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Guy Mann posted:Per Facebook it is officially the worst movie they have ever seen. Oh they say that every other movie
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Mar 21, 2017 08:42
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Really? Worse than Nukie?
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Mar 21, 2017 11:29
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Havent listened yet but I hope they bring up all the times Milla Jovovich asks herself "What am I doing" and also the stupidest gun battle ever. 
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Mar 21, 2017 12:20
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CountFosco posted:Really? Worse than Nukie? I dunno about that since it's kind of apples and oranges, but it's really dumb and bad even by the standards of super stupid post-Matrix garbage action movies. I think almost all the blu-rays out there were handed out in free mail-in the promotions you got for buying early blu-ray players.
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Mar 21, 2017 12:51
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sean10mm posted:I dunno about that since it's kind of apples and oranges, but it's really dumb and bad even by the standards of super stupid post-Matrix garbage action movies. I think almost all the blu-rays out there were handed out in free mail-in the promotions you got for buying early blu-ray players. That reminds me when we bought our DVD player, $300, we got a free copy of Lost in Space, The Stepmother, and I suspect there was something else we never watched like Titanic
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Mar 21, 2017 13:23
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sean10mm posted:I dunno about that since it's kind of apples and oranges, but it's really dumb and bad even by the standards of super stupid post-Matrix garbage action movies. I think almost all the blu-rays out there were handed out in free mail-in the promotions you got for buying early blu-ray players. I remember I got The Patriot, Full Metal Jacket, American Psycho, and Spiderman 3. Maybe one more. These are also the blu-rays that Steven's nerdy kid character would have chosen for the rebate.
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Mar 21, 2017 13:57
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GoutPatrol posted:I remember I got The Patriot, Full Metal Jacket, American Psycho, and Spiderman 3. Maybe one more. The offers varied over time but the quality of the movies was always insanely schizophrenic. DO YOU WANT 2001 OR STEALTH? THE LAST WALTZ OR WILD HOGS?  IIRC I got 2001, American Psycho, Pirates of the Caribbean, Ultraviolet and... Species?
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Mar 21, 2017 14:31
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Man, I took this ride in the theater, and I don't remember anything about it apart from a lot of soft focus and the weird "folded space" storage thing they keep using and forgetting throughout the movie. Admittedly, I was just there for Milla Jovovich in tight leather shootin' and swordin' dudes, but somehow the movie managed to even screw that up.
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Mar 21, 2017 14:40
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Likewise, except the only thing I remembered, until they started talking about the movie, was the very terrible CG. The color changing hair, the vampires, clones, all that came flooding back. What a very forgettable movie.
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Mar 21, 2017 15:12
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For a while I lived with a dude that was a friend of a friend I didn't know very well. After a few weeks of us basically just passing in the hall and saying "hi" I figured I'd hang out with him a little. He would always watch movies, the apartment had a really nice project and sound system setup, so I figured I'd join him for a movie. He chose Ultraviolet. I watched like a half hour and then bailed. He was really into it, go figure. We never became good friends.
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Mar 21, 2017 15:18
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duz posted:Likewise, except the only thing I remembered, until they started talking about the movie, was the very terrible CG. The color changing hair, the vampires, clones, all that came flooding back. What a very forgettable movie. Even the trailer is a mess. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lzJfZqXsKMA e: the trailed doesn't even mention the vampire thing. It makes it seem like the idea is "we created a race of supersoldiers, now they're rebelling because we wanted to wipe them out."
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Mar 21, 2017 15:22
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The best part is the fake comic book covers in the opening credits. They promise fun trashy pulp out the wazoo. Then the movie happens and you get none of that. It sometimes teases that you're about to have a good scene, or even just a cool image, or maybe hints at interesting world-building in the background... and then pfffft. Every. Single. Time. It comes from a period saturated with poo poo-rear end action movies with too much second-rate CGI, but it's genuinely dire. Its "pros" pretty much start and finish with "flashes of bright colors." Punisher: War Zone is trash entertainment built entirely on hard R rated murders, and simple jokes that play off murders - and it is so far ahead of Ultraviolet that it's like comparing the Large Hadron Collider to a Hot Wheels track. e: I'll spoil the only thing passing for a good joke in the movie. Violet steps into a weapon scanner, and the computer gives up trying to count all her guns after a while and just says, "...many?" Also how you're imagining the joke play out is better than how it actually happens. sean10mm fucked around with this message at 15:31 on Mar 21, 2017 |
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Mar 21, 2017 15:24
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Welp, guess this movie finally broke them.  WHM
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Mar 21, 2017 16:47
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MariusLecter posted:Welp, guess this movie finally broke them. "We are drowning."
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Mar 21, 2017 16:55
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Evil Mastermind posted:"We are drowning." In Vaseline, judging by the fuzzy focus effect on everything. Or, you know, the usual reason. 
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Mar 21, 2017 17:51
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sean10mm posted:In Vaseline, judging by the fuzzy focus effect on everything. The cum heist was too successful and now they have more cum than they know what to do with?
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Mar 21, 2017 18:00
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I own Ultraviolet on DVD.  I don't even have a good excuse, besides working at a video store when I was a teenager. I think I stole it, at least. I'm pretty sure I only ever watched it once. I had completely forgotten how the baddies have candy glass armor for some reason. I had also forgotten everything else, which maybe was for the best.
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Mar 21, 2017 18:06
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What's the deal with Aeon Flux when talking about Ultraviolet? People in the thread have mentioned it, I always confuse the two, the WHM guys brought it up during the drawing. I've only seen like 10 minutes of either so I don't know.
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Mar 21, 2017 19:02
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NmareBfly posted:I own Ultraviolet on DVD. Should have waited a few years you could have had Ultraviolet on Ultraviolet. Andorra posted:What's the deal with Aeon Flux when talking about Ultraviolet? People in the thread have mentioned it, I always confuse the two, the WHM guys brought it up during the drawing. I've only seen like 10 minutes of either so I don't know. It's a Sixth Sense/Stir of Echoes thing. Released around the same time, similar plots, etc.
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Mar 21, 2017 19:03
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weekly font posted:It's a Sixth Sense/Stir of Echoes thing. Released around the same time, similar plots, etc. Similarly Aeon Flux wasn't great. I enjoyed Stir of Echoes. There's also the 13th Floor/Matrix thing, and I thought 13th Floor was pretty good even if I haven't seen it in probably 15 years now
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Mar 21, 2017 19:07
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Before I listen I thought this and Underworld were the same movie.
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Mar 21, 2017 19:08
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Nouvelle Vague posted:Before I listen I thought this and Underworld were the same movie. considering I've never seen Ultraviolet, Underworld may be bad, but it's at least entertaining
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Mar 21, 2017 19:10
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Iron Crowned posted:Similarly Aeon Flux wasn't great. Wikipedia has a lengthy list of this happening if you want a trip down the memory lane of rushed films.
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Mar 21, 2017 19:14
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I'm listening to the Larry the Cable Guy Health Inspector episode, and "dick beer" is one of the funniest things I've ever heard.
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Mar 21, 2017 21:32
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Spatulater bro! posted:I'm listening to the Larry the Cable Guy Health Inspector episode, and "dick beer" is one of the funniest things I've ever heard. "Mass shootings don't bother me at all" makes me howl with laughter every time.
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Mar 21, 2017 22:57
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I honestly want to know what percentage of this episode was actually talking about the movie. Because I'm guessing it's the lowest ever.
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Mar 21, 2017 23:20
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Evil Mastermind posted:I honestly want to know what percentage of this episode was actually talking about the movie. Because I'm guessing it's the lowest ever. I'm pretty sure they talked about Cum Heist more which is alright because you know what, better movie.
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Mar 22, 2017 01:54
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I think the order goes - Cum Heist The caller and his girlfriend Ultraviolet
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Mar 22, 2017 02:04
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I watched that movie and all I remember was Milla Jovovich walking bare rear end naked not five minutes into the movie, the stupid, stupid stupid nose plugs slash filters and Jovovich shooting her machine gun to heat the barrel and use it to cauterize a sword wound
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Mar 22, 2017 02:13
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duz posted:Stand-up comedian Neil Hamburger: I produced a community radio show for a bit. Somebody knocks on the door, says 'it's me, Greg', in a normal voice. 'Who?' I ask. 'Sigh. Neil Hamburger', in the voice. In walks a schlubby dude in sweatpants, t-shirt, normal hair. Looked like a music journalist or something. Watching Neil Hamburger's voice come out of a normal looking body in the recording was weird, but I guess he wasn't gonna dress up for a Saturday radio interview. He plays in Sydney a ton, knows a friend of mine... should I tell him about WHM?
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Mar 22, 2017 02:38
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Fart City posted:Kind of hope they do Ghost Rider: Spirit Of Vengeance some time. Not only is it a baaaaaad movie, but Nicholas Cage and Christopher Lambert share scenes together in what can only be described as a "ham sandwich Thunderdome of acting." Anyone who thinks Idris Elba can't play Roland the Gunslinger should watch him somehow be a charismatic badass in a Ghost Rider sequel.
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Mar 22, 2017 02:42
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Count Chocula posted:I produced a community radio show for a bit. Somebody knocks on the door, says 'it's me, Greg', in a normal voice. 'Who?' I ask. 'Sigh. Neil Hamburger', in the voice. In walks a schlubby dude in sweatpants, t-shirt, normal hair. Looked like a music journalist or something. Watching Neil Hamburger's voice come out of a normal looking body in the recording was weird, but I guess he wasn't gonna dress up for a Saturday radio interview. Definitely. Also, what is more groan worthy in you alls opinion. "I come from a world you may not understand." Vs. "I am a death dealer, sworn to kill blah blah etc."
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Mar 22, 2017 02:55
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Had a choking laugh fit at Eric's impression of the person that would buy the Ultraviolet DVD. I didn't realize it was him for a second. Also Mr. Evil Planned Parenthood is the best Mammograms for you!!! Mamograms for free! And then I'll steal your baby bwahahahahahaha
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Mar 22, 2017 03:09
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All episodes of WHM are entertaining (even the early ones) but this one was a bit rough to listen to. Wow, did they hate that movie, it doesn't even sound like the kind of movie that's easy to make fun of. As for who is watching all those Resident Evil and Underworld movies, I think Stephen(?) was on the money when he said there's a large group of movie goers that just want to see sci-fi action or paranormal fantasy action and will take anything passable. I'm like that. Pacific Rim wasn't a great flick but how often am I going to see a giant robot vs kaiju flick? There are genre niches to be filled with "eh"-quality movies. Come to think of it, me and my mom wanted to see Ultraviolet when we first saw the trailer. In the end, we didn't but I have a feeling I would have liked it. I only developed the ability to recognize artistic flaws about three years ago.
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Mar 22, 2017 05:19
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Ultraviolet is one of those rare films that is well and truly terrible. Nukie has enough bizarre moments that it's a watchable "seeing is believing" film; Equilibrium has a laughably dumb conceit that's forgivable because of all of the cool gunplay; and even poo poo like the Resident Evil films are competent enough that, if you're just jonesing for some sci-fi action, you can watch them without feeling like you've completely wasted your time. Ultraviolet has none of that. It's aggressively boring, the choreography sucks, the color palette feels like it was chosen via the ol' "chimp throwing darts at a dartboard" method, and it all-in-all feels like someone lazily cobbling together a film by taking the weakest aspects of other, better films and stitching them together.
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Mar 22, 2017 05:40
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The trailer for the nexus should have been the fan fiction
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Mar 22, 2017 05:58
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Is the Nexus just that scene in Breaking Bad with Badger & Skinny Pete riffing on Trek in podcast form? Any random scene from Pacific Rim had more care put into it than a hundred of these movies. I haven't seen Ultraviolet, but a date did drag me to see the latest Underworld, which had several of the same plot points. But it had Bill Nighy, who I know from The World's End (better movie!). weekly font posted:Accidentally watching Aeon Flux instead would have some how been a blessing. Aeon Flux is a really beautiful movie, really surreal, and Furiosa is great in it. I love the razor grass. Count Chocula fucked around with this message at 06:41 on Mar 22, 2017 |
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Mar 22, 2017 06:30
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Is Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever as bad as Ultraviolet? It was the first thing to spring to mind when I tried to think of a similarly lovely "No, seriously, even for a trash action movie it's just no loving good" movie. I haven't seen it in forever though.
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Mar 22, 2017 12:42
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Count Chocula posted:But it had Bill Nighy, who I know from The World's End (better movie!). And his 4500 BAFTAs. #Baftassowhite
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Mar 22, 2017 13:51
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Ultraviolet also had that problem bad sci-fi movies have where they're just trying to jam in every possible concept or setting idea they could come up with regardless of if it has anything to do with anything. Like, one of the main ideas is that there's this vampire disease, right? Turns people into "hemophages"? That has nothing to do with anything. The only "vampire" thing they do is have fangs. So why include it apart from (kid Steve voice) it'd be AWESHOME!
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Mar 22, 2017 14:42
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