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Macready I'm sorry you got locked out in the rain but you've been inside for an hour now; you're warm, fed, dry and have been receiving scritches for at least half that time. Please stop crying and pawing at my face whenever I pay attention to anything that's not you.
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Feb 27, 2017 01:17
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Super Grocery Kart posted:I think you're thinking of pistachios. Be glad it wasn't macadamias, pretty sure they're poisonous to dogs! Thanks! It was a huge bag of pistachios. Lol - our mostly white terrier was just sitting there next to a big pile of shells and a completely red nose and front feet.
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Feb 27, 2017 02:55
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DoggPickle posted:Thanks! It was a huge bag of pistachios. Lol - our mostly white terrier was just sitting there next to a big pile of shells and a completely red nose and front feet. "What? I didn't do nothing, Human.  "
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Feb 27, 2017 11:37
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Werong Bustope posted:Macready I'm sorry you got locked out in the rain but you've been inside for an hour now; you're warm, fed, dry and have been receiving scritches for at least half that time. Please stop crying and pawing at my face whenever I pay attention to anything that's not you. I don't like cats. I sort of think that they're all assholes, but that is one cute-rear end cat. 
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Feb 27, 2017 20:30
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DoggPickle posted:I don't like cats. I sort of think that they're all assholes, but that is one cute-rear end cat. He's both tremendously cute and a relentless rear end in a top hat, so right on both counts.   He plays so hard sometimes that he just falls asleep mid wrassle: 
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Feb 27, 2017 21:39
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I know this a dump on your pet thread. OMG batman tried to sleep on my face for 8 hours last night because her tummy hurt. Wahh Your cat's socks/feet are really crazy and cool. *edt* and I thought the mid-wrassle sleep was funny because Batman does that to me all the time. She doesn't sleep like a normal dog, you know like 50% asleep with one eye open... She just passes the hell out and you can literally pick her up and move her and she'll be snoring the whole time. DoggPickle fucked around with this message at 21:46 on Feb 27, 2017 |
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Feb 27, 2017 21:43
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DoggPickle posted:
Man, I wish my dogs would sleep like that. They can be out cold in the bedroom - someone can open a box of cheezits in the kitchen at the other end of the house and they're right there.
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Feb 28, 2017 01:48
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Super Grocery Kart posted:Man, I wish my dogs would sleep like that. They can be out cold in the bedroom - someone can open a box of cheezits in the kitchen at the other end of the house and they're right there. There is no noise or distance that will keep Lydia from hearing a string cheese wrapper opening and then appearing out of nowhere to wind herself around my ankles and mrrp.
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Feb 28, 2017 03:25
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hogmartin posted:There is no noise or distance that will keep Lydia from hearing a string cheese wrapper opening and then appearing out of nowhere to wind herself around my ankles and mrrp. With the lab of my childhood it was bananas. He'd be upstairs asleep on a bed, you'd peel a banana and he'd just appear. It was actually kinda creepy.
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Feb 28, 2017 04:40
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Blue Footed Booby posted:With the lab of my childhood it was bananas. He'd be upstairs asleep on a bed, you'd peel a banana and he'd just appear. It was actually kinda creepy. My friend growing up had a springer spaniel, Millie, that was the dumbest thing since fried dirt. But you could open a banana, say the word "banana," or even spell "b-a-n-a-n-a" and she would start salivating uncontrollably. She did not like bananas.
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Mar 2, 2017 03:25
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Avery, you little half-lopped motherfucker. Don't you EVER scare me like that again. I closed your cage because we were going to have the front door open to bring in a new table, and when I sit down after bringing it in, your cage is open and I can't find you. I went outside with a drat flashlight and tore the house apart, even looked under the couch. Started panicking until I looked under the couch again after hearing scrabbling and there's his squishy brown rear end wiggling between toys stuck under the couch. You adorable fuckhead. 
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Mar 2, 2017 14:28
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Duke, they don't make CPAP machines for cats, or I'd put you on a ventilator you tubby gently caress. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ukTlU-a3GcQ
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Mar 2, 2017 15:50
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Dear Bruce, I know you have a affinity for all things dead and/or smelly, but just because we're on a walk, doesn't mean you get the right to roll around on dead mice. Also, please stop finding dead animals in general. You jerkass.
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Mar 3, 2017 15:27
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Sun Wu Kampf posted:You're looking kinda dead lately Mora Sorry for your loss 
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Mar 5, 2017 02:18
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MrYenko posted:Duke, they don't make CPAP machines for cats, or I'd put you on a ventilator you tubby gently caress. This made me laugh. Batman the retarded Chihuahua who sleeps like a rock also makes these noises but she isn't fat. She's just.. BATMAN. Diggy's wake-up from anywhere two floors away and start going nuts food is :drumroll: Green Bell Peppers. Huh? So weird. Like bananas. She'd absolutely eat your face off for a green pepper, if she could see where anything was 
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Mar 5, 2017 02:35
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Minuit, Please stop waking me up for food by hooking my nipple with your claw. It's horrible and confusing to be woken up this way and I'm afraid I'll punch you in your dumb cat skull one of these days out of panic response. Please stop. Stop.
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Mar 10, 2017 22:13
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moms friend from work posted:Minuit, I have to wonder if cats have nipple detectors. It never fails whenever my cat comes up for a cuddle, she gets her claws on my nipple.
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Mar 10, 2017 22:16
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Iron Crowned posted:I have to wonder if cats have nipple detectors. Empirical evidence on this side points to yes. They remain accurate even through multiple layers of blankets.
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Mar 12, 2017 05:43
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Harriet, please stop freaking out my roomate by lurking and then jumping out when they pass by.
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Mar 12, 2017 06:51
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bunnyofdoom posted:Harriet, please stop freaking out my roomate by lurking and then jumping out when they pass by. bunny, you should be joining in. dafuq
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Mar 12, 2017 12:08
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bunnyofdoom posted:Harriet, please stop freaking out my roomate by lurking and then jumping out when they pass by. I used to live with a cat that'd do this, except she was really bad at it so you'd see her coming half the time. If she realized you'd seen her, she'd glare at you for spoiling her lurk. I'd have to avert my eyes so I wouldn't feel bad.
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Mar 12, 2017 14:38
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Bud K ninja sword posted:bunny, you should be joining in. dafuq I am pretty sure I don't want my rear end kicked.
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Mar 12, 2017 20:15
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bunnyofdoom posted:I am pretty sure I don't want my rear end kicked. Adventure!
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Mar 12, 2017 23:41
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Buffy, peeing out the front of the litter box does it count as using the litter box! Get your butt inside the box! INSIDE!! If you continue this behavior you will have to go back to a tall box instead of the easy-entry box you have now. (But not really, peeing in the box most of the time is better than never. drat cat.)
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Mar 14, 2017 17:16
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Schrode, you have cancer and you're getting fed 4-5 times a day and you eat with gusto and your organs are processing it, yet you're still losing weight. Where is it all going? Your waste is normal. Your farts could peel paint. Are you somehow converting solids to gas?
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Mar 16, 2017 07:40
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Fun fact 1: Biologists have shown that planaria can actually retain long-term memories even after regenerating a severed head. Fun fact 2: Lydia has not yet learned that ghosting just ahead of me as I shuffle into the kitchen in the dark at 2am to refill my water bottle and then flopping down directly in my path sometimes leads to her tail getting stepped on, which to all appearances is not a pleasant experience. For her, and also for the half-awake biped. Congratulations you shithead cat, you have less ability to correlate cause and effect than a decapitated flatworm.
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Mar 16, 2017 17:36
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hogmartin posted:Fun fact 1: Biologists have shown that planaria can actually retain long-term memories even after regenerating a severed head. This is the direct cause of all of the long bones and 3 toes in my right foot being fractured. I love my cat but what an rear end in a top hat. Grimalkin if you were not cute as heck there would be a reckoning. Tripping over you did a lot of damage. Vanadium Dame fucked around with this message at 10:37 on Mar 17, 2017 |
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Mar 17, 2017 10:26
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moms friend from work posted:Minuit, Batman has such tiny claws that they are like freddy Kruger sharp and I definitely sleep in a bra and T-shirt every night for this exact reason. She most definitely also tried to have a little sip of food one night when she was a very small puppy and that was probably the most awkward thing that has ever happened to me in my life. UUUGUGHHHH  Diggy! It is was SO not cool this morning when I woke up and yawned really silly big with my eyes closed and you licked my FRIGGIN UVULA with your entire head inside my mouth. This is not the way to wake up. I am totally not giving you a treat today, you blind little lovable adorable rear end in a top hat.
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Mar 19, 2017 05:22
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Sherlock has an interdigital cyst (furunicle) that he will not stop licking. I semi-solved the problem by putting a baby sock (long story) onto his foot which was hilarious and effective but he's figured out how to get the sock/elastic off and is now like. dining on his loving hand sore. I don't understand why he's attached to keeping it like your body your choice nasty dog but it means more epsom salt soaking and baby socks so??????? dogs are gross and while I love mine, I would be much happier if taking care of him didn't include buying BABY SOCKS from Baby Gap (jk I have no problem with that I'll wash them in hot a few times and give them to my niece  )
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Apr 2, 2017 21:59
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Your profile pic gave me a good day. All by it's lonesome. Sorry about your baby-gap-sock problem. Diggy won't stop licking the sofa for some reason, and its all wet and gross all the time in one spot, and I definitely didn't spill anything over there because I don't use that couch at all. My next door neighbor's retarded kid has all toys that are like big trucks and cars with handles to pull them? I don't have kids so it's hard to explain. They're almost big enough to ride in, but like BIG and plastic, and this little tard runs them back and forth over the planks in the deck and also the slate pieces that line their backyard walkway as loud as humanly possible, with a nice WHAM BAM every time he slams it into the deck wall or the fence, from 8 AM and other random hours that they let his dumbass roam free until 8 o'clock at night. They have a total right to use their own backyard and deck, but it drives my dogs bananas and they start barking, and then other dogs start barking and that stupid kid is the start of it all. I hope they move soon. I'm throwing weeds over the fence into their yard at an equivalent rate to how often their dog's balls end up in my yard (sometimes it's weird trash too, like I found an egg carton the other day, so gently caress 'em) Sometimes I leave a ball in plain view in the middle of my backyard for a couple days, and then throw it back. Sometimes I just let it sit there for a week or so, maybe move it once or twice, and then make it disappear (in the trash). I'm a huge bitch.
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Apr 3, 2017 16:17
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Will you EVER stop howling? You somehow leaned for like 4 years that howling outside the bedroom door won't get you food but somehow last summer you started doing it again and no matter what I do you wont. Stop. It is the most annoying thing I've ever heard in my life. AROOOOOOOOOO AAAAAAAAAROOOOOOOOOOO. However this text does not quite explain how horrible this noise is. I should not be awake this early posting on forums. And no, you're not getting food. Fake edit: your photo won't white balance easily on my phone and I'm too lazy/angry to work on it. And sit still for photo time! You woke me up now you get to be harassed. 
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Apr 11, 2017 12:08
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Why did you try to "search this Mac" 5 times? Why is it when you walk over the computer you always step on the track pad? All the other cats know to avoid it. 
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Apr 12, 2017 14:38
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Sherlock had a training plan session yesterday which was really great. The trainer (who I think has worked beside A Life Less [Renee, if you're reading this, Jess]) said that after observing him she can say that Sherlock is basically a "rich kid brat with an entitlement problem and an adrenaline addiction". my baby.
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Apr 12, 2017 17:11
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Mola decided it would be a great plan to come up into bed and puke on me this morning instead of literally anywhere else in the house. At 5:00 in the morning. Thanks, cat. Is this how you express your love now? It is not appreciated.
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Apr 12, 2017 21:25
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Flying Leatherman posted:Mola decided it would be a great plan to come up into bed and puke on me this morning instead of literally anywhere else in the house. At 5:00 in the morning. Lol. Batman puked on my bedspread yesterday and I had literally JUST WASHED IT. Its a freaking duvet cover on a king-sized duvet and it takes me like 20 minutes to pack that thing. It's like stuffing a pillow into a pillowcase that's the size of a room and I had just gotten done doing that, and she barfed a handful of half-digested dog kibbles square in the middle. like, COME ON, seriously?? It was still WARM.
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Apr 14, 2017 06:41
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DoggPickle posted:Lol. Batman puked on my bedspread yesterday and I had literally JUST WASHED IT. Its a freaking duvet cover on a king-sized duvet and it takes me like 20 minutes to pack that thing. It's like stuffing a pillow into a pillowcase that's the size of a room and I had just gotten done doing that, and she barfed a handful of half-digested dog kibbles square in the middle. like, COME ON, seriously?? It was still WARM. I just saw a life hack on instagram on how to put the duvet back into the cover. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DRPfudNNd8Y now on FB.
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Apr 14, 2017 17:46
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I have jerk cats and I must shame. Again. Grimalkin, you are the cutest sweetest fluffiest little cat ever. You do not get to sleep in the bedroom with me anymore since you discovered that you really like slamming the hanging closet doors against each other since it makes a fun sound. Now that you have been banished from the bedroom you have discovered that you also really like scratching at the carpet at the base of my bedroom door, then clawing at the door. When this happens at 5am I am really tired and want more sleep and you do it over and over again until I give up because I will not be able to get back to sleep. Maybe you are out of food? No. Plenty of food and water. Go play chase with the other cat, I am not petting you for being such an rear end in a top hat. Mister, you are a great cat, a big fluffy monster of 20lbs of muscle and are quiet and love being petted. You also have a mane of fur around your butthole that can be groomed but you still get dingleberries and leave turdlets around my place. This is not your fault, you use the litter box just fine, but I *am* going to have your butt mane shaved and you are not going to like it. Sorry about that.
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Apr 15, 2017 01:09
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Nina, for the love of God, stop knocking the matza boxes off the table while I'm out and nibbling on the contents. They're tasteless cracker things for humans, what could a dog possibly see in them?? If I have to buy more matza just to get through the holiday, then I'm replacing your nice doggie kibble with this frigging unleavened bread so you suffer with me.
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Apr 15, 2017 01:32
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Hey Pixel, When you burrow in here out of sight and fall asleep, I get super worried you've vanished. Also quit playing in your litter tray like a animal. You poop in there, it's not right. 
GRINDCORE MEGGIDO fucked around with this message at 14:59 on Apr 15, 2017 |
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Apr 15, 2017 06:47
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Maggie... You should be thankful I'm a huge softy and let you sleep in our bed. Waking up early and obsessively licking your rear end in a top hat, and the resulting wet spot on the bed is bad enough. But if you jolt us awake at 6AM on a Saturday by violently leaping out of the bed after being startled by farting into your own mouth again, I may have to toss you out of the room.
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Apr 15, 2017 14:08
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