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ScRoTo TuRbOtUrD
Jan 21, 2007

i never did anything cool but one time i accidentally injured myself and got a concussion and it was really really difficult to make hamburgers for five hours straight

plus one time we deep-fried a whole hamburger. it was very bad and i didn't enjoy eating it.

GBS, what were some of the dumb things you did in the food service industry?

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The Walrus
Jul 9, 2002

by Fluffdaddy
this is a bad thread but fyi deep frying burgers is great if you sous vide to rare first

JiveHonky
May 12, 2001

by zen death robot
Grimey Drawer
remember when i peed in your butthole OP? the look on your face!

ScRoTo TuRbOtUrD
Jan 21, 2007

He hate me

KomodoWagon
May 10, 2013

by R. Guyovich
Never worked fast food, but I did get drunk+stoned a couple of times when I was in telemarketing. It made me more talkative, so I made more sales those days.

cynic
Jan 19, 2004



My friend Marco got really, really stoned and ate an entire barrel of McDonalds burger pickles, threw up in a corner then left, never to be seen again.

Mordor She Wrote
Nov 17, 2014
Smoked a bunch of weed, drank a flash of southern comfort and then broke my arm hitting a frozen bag of chicken with a sword.

signalnoise
Mar 7, 2008

i was told my old av was distracting
Used a sprayer to clean a bowl

Mordor She Wrote
Nov 17, 2014
Got high and used a screw driver to take the office door of the hinges and hide it in the dumpster area.

Intentionally put a third of a lb worth of mayo on every burger when the customer asked for extra mayo.

Turned off all the lights in parking lot to keep people from coming in.

Once me and my team all got written up for not manning the front counter and the complaint was something along the lines of "No one was up here to help me and all I could here were animal noises coming from the back".

Rutibex
Sep 9, 2001

by Fluffdaddy
when i worked at kfc i would eat free chicken all day, it was pretty sweet

Mordor She Wrote
Nov 17, 2014
All the cooking staff and I decide to see who could leave the biggest dent in the metal freezer door by punching it and we hand to send a cook home early when he smashed his hand, the next day he came in and his hand was completely swollen and purple. We called him purple from that moment on.

Nooner
Mar 26, 2011

AN A+ OPSTER (:

Mordor She Wrote posted:


Once me and my team all got written up for not manning the front counter and the complaint was something along the lines of "No one was up here to help me and all I could here were animal noises coming from the back".

Lmbo

Tolkien minority
Feb 14, 2012


I've done lots of monumentally stupid thugs drunk or high but the only dumb thing I do stoned is order a lot of takeout and jerk off too much

Mordor She Wrote
Nov 17, 2014
Once got in trouble because a coworker who was a virgin described his ultimate sexual fantasy, which was propping a girl up against the pop machine and pushing the top of her head into the fanta button and drinking fanta off of her boobs while going to pound town, we drew a diagram of how that would be incredibly difficult and accidentally left it on the counter and got writes up for it.

KomodoWagon
May 10, 2013

by R. Guyovich

Mordor She Wrote posted:

Once got in trouble because a coworker who was a virgin described his ultimate sexual fantasy, which was propping a girl up against the pop machine and pushing the top of her head into the fanta button and drinking fanta off of her boobs while going to pound town, we drew a diagram of how that would be incredibly difficult and accidentally left it on the counter and got writes up for it.

That is loving disgusting. Who drinks fanta

TOOT BOOT
May 25, 2010

lmao @ someone's ultimate fantasy involving off-brand soda

Snow Cone Capone
Jul 31, 2003


Mordor She Wrote posted:

Once got in trouble because a coworker who was a virgin described his ultimate sexual fantasy, which was propping a girl up against the pop machine and pushing the top of her head into the fanta button and drinking fanta off of her boobs while going to pound town, we drew a diagram of how that would be incredibly difficult and accidentally left it on the counter and got writes up for it.

Did he then ask you if you have stairs in your house

Rockman Reserve
Oct 2, 2007

"Carbons? Purge? What are you talking about?!"

Mordor She Wrote posted:

Smoked a bunch of weed, drank a flash of southern comfort and then broke my arm hitting a frozen bag of chicken with a sword.

how the gently caress did you manage that

drink some drat milk or something glassbones

Mordor She Wrote
Nov 17, 2014
Wasn't me specifically, but one of my coworkers just constantly ate food, like would eat food off the serving tray while he is handing to customers, so my boss set a trap for him, which was to leave a sandwich out and she told him, that "I'm going on a smoke break and if I come back and that sandwich is gone, you're fired, if I came back and it's still here, you can eat it". He immediately turned to me and asked if she was serious and then ate the sandwich and then was fired. He never understood why.



Once got blitzed and dumped an entire bucket of ice in the deep fryer and had to spend like 5 minutes dodge ice cubes covered in hot grease.

Tolkien minority
Feb 14, 2012


Mordor She Wrote posted:

Wasn't me specifically, but one of my coworkers just constantly ate food, like would eat food off the serving tray while he is handing to customers, so my boss set a trap for him, which was to leave a sandwich out and she told him, that "I'm going on a smoke break and if I come back and that sandwich is gone, you're fired, if I came back and it's still here, you can eat it". He immediately turned to me and asked if she was serious and then ate the sandwich and then was fired. He never understood why.



Once got blitzed and dumped an entire bucket of ice in the deep fryer and had to spend like 5 minutes dodge ice cubes covered in hot grease.

I dont think it counts as a trap if you explicitly tell them about it

Mordor She Wrote
Nov 17, 2014
Once accidentally threw a roast beef on the floor during a lunch rush.


Once had to pause taking a customers order at the counter in order to vomit into a trash can.

Snow Cone Capone
Jul 31, 2003


It does if they still fall for it

Mordor She Wrote
Nov 17, 2014
The day I quit I drank 2 liters of vodka, stole an entire box of half lb hamburger patties, carved a dick into my locker and knocked over the brick wall for the dumpster area with my car.

Snow Cone Capone
Jul 31, 2003


I worked at Radio Shack and if I had to do a cell phone for an old person, I would go down to the basement stockroom and hit a bowl before grabbing the phone and coming back upstairs.

Only got called out on it once, too

Snow Cone Capone
Jul 31, 2003


Mordor She Wrote posted:

The day I quit I drank 2 liters of vodka, stole an entire box of half lb hamburger patties, carved a dick into my locker and knocked over the brick wall for the dumpster area with my car.

Lol you hated your job so much you drunkenly wrecked your car over it

Tolkien minority
Feb 14, 2012


Mordor She Wrote posted:

The day I quit I drank 2 liters of vodka,

im relatively sure this would kill someone who was not already an alcoholic or a fatty fat fat

1gnoirents
Jun 28, 2014

hello :)
the only food job i worked at was outdoor events cooking for major venues i worked 15+ hours per day per weekend typically and its like literally non stop and everything runs on loving propane if even the slightest breeze goes the wrong way ooo buddy enjoy that hot rear end exhaust in your face. oh err as for the stupid bit, this was a job i did in highschool (under the table $15 an hour weekends only no bills of course) I had like nothing to buy ever when im taking home $500 cash a weekend so eventually i just bought a brand new mustang lol - in high school. I had to actually launder the money through my parents bank account

was so loving stupid, a used one even a year old was like 60% the price and 99.99% as good. god drat that was so stupid gently caress that pisses me off lol. I got a good deal (for a GT) but it was still ~$22k.

Mordor She Wrote
Nov 17, 2014

Kelp Me! posted:

I worked at Radio Shack and if I had to do a cell phone for an old person, I would go down to the basement stockroom and hit a bowl before grabbing the phone and coming back upstairs.

Only got called out on it once, too

I don't blame you at all, I used to work in a best buy store and helping old people with anything, but particularly phones was the worst.

retail shenanigans weren't as fun for me because I wasn't drunk or high constantly. But we did take out part of a wall at the best buy I worked at because we lost balloons in the ceiling and couldn't leave until we retrieved them due to the motion based security cameras. So we smash a forklift into the service area, stood on top of it and made a staff out of magnetic rods, duct tape and more balloons, with tape on the balloons to get them down.


One year during black friday the power went out so instead of choosing to die that night I hide under a table in the break room eating free pizza.

Mordor She Wrote
Nov 17, 2014

Tolkien minority posted:

im relatively sure this would kill someone who was not already an alcoholic or a fatty fat fat

Lol if you didn't drink at least two liters of a vodka every couple days during high school/college.

Thursday Next
Jan 11, 2004

FUCK THE ISLE OF APPLES. FUCK THEM IN THEIR STUPID ASSES.
put traffic cones in the drivethru so I didn't actually have to handle any customers

caligulamprey
Jan 23, 2007

It never stops.

My previous boss once called me into her office, held up a bag of weed and said she had found it in the parking lot and wondered if it was mine. When I said it wasn't (it wasn't), she gave it to me. My current boss' opinion on getting stoned at work is "just don't burn yourself on the equipment."

Go into Dry Cleaning, I guess. The pay is garbage, you'll work nonstop 11-hour days every day but you get to smoke all the weed you want.

Fuck da Mods
Jun 27, 2013

fina get poz'd? :cabot: :gizz: :baby:
dick in deep fryer

ASSASSINS!
Jan 2, 2009
i used to get drunk n high on the reg when i was a bike courier. it owned, though idk how i managed to avoid getting smoked by a car.

Ein cooler Typ
Nov 26, 2013

by FactsAreUseless
I touched a pan that had just come out of the oven and got a real bad burn on my finger

Sjs00
Jun 29, 2013

Yeah Baby Yeah !

caligulamprey posted:

Go into Dry Cleaning, I guess. The pay is garbage, you'll work nonstop 11-hour days every day but you get to smoke all the weed you want.

Not true. My friend just got fired for showing up to work high

Haverchuck
May 6, 2005

the coolest
we got high and went on the roof to watch fireworks on the 4th of july. nothing bad happened and we didnt get in trouble

Rasta_Al
Jul 14, 2001

she had tiny Italian boobs.
Well that's my story.
Fun Shoe
I did something stupid all right...


your mom!! :grin:

Colonel Cancer
Sep 26, 2015

Tune into the fireplace channel, you absolute buffoon
One time I went in to work on a Saturday. A guy died in the bathroom, my girlfriend cheated on me with his corpse, and the worst thing - I wasn't even supposed to be at work that day!

Kirk Vikernes
Apr 26, 2004

Count Goatnackh

A co-worker and I put folded (folded in half across the packet with the seams aimed toward the inside of the seat) catsup packets under the toilet seat in the restroom. Mr. Business Guy stopped in for a coffee and a poo poo, sat down and some of the catsup ended up on his dry-clean only business clothes. He gave the manager hell until she offered to pay for the dry cleaning and then she almost fired us.

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Who What Now
Sep 10, 2006

by Azathoth
I cut a chunk of my finger off while working at a deli.

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