all so as not to needlessly diminish their greatness.
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Feb 22, 2017 18:46
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eating only apples posted:Was it pollicization again for both? I had a nosy through your post history out of interest and you mentioned a long time ago that one of the kids had a more functional thumb, did that not end up working out? One of them (David) had enough to work with on his right hand, that worked out OK though the doctor wants to do another surgery on that hand to deepen the webspace and orient it more like a thumb yet. Daniel got the pollicization on his right hand and that's worked out well. Now they both got their left hands "pollicized". Daniel tends to pick up smaller things using his middle and ring finger. Bigger things like legos he tend to pick up using a normal grip, one example I can think of today was he started playing with the central vacuum and he held the handle normally and used his thumb to flip the switch on and off. That was well done I thought, precisely the kind of thing I was hoping he could learn to do. I don't have any real close up of his hands, best I could find  (Daniel is behind David in this one)   As for the school thing, in finland we don't even have gifted programs. I don't think I really hold with it either, and it doesn't seem it's needed here. https://www.theatlantic.com/education/archive/2014/03/finnish-education-chief-we-created-a-school-system-based-on-equality/284427/
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Feb 22, 2017 19:06
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namaste faggots posted:Yes I agree. lovely parenting and maybe the fact that these kids aren't as smart as you think they are didn't factor at all. We all know that permissive, self esteem focused parenting and schooling have revolutionized the nasty Victorian workhouses known as public schools. Instead, we must ensure that our precious little Einsteins progress through life knowing that their inability to reach their full potential isn't their own fault at all so as not to needlessly diminish their greatness. ??? Wow dude, maybe chill a little? It shouldn't be a mystery that different kids benefit from different learning environments. Some kids really crave order and structure, and some need to be left free to their own devices as long as possible. Some kids will naturally rise to the extents of their ability, and some need some extrinsic motivation. Different learning styles and personalities and capabilities need different teaching styles. Mixed-age true Montessori works really well for my kid. Reggio-Emelia really wasn't for her, despite the fact that it appealed more to me as a parent.
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Feb 22, 2017 19:10
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Tom Swift Jr. posted:So, I learned about Montessori in my Undergrad program and was doing some research into various schooling options recently. Based on best practices, Montessori gets a lot of things right, but it also gets some things wrong. A lot of people (including myself) like the emphasis on self-help skills, the emphasis on learning peace and empathy, the child-led approach (the kids are free to choose to play with whatever they want), and the idea of respecting the child. The good news, is that these are best practices and are generally done in any good program these days. I will say, that Montessori teachers are generally well-trained and so there may be more consistency in getting a caregiver who really knows their stuff in these areas. Montessori classrooms seem more peaceful and calm, with the kids busy at work (highly engaged) and that appeals to parents as well. When I started looking into programs for my kid (he's almost 3 and I'm beginning to figure out what I want to do for his education), I discovered that there are two accrediting agencies for Montessori and although they started from the same place, they diverged and so schools associated with one or the other can be quite different. One is much more rigid and if you go online and see parents complaining about their montessori experiences, it is usually that kind. The other one is the one that most people rave about. The more I looked into Montessori, I decided it just isn't what I think is best. It gets academic results, which is another reason why it's popular, but I don't think it follows best practices to get there. I was working with a couple of kids who were attending a really good Montessori school and the work they were bringing home had a lot of bad or outdated teaching practices. Do I think kids will do well in their program? Sure. I think they get a lot of very good social/emotional skills from the program that will serve them very well in life, but I think the learning side of things is not done the best and so I'd rather find a program that uses best practices for both domains. Do you remember which accreditation program is which? I'm starting to look at preschools for my son and the one closest to our house is Montessori. I haven't toured it yet, but that would be a great question to ask about.
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Feb 22, 2017 19:52
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Tom Swift Jr. posted:Yes to all of this! These are my son's (almost 3) favorites too. Unit blocks are a must. Kids learn a lot of math concepts when playing with unit blocks and they are just great fun. For instruments, I find more realistic instruments are the best. Kids appreciate the real sounds and feels and their play leads to learning how to actually play an instrument later on. He has a travel guitar, a drum, a harmonica, and recorder, and seems to enjoy all of them. (technically the guitar is mine, but he loves plucking the strings when he's not making me play background music to his recorder/harmonica/singing) Fake instruments are bad and annoying and I absolutely do not understand the point of it. Seems actively harmful is anything. Also, are there any, like... Montesorri-style public schools? And if not, why not?
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Feb 22, 2017 20:13
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GlyphGryph posted:
Our county has magnet Montessori public schools. I despise the lottery system in general to get our kid into a Charter or magnet school. With my luck I'm just waiting to have to decide if we're going to pay for private school or not.
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Feb 23, 2017 02:31
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So to ask a more specific toy question, my son's learning to be more stable sitting up and will be standing/cruising soon. I stayed away from jumperoos and exersaucers and walkers etc, but I'm looking for a pusher type toy like (https://smile.amazon.com/Fisher-Pri...1&tag=brikil-20) to help him with the transition.
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Feb 23, 2017 03:29
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Rurutia posted:So to ask a more specific toy question, my son's learning to be more stable sitting up and will be standing/cruising soon. I stayed away from jumperoos and exersaucers and walkers etc, but I'm looking for a pusher type toy like (https://smile.amazon.com/Fisher-Pri...1&tag=brikil-20) to help him with the transition. This walker wagon has been pretty great and has grown with the kids. https://www.amazon.com/Radio-Flyer-Classic-Walker-Wagon/dp/B00KN0LSUI/ The metal bar means that you need to watch how quickly you accelerate when pushing them around in it.
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Feb 23, 2017 04:25
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We have this one and it's very stable and my son likes pushing it https://www.amazon.com/Educo-E0370-Hape-Wonder-Walker/dp/B0040ZL96K But honestly he also likes pushing chairs, the garbage can, random boxes, etc. We have a ukulele for my son because he was so interested in the music teacher's guitar. She recommended it because it's smaller for little hands and it's a real instrument that's quite affordable. She also says that kids know real from toy and will respect real instruments more.
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Feb 23, 2017 04:40
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Rurutia posted:So to ask a more specific toy question, my son's learning to be more stable sitting up and will be standing/cruising soon. I stayed away from jumperoos and exersaucers and walkers etc, but I'm looking for a pusher type toy like (https://smile.amazon.com/Fisher-Pri...1&tag=brikil-20) to help him with the transition. I really like the Melissa & Doug alligator walker, which someone in this thread recommended a couple years ago: http://a.co/2NKCcV3 It wasn't awful to put together, three alligator heads chomp-chomp-chomp adorably as the walker is pushed (or dragged or pulled), and my son still loves it a year later.
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Feb 23, 2017 05:03
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namaste faggots posted:Yes I agree. lovely parenting and maybe the fact that these kids aren't as smart as you think they are didn't factor at all. We all know that permissive, self esteem focused parenting and schooling have revolutionized the nasty Victorian workhouses known as public schools. Instead, we must ensure that our precious little Einsteins progress through life knowing that their inability to reach their full potential isn't their own fault at all so as not to needlessly diminish their greatness. The Strawest of Mans
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Feb 23, 2017 08:22
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Just looking for some opinions/past experiences from anyone that has considered or done similar: We currently live about an hour from nearly all of our family (both sets of grand parents, aunts uncles etc) and have been playing with the idea of moving back there to be much closer, have much more support etc. Our kids are about 28 and 7 months and that extra help is awfully appealing. Right now it's see the grand parents every 2-4 weekends either them coming here or vice versa. Of course moving means a commute for me (though not through horrible traffic) moving away from our friends here, and, probably what's holding he back the most, moving from a region of about 550,000 to a town of about 16,000. Obviously fewer amenities, etc. We just cannot decide what's best for us. Any and all opinions are appreciated.
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Feb 25, 2017 10:05
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A commute every day to work will be worse and more soul crushing and have a much bigger impact on your time than living just an hour away from the grandparents. poo poo, if an hour's travel is so bad that you only see your folks every ~2-4 weekends, why would you want to make that kind of commute 5 times a week? Also, how often do you REALLY want to see the folks? Having them within range just to drop by without planning or advance notice sounds like a loving nightmare to me. About 45-60 minutes away is, imo, the perfect distance. It's close enough for emergency support, babysitting, and frequent visits. It's easily close enough to make day trips every weekend if you really wanted to. It's also far enough away that you have some buffer space and you don't have grandma+grandpa inviting themselves over all the loving time. Also consider: The help might seem appealing right now, but how much will you need that help in a year? 2 years? Is extra help now worth buying a house out in West Bumfuck that you might still be in 5 years from now? Literally everything about moving out there sounds terrible to me.
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Feb 25, 2017 11:23
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We moved back towards my wife's parents for sake of childcare for our daughter. We went from an hour away to being 10 minutes away. From Evanston, IL to Cary. However, we have tried to make the best of it in the new area and have made it work. That part is key. We're renting a gigantic 4k sq ft house for slightly more than our old apartment which was 1/3 the size, and our daughter became much happier having a place to run around (the entire basement). On the flip side we used to be able to walk everywhere and being more middle of nowhere ish in the area closer to her parents has some downsides as mentioned: less options/amenities. It's been both good and bad, but overall they give better childcare than we could get elsewhere and it's turned her parents from generally crotchety people into very loving and supportive family. Our thoughts now are that once she's ready for preschool parents can take a break. So I think the one line summary I can give is: you have to pick what's important to you.
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Feb 25, 2017 12:07
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This kind of decision is really personal so I feel for you on how hard it must be to decide. My thoughts are the opposite of Khizan's. Both my wife's and my parents live within 4 minutes of us and for us it is the best thing ever. Our 4 month old gets endless grandparents time, and we get plenty of time to run errands and such baby free. Of course this relies on the fact that our extended families are super tight. There is usually an inlaw around the house every other day, and to us that is really important so our son will be very close with his grandparents as he grows up. Does your work have any telecommuting options to reduce your commute days? Are there any job opportunities closer to the potential move location?
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Feb 25, 2017 14:17
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Hour there and hour back commutes are soul-sucking. Would your kids be in daycare? Would family be watching them instead? Do you know 100% that they would watch them for you while you work? Where do you look for daycare? Near your work so if they get sick and there's an emergency you can get them asap or close to your house so it takes an hour to go and get them. If you have it near your work then you're looking at your kids also dealing with the commute to. How much would your commute affect your at-home time during the week with your kids? We sold our house this summer to move closer to our jobs. My commute was about an hour with traffic and it was horrible. We're renting close to our jobs now. My commute home is about 12 minutes and if I need to pop home in the middle of the day for something its not a big deal. My parents live 12 hours away and my husband's parents live 5 hours away so its not like that was a factor. Personally myself I would go bananas if one of my parents or my husband's parents were at our house every other day. His parents are alcoholics and my mom has diagnosed mental issues though. 
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Feb 25, 2017 14:25
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Thanks for all the replies, love the opinions on both sides of the fence. My wife is going to be staying home if we move or not so no issues there. Maybe I'm being naive but the commute doesn't weigh that heavily on me. I currently take public transit to work, taking 45-50 minutes door to door. The drive is not clogged highways but well moving 2 lane roads pretty much the entire way. And yeah, we have good relationships with both sets of grand parents and extended family for the most part, I wouldn't have an issue with drop ins etc. Edit: oh and I do work from home 1 day a week right now and would have flexibility that say on a lovely weather day in the winter I could just work from home. Banana_Boy fucked around with this message at 16:08 on Feb 25, 2017 |
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Feb 25, 2017 15:59
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That's a tough dilemma you're in because I know with us we have the best of both worlds. I wonder if peoples opinions are based on their relationships with their parents; if the grandparents are cool people it comes off as kind of rude to treat free babysitting as a huge burden. My sister in law lived close enough that both sets of grandparents helped out with childcare which was hugely helpful for her career. Conversely my brother insists on living where he does even though my dad and stepmom don't help him for poo poo (in contrast, my mom and I will drive 4 hours just to look after their kids for the weekend here and there) and he pays more in daycare than he does in rent plus his commute is some insane 3 hour ordeal but he refuses to move closer to work or family because he loves it so much in the ~country~.
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Feb 25, 2017 17:13
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Banana_Boy posted:Thanks for all the replies, love the opinions on both sides of the fence. How are the schools in the town you'd be moving to compared to where you are now? If your door to door is already 45 mins and you already have a home day what would be the new commute time? I think it really does come down to how close you are with your family. Like I posted last time, family is really important to us so if I was in you shoes I'd probably make the move. Though schools and child play areas would still be a big determining factor as well.
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Feb 25, 2017 17:35
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We don't really have a choice about moving but my folks live about 3-5 hours away, wife's folks live about 2 hours away out in the countryside, and we don't really have any reliable friends for child minding; so basically we're on our own. It's a bit of a shitter when sickness rears it's ugly head or other emergencies, as we pretty much need to trade using up each other's holiday allowance and the good graces of each other's work place. We do employ a childminder to take care of kiddo during the day and he gets delivered back to me shortly after I get home in the evening, to be honest money is the number one factor in all of this... we're only just getting to buy a house now as the inlaws decided to let go of some house equity as an early inheritance, otherwise that would've been a distant dream and trying to deal with ever rising rent charges. Personally living near family sounds like a nightmare, I like 'em both but I can only tolerate being around ether for a day or two tops... having random visits would drive me batty.
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Feb 25, 2017 18:46
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Banana_Boy posted:Thanks for all the replies, love the opinions on both sides of the fence. We miss having grandparents nearby and that's worth more than many might think. We had them around when our first son was very young and it's a noticeable absence. That commute isn't that bad at all esp if you're already commuting, just gotta find some audiobooks to keep it interesting, and the flex days mean you can just opt out when the roads are bad, seems like a no brainer to me. I grew up in a town even smaller than that one - you find more to do at home and just plan trips into the larger city to get your dose of culture. You can always move back to the city once your kids are older.
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Feb 25, 2017 20:55
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Hour + highway commutes get expensive too. The wear on your car and the weekly gas bill add up fast.
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Feb 25, 2017 22:39
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Not always, Alterian. That entirely depends on how someone has to drive. As I said, I've moved kinda like what banana was considering - which also means my commute is 50 minutes. However, in my previous location my commute was also 50mins-hour. The difference is that I drive far more mileage (50mins/28 miles now and 50mins/12 miles before). I am now making better mileage than my car is even rated for, and the occasional tolls don't really matter either. Going from ~23mi/gallon to ~28/gallon on the same car is significant on costs, too. The stress on the car has actually noticeably reduced. Also driving this far and this quickly is immensely peaceful through forests vs my 50mins/10mile drive from before that was immensely rage-filled bumper to bumper. This is something I never knew to appreciate before I moved to a far less populated area. vvvv: yep, in a good way not a bad one. I've done the hour train ride commute and found it better in every way. notwithoutmyanus fucked around with this message at 15:53 on Feb 26, 2017 |
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Feb 25, 2017 23:40
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An hour + driving each way is a lot different than taking public transport
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Feb 26, 2017 04:39
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Immaculate Darita Feb 26, 2017 Shaquin posted: instead of "The Laughing Man" we have "Retard Dare" and he is a menace to the cyberstream i love u tho and want to get married pls take me on date u r most beautiful girl i ever seen srsly LOL uh oh i guess im hosed http://www.tribalwar.com/forums/sho....php?p=18727172 # ? Feb 26, 2017 05:07 Profile Post History Rap Sheet Edit Quote Immaculate Darita Feb 26, 2017 Go Back TribalWar Forums > TribalWar Community > General Discussion Reload this Page Harlequin Romance Novels Is Obscene Pornography 100% Absolutely Every Time . Welcome, spockhammer. | Log Out You last visited: 02-25-2017 at 03:20 PM Private Messages: Unread 0, Total 267. Thread Tools spockhammer VeteranX Contributor Old 1 - 02-25-2017, 11:44 PM Edit/Delete Message Reply With Quote Multi-Quote This Message Quick reply to this message She had never felt so helpless or s completely at the mercy of another human being.. a being who could snap the slender column of her body with one squeeze of a steel clad arm. No Trace of tenderness softened the harsh pressure of his mouth on hers... there was only a savagely punishing intentess of purpose that cut off the breath until her sense reeled and her body sagged against the granite hardness of his, he released her wrists, seeming to know that they would hang helplessly at her sides, and his hand moved to the small of her back to exert a pressure that crushed her soft outlines to the unyielding dominance of his and left her in no doubt as the force his masculinity. The books uphold the values of their readers who share this fear of break-ing social codes, but behind these reassur-ingly familiar restraints they celebrate a wild, eager sexuality which flourish and is finally affirmed in "marriage," which Parisi sees as mainly a code word for "gently caress." And this is how Harlequin Romance Novels castigate women into The Patriarchy Matrix. Life In The Patriarchal Matrix GGz give me my PHD now. # ? Feb 26, 2017 05:07 Profile Post History Rap Sheet Edit Quote Immaculate Darita Feb 26, 2017 https://lifeinthepatriarchalmatrix.wordpress.com/
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Feb 26, 2017 06:10
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Have you discussed the move with your extended family and would they really do a lot of babysitting or is that just an assumption you have? We live 40 minutes from my parents and 10 minutes from my inlaws but honestly we don't get a ton of help from them. They are busy with their own plans and travels and are not that interested in babysitting. When we moved here I assumed they would help a lot but it hasn't come to fruition.
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Feb 26, 2017 12:54
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My 4-month-old has recently learned how to give tummy time a nonverbal "lol, gently caress this" by rolling onto his back. I am glad he can do this, but it makes getting all his tummy time pretty difficult. Some days I can keep him distracted or happy enough to get decent sessions in, but other days sessions last 2 minutes, tops. Can I stop stressing about getting a full 20 minutes a day at this point, provided he gets plenty of play time and I still at least try the tummy time several times a day?
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Feb 28, 2017 22:32
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He's enjoying his newfound ability! Hurray! We found spreading tummy time out over a couple or three sessions helped, and I'm not sure we ever got more than 5 minutes a session. The flipping is good muscle development, which is what tummy time is all about. And really, if he's flipping himself over front to back, he'll be doing the opposite soon too, and then he's off to the races. You should be fine.
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Feb 28, 2017 22:35
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Do you ever babywear? It works the same muscles as tummy time. I wore my baby constantly and so I never really worried about tummy time.
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Feb 28, 2017 22:54
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Hi_Bears posted:Do you ever babywear? It works the same muscles as tummy time. I wore my baby constantly and so I never really worried about tummy time. He likes/tolerates it for short periods of time, and only with dad, while in motion. Guess I need to come up with more baby-friendly chores to foist on my husband.
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Feb 28, 2017 23:09
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ArmadilloConspiracy posted:My 4-month-old has recently learned how to give tummy time a nonverbal "lol, gently caress this" by rolling onto his back. I am glad he can do this, but it makes getting all his tummy time pretty difficult. Some days I can keep him distracted or happy enough to get decent sessions in, but other days sessions last 2 minutes, tops. This is pretty much the goal of tummy time. Your kid is already rad. Relax. Next he'll be crawling around yanking out electrical plugs.
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Mar 1, 2017 00:45
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namaste faggots posted:
Ugh. Just let me finish vacuuming this room before you pull it out for the fifth time. Am I right!
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Mar 1, 2017 06:56
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What age did all yours start whispering? My just two turned two year old loves it. It is adorable. He is finally stringing four word sentences together too. Mostly in response us doing something he wanted wrong. He asked me to sit last night so I sat in the chair and he gets frustrated and says "No! Me, baby, sit!" making it clear he had been asking me to put him in the chair, not to sit in it myself. God two year olds are just the absolute best. And hes so good at putting away his toys when he's doing good at using the toilet and god, its just all so easy, at least when he isnt sick, and he is just so much fun and and he runs up to visit me at the end of the work day and gives me a big hug and says he loves me, and it makes my life so much better and god drat was this the best decision I ever made. So when does it start turning hard again?
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Mar 3, 2017 05:40
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In about 24 hours when he stops caring about your opinions, glyph. There will be tons of fun but from here on independence only goes in one direction whether they can handle it or not, they're going to try and figure it out. They also start making poo poo up as they learn to communicate better. My daughter whom is about the same age as your son has been naming her dolls recently (including names we've never told her before nor do we have acquaintances or books with that name). She named a doll Cindy  However the entertainment was tonight where she said she has a baby coming and told us the baby's name was going to be apple cider. She also asks us if everything from stuffed animals to actual animals and people poop, nurse, and also what they eat, and asked how my day was. Pandas nursing vs cats vs dolphins vs frogs etc.
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Mar 3, 2017 06:09
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Today my two year old had a twenty minute shrieking tantrum because I asked her if she wanted to brush her teeth or if she wanted her dad to do it. Choice bits include: "You're NOT the boss of me mom and dad! I'm in charge! I'm the boss of mom and dad! Not you!!!" It was complete with foot stomping and rage-peeing on the floor. Lovely. Just you wait, Glyph.
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Mar 3, 2017 06:58
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I kinda love this independence thing though! Our kid was always insanely adamant ever since she was a baby, and now is the first time things are running smoothly pretty much since she was born, just because there's at least an easy strategy: "oh man, I sure will enjoy putting on these boots and going to the bus which is for mommies only" "NOOOOO they're MY boots and MY bus, I want to go on the buuuuus  ""mommy, will you please brush my teeth for me so I can go to bed?" "NOOOOO brush MY teeth it's MY turn to go to bed "I realize this gravy train will end eventually but right now I'm loving it.
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Mar 3, 2017 08:13
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notwithoutmyanus posted:My daughter whom is about the same age as your son has been naming her dolls recently (including names we've never told her before nor do we have acquaintances or books with that name). She named a doll Cindy That sounds absolutely adorable. Public Serpent posted:"oh man, I sure will enjoy putting on these boots and going to the bus which is for mommies only" I have greatly been enjoying the opportuniy to Bugs Bunny my son with the "yes no yes no yes no no no? no yes! no yes well okay then i guess we can do this thing i wanted you to do." bit.
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Mar 3, 2017 13:45
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Our 2.5 year old is doing all the amazingly cute and amazingly infuriating things mentioned in this thread. All of her communication skills are coming along and it's awesome... She can have a full conversation. However she won't say I love you. She knows what it means and has said it before (literally MAYBE a handful of times in the past). She will also parrot any gibberish you ask her to for fun. But if you ask her to say I love you... She just shuts down and totally ignores you. Does my child in fact not love me? Serious answer is in sure it's just a concept she doesn't understand thus won't say. But man the way she says literally anything you ask her to say BUT that is strange. Do I own a robot?
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Mar 3, 2017 13:59
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My two year old just rolled me to go back to bed. Ok if you insist. Mommy's got this
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Mar 3, 2017 15:15
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I'm sure this has been asked before so sorry for the repeat, but I need specific ideas for entertaining a 13 month old on a 6 hour flight. A lot of the ideas I come across are for older kids who can color or do sticker activities. I don't think my son is quite there yet since he still puts everything in his mouth. I'm buying cheap toys, new lift the flap board books, and bringing things like tin foil and post it notes. Anything else that worked for you? Also - we are going to bring an ipad with some videos just in case. Are there any good apps/games for his age? And... thoughts on drugging him with benadryl? It's our first time flying with him so I am obviously nervous.
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Mar 3, 2017 17:11
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