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Bloody Cat Farm posted:Thank you for your honesty. I wish I could know what it's like to go through what you all go through. I know that you can never know until you've been there yourself. Maybe it would help me process this better. No you don't. Get away from that dumpster fire before you become a codependent pile of flaming garbage to. If you dont get a response in a week keep trying but do not go over to his place get him to meet you somewhere. The last thing you want to see is the results of him suck starting a shotgun. Either he will make it on his own, he will get help, or he won't. its his desision at this point and he knows the problem. Its a rabbit hole to hell not wonderland.
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Mar 23, 2017 06:26
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Hi Bloody Cat Farm. I am like your boyfriend. From early 2012 until late 2013 I was dating a girl and hooolllyyyy poo poo was I a piece of poo poo to her. But here's the thing: I absolutely needed her in my life. She was the glue that was holding me together. I put all of my eggs into her basket, so to speak (  ), and relied on her for me to be happy.Now that it is 2017 and I am in a healthier place, I look back on the situation with this analysis: She did not owe me anything (even though I told her I needed her and couldn't picture my life without her and yada yada yada). She should have left me way sooner, even if I was a suicidal mess. At the end of the day, she should have been looking out for her happiness. My PTSD was not a problem that she had to be a part of if she didn't want to (this goes for anyone). My point is this: I feel like you are placing some type of responsibility for his well-being on yourself, even if you don't realize it. You are fighting an uphill battle that is more like climbing a mountain. The only person who can help your boyfriend is your boyfriend, and that will only happen when he accepts help. It is not something that anyone can force on him. I did in-patient for a suicide attempt and you know what? That did jack poo poo, and there really isn't a more forceful way to make me confront what I was going through. In fact, it entrenched me in my "woe is me, i told you fuckers that nobody can help me" mindset that I was stuck in. It was only after I made the conscious effort to accept help that I stopped being a fuckup. I still battle with depression, I still have nightmares (and even had the worst nightmare of my life a few nights ago), I still feel withdrawn from society, and all of that other stuff. But you know what? I have accepted who I am, and have accepted that the only person who has the control to improve my life is me. Nobody else is responsible for me. I'm not saying ignore him or ditch him completely, but if he wants space, trust me it may be the best thing for him, and you have zero responsibilities to him, even if you feel otherwise because of the love you have for him. E: I kind of started rambling in the middle of that but I hope you get what I am trying to say. boop the snoot fucked around with this message at 12:26 on Mar 23, 2017 |
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Mar 23, 2017 12:23
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Yes I understand. Your response and everyone else's are exactly why I reached out here. For your perspective. Yes I do feel somewhat responsible for him. He is a good man who's just completely hosed up. He's never been lovely to me. He always has been there for me. That's why this hurts that much more. While him having a breakdown didn't necessarily come out of nowhere, as he's been struggling for a while, him hurting me came from out of nowhere. I know he needs to be selfish right now, but it was literally the last thing I ever saw coming. His mom called me last night to update me. She said he isn't suicidal, she doesn't think. She said he had a mental break and didn't know what to do but run. She said he mentioned an "argument" we had in February. It wasn't an argument, though. I was a little upset and we talked about it. Basically, he got so wrapped up in his own mind with stuff that he was going through, that he wasn't very present in the relationship. We talked about it and it seemed like we understood each other and were going to work on things on each of our ends. I would be more patient with him and he would try to be more present. Things improved. Apparently in his fragile mental state it was all too much pressure for him. As a side note, I do want to apologize to you guys for saying I wish I knew what you all have been through. That was a stupid thing for me to say. Thank you guys for giving me some perspective on all of this.
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Mar 23, 2017 13:42
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Bloody Cat Farm posted:As a side note, I do want to apologize to you guys for saying I wish I knew what you all have been through. That was a stupid thing for me to say. Thank you guys for giving me some perspective on all of this. Its not something you apologize for. You simply don't understand and saying "hey maybe if I walk a mile in their shoes I'll understand". Which is a reasonable way to look at things. The problem is, its a disability. Think of it as if he were blind. Yea being blind would help you understand but, A - it wouldn't be particularly helpful and B - you would be blind. Also, putting two mentally ill people together thinking that its going help is like smashing two broken clocks together to make one work. Understand this guy's brain is broken. He needs healthy people around him giving him the support (coping skills, meds, therapy, purpose, blah blah blah..), he doesn't need to be surrounded by other broken brained people telling him their crazy. Support groups and group therapy are only helpful in 3 ways. They see how broken they are in someone else, they see they aren't the only one who is broken and most importantly there is someone there who is healthy to keep everyone from pooling their crazy. This guy sounds like he probably took a trip with all of his broken brain friends and they pooled their crazy and he has bought in to the dumb rear end ideas they cooked up. He needs professional help and support. Over time they will draw him out of it and either he will realize he made a bad choice and try to repair it, or you did everything you could and it was time to move on. This is probably a bad analogy and really lovely advice, but then its coming from someone who has many of the same issues your SO does so maybe Im not the best person to listen too.
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Mar 23, 2017 21:19
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No it's good advice. I also hadn't actually thought about the possibility of the guys he was with being equally as messed up as he is and not giving the best advice. Thank you for helping me understand some things.
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Mar 23, 2017 21:36
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Bloody Cat Farm posted:Basically, he got so wrapped up in his own mind with stuff that he was going through, that he wasn't very present in the relationship. We talked about it and it seemed like we understood each other and were going to work on things on each of our ends. I would be more patient with him and he would try to be more present. Things improved. Apparently in his fragile mental state it was all too much pressure for him. 100% know what this is like, and still dealing with it. not your fault.
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Mar 24, 2017 11:13
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Nostalgia4Butts posted:100% know what this is like, and still dealing with it. I really needed to hear this right now. Thank you. I keep coming back to blaming myself for this. Maybe because it would be easier to deal with? I don't know.
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Mar 24, 2017 12:26
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Bloody Cat Farm posted:I really needed to hear this right now. Thank you. I keep coming back to blaming myself for this. Maybe because it would be easier to deal with? I don't know. It's because of that responsibility thing I mentioned. You're a compassionate person and that's not a bad thing.
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Mar 24, 2017 12:35
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TBeats posted:It's because of that responsibility thing I mentioned. You're a compassionate person and that's not a bad thing. Thank you. Yeah maybe you're right and that's what it is.
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Mar 24, 2017 13:04
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I received an email from him this morning basically pinning the breakup on me. Told me he felt like he had to walk on eggshells around me and how he's so much better now that he's not here. It's a load of poo poo. I was so ridiculously good to him and I was the one walking on eggshells hoping he'd start to feel better. I know one day he's going to see that for himself. For now, I'm moving on. I don't want to be with someone who blames me for their own problems. Maybe one day he'll get well. Or maybe he'll keep running from his perceived problems and never fix his own issues. I don't know.
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Mar 31, 2017 14:16
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You did the right thing. I hope he doesn't call you up with suicidal poo poo or any other guilt trip poo poo.
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Apr 5, 2017 01:32
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My best friend disappeared Monday morning after a fight with her husband. Turns out I was the last person to hear from her: She sent me a screengrab of an argument they had via text and told me he'd "laid hands on [her] again." Yesterday evening they found her unconscious in the back seat of her car, apparently due to deliberate overdose. I'm tired of losing people.
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Apr 5, 2017 14:12
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Unconscious? As in there is still some hope?
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Apr 5, 2017 20:49
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Genocide Tendency posted:Unconscious? As in there is still some hope? Yeah, things seem to be looking up. But I'm probably not going to relax until I hear from her myself.
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Apr 5, 2017 22:06
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Thats the first step. If she makes it through, then get in touch and that will help.
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Apr 5, 2017 22:33
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I ran into the woman across the back fence today, whose son was a troubled vet. He was the reason I started checking out GIP, to see if he'd be ok with posting with a bunch of similar folks, I'd buy him an account and "Hey Aron, there's this whacky website with a subforum with some dudes that have been kinda sorta exactly where you've been. Good online support group, maybe Check it out?" October a year and a half ago, we were all ready to head to the airport for Miami the next morning to see our daughter, when there's a SWAT team banging on the door one night. They wanted us out of there, and permission to set up a post in the back yard. i said wait 12 hours and we'll be leaving for the week. Seems our neighbor was waving a gun around and really upset. I walked back there with this kid cop with a sniperscoped rifle, and told him I could probably talk to Aron, he'd listen, but of course that was ruled out. I let the cop have one of those stupid molded plastic lawn chairs to set up on over the fence, the most absurd of scenarios. Supposedly they talked Aron down, he got treatment, they adjusted his meds, or idk what. So, today walking the dog I saw his mom in her yard, and mentioned the For Sale sign in their yard. And she told me why, because of what happened last October. She couldn't even say it, she just said he passed away. She found him in the back yard with his gun. Idk why I'm even posting this. He was a good lad, good heart, he didn't deserve that. You boys talk to someone when you need to, it can get better.
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Apr 6, 2017 01:16
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Jesus dude, I'm sorry 
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Apr 7, 2017 01:49
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Mike-o posted:Jesus dude, I'm sorry Yeah, me too, that's what I told his mom. drat shame.
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Apr 7, 2017 02:54
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Took a long time, a lot of dumb mistakes and even more dumb poo poo but talking to someone once a week at the VA changed my life man. It still sucks (feels like it does when it doesnt, at all) , but I feel better. A little bit. So going to talk is a good idea, if im doing it man anyone can.
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Apr 28, 2017 18:53
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I need someone to talk to. Edit: gonna have a good sob session and go talk to behavioral health as soon as I can. I'm sick and loving tired of this poo poo. Being miserable at best and completely unable to move at worst isn't going to work anymore. But maybe that's just the alcohol talking. I don't loving know I've seen my family for maybe two weeks total in the last five years. I went home for Christmas this year and realized that I'd forgotten what it's like to be in a house, because I've been in a barracks room for the past half a decade. A Bad Poster fucked around with this message at 05:40 on May 6, 2017 |
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May 6, 2017 05:27
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Hey man I'm available and local, though not sure how much help a 29 year old slick sleeve LT would be
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May 6, 2017 05:39
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A Bad Poster posted:I need someone to talk to. Have you got access to the slack?
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May 6, 2017 05:41
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Pesticide20 posted:Have you got access to the slack? No, I just downloaded the app though. Edir; I'm too hosed up to get that thing working but I made an account I think. I'm going to go smoke like 6 cigarettes while I finish TN is bottle and bourbon and then go to be d. Defifnite not kill myself, don't worry guys. I'd never do that to my mom and my brother A Bad Poster fucked around with this message at 05:58 on May 6, 2017 |
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May 6, 2017 05:44
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Check back in through the weekend.
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May 6, 2017 15:43
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I'm doing OK. Spent the day talking to my friends, the handful that I still trust and care about. Didn't talk about the problems I'm dealing with because none of them really know what's going on with me, but just talking to people that I actually like helps.
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May 7, 2017 12:18
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Make goals for yourself dude. Seriously. People would be shocked what achieving goals can do for you. They don't have to be crazy goals like you're gonna have a million dollars by next Tuesday, either. Small goals. Do you ever spend a day on the weekend just laying in bed being miserable? Make it a goal that you will put your shoes on every day before noon. Make it a goal to get to sleep before 11pm one night. Make it a goal to achieve your goal. These may not be specific to you but I'm just trying to give examples. What I've done that has helped me is every single day I will make a list of three goals I want to achieve. And sometimes those goals are like the ones mentioned above, or something as silly as making my bed before 7am. When I scratch those things off my list, I feel like I've accomplished a little bit. What do you want to go to school for, if anything? Let's say it's accounting like me. Make it a goal to study accounting for 20 minutes a day. poo poo like that. We're here for you man. And I know goal setting might seem cheesy, but trust me it works. You'll feel productive and you'll be a little bit busy not thinking about stupid poo poo that gets you depressed for at least a few minutes out of the day.
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May 8, 2017 19:15
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Hey you fucks, nothing is ever bad enough to kiss your old lady goodnight then blow your brains out while laying in bed next to her. gently caress call some one god drat. Just had a civilian here on base that ive been friends with for ten years off himself for reasons unkown. Pretty shure he had issues with his 17 year old being a dick but loving call someone, get some loving help. gently caress.
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May 14, 2017 03:17
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Melthir posted:Hey you fucks, nothing is ever bad enough to kiss your old lady goodnight then blow your brains out while laying in bed next to her. gently caress call some one god drat. Just had a civilian here on base that ive been friends with for ten years off himself for reasons unkown. Pretty shure he had issues with his 17 year old being a dick Same. I am I wreck but I won't gently caress my people like that. Had a friend call us up to pick him up for a party one time. His wife and kids were back home for a bday or somesuch He swallowed a .44 that night and wanted us to find hm instead of his fam. Good call for him. And gently caress him.
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May 14, 2017 08:30
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Melthir posted:Hey you fucks, nothing is ever bad enough to kiss your old lady goodnight then blow your brains out while laying in bed next to her. gently caress call some one god drat. Just had a civilian here on base that ive been friends with for ten years off himself for reasons unkown. Pretty shure he had issues with his 17 year old being a dick but loving call someone, get some loving help. gently caress. This. Forever this. I've had hard weeks. I've had some rough weeks, but forever and ever this. Talk here, talk on discord, whatever you need.
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May 15, 2017 06:43
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Well I'm back in here you motherfuckers. gently caress the army and gently caress all of this bullshit. I'm loving furious right now about how little my coc cares. Missing once in a lifetime moments with my family because OH MY WE HAVE TO GO TO YAKIMA BECAUSE TRUMP MIGHT ACCIDENTALLY START A WAR is loving killing me. Oh my look at all the fun my family is having is Spain, but I'm here with some fuckwit saying "THERE'S AN ENEMY... SOMEWHERE... AND WE'RE GOING TO FIGHT THEM... SOMETIME" and that's why I can't go to be with them. Even though I'm sort loving broken by the army's already that they won't even deploy me to a territory that is STILL IN THE UNITED STATES. YEAH. YOU REALLY NEED MY hosed UP poo poo TO FIGHT YOUR STUPID FIGHT THAT YOU DON'T EBEM KNOW WHAT THE gently caress YOU'RE DOING. I KEEP TELLING YOU PEOPLE.
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May 26, 2017 10:51
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Hate. All I feel is hate for this command. My last one at least had some compassion. This one is just trying to make numbers. Mustang you don't even know the horror outside of your "perfect" platoon. This place is a poo poo show.
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May 26, 2017 10:55
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Yeah, it's Memorial Day weekend. Can't get a week off work to go to my brother's graduation from West Point. I'm loving incensed. gently caress. What the gently caress. Nope YAKIMA IS TOO I PROSTATITIS. SNSNDNSJSHFBGNFHZBZHGSCBHXNNEKNDJF
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May 26, 2017 11:00
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I just bought whatever this poo poo lets people PM me with. I'm just going to keep drinking and watching stupid YouTube videos until I'm too exhausted to be conscious.
A Bad Poster fucked around with this message at 11:18 on May 26, 2017 |
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May 26, 2017 11:15
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Alcohol rarely solves or betters a problem, for whatever that's worth.
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May 26, 2017 12:03
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I forgot to take my antidepressants today and boy do I feel like poo poo.
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May 27, 2017 00:50
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A Bad Poster posted:I just bought whatever this poo poo lets people PM me with. I'm just going to keep drinking and watching stupid YouTube videos until I'm too exhausted to be conscious. Im sorry man but you signed a contract im confused here. If you want to talk PM me but theres thousands in your shoes and I was too. Whats going on at home? A Bad Poster posted:I'm doing OK. Spent the day talking to my friends, the handful that I still trust and care about. Didn't talk about the problems I'm dealing with because none of them really know what's going on with me, but just talking to people that I actually like helps. They never will just know thats not their fault. We made the decision to join. And I understand the frustration but maybe make a list of the positives and negatives. You could use the time to better yourself for your family. Im sorry just trying to be nice idk
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Jun 3, 2017 20:10
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I'm not as worried about the bullshit that is evvvvverything political current, I'm just all hosed up in general, and if one of you dudes would like to bullshit that'd be cool; I'm sorry about anyone in active current who is worried about the bullshit going on, litterally all I can say is don't worry til we declare war on a stupid rear end ideology or something, fucccck, I'm drunk and probably sounding liike an rear end in a top hat, someone stop me from this lol. Also I should reaaaaaaally make an appointment about more not crazy pills, but my company (contractor now) is all like blah blah blah, 4-8 weeks to see someone, i loving hate them.
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Jun 28, 2017 11:08
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sixstringsamurai posted:I'm not as worried about the bullshit that is evvvvverything political current, I'm just all hosed up in general, and if one of you dudes would like to bullshit that'd be cool; I'm sorry about anyone in active current who is worried about the bullshit going on, litterally all I can say is don't worry til we declare war on a stupid rear end ideology or something, fucccck, I'm drunk and probably sounding liike an rear end in a top hat, someone stop me from this lol. Also I should reaaaaaaally make an appointment about more not crazy pills, but my company (contractor now) is all like blah blah blah, 4-8 weeks to see someone, i loving hate them. Also, if someone messaged me you'd be awesome; like for serious, I seriously would love to talk to someone.
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Jun 28, 2017 11:12
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Late June/early July are bad times of the year for me. I've been feeling myself slipping over the past few weeks, had to call work early yesterday. I'm still not sure if I'm up for work today, but gotta pay those bills. I've been slightly thinking of going to the VA hospital and checking myself into the psych ward. Especially if that means I get to avoid the 2nd and the 4th of July.
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Jun 28, 2017 11:14
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Hey guys has anyone (still in even) had a ton of anxiety lately? I've been having non stop stress dreams the last 5 days. I haven't been taking on more news than normal, I've even dialed it back, I'm not going through a lot of stressful poo poo. I work out, and have been eating healthy. Just the last week, I'm going to bed and fighting through hours of being late to formation with a beard and in civies, and someone reminding me I smoked pot in the dream (I don't smoke IRL and I'm active guard), deploying to somewhere to fight in a trench, and this kind of poo poo goes for hours and I wake up exhausted. I've been freaked out by now persistent it is and I'm trying every relaxation technique I know, but the stress is starting to creep into my waking life. Wasabi the J fucked around with this message at 00:49 on Jun 29, 2017 |
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Jun 29, 2017 00:46
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