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  ----------------------------------------------------------------------  APRIL 2ND! HOSTED BY THE NEW DAY Universal Title Match Goldberg(c) vs. Brock Lesnar w/ Paul Heyman Undertaker vs. Roman Reigns WWE Title Match Bray Wyatt(c) vs. Randy Orton Seth Rollins vs. Triple H John Cena and Nikki Bella vs. The Miz and Maryse US Title Match Chris Jericho(c) vs. Kevin Owens Intercontinental Title Match Dean Ambrose(c) vs. Baron Corbin Raw Women's Title Triple Threat Match Bayley(c) vs. Charlotte Flair vs. Sasha Banks Smackdown Women's Title Match Alexa Bliss(c) vs. Every Smackdown Woman Available Raw Tag Team Title Triple Threat Match Gallows & Anderson(c) vs. Cesaro & Sheamus vs. Enzo & Big Cass Andre The Giant Memorial Battle Royal ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Raw Results Taken from WON. Brock Lesnar and Paul Heyman started the show. He got cheered like the biggest babyface in the company, though Corey Graves claimed some fans were booing. Heyman laughed over Lesnar giving Goldberg an F-5. Heyman said he could see the future and that vision has been bestowed upon every one of the fans courtesy of the Goldberg destroyer, Brock Lesnar. He said April 2 will be the night Lesnar causes the "so-called announcers" to scream "down goes Goldberg." There were some Goldberg chants, but they got drowned out by boos. Heyman trolled the Goldberg fans by teasing that he was here tonight, then quickly pulled the rug out from under them. Heyman admitted, for the past few months, they had a serious problem with Goldberg because every time they've faced him, the results have been the same: spear, jackhammer, Goldberg. But not last week, because the story then was F-5, down goes Goldberg. He said Goldberg went down to the single most effective finishing move in WWE history, the F-5. Heyman said the greatest champion in wrestling history, a resurrection of biblical proportions will take place at WrestleMania, referring to Lesnar winning the championship. He said Heyman's theory of WrestleMania relativity goes like this: F-5=Lesnar goes up=down goes Goldberg. Stephanie McMahon and Mick Foley talked backstage. Stephanie said Heyman was creepy. She admitted their relationship has been rocky as of late. Stephanie said if Mick is willing to learn, she was willing to teach. Stephanie had his first lesson, by the end of the night, she wanted Foley to fire someone from the Raw roster. Stephanie told him to find the bottom 10% and find the one person to fire to send a message of strong leadership. She wants him to think like a business person. Foley reluctantly agreed. Sasha Banks defeated Dana Brooke (1:22) Bayley and Charlotte were at ringside. Sasha Banks scored the pin with a reverse cradle. Postmatch, Charlotte lashed out at Dana Brooke, calling her a disgrace and how she doesn't deserve to be by her side. Charlotte said she was finally going to get rid of her. Charlotte started to say she was actually going to keep her around, but Brooke punched Charlotte. Brooke gave Charlotte a short-armed clothesline, brawled around ringside with her. Crowd chanted for Brooke as Charlotte walked off. Michael Cole announced this year's recipient of the Warrior Award would be Eric LeGrand, a Rutgers University football player who was paralyzed in a game vs. Army in 2010. Brian Kendrick and Tony Nese defeated Akira Tozawa and T.J. Perkins (8:50) Akira Tozawa did a tope on Brian Kendrick where he leads with his head. T.J. Perkins then jumped over Tozawa to score a huracanrana on Tony Nese. Nese pulled the ring skirt over Tozawa's head to land a dropkick for the heat. Perkins had a good hot tag sequence that included a jumping DDT on Nese, forcing Kendrick to make the save. Kendrick reached for Perkins outside the ring, but Tozawa ran over to kick him to the floor. Nese gave Perkins a knee to the back, which sent Perkins flying into Tozawa, who also went to the floor. Nese pinned Perkins with a schoolboy cradle and a handful of trunks. They announced Tozawa vs. Kendrick vs. Perkins vs. Nese vs. Kendrick vs. Austin Aries in a five-way tomorrow night. The winner faces Neville for the Cruiserweight Championship at WrestleMania. Charly Caruso asked Gallows and Anderson about facing Cesaro & Sheamus or Enzo & Cass at WrestleMania. They blew her off saying they've defeated teams from around the world and they aren't interested in talking about anyone else except themselves. Kevin Owens, wearing a KO Mania 2 shirt (in the style of the WrestleMania 2 logo), did a promo in the ring with the spotlight on him. He said one month ago today, he took the spotlight and put it right back where it belongs at the Festival of Friendship in Las Vegas. They showed highlights of Owens' attack. Owens said a lot of people were upset at him for betraying Jericho, for pretending to be Jericho's best friend for months. Owens said he was never Jericho's best friend, but Jericho never actually considered him his best friend, either. All Jericho was doing was getting close to him so Jericho could get close to the Universal Championship. Now, Jericho was mad at him not because Owens betrayed him, but he stabbed Jericho in the back before Jericho could do the same to him. He claimed to outsmart Jericho, and now Jericho wants revenge. Owens said he would give him that chance. Owens said at WrestleMania, he would take Jericho's U.S. Championship just like Jericho took away his Universal championship. When he was done with Jericho, all that would be left is the Tears of Jericho, Cry it Out, man. Owens said he was teaming with a destroyer tonight, and Samoa Joe walked out. Chris Jericho and Sami Zayn defeated Kevin Owens and Samoa Joe by DQ (3:41) Owens superkicked Jericho off the apron. Aside from that, they didn't touch during the match. Sami Zayn sold his knee after a somersault tope onto Owens and Joe. The heels continued to put the boots to Zayn, forcing the referee to call for the DQ. Jericho ran back in for a hockey fight spot with Owens, then tried the Walls of Jericho. Joe jumped Jericho from behind. Joe and Owens beat down Jericho, and it ended with Owens giving Jericho the pop-up power bomb. Stephanie and Foley talked about who to fire backstage. Stephanie wanted Zayn fired. Nia Jax walked in upset about Banks being added to the WrestleMania Raw Women's Title match in a three-way. Stephanie interrupted Foley and said Jax would face Bayley tonight. Foley left in disgust to clear his head. Stephanie offered to give him company. Jinder Mahal walked up to Foley demanding that he not be the one who gets fired tonight. Foley told him he would have to decide, but until then Mahal would get ready for a match tonight with Reigns. The New Day were backstage for the debut of their new talk show "New Day Talks." Big E. had a tie over his singlet. Kofi Kingston welcomed the Big Show as thieir guest. Xavier Woods sang Show's theme song. Woods announced that Show has the chance to become the first two-time winner of the Andrew the Giant Battle Royal. Before Show could answer, Kingston rode through with an advertisement for the New Day's new ice cream. Woods asked about the Jetsons new movie, "The Jetsons & WWE: Robo WrestleMania." Show talked about the movie when Titus O'Neal walked in. He was worried about being the one fired, then was mad about Show appearing in the Jetsons movie. O'Neal shoved Show, who fumed. Woods called O'Neal "Tight Drawers O'Neal." Enzo & Cass came out. Enzo showed off a new coffee mug after Cesaro spilled coffee last week. It read "Watta we got ova here. Cuppa haters." Cass said we're in March Madness, they weren't Villanova, UNC, Gonzaga or Kansas, they were Enzo and Cass. So when people filled out their brackets, people should make him and Enzo the champions. Enzo & Cass fought to a no contest with Sheamus & Cesaro (7:59) While Sheamus was on the apron, Cass gave him the big boot, sending both men to the floor. Anderson and Gallows ran out through the crowd and jumped Cass and Sheamus. Graves talked about how Anderson and Gallows wanted to leave both teams laying. Anderson and Gallows gave Cesaro the Magic Killer, and disposed of Amore, as well, standing over all four of the men involved in the match. Cool tag spots by Sheamus & Cesaro, including Sheamus giving Amore a rolling senton as Cesaro delivered a double stomp off the ropes. Foley confronted Anderson and Gallows backstage. He screamed at them about potentially firing both of them, then ordered Anderson & Gallows to face Enzo & Cass along with Cesaro & Sheamus in a three-way for the Raw Tag Team Championships at WrestleMania. Roman Reigns defeated Jinder Mahal (2:55) Reigns delivered clotheslines in the corner to Mahal when the Undertaker's gong sounded overhead. Crowd exploded, but it was just a distraction as Mahal hit a Michinoku Driver for a near fall. Reigns, looking upset over the Undertaker's mind games, roared out of the corner with a Superman Punch, then pulled Mahal up for another Superman Punch and the pin. Reigns said he wasn't messing around tonight and called out the Undertaker. Reigns waited through a commercial break, but Shawn Michaels came out instead. Michaels got a much better reaction than his last few suprise appearances. Reigns said he was glad to see him, but he didn't call out HBK, he called out the Undertaker. Michaels said he saw what happened between Reigns and the Undertaker last week. He said he saw what happened when the gong went off during Reigns' match. He said Reigns is unfocused and distracted, and come WrestleMania the Undertaker would eat Reigns alive. Crowd largely cheered that. Reigns said that wasn't happening, and everyone asks him "What is it going to be like when you're in the ring with the Undertaker?" Maybe they should ask "What will it be like for the Undertaker when he's in the ring with him?" Michaels said he's on Reigns' side, but Reigns should acknowledge he's Mr. WrestleMania. He knows what it's like to walk around with a chip on his shoulder, what it's like to have everyone secretly hope he's going to fail. He's walked in Reigns' shoes and he's on Reigns' side. Reigns said he appreciates the advice, but with all due respect, the Undertaker retired Shawn. Reigns said he's the guy who's gonna retire the Undertaker. Reigns left the ring while Michaels just watched on. Braun Strowman ran out and clotheslined Reigns, who fell head over heels off the ramp to the floor, landing near the barricade. Strowman screamed at Michaels, as well. Crowd chanted "Thank you, Strowman." As Reigns got up, they chanted "HBK." Stephanie and Foley watched from backstage. Stephanie wanted to know who he was going to fire. Foley wanted to talk her out of firing someone, but said it was a decision he had to take. Stephanie said it was a move that was only going to increase the competition in the locker room. Stephanie said Foley had one hour to make the decision, and if he doesn't, she'll make it for him. And if she decides, it will be something he may not like. Austin Aries defeated Ariya Daivari (3:46) Crowd wasn't as into Aries as there were last week. Aries brought back in Pendulum Elbow, used a kneebreaker into a back suplex where he dropped Ariya Daivari on his head. Aries pinned him with the Roaring Elbow. Neville watched from backstage with the new Cruiserweight Championship belt. Emma is coming. The Big Show defeated Titus O'Neal (1:50) Show, in his last match inside the building where he defeated Hulk Hogan to win the WCW World Championship in 1995 at the age of 23, scored two choke slams. Crowd chanted for another in a scene straight from 1995 ECW and 911. Show obliged and pinned him. I guess Show needed to wrestle an O'Neal while he could. Bayley talked with Banks backstage about wrestling Jax. Banks said Bayley shouldn't listen to the haters. Bayley asked "What haters?" Banks said the haters who said Bayley isn't a deserving champion. Banks told her she's got this. Banks left, and Bayley had a uncertain look on her face after Banks' remarks. Jericho was backstage and did an interview with Mike Rome. He said he was bringing back the Highlight Reel next week so everyone could see the real Kevin Owens. He told Tom Phillips to hit the bricks. Rome pointed out he wasn't Tom Phillips. Jericho was undeterred, maintaining that he was Tom Phillips. He told Tom Phillips if he knew what happened to people who said they weren't who they were. Suddenly, the List of Jericho was back, and he added Tom Phillips to the list. Well, Phillips was on the list last October, under the name "Felipe Tomastein." Bayley defeated Nia Jax by DQ (7:45) Jax got disqualified for refusing to break in the corner during the five count for the Vince Verhei special. Jax hung Bayley upside down in the corner and put the boots to her. She wanted to give Bayley a splash while she was still tied to the tree of woe, but the referee stopped her. So Jax dragged Bayley out of the ring and threw her against the dasherboards after the match. Crowd surpassed its burnout phase at this point. Stephanie was in the ring. Crowd chanted "CM Punk," but she was so far in her scripted routine she ignored them. They tapered off soon enough. Foley came out, visibly limping. Stephanie wanted to know who he was going to fire. Foley said he couldn't think of one superstar who deserved to be fired. But ten minutes a name jumped off the page. He thanked Stephanie for giving him this assignment, and he thought it would really help the product. He said it was Stephanie McMahon. Crowd roared and chanted "yes." Stephanie didn't sell it at all and said it wasn't in his power to fire her. Mick said Stephanie treated her talent like chattle, but they're human beings. Foley said he treasured his friendship of 18 years with Stephanie. Foley said in September, when HHH helped Owens win the Universal Championship, she swore to him that she new nothing about it. He said then that she was either telling the truth or a really good liar and a really bad person. He knows now he's looking into the eyes of a really good liar and a really bad person. HHH came out and said if he had something to say, say it to his face. Foley told HHH he would be happy to, but HHH was always hiding in the shadows. HHH said he was easy to find and threatened to rip Foley's leg off and hit him in the head with it. Foley wondered if HHH was going to let Joe do it for him, since that's what he's doing nowadays. HHH said he's working hard to develop the future because he doesn't want to look at pathetic has-beens like Foley. He didn't want Foley back, but Stephanie actually likes him. HHH told Foley don't mistake Stephanie's heart for a lack of being able to do what it takes. Crowd chanted CM Punk, and HHH got thrown off in his script. Foley said, unlike the WWE superstars, they don't have to pretend to like HHH. Unlike HHH, he looks at himself and sees someone he likes. HHH wondered how his kids would feel about Foley getting fired. Dewey and Noelle. He brought up Dewey working in Stanford, and said maybe Mick will give him a ride to the unemployment office. HHH asked if that struck a chord. HHH told Foley to tuck his tail between his legs and waddle up the ramp. When he gets back there, he needs to have a life altering moment where he understands how much he loves his job. And he needs to jump when Stephanie tells him to. He ordered Mick to get the hell out of his ring. Foley put his microphone down and started to walk out. HHH and Stephanie turned their back to Foley, who brought out Mr. Socko. HHH walked over, but Foley put him in the mandible claw. Stephanie gave him a low blow. HHH took off his jacket like he was ready to finish Foley, but Seth Rollins limped out on a crutch with his right knee in a brace. HHH challenged Rollins to get in the ring. Rollins threw down the crutch, took off his jacket, and ran in the ring. HHH and Rollins exchanged punches to a big roar as Foley vanished. Rollins kicked HHH in the midsection, and kicked him out of the ring with a dropkick. Crowd chanted "Rollins." HHH grabbed Rollins' crutch and ran back in the ring, but Rollins had more punches. Rollins ran off the ropes, but HHH hit him with the crutch on his bad knee. HHH hit him with it again and bent it. HHH used an Indian Death Lock on Rollins as he screamed in agony. Referees ran out to break it up. Rollins got up, but HHH hit him with the crutch again. HHH got great heel heat for this angle. ---------------------------------------------------------------------- Smackdown Results
Somebody fucked around with this message at 03:02 on Mar 15, 2017 |
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Mar 14, 2017 04:17
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Raw is bad.
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Mar 14, 2017 04:17
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A McMahon stands tall every show Tomorrow, watch Shane heroically say yes to Styles' challenge
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Mar 14, 2017 04:18
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I love that in the OP, the picture of American Alpha is from WWF Warzone for the Nintendo 64. It all makes sense.
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Mar 14, 2017 04:20
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I really liked that the ending was the one time the crowd would pop for Reigns and they didn't bring him out 
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Mar 14, 2017 04:22
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I was waiting for Kurt Angle's music to start playing in that last segment for some reason
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Mar 14, 2017 04:24
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HHH IS A BADASS!!!!
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Mar 14, 2017 04:25
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DoctorGonzo posted:HHH IS A BADASS!!!! Hes strong
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Mar 14, 2017 04:28
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Already a shirt
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Mar 14, 2017 04:29
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Mar 14, 2017 04:30
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Hey, anybody who went to Raw tonight, did they say anything about when they'd be in Detroit next?
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Mar 14, 2017 04:34
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Its totally cool that the same characters who have been assholes for 20 years now are running the show!!
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Mar 14, 2017 04:36
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My over cut at the end did HHH really get shook from the punk chant? Lmao
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Mar 14, 2017 04:38
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Do it ironically posted:My over cut at the end did HHH really get shook from the punk chant? Lmao He sure did.
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Mar 14, 2017 04:40
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VJeff posted:He sure did. Bick Foley
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Mar 14, 2017 04:40
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3 hours of Stephanie McMahon making GBS threads on her own business. Glad I skipped it. Though I'm very ready for plucky underdog face Dana Brooke.
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Mar 14, 2017 04:42
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At least Reigns can sell?
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Mar 14, 2017 04:52
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Wait, isn't Detroit in such a financial crisis like 1/3 of the city looks like a post apocalypse cyberpunk movie? How the heck can they afford to build a new stadium?
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Mar 14, 2017 04:52
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That ending was cool (and I dig the new shirt) but I couldn't help but wince as Trips worked the knee, work or not. For gently caress's sake, the man is playing with fire legit as is!Jeep posted:I really liked that the ending was the one time the crowd would pop for Reigns and they didn't bring him out Hmmmmm....I wonder if maybe there's a few possible reasons for that...? SamuraiFoochs fucked around with this message at 04:58 on Mar 14, 2017 |
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Mar 14, 2017 04:56
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Kings Layer
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Mar 14, 2017 05:02
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Cornwind Evil posted:Wait, isn't Detroit in such a financial crisis like 1/3 of the city looks like a post apocalypse cyberpunk movie? How the heck can they afford to build a new stadium? It's improving but most of the people attending sporting events are from the suburbs anyway.
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Mar 14, 2017 05:05
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SamuraiFoochs posted:Hmmmmm....I wonder if maybe there's a few possible reasons for that...? i'm always so split on this, because I believe he's going heel after Mania, but I could see someone thinking backstage that being a dick to HBK is a good move for a babyface.
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Mar 14, 2017 05:08
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https://twitter.com/WWE/status/841497003116843009
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Mar 14, 2017 05:08
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whats this about a new cruiserweight belt
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Mar 14, 2017 05:14
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ChuckDeNomolos posted:i'm always so split on this, because I believe he's going heel after Mania, but I could see someone thinking backstage that being a dick to HBK is a good move for a babyface. I'm normally skeptical but NO one was cheering Roman by the end and he straight up disrespected two universally beloved legends for almost no reason in one promo. I wouldn't toxx on it or anything but I'm growing more confident by the week that it may, in fact, be Happening.
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Mar 14, 2017 05:17
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I love Dana's muscle lady waddle 
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Mar 14, 2017 05:23
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Dr. rear end posted:whats this about a new cruiserweight belt Someone on Reddit shopped one that looks better than the current one but I have no idea if a new belt is actually a thing or not
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Mar 14, 2017 05:24
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SamuraiFoochs posted:I'm normally skeptical but NO one was cheering Roman by the end and he straight up disrespected two universally beloved legends for almost no reason in one promo. I wouldn't toxx on it or anything but I'm growing more confident by the week that it may, in fact, be Happening. the youtube upload of that segment is going to replace the boos with cheers, hth
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Mar 14, 2017 05:36
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Oh Snapple! posted:the youtube upload of that segment is going to replace the boos with cheers, hth We'll see. I dunno about that. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BJI7nSJE1aM You were saying?
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Mar 14, 2017 05:38
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SamuraiFoochs posted:We'll see. I dunno about that.
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Mar 14, 2017 05:45
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Sugar Blaster posted:love u fooch but you gotta stop being smug about stuff when the stuff being referenced literally happened a week ago. He said they would do it with this segment. They literally did not.
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Mar 14, 2017 05:48
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the raw stream hardlocked my laptop's videocard before raw even started so i think i ended up ahead
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Mar 14, 2017 05:49
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VJeff posted:He sure did. I didn't watch, what happened?
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Mar 14, 2017 05:55
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Caught the Smackdown house show tonight. We got Cena-Styles no DQ in the main event and the crowd chanted that Miz eats boogers. Real good show.
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Mar 14, 2017 05:56
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I had to work tonight, but I DVR'ed Raw. I can't really tell how good or bad it is looking at those results. It seems mostly bad, but with some cool stuff.
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Mar 14, 2017 05:57
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DeepDickPizza posted:I had to work tonight, but I DVR'ed Raw. I can't really tell how good or bad it is looking at those results. It seems mostly bad, but with some cool stuff. That's basically spot on, yes.
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Mar 14, 2017 05:59
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SamuraiFoochs posted:We'll see. I dunno about that. Surprising! As noted, of course, there was plenty of reason to doubt that they'd leave it unaltered.
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Mar 14, 2017 06:01
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Oh Snapple! posted:Surprising! I'm not saying there wasn't reason to doubt, but tonight seemed deliberate, and other than some cuts (which they always do; almost any YT clip for WWE is 4-5 minutes max) they didn't really edit anything significant.
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Mar 14, 2017 06:05
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sportsgenius86 posted:Someone on Reddit shopped one that looks better than the current one but I have no idea if a new belt is actually a thing or not Got a link? Also I love the look of the current cruiserweight belt, love the purple and the more angular design.
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Mar 14, 2017 06:13
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VJeff posted:Hey, anybody who went to Raw tonight, did they say anything about when they'd be in Detroit next? End of July at the Joe
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Mar 14, 2017 06:15
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